Lost Innocence

by Susan Lewis

  ‘Alicia? Are you all right?’ he asked.

  As recognition dawned, a jolt of despair hit her heart. ‘Cameron,’ she said, trying to assemble her thoughts. ‘I’m sorry…I…I lost track of the days.’

  ‘Has something happened?’ he asked. ‘You look upset.’

  She almost laughed, but sobbed. ‘It’s… I’m afraid I can’t come with you this evening. I should have called…’

  ‘It doesn’t matter. Is there anything I can do?’

  Her eyes closed. Should she invite him in? Try to excuse herself? She didn’t know what to do. Then to her horror a police car turned into the street.

  ‘What is it?’ Cameron asked, following the direction of her eyes.

  She didn’t answer, only went on staring at the car, her hands bunched at her throat. They were bringing Nat home. They’d realised a terrible mistake had been made and now they were letting him go. But when the car drew up, only a uniformed officer got out.

  ‘Alicia, let me help,’ Cameron said, as she started to shake. ‘Tell me what’s going on.’

  ‘I can’t,’ she said, her eyes fixed on the policeman. Why was he here? They already had Nat, surely they didn’t want to search the place again.

  ‘Mrs Carlyle?’ the officer asked.

  ‘Yes,’ she almost whispered.

  ‘I’m PC Darren Whitby. Could I come in for a moment please?’

  ‘Oh my God, there’s been an accident,’ she cried, pressing a hand to her mouth.

  ‘No, no,’ he assured her. ‘It’s nothing like that.’

  Seeming unsure what to do, but reluctant to abandon her, Cameron said, ‘I’ll wait in the pub in case…’

  ‘No, come in,’ she said suddenly. What did it matter that she barely knew him, or that he would probably drop her like a hot brick once he found out what was going on? Right now she couldn’t face dealing with the police alone.

  After showing them through to the sitting room, she perched on the edge of the sofa, while the young officer took an armchair, and Cameron stood slightly apart close to the window.

  ‘I’m afraid,’ PC Whitby began, ‘that we’ve received a complaint about you from Mrs Paige.’

  Alicia’s head started to spin.

  ‘She says you went round there and threatened her…’

  ‘She’s making her daughter accuse my son of rape,’ Alicia cut in furiously. ‘I needed to speak to Annabelle…’

  ‘We all understand how difficult this is for you,’ Whitby sympathised, ‘but I have to caution you to stay away from your sister-in-law and her daughter during this time. If you don’t, I’m afraid we’ll have to arrest you and I’m sure that’s the last thing you want.’

  ‘What about her daughter staying away from my son?’ Alicia cried desperately.

  The officer rose to his feet. ‘Your brother has persuaded his wife not to press charges,’ he said, ‘so please, do as I say, and don’t go round there again.’

  As he let himself out Alicia stared at the fireplace, unable to look at Cameron, or to think of what to say next.

  ‘If you can tell me where to find it, I’ll go and fix us both a drink,’ he suggested calmly.

  Glancing at him quickly, she forced herself up. ‘I only have wine,’ she said. ‘Is that OK?’

  ‘Perfect. Red or white? And please stay there, I’m quite capable of opening a bottle, just as long as I know where it is.’

  Managing a weak smile at his irony, she gave him instructions and sank back against the cushions as he went to do the honours. This was all a nightmare, she was telling herself, it had to be, or she was losing her mind.

  DS Bevan didn’t like being lied to, and though he’d been prepared to hear the boy out, perhaps even give him the benefit of the doubt, the way the kid was prevaricating and mumbling like a moron, with Jolyon Crane constantly reminding him he didn’t have to answer, was getting right under his skin.

  ‘Are you really asking me to believe that you didn’t know Annabelle Preston’s age until today?’ he said scathingly. ‘You’re practically related to her. You’ve known her for most of her life, and yet…’

  ‘Sergeant, he’s already answered the question,’ Jolyon interrupted.

  ‘With another lie,’ Bevan retorted, his eyes boring into the top of Nat’s head. ‘How many more have you told, son?’ he demanded. ‘You said you didn’t have sex with her, but we know now that you did. Now you’re trying to tell me you thought she was sixteen. Do I look stupid? Do I have gullible stamped across my forehead? You knew damned well how old she was…’

  ‘What’s your question, Sergeant?’ Jolyon asked.

  Bevan shot him a look. ‘My question is,’ he said to Nat, ‘did you rape Annabelle Preston? We know you had unlawful sex with her, but she says you raped her. Is that true?’

  ‘No,’ Nat said vehemently, before Jolyon could remind Bevan again that the question had already been answered.

  ‘I don’t believe you,’ Bevan told him, ‘and do you know why? Because I think you’ve been wanting to have sex with her ever since she was twelve years old, when you used to mess around together in her bedroom. She’d tease you, let you go so far, and then she’d pull back. I think that’s what she did on Saturday and you’d had enough. You weren’t going to let her get away with it again. You wanted her, so you took her, even though she was trying to prevent you. Isn’t that how it happened?’

  ‘No! I mean…’

  ‘Yes? What do you mean?’

  ‘She was asking me to do it, and when I did she was…’

  ‘What was she? Struggling to get away? Shouting for you to stop?’

  ‘No. She was telling me to keep going.’

  ‘So she’s urging you on, telling you you’re great, and you suddenly decide, hey, I think I’ll smack her around a bit now?’

  ‘No! When I realised what I was doing I stopped.’

  Bevan couldn’t have appeared more incredulous. ‘When you realised what you were doing?’ he repeated scathingly.

  Nat’s head went down. ‘It wasn’t like you’re trying to make out,’ he said.

  ‘Then tell me how it was.’

  ‘It’s in his statement, Sergeant,’ Jolyon told him.

  ‘Yes, but I’d like to hear him say it.’

  ‘You don’t have to,’ Jolyon advised Nat.

  Nat’s eyes moved back to Bevan. ‘She told me my dad had an affair with her mother,’ he said. ‘I didn’t want to believe her. I hated her for even saying it…’

  ‘You hated her,’ Bevan cut in, aware of Jolyon’s eyes closing in despair. ‘So feeling that way about her, you had sex with her and now you’re asking me to believe that there was nothing violent in the act. It was what she wanted, someone who hated her pinning her to the ground, grabbing her round the throat and pushing himself into her so hard that her genitals turned black and blue…’

  ‘I don’t know how that happened,’ Nat said. ‘I wasn’t being rough, or not like that.’

  ‘Really? Well, I think you were so angry that you had no idea how rough you were being, and nor did you care. As far as you were concerned she had it coming. She’s been leading you on for years, and you were going to give it to her whether she wanted it or not. And the fact that she didn’t was as irrelevant to you as her age. You couldn’t have cared less whether she was sixteen, fifteen or twelve, you were going to have her.’

  ‘We’re waiting for a question,’ Jolyon told him sharply.

  Bevan sat back in his chair. ‘Do you know what,’ he said, ‘I don’t think there are any more questions, because it’s all perfectly clear to me. Nathan here raped his cousin on Saturday night, and his sudden memory loss over her age won’t wash at all, because he’s been having unlawful sex with her since she was a twelve-year-old child. And do you know what that makes you, Nathan?’

  ‘If I were you, Sergeant, I wouldn’t go any further with that,’ Jolyon warned.

  ‘I know you’re trying to say I’m a pervert,’ Nat cried, ‘but it’s no
t true. We only messed about like kids do when she was that age…’

  ‘How do you know other girls that age do those things?’ Bevan cut in. ‘Because you were there, making them? Is that who you’re growing into, Nathan? A pervert? A paedophile?’

  As Nat’s face turned white Jolyon banged an angry fist on the table. ‘This interview is over,’ he told Bevan.

  ‘You don’t get to make that decision,’ Bevan snapped.

  ‘My client is not answering any more questions, so it’s over,’ and hoisting his briefcase on to the table he began packing everything away.

  Bevan got sharply to his feet and walked out of the room.

  He found the duty sergeant making tea in the custody area’s kitchenette.

  ‘I want the Carlyle boy kept in,’ Bevan said shortly.

  The duty sergeant’s eyebrows rose. ‘On what grounds?’ he asked.

  ‘That he’s likely to harass the victim. His mother threatened the victim’s mother today. They live in the same village, and I don’t think he can be trusted to stay away.’

  Binning a tea bag, the duty sergeant started back to his desk. ‘Better get Mr Crane out here,’ he said.

  Back in the interview room Jolyon was explaining to Nat what was likely to happen next. ‘They’ll probably want to keep you in,’ he said, ‘but given the fact you have no previous convictions, I might be able to swing it so you can be released into my custody.’ He wouldn’t tell him that his mother had caused the biggest obstacle to his release by threatening Sabrina, because Nat didn’t need to know that. ‘I think it’ll be easier for you to be as far away from Holly Wood as possible for the time being,’ he advised.

  Nat didn’t argue. He only felt relief that he wasn’t having to face his mother yet. Anything beyond that was too terrifying to allow into his head.

  Chapter Seventeen

  ‘Well, I expect you’re sorry you ever came to see me now,’ Alicia said, trying to smile at Cameron across the table. ‘And I can’t believe I actually told you all that.’

  His dark eyes were still conveying the depth of understanding that had encouraged her to say more than she might otherwise have done. ‘You’re going through a very rough time,’ he said, refilling their glasses, ‘and you obviously needed to talk to someone, so I’m glad I came.’

  She looked at him, then away again, wondering what he was really thinking, and if she should drink any more.

  They were in the garden now, sitting in the limpid glow of outside lights with an almost finished bottle of wine between them, and the whole sorry tale of Craig’s affair with Sabrina and Nat’s arrest fully aired. She’d held nothing back, and now she could only think that on a subconscious level she’d been trying to push him away, to destroy any chance of him helping with her work, because she’d become so used to everything falling apart that she wanted to get this next blow over with as quickly as possible.

  ‘So you won’t know what happens next for Nat until Jolyon calls,’ he said, picking up his glass.

  She shook her head. ‘The fact that he lied to the police…’ She swallowed hard. He hadn’t raped her, he just couldn’t have. ‘Jolyon didn’t mention this when he rang, but Annabelle’s age … Even if she can be persuaded to drop the rape charge …’ Her voice faltered, unable to utter the words that formed her dread.

  Cameron was looking at her with the utmost compassion. ‘He’ll have the best lawyers defending him,’ he reminded her, ‘and if the rape comes down to her word against his, there’s every chance the police will drop the case.’

  ‘Her mother won’t let that happen,’ she said. ‘Even if we can make the rape charge go away, she’ll insist they prosecute for unlawful sex. So either way he’s …’ She put a hand to her mouth. ‘If they put his name on the Sex Offenders Register…’

  ‘I think you should stop scaring yourself with thoughts like that for now,’ he advised gently. ‘You don’t know if it’s going to happen, and I can’t imagine your husband’s colleagues allowing it to. They’ll find a way of sorting this out, you’ll see.’

  Attempting a smile as she glanced at him, she said, ‘You’re being very patient and kind, and you must be extremely hungry by now.’

  He cocked an ironic eyebrow. ‘Ravenous,’ he admitted.

  The lightness of his tone put a little warmth into her smile. ‘I’m sorry I kept you here all this time,’ she said, ‘going on and on…’

  ‘We still have a reservation at the Montague Inn,’ he told her, ‘if you’re feeling up to it. If not, maybe we can rustle something up here. I’m a bit of a wow in the kitchen, even if I do say so myself.’

  Still smiling, she said, ‘I couldn’t possibly let you wait on me, but I would rather stay here, if you don’t mind, in case Jolyon calls.’

  ‘No problem, and we can cook together. How does that sound?’

  Apart from being told she was in a nightmare and would wake up any minute to find Nat upstairs in his room, she couldn’t imagine anything sounding better. ‘Is pasta OK? I have some smoked salmon and crème fraiche, and there’s a blackberry crumble in the fridge that your fan, Mimi, brought round earlier.’

  His eyes creased at the corners. ‘Good old Mimi,’ he said, picking up both their glasses and the bottle as he got to his feet. ‘One of my favourites.’

  ‘Actually,’ she said, as they walked back inside, ‘my friend, Rachel, the vet?’

  He nodded.

  ‘She should be over at some point, so we ought to make enough for her too.’

  ‘No problem. It’ll give me the opportunity to thank her for squeezing Jasper in at short notice the way she did. That’s as long as you don’t mind me being here. Maybe the two of you would like to talk…’

  ‘No, please stay. She’ll enjoy meeting you properly, and giving you dinner is the least I can do to thank you for listening.’ She smiled wryly. ‘Actually, I dread to think what you’ve made of it all, but I can promise you, until a few months ago we were a very normal family.’

  His eyes lit mischievously. ‘I have to challenge you on that,’ he said, ‘on the grounds that all the evidence suggests that no such thing exists.’

  ‘OK,’ she conceded, pouring olive oil into a pan, ‘you win, but we were definitely all alive and on the right side of the law. It’s hardly credible how quickly life can change, is it?’ she added, shaken by the way she’d just more or less joked about Craig’s death. Then Sabrina’s terrible diatribe came back to claw through her heart. It was only because of the children…He couldn’t wait to be free of you. The last words he said to me were, I love you. What were the last words he said to you? She put a hand to her head as though to stop the screaming echo. Had Craig really been waiting for the children to grow up to go to Sabrina? Were they truly the only reason he’d ended the affair? The last thing he’d said to her was that she was wrong to think the affair wasn’t over…

  ‘Does Rachel have an especially big appetite?’ Cameron asked, interrupting the torment.

  She looked at him blankly. ‘Not really,’ she answered, confused. ‘Why?’

  He nodded towards the pan where almost a pint of olive oil was starting to heat.

  Quickly she removed it from the flame and took the jug he was passing to empty most of it out again. ‘Sorry, I suddenly went…’

  ‘Don’t apologise,’ he told her, going to the fridge, ‘just tell me where to find some onions. Ah, smoked salmon, crème fraiche,’ he said, taking it out, ‘and unless I’m greatly mistaken that’s a doorbell.’

  She blinked, half expecting him to take it out of the fridge, then registering that it had rung, she went to let Rachel in.

  ‘We have company,’ she told her, as they embraced. ‘Cameron Mitchell’s here. I forgot about the champagne tasting this evening…’

  ‘Actually, I remembered it on my way here,’ Rachel said, ‘and wondered if you’d thought to cancel. I’m glad you didn’t, because it means you’ve had some company. And I hope,’ she continued, walking into the kitchen and s
miling at Cameron, ‘she’s been showing you what a brilliant artist she is. Hi, good to see you again. How’s Jasper?’

  ‘I’m amazed you remember his name,’ Cameron replied, clearly pleased that she had. ‘He’ll be most impressed when I tell him, when he gets over sulking because I didn’t bring him this evening, that is.’

  ‘You should have, Alicia adores dogs, don’t you darling? Has all the wine gone? I hope you have some more.’

  ‘There’s plenty,’ Alicia assured her. ‘I hung on to half of Craig’s cellar, which is now in the cellar here.’

  ‘I’ll go, if you tell me how to get there,’ Cameron offered.

  ‘There’s some here in the cupboard,’ Alicia told him, ‘but only red. Is that OK for everyone?’

  ‘It will be when it’s open,’ Rachel retorted, rummaging for a corkscrew. ‘I’m whacked and in sore need after almost losing the dearest little spaniel to a ruptured spleen. I think she’ll be all right, though. We’ll see in the morning.’

  As she passed over a wine bottle, Alicia said, ‘I’m afraid I’ve been boring Cameron with my woes all evening, and I didn’t spare much detail.’

  Rachel turned to look at him in surprise. ‘She’s normally very secretive and shy of people she doesn’t know, so I’m not sure how you got her to open up…’

  ‘He was here when the police came to tick me off for threatening Sabrina,’ Alicia told her.

  Rachel’s jaw dropped. ‘She reported you to the police?’ she said. ‘The cow. I think I’ll go over there and whack her one, that’ll give her something to complain about.’

  ‘She already has that,’ Alicia reminded her darkly. ‘Now, could we change the subject please, the image of two grown women screaming at one another isn’t one I’d like Cameron to dwell on. Let’s talk about him instead, since you know everything about me, Cameron, and all we know about you is that you have a dog called Jasper and you’re hoping to buy a house in Somerset.’

  ‘What do you mean, that’s all we know about him?’ Rachel protested. ‘I thought you said he was God as far as the art world’s concerned, so…’

  ‘Yes, I did say that,’ Alicia cut in before she could go any further, ‘but he’ll have people trying to push their work on him all the time, so I was trying to be different by peddling my problems and pretending not to know who he really is.’