Lost Innocence

by Susan Lewis

  Once the door was closed behind them, and Bevan was certain they couldn’t be overheard, he looked at Annabelle’s face on one of the screens and said, ‘Well, what do you make of her so far? Is she on the level?’

  Though Bevan might be a senior rank, out of hours he was Lisa’s live-in partner, so she didn’t feel she had to stand on ceremony. ‘Actually, Clive, I’m not getting much of a sense of her yet,’ she admitted. ‘She’s clearly nervous, and slightly defensive, which conforms to normal victim behaviour, and you’ve seen the bruises …’

  ‘But,’ he prompted.

  ‘I don’t know. Something obviously happened to her on Saturday night, or some time over the weekend, but I’ve had too many convincing liars pass through here to make any snap judgements at this stage.’

  Bevan nodded. ‘Then I guess it’s time to hear what she has to say for herself,’ he said, and removing his jacket he settled down in front of the monitor while Lisa returned to the room where Annabelle was waiting.

  Several minutes later, with the official reciting of rights and explanations of procedure recorded on DVD, Lisa started by asking who Annabelle had gone to the rave with, and what sort of things she’d been doing before she’d run into Nathan.

  ‘Mainly dancing and … getting stoned,’ Annabelle answered, letting her eyes drift guiltily to one side.

  ‘Who were you dancing with?’

  ‘Everyone. Georgie. Melody. Theo. Some bloke called Neil.’

  ‘Is Theo a boyfriend?’

  ‘Sort of. We kind of all hang out together.’

  ‘So you were there with him…’

  ‘With everyone, but I did go off and have a you know, snog with him quite early on. Well, I suppose it wasn’t that early, because I was already a bit smashed by then. Then this Neil started kind of coming on to me, so I went into the woods with him for a while as well.’

  ‘What did you do with him?’

  Annabelle blushed furiously. ‘This and that,’ she mumbled. ‘Nothing major.’

  ‘Can you be a bit more specific?’ Lisa prompted.

  Annabelle shrugged self-consciously. ‘A bit of snogging,’ she said, ‘and he…he put his fingers in me.’

  Lisa’s eyes sharpened. ‘Did you have sex with him?’ she asked.

  Annabelle swallowed and shook her head.

  Lisa gave it a moment, then said, ‘OK, so how did you and Nat get together at the party? Did he come to find you, or was it the other way round?’

  ‘The other way round. Once I knew he was there I went to find him. He was with my friend Melody, but I knew he wasn’t interested in her, so I managed to get rid of her for him.’

  ‘Was he grateful?’

  Annabelle nodded. ‘I mean, he didn’t say thanks I’m grateful, or anything, but I could tell.’

  ‘So what happened then?’

  Annabelle’s eyes drifted again, as more colour crept up over her neck. ‘He walked off into the trees, and I followed him.’

  ‘Why did you follow? Did he ask you to?’

  Annabelle shook her head. ‘Not really, but I knew he wanted to… you know.’

  ‘Wanted to what?’ Lisa prompted.

  Annabelle’s eyes flicked anxiously to the door. ‘Are you sure my mum can’t hear this?’ she asked.

  ‘Absolutely,’ Lisa promised.

  ‘OK. Well, I knew he wanted to have sex.’

  ‘Did he say that?’

  ‘He didn’t have to. I could tell, and I was OK about it. I mean, it’s not as if we’d never done anything before.’

  Lisa’s eyebrows rose. ‘So you’ve engaged in sexual intercourse with Nathan on previous occasions?’ she said.

  ‘No, but we did other stuff.’

  ‘Such as?’

  ‘You know, stuff. We showed one another our rude bits, and did some touching.’ She gave an embarrassed smile.

  ‘Could you be more explicit?’

  With a sigh and a roll of her eyes Annabelle said, ‘I let him see my boobs, and he got out his thing.’

  ‘You mean his penis?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Did he touch you?’

  ‘Ye-ah. And I touched him, but we never went all the way.’

  ‘Did you engage in any kind of oral sex?’

  Annabelle’s defences were rising. ‘Yes, if you must know, but only once.’

