by Jenn Hype
When I looked back at Joe his face had gone completely pale and he looked panicked.
“What, Joe? Why do you look like that? What am I missing?”
“Shit!” Joe yelled as he stood and tugged hard on his hair. “I’ve gotta find Chad.”
“What? Joe!” I yelled after him as he took off towards the door to leave my room. “Where are you going? Please tell me what’s going on?” A tear escaped and rolled down my cheek. Joe made it back over to my bed in three easy strides.
“I have to talk to Chad. I promise you’ll find out everything soon. Now that I know you’re okay, I have to make sure Chad is too. It can’t wait.”
Joe was gone before I could argue for more information, but shortly after he left Adalyn and Carrie came strolling in. Not strolling…storming is more like it. They. Looked. Pissed.
“Hello, ladies. What can I do for you today?” I joked. Deflecting an intense situation by being sarcastic and intentionally obtuse was kind of my forte.
“Shut up, Stacy. I’m just here to tell you that as soon as you’ve healed, I’m going to kick your ass,” Carrie barked at me.
“What the hell did I do to you? And injured or not, I could still take you Carrie. You weigh like 80 pounds. You’d fit in my pocket.”
“Stacy!” Adalyn yelled, looking angrier than I’d ever seen her. It didn’t last long, because she immediately burst into tears, collapsing at the foot of my bed.
“Uhhhhh...there, there?” I gave Carrie a look and mouthed ‘what the fuck’ as I stroked Adalyn’s hair. I had no idea what was going on, or why she had gone from screaming at me to crying in two seconds.
“Holy shit, you’re pregnant,” Carrie whisper-shouted. Adalyn’s head jerked up and through her tears her lips curled up and she smiled. Holy shit, this emotional train ride she had me on needed to slow the fuck down. I was getting dizzy.
“Ooooh, will you name it Stacy?” Adalyn narrowed her eyes at me. “What? I’m laying in a hospital bed after having the shit beat out of me, almost being raped, being in a freaking coma for three days and you two bitches come in here yelling at me, then crying, then trying to make it all about you with your unborn fetus and what not? Seriously, I can’t get like, five minutes of attention over this?”
Adalyn’s lip pouted and started to quiver and I could see the tears pooling in the corner of her eyes again. “Shit, Addy! I’m sorry. Please stop crying, it’s seriously freaking me out. If you’re going to cry constantly then I’m never going to survive this pregnancy.” I reached for her and she shockingly took my hand. Adalyn was big on boundaries.
“What the fuck!” I yelled when she put her hand in mine. “Is that an engagement ring!?” Adalyn blushed and looked down sheepishly while mine and Carrie’s jaws dropped. “What the hell is happening in the world! I’m gonna lose my shit!”
Adalyn laughed and Carrie came over to hug her. “I’m sorry guys. Ian proposed the day before Stacy’s attack and we didn’t want to tell anyone because of the timing. I knew I should have taken it off before I came here, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. And no one knows yet about the baby, except Ian, of course. And before you ask me if he’s marrying me because he knocked me up, Stacy, the answer is no. I didn’t tell him until right after he proposed. I had planned on telling him that night anyway.”
“Shut up, whore, you know I don’t give a shit. Ian is bat shit crazy about you.” I started jamming my finger on the ‘call nurse’ button over and over again incessantly. When the nurse finally appeared in my room she yanked it out of my hand. “What the fuck? What if I need something?”
“Do you need something?” Snotty McNurseBitch asked me with her lips pursed and arms crossed.
“Yeah, I need a bottle of champagne because we bitches have shit to celebrate. I also need some freaking food. I haven’t eaten in like a month. Do you guys even feed people around here? And not that nasty hospital food, I want something good so you’ll probably need to make a run somewhere. Also, I need someone to take this tube out of my vaginal parts so I can go take a shower and piss on a toilet like a normal human being. And while you’re at it, do you guys carry these gowns in any other color? This pukey green color really does not look very good with my skin tone. I’d prefer to see it in a deep purple or fuchsia if you have it. Oh, and these blankets are scratchy. What are they made of, sand paper? Don’t you have anything softer?”
The nurse cut me off before I could keep going. “This isn’t the Hilton, it’s a hospital. I’ll start from the top. Yes, I’ll get you some food. Best I can do this time of night is Jell-O and crackers. No one is going to go get you anything, I’m a nurse, not a butler. You can’t have your catheter removed until the doctor comes in for his rounds in the morning and clears you to get out of bed. We only have one type of gown and those blankets are made of cotton and are your only option as far as supplies from the hospital. Once you get moved from ICU, which will most likely be tomorrow, then your friends may bring you some of your things from home. Until then, what you see is what you get. Now, would you like some Jell-O or crackers? I may even be able to scrounge up a popsicle for you.”
“Jell-O and a popsicle? I’m sorry, do I look like a toddler or an elderly person?” I moved my tongue around, counting all my teeth. “Nope, I still have all my teeth, they didn’t get knocked out in the attack. That means I can chew things. Please fetch me something that does not melt or turn to mush in my mouth, please.” I waved my hand dismissively, earning an eye roll as the nurse walked out, not even bothering to say anything else. Rude.
“Hey! You never gave me back my remote thingy so I can bug the shit out of you all night!” I yelled after her. I figured if I annoyed them long enough then they would get me out of here more quickly. Of course, they also controlled the pain meds so maybe I should back off…
Carrie and Adalyn let out the laugh they were trying to hold back and I joined in, but only for a second because, dammit! Laughing hurt.
“Okay, help me yank some of this shit out of me because I don’t need permission to use a toilet. Last I checked it’s a free country and the constitution says I have the freedom to piss wherever I’d like. You guys can catch me up while I wash the hospital smell off of me. Joe bolted before I got any details.”
“Um, Stacy, I really don’t think that’s a good idea. You don’t know how bad your injuries are. What if you fall and make it worse?”
“That’s why you’re going to stand behind me, Carrie, so that you can break my fall if I go down. Duh. If it makes you feel better, you can get in the shower with me. It’s pretty small, but you’re tiny, you’d probably fit.”
Carrie narrowed her eyes at me, then shifted her gaze just over my shoulder. I realized at the last second that she was going for the call button to tattle on me. She bolted around my bed, but before she could grab it I threw my water pitcher at her, effectively soaking her and stopping her in her tracks.
“You bitch!” She yelled as she picked it up and ran over to the sink to fill it back up. Adalyn jumped out of the way right before Carrie dumped the pitcher over my head, then we all fell into a fit of giggles. Every inch of my body ached, but I didn’t care. The love and gratitude I felt for these crazy bitches overshadowed everything else.
Chapter 29
Chad
I didn’t know what to do when I left the hospital. Stacy had panicked again when she saw me. No matter how many times I tried to reason away her reaction, I kept coming back to the same conclusion. She had seen the monster in me that day in her apartment, and as much as it killed me, maybe she was right to fear me. I wanted to go to her and make things right and prove to her that I would never hurt her, but isn’t that what I’d been doing all along? Hurting her? No, not with my fists, but with my words and actions. Isn’t that just as bad?
I drove around mindlessly and found myself at a home improvement store. Before I knew it, I had new locks for Stacy’s front door, a reinforced deadbolt, chain and a security system. Apparently I
was headed to Stacy’s to do some security upgrades.
Stacy’s place was a disaster. I thanked my subconscious for bringing me unknowingly to her apartment, there was no way she could come home from the hospital to this mess. I pushed past the crime scene tape and took in the room. I had to block out the images that assaulted my memory when I saw the outline of Stacy’s body where she had been laying on the ground.
I found her cleaning supplies under the kitchen sink and got to work scrubbing the floors first. There was so much blood everywhere and there was no telling who’s it was. Probably a little bit of everyone’s. I was able to get all the blood out of her hardwood flooring, but her carpet was destroyed. I was down on my knees pulling up the carpet several hours later when Joe walked in.
“Uh, whatcha doin', buddy?” Joe asked casually as he strolled in with his hands in his pockets. He’d always had a way of looking at ease even in a tense situation. It calmed those around him and added to his appeal. I’d missed his annoyingly calm persona.
“What’s it look like?” I replied sarcastically. He smirked at me and I couldn’t help but return his smile with my own. It felt good to smile. I wasn’t sure my lips could even move in that direction anymore, but it was nice to lose the perpetual frown I’d been wearing. “Well? You just gonna stand there, pretty boy, or are you gonna help?”
Joe chuckled as he made his way over to my tool box and got to work.
Two days later Joe and I had finished replacing the flooring and started working on the walls. There were several holes from where things had been yanked violently off the walls or where bodies had collided with the drywall. Joe made me go home the day before to shower and change. Only then did it dawn on me how horrible I must have looked and smelled.
When Joe and I wrapped up the major part of the repairs on the third day, Adalyn, Ian and Carrie showed up with pizzas and beer. A pang of guilt came over me at the thought of Stacy sitting in the hospital recovering while we were in her apartment, but the girls assured me that Stacy was more than fine and was enjoying torturing the nurses.
It was remarkable to see everyone come together to get things ready for Stacy’s return. The girls finished the cleaning while the men worked on installing the security system. All of Stacy’s furniture and decorations all throughout her living room and kitchen had been destroyed, so the girls went on a little shopping spree and the men carried all the heavy furniture up the stairs and helped hang things on the wall.
By the fifth day we were completely done. It looked like an entirely different apartment by the time we finished with it. Despite the new paint color, carpet and furniture it still felt like Stacy. Her friends knew her well and every change we had made was well thought out with Stacy’s preferences in mind.
Joe and Ian had gone to pick up Stacy from the hospital and the girls had hung back to finish up getting everything ready. I had been debating with myself all day as to whether or not I should be there when she returned. I wanted her to be excited and happy to see her new apartment, not panicked from the sight of me. It felt like a hand was literally gripping my heart and threatening to pull it out of my chest, still beating, at the thought of never getting to be near her again. But if the only way for Stacy to be happy and feel safe again was for me to keep my distance, then that’s what I would do.
The whole week I could tell something was on Joe’s mind. He always looked like something was on the tip of his tongue and I didn’t know why he was holding back, but I’d made myself so busy with fixing Stacy’s apartment that I’d been able to distract myself enough not to badger him about it. It felt like everyone was walking on eggshells around me, and they were treating me with a kindness I knew I didn’t deserve. At least I could be thankful in knowing that Stacy had people in her life who truly loved her and would watch after her, even if I couldn’t be one of them.
When the time came for Stacy to return I tried to leave, but the women quickly trapped me in, insisting I stay. I tried to argue, but not for very long because they both made it obvious I didn’t stand a chance. I was growing increasingly nervous about seeing Stacy, seriously doubting whether or not I could keep my composure if she reacted to me again the way she had the last two times. My palms were sweaty and my knee bounced up and down as I sat on the couch, staring at the front door.
The girls kept stealing glances at me and whispering, and I knew they could see how nervous I was. I considered being embarrassed about it, but quickly got over that. Maybe if they could see how much I cared about Stacy then they could help me plead my case. The time for holding in emotions and hiding from the world was gone, and the only way I would be able to get through to Stacy would be to expose myself entirely, no matter how much I hated the vulnerability.
Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly sit still any longer, the door opened and Joe walked in first with his hand around Stacy, with Ian following close behind. Stacy’s eyes widened in surprise and her jaw dropped, the happiness clearly reflected on her face as she took in her new and improved apartment. She looked fragile and smaller somehow, her left arm in a sling and a crutch under her right. A tear slid down her cheek when she spotted Adalyn and Carrie in the kitchen as they ran toward her, helping her hobble further inside.
Stacy still hadn’t noticed me, and I didn’t even realize I had stood up and taken a few steps towards her. It was as if my body was literally drawn to her and I had no control over it. Stacