Playing Stacy

by Jenn Hype

I still hadn’t told anyone what happened to me. I didn’t want to be alone, though I was pretending like everything was fine. I ended up admitting to Carrie that I’d been jumped, but I left out all the rest. The only person who knew everything that was going on with Chad was Joe. Carrie and I argued for at least an hour over me not wanting to tell Adalyn or Ian. I felt bad asking Carrie to keep it a secret, but I knew telling them would just cause them to worry and they were working hard on Adalyn’s new comic about Ian and were still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship. Adalyn had pretty much moved in with Ian as soon as they’d made up.

  I knew Adalyn and Carrie would be furious with me for not telling them if they ever found out about all that had gone down with Chad, but I was so ashamed I couldn’t bear to tell them. Shame was a new emotion for me. I’d done my fair share of activities that the general populace would consider more than shameful, but it had never bothered me before. This was different though.

  This was different because I actually had feelings for Chad. I had been denying them and fighting to pretend they weren’t there, but they were. I didn’t know if Joe was right or not. Maybe being honest with Chad only would have made things worse, but now I’d never know. He hated me and honestly, I was okay with that. It made it easier for me to be angry with him instead of just angry at myself.

  I had reason enough to be angry with Chad, I wasn’t some weak minded woman who blamed herself when the guy acted like an asshole. I wasn’t blind to how much of a douche he had been to me over and over again, but the blame was as much on me as him because I kept coming back for more. I made excuses for it and pretended it was an attempt to get even or whatever bullshit seemed right at the time, but it was a lie. A facade. Me pretending it was all a game because I was too afraid of getting hurt.

  A lot of good all that shit did me. Not only did I get hurt anyway, but I’d hurt others in the process. I had been lying and keeping things from my friends, and I had so many secrets that I couldn’t even keep them straight. I wasn’t good at holding things in and it was eating me up inside.

  Knowing I had ruined Joe’s friendship with Chad was chipping away at me slowly. I thought about going to Chad and pleading on Joe’s behalf, trying to explain what happened and see if I could repair the damage I’d done, but I knew that was a mistake. Joe was a grown man and if he wanted to fix things with Chad then he could handle it himself, and I wasn’t going to use Joe as an excuse to see Chad again, which let’s face it, was really the reason I considered contacting him.

  I missed him. I missed fighting with him. I missed the angry tension between us. I missed the rare moments when we let our guards down and could be ourselves around each other. I missed the way my heart would stop when I heard him laugh and I missed the fire that burned in my chest when we touched.

  He didn’t want me though, and I needed to accept that. Obviously the physical attraction was there, but he didn’t want more. He had every opportunity to try for more and he walked away every chance he got. It’s part of why I’d walked away so quickly on the dance floor. I couldn’t bear to watch him push me away again.

  No matter how I looked at it though, nothing about this situation compared to any other I’d ever been in, because I’d never had feelings for any of the other men before. I never wanted any of them to stick around, to want more with me than a quick lay. Finally wanting more with someone and knowing they didn’t want me back was so painful I actually would prefer another kick to the ribs. This feeling was exactly why I’d never let anyone in before.

  Working out had helped a lot. It kept my mind busy and the endorphins, as Carrie had explained as “nature’s reward for taking care of yourself”, were most likely the reason I hadn’t fallen into a depression. As much torture as it was, I was getting stronger, and that made me feel better about myself. Joe was helping me train. I wasn’t looking to become some exercise nut, but I wanted to be able to defend myself, at least a little.

  Joe kept trying to talk me into moving since the guys who stole my purse had my ID with my address, but I loved where I lived and I refused. He stayed over every night the first two weeks but his dick eventually got tired of being in bed with a woman who wasn’t putting out and I insisted he spend some time at his own place and get laid. I couldn’t stand his constant bitching and if I walked in on him jerking off in my bed one more time I was going to lose it. One time I even woke up to him rubbing one off right next to me. It was one huge fight when he got some of his spooge on my face. Even though hot, naked Joe beating off his massive dick was an extremely sexy sight, it didn’t matter how wet my panties got because he was my best friend. We both knew it wouldn’t work.

  After three weeks of taking off work to recover I finally had to go back, but after four straight days of not seeing Joe I was getting really lonely and wanted to go see him, so I drove by his house but his truck wasn’t in the driveway. I was really tired of being home alone so I decided to just drive around for a while. I drove until my eyes started to get heavy and decided I had to call it a night, so I headed toward my apartment. I’d never in my life spent so much time feeling sorry for myself, but there wasn’t much I wouldn’t give to not have to go home to an empty apartment.

  Chapter 25

  Chad

  I couldn’t quit thinking about Stacy since I’d seen her at the gym. Aside from the bruising and cuts on her, she looked amazing. The anger and hurt in her eyes when she looked at me was looping through my mind and I kept having to talk myself out of reaching out to her. Joe was right with everything he said to me at the gym and I was determined to get through to her, but I needed a plan first.

  I’d still been avoiding Joe but I really needed to face him and apologize. I resolved to do it the next time I saw him, but that plan backfired on me. Four days after seeing Stacy at the gym I was coming in for my night shift as Joe was on his way out. I started to walk over to him and ask if he’d talk to me for a minute, but Bill, one of the other officers beat me to him.

  “Hey, Joe. I was getting ready to come find you. We got a lead on Stacy’s case.”

  I stopped mid step, caught off guard from hearing there was a case about Stacy.

  “We had another person come in and report an attack. Muggers fit the same description Stacy gave. We think we know where they are operating out of and we are going to head over there. I’ll let you know as soon as we have some more information.”

  “What the fuck! Stacy was attacked?!” Joe and Bill jerked their heads in my direction as I stormed over to where they were standing. “Why didn’t someone tell me?!” I knew I needed to tone it down a notch, but I was too angry to calm down.

  “Because it was none of your fucking business, Chad.”

  “Like hell it isn’t! I could have been helping!”

  “Helping!?” Joe got in my face. “Like you helped her when she called you for a ride?”

  “What? When? I haven’t…” I trailed off as I thought back to that night at the club. “She called me from the club and asked me to call you but she didn’t...” My mind spun a mile a minute, trying to recall our conversation that night. It was brief and I’d blocked it out, but now that I really thought about it, I think she did ask me to go get her.

  “Yeah, because you fucking cut her off and said some dickhead shit to her before hanging up on her.”

  “Wait…so this happened that night at the club?” Son of a...

  “Yeah, she didn’t have her phone or any money and needed a way home so she went outside trying to figure out what to do. She was jumped by three guys who stole her purse and beat the shit out of her before I stopped it.”

  “How is that my fault!? Where the fuck were you, Joe? Why would you leave her there!?”

  “I didn’t!” Joe was screaming at me at that point. “I was waiting inside while she fucking cried her eyes out for over an hour in the bathroom. She slipped outside when I went to take a piss for two seconds and I panicked when I couldn’t find her. But she never would have been cr
ying and freaking out if it weren’t for you and she wouldn’t have gone outside if you hadn’t hung up on her. So back the fuck up, Chad. Now!”

  I fell backwards a few steps. Not because Joe had pushed me, but because I was so stunned I felt like I could fall over. She’d been crying in the bathroom? She got jumped because I wouldn’t give her two seconds of my time to explain why she was calling?

  Screw this waiting around shit. I had to find her. Things were even more messed up than I imagined and I needed to make things right. As soon as I heard them say her name, I felt like something was wrong. Maybe it was all in my head, but it felt like gut instinct. Even if she were fine, she didn’t need to be alone. Joe should never have let her be alone until those asshats were caught.

  I shoved past Joe and ran out the door to my patrol car. I could hear Joe yelling and running after me, but I hopped in the car and threw on the lights. We weren’t supposed to drive the cars out of uniform or use our sirens to run every fucking light in the city, but I didn’t give a shit. I had a bad feeling that Stacy was in trouble, and nothing else mattered except getting to her. I had to see her and make sure she was safe.

  Chapter 26

  Stacy

  I was exhausted by the time I got back to my apartment. I’d been driving around for hours and it was late. I got out my keys and phone as I trekked up the stairs and didn’t even notice my door was cracked open until I went to push my key in the lock. The door pushed open and before I could process what was happening something made contact with the back of my head, sending me flying to the ground.

  I rolled over and moaned, and when my eyes started focusing I recognized the same three men who had attacked me at the club. Two of them were tearing apart my apartment. They were pulling out drawers and dumping the contents on the floor, ripping shelves and pictures off my walls and yanking everything out of my cabinets. When I turned my gaze to the man standing over me I saw a tongue slide over the same rotted teeth that taunted me that night of my attack and knew this time I wouldn’t be so lucky.

  Everything Joe taught me over the last few weeks came flooding back and before my attacker could do anything else, I rolled away and quickly stood up, crouching to a defensive position. My head was pounding and I felt blood trickling down my neck, but I was hyper aware and knew I at least wouldn’t go down without a fight.

  My attacker laughed at my stance, mocking my attempt at protecting myself. I took the offensive approach and tried to bring my knee to his groin, but just before my knee made contact, his fist collided with my face. The same place on my lip that had been split just weeks before cracked open again and blood dripped down my chin. I wiped it away with the back of my hand and did my best to stay upright, determined not to show any weakness.

  I was outnumbered, though. As soon as his buddies realized I was fighting back they lunged at me. I got an elbow to the jaw from one of them just before the other one tackled me to the ground. The guy I’d gotten a hit in on bounced back quickly and held my legs down while the other held my arms. I was completely restrained but I was thrashing my head and fighting as hard as I could to get free. My muscles felt heavy and fatigued but I pushed through the pain, praying that this was just a dream and I would wake up any second.

  Rotted teeth man started to undo his pants and I tried to scream out but he covered my mouth with his dirty hand. I tried to bite him but his palm tasted like grease and filth and my stomach rolled from the disgusting taste that filled my mouth. He continued to remove his pants with one hand and tears started to fall down my cheeks. One of my legs broke free and I got a good kick in to his groin.

  He jerked away and cursed at me, then turned back to spit in my face and punched me as hard as he could in my stomach. The scream I was about to let out got ripped away from me as I choked harshly with the blow from his fist. He landed another punch, this time to my face and my head snapped to the right and blood sprayed out onto my floor. I was gasping for air and choking on blood, thinking to myself that this must be what it felt like to drown as I continued to cough up blood.

  He landed two more solid blows to my stomach before he jerked my pants down. Pain and fear threatened to paralyze me, but I refused to give up so easily. So I went still long enough to make him think I’d given up, and when his grip on me loosened slightly, I yanked my leg free and kicked him as hard as I could, making him fall backwards. As soon as he was in my line of vision again I knew it had been a mistake, because he no longer looked like he was enjoying himself, but rather like he wanted to get this over with quickly.

  He grabbed my head between his hands and slammed it down onto my wooden floors once, twice, and then on the third time everything went dark. I couldn’t have been out long because when I started to regain consciousness he was yanking down his pants and mine were around my ankles, but knowing he hadn’t penetrated me yet gave me hope. When he removed his pants the rest of the way and gripped his erection in his dirty hand a cry slipped from my mouth.

  He backhanded me and I lost count of how many kicks to my stomach and punches to my face I took before I blacked out again, but only for a second that time because when I opened my eyes I saw my attacker being pulled off of me. One of my eyes was completely swollen shut and the other was blurry with tears, but I could see that the man who had pulled my attacker off of me was Chad.

  Chad threw him across the room with ease, causing my attacker to slam into my kitchen cabinets before falling to the floor. I tried to scream out and warn him when the other two men jumped him, but I couldn’t get any sound to come out. Chad shrugged them off, and one of them went down after one hard hit to the jaw. The second got one hit in on Chad, but Chad was seemingly un-phased as he gave the man three hard hits to his face before he joined his friend on the ground.

  Chad turned to look at me and the rage in his face quickly melted away to worry as he took a step in my direction. Chad started to reach out to me, but I saw my attempted rapist regain consciousness and lunge for Chad. In that moment I realized I was more scared about Chad getting hurt than I had been the whole time I’d been being attacked. Such a strange time to realize that Chad meant more to me than my own life, but before I could really process that startling revelation, Chad turned and gripped my attacker by his shirt and began punching his face over and over and over again.

  As Chad knelt over the man, unrelenting in the blows he delivered to his face, I knew without a doubt he was going to kill him. Blood was spraying everywhere and the guy had gone completely limp. They were close enough to me that even with my severely impaired vision I could see the fire in Chad’s eyes, and as badly as I wanted to get up and stop him, I couldn’t move. I just watched and cried, worried not for the man on the ground who deserved what he was getting. But instead for Chad, whose life would end right along with the man he was going to kill, because he would lose his job and his freedom and it would all be my fault.

  Suddenly as Chad’s arm was pulled back for another punch, Joe came flying into the room and lunged at him, ripping him away from my attacker. I heard them yelling at each other but couldn’t make out what they were saying. Knowing Joe was there and Chad would be safe relaxed me and it was getting harder to keep my eyes awake.

  I tried to call out for Chad, but it came out a strangled gurgle, drowned out by the blood still filling my mouth. I didn’t know why he was there or how he knew to come, but I was so grateful to see his face. I lost the battle to keep my eyes open, but when I felt Chad’s hand on my face I forced myself to look at him, needing to see his face. Only when I opened my eyes, it wasn’t Chad’s face I saw, but my attacker’s.

  I panicked and started trying to scream. If my attacker was okay, then that meant Chad wasn’t. Did I imagine Chad saving me? Why did my attacker look perfectly fine? Was I just dreaming Chad pummeling his face while I was blacked out? I started shaking and convulsing and felt on the verge of vomiting. My attacker slowly backed away and suddenly Joe was kneeling beside me and yelled for Chad to call a medic.
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  Chad? If he was talking to Chad, then that meant he was okay.

  “Chad! Chad!” I tried to yell, but I was starting to hyperventilate and choked again, while I heard Joe whispering in my ear that I was safe and going to be okay. He sat next to me rubbing my hair and telling me to stay awake, that help was on the way, but I couldn’t fight any more. Chad was okay, I was okay. Everything was going to be okay. And once I realized that, it all went dark again.

  I drifted in and out of consciousness when the paramedics arrived. I vaguely remember being loaded onto a stretcher and pushed out of my building into the back of an ambulance. I could hear Chad arguing with one of the medics about demanding to come with me and I could hear Joe trying to calm him down, but I couldn’t find the strength to open my eyes or move any part of my body. I worried briefly if I was paralyzed, but was out again before I could think about it any further.

  I didn’t come to again until I was in the hospital, being led down a hallway where all I could see were the bright lights on the ceiling. It was like the scene out of a movie and for a minute I prayed that it was and that this wasn’t really happening. I could hear voices talking quickly and yelling, and it sounded like it was most likely the hospital staff. I wanted to call out for Chad, but an oxygen mask was being forced down over my mouth so my words came out mumbled and unintelligible.

  When I felt the mask lift, I reached out blindly and grabbed the shirt of whoever was standing to the right of me and yanked down. Everything was blurry and I didn’t know who it was, but I had a message I needed to get out. If I was going to die, and based on the pain I was in I was pretty sure I was, then I needed Chad to know.

  I told the person to tell Chad I loved him and that I needed him to know that, but I was fairly certain that my words only made sense in my head and weren’t coming out right. I tried again to speak but the mask was quickly placed back over my face and my grip on the person’s shirt loosened as I was pushed through a set of doors, only to be greeted yet again by darkness.