  ‘I see. When did this happen?’

  Annabelle shrugged. ‘About two or three years ago, I suppose. We used to go upstairs at his house, or mine, pretending we were going to play a game, like draughts or something, and then we’d, you know, do other stuff.’

  ‘So you were what, twelve at the time?’

  ‘And thirteen, and he was fourteen, fifteen.’

  ‘Did he ever try to force you to have sex with him then?’

  ‘Not force, exactly, but he definitely wanted to. I did too, but we were both too scared someone might come in.’

  ‘So you were a willing party to these… games?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Can you tell me how old you were when you actually lost your virginity?’

  ‘Nearly fourteen.’

  ‘Was it to Nat?’

  ‘No. It was a boy at school called Dean Foster. He lives in Canada now, but he used to be one of our crowd.’

  ‘The same crowd you were at the rave with on Saturday night?’

  ‘That’s right. Some of them used to be at our school, before they left to go to uni, but we’ve all stayed in touch, and we see each other in the holidays.’

  ‘OK. So, going back to Nathan and your early experiences together. Did they continue over a long period of time?’

  Annabelle pursed her lips as she thought. ‘I suppose it was about a year,’ she said. ‘I expect it would have gone on longer, he might even have been my first, if our mothers hadn’t fallen out. We never saw one another after that, until Nat moved to Holly Wood a couple of weeks ago.’

  ‘So you had no contact with him at all for, how long?’

  ‘About two years, I suppose. Our mothers really hate each other, and I know why. My mum had an affair with his dad.’ She smirked. ‘Isn’t that wicked?’

  There were other words Lisa might have used to describe it, but she was much less interested in the adult carryingson than she was in finding out what had happened this past weekend. ‘Let’s go back to the party again,’ she said. ‘You followed Nathan into the trees, certain he wanted to have sex with you. What made you so certain?’

  Annabelle shrugged. ‘I just was. You know, the way he looked at me. It was like he didn’t want to, but he did. And I was high, and so I thought why not? I mean, it wasn’t like we’d never done anything before, and I really, you know, fancy him…Or I did before he turned on me like that.’ She swallowed hard as tears swamped her eyes. ‘He shouldn’t be allowed to get away with what he did to me,’ she said hotly.

  Lisa only looked at her.

  ‘He shouldn’t,’ Annabelle insisted.

  ‘Of course not, and he won’t if we can prove he’s guilty.’

  Annabelle seemed to consider that for a moment, then appearing satisfied she sniffed as she tossed back her hair. ‘Anyway, like I said,’ she went on, ‘I was following him, and he was pretending not to know, but then he stopped by Lovers’ Dip and waited for me to catch up. I pulled him down the bank, but then he walked off again. I started to tease him about still being a virgin, and I offered to teach him. Then I told him about my mum and his dad and he suddenly went mental. He got hold of me and said I was lying and tried to make me take it back. He started crying and called me a bitch and other things…He was really mad. I tried to get away, but I tripped up and then he threw himself down on top of me and put his hands round my neck.’

  ‘Were you on your front or your back when he threw himself on top of you?’

  ‘My front. I was choking and trying to scream, but he wouldn’t let go. I kept trying to push him off, but he was too heavy. Then he pulled up my skirt and started to push h
is thing inside me.’

  ‘His penis?’

  ‘Yes. He was doing it really hard. I was shouting for him to stop, but he wouldn’t.’

  ‘Did anyone try to come to your rescue?’

  ‘No. The music was really loud, so I don’t think anyone could hear.’

  ‘Is there a chance Nathan might have thought he was doing what you wanted?’

  ‘No way! He knew he was hurting me, but then he suddenly stopped and got up. He called me a slut and said he didn’t do sluts, and started to walk away. I ran after him and tried to punch him, but he caught my hand and punched me here, by my eye.’

  ‘How many times did he hit you?’

  ‘Two or three, I think. He knocked me over and I screamed at him that I was going to tell everyone he’d raped me.’

  ‘What did he say?’

  ‘Nothing, he just turned around and ran away.’

  ‘What did you do then?’

  ‘I went back to find my friends. I was really shaky and crying, and because of the drink and stuff my head felt all weirded out, but I knew what had happened. I wasn’t out of it that much.’

  ‘What happened when you found your friends?’

  ‘They were really shocked and thought it was terrible. Then Georgie took me home to her house.’

  ‘Why not yours?’

  ‘I was supposed to be at Georgie’s for the weekend anyway, and I didn’t want my mum to know I’d been at the rave, or that I was high.’

  ‘But you’d been raped. Surely she’d consider that far more serious?’

  Annabelle swallowed hard. ‘I suppose so, but you never know with my mum, so I decided to stay at Georgie’s until I’d sobered up.’

  ‘Which was until this morning?’

  ‘That’s right. Georgie’s parents were coming back from their weekend in Ireland, so I knew her mum would get straight on the phone to mine as soon as she saw me. And anyway, I thought that was enough time for everything to be gone from my system, in case you took any blood.’

  ‘Do you understand now that whatever illegal substances – and in your case alcohol falls into that category – whatever you took is only relevant in so far as how it might have impaired your memory, or sense of what was happening?’

  ‘Yes, but I remember everything. It happened exactly like I just told you.’

  Lisa nodded and sat forward. ‘I’m going to have a word with DS Bevan now,’ she said, ‘to find out if there are any specific questions he’d like me to ask. While I’m gone, have a think about everything you’ve told me and see if there’s anything you’d like to change, or add.’

  Annabelle’s eyes were wide with uncertainty as she watched Lisa stand up. ‘You do believe me, don’t you?’ she said shakily.

  Lisa smiled and patted her arm. ‘Of course,’ she said, and after announcing the time into a mic she left the room.

  Bevan waited until the door to the tech room had closed behind her before saying, ‘You believe her because the law requires it for someone underage, or because you think she’s telling the truth?’

  ‘Actually, more the latter than the former,’ Lisa replied. ‘She’s not trying to paint an innocent picture of herself. She’s admitted she put herself on offer, and we can see her injuries.’

  ‘Is the genital area bruised?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Much internal tearing?’

  ‘Some. So, what’s your take on what you’ve heard so far?’

  ‘I don’t get the impression she’s making it up, but I’d like to know more about what happened when she went off into the woods with the other two. If she had sex with them, it could account for the vaginal trauma.’

  ‘But not the facial injuries.’

  ‘Maybe not, but she could have got them another way. The time she spent with her friend, before she went home to her mother, bothers me,’ he said. ‘Girls that age can be a bloody nuisance with the mischief they cook up when the mood takes them.’

  ‘No doubt you’ll be questioning the friend?’

  ‘Of course. I just wonder if they really understand how serious this allegation is. Does she realise the boy could be facing up to ten years in prison if he’s found guilty?’

  ‘I haven’t asked her, but if he did it, let the punishment fit the crime. Anyway, we still don’t know yet what he’s got to say for himself. He might admit it.’

  ‘If he does, then whether it was forced or not, he could be up on a charge, thanks to her age.’

  ‘If he knows she’s only fifteen.’

  ‘They’re cousins, more or less, so he has to have some idea, and ignorance isn’t a viable defence, as you well know. Anyway, we’ll get to it. For the moment, I want to know more about what happened with the other two boys, and if she remembers seeing anyone nearby during the time the Carlyle lad was apparently raping her.’

  When she returned to the video room Lisa put the second question to Annabelle first.

  Annabelle shook her head slowly as she tried to think. ‘I can’t remember seeing anyone,’ she answered. ‘I mean, there were loads of people around, but I think we were the only ones in the dip. It was dark, and he was on top of me, so it was hard to tell.’

  ‘What about when you went after him and told him you were going to report him for rape? Do you recall seeing anyone then?’

  ‘Not really. I was pretty worked up, so I wasn’t really taking much notice.’

  Lisa smiled. ‘Of course not,’ she said. ‘Now, going back to the other two boys you went into the woods with, Theo and Neil? You say you didn’t have sex with them?’

  Annabelle’s cheeks started to burn again. ‘No,’ she answered earnestly. ‘We just made out, you know, like you do.’

  ‘Explain it to me.’

  ‘Well, with Theo, we snogged and he felt me up, and I felt him too.’

  ‘Did you have oral sex?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘What about Neil? What happened with him?’

  ‘Same sort of thing really, but we did have some oral sex. Oh yes, and like I said before, he put his fingers in me.’

  ‘If we talk to these boys, they’ll confirm what you’ve just told me?’

  Annabelle’s redness deepened. ‘I don’t know. I mean, they should, but they were really high, so they might not remember as clearly as I do.’

  ‘Do you have their addresses?’

  ‘I know Theo’s, but I only met Neil that night.’ Her face started to crumple. ‘Now you think I’m a slut, don’t you?’ she wailed.

  ‘Of course not,’ Lisa lied, but being promiscuous did not make the girl immune to rape, which was all that concerned her.

  Back in the tech room a few minutes later Lisa waited for Bevan to finish his call to Morley Croft before saying, ‘I take it from that the boy’s now in custody?’

  ‘At Southmead,’ he confirmed. ‘So, do you believe that she didn’t have sex with the other two?’

  ‘Does it matter if she’s not accusing them of rape?’

  ‘It matters,’ he said, getting to his feet. ‘I’ve heard enough for now. Time to go and find out what young Nathan Carlyle has to say for himself.’

  * * *

  More than an hour had passed since Nat had been brought into the custody area of Southmead police station, where he’d been read his rights, before his fingerprints were taken along with a mugshot and samples of DNA. He was then made to remove every item of clothing, which was bagged and taken away, leaving him with a pale blue paper overall to cover himself up with, and a pair of cardboard slippers.

  Now he was locked in a cell with a single window at the top of the back wall that was too high to see out of, even if it hadn’t been made of opaque glass bricks. There was a concrete bunk barely inches off the floor covered by a thin plastic mattress, and a stainless steel toilet with no seat, some squares of hard toilet paper next to it, and a spyhole in the wall to allow the custody officers to see in while the occupant was engaged in his private business.

  The hatch in t
he cell door was firmly closed, and he was deliberately not looking at it, because every time he did feelings of claustrophobia and panic started to engulf him. He was perched on the edge of the bunk which was so low that his knees were almost at the same height as his shoulders.

  ‘It’s the only one available,’ the custody sergeant had told him. ‘It’s normally used for drunks, so they don’t have so far to fall.’

  Nat didn’t really want to think about the previous occupants of this cell, but it was better than tormenting himself with the nightmare he was facing. Except that was all he could think about. He was so afraid now that it was virtually impossible to stop himself crying. He wouldn’t, though, because tears wouldn’t make this go away, any more than they’d bring back his dad. They were useless, childish, and weak.

  He wondered, angrily, if his father was up there somewhere watching this horror unfold. He’d wanted Nat to see what happened at the sharp end, what an accused person had to go through before a barrister took charge. Well, he was certainly getting his wish now. Had he seen what had happened on Saturday night? What might he have to say about that? Did he want to deny he’d had an affair with that bitch Sabrina? Nat’s fists clenched with fury. How could his father have done that to his mother? He was a liar and a hypocrite, and he was glad he was dead.

  Swallowing another onrush of emotion, he pressed his knuckles to his forehead and dug in hard. He couldn’t bear to think of his mother being hurt, least of all by his father. It destroyed everything Nat believed about him, turning his integrity into a sham, and making a mockery of the honour he’d set so much store by. There was no point to grieving for him now, he wasn’t worth it, and yet his mother, for all she must have suffered, still missed him and longed for him with all her heart. It made Nat hate him all the more, because he didn’t deserve to be loved by someone who was as good and decent as the wife he’d betrayed. How could he have done it? And why wasn’t he here to answer for his crimes? He’d taken the coward’s way out, abandoning them all to the heartache and sorrow he’d caused, his a legacy to them nothing but lies and deceit.

  Hearing the sound of footsteps outside, Nat lifted his head, and as the hatch suddenly clanged open his insides turned to liquid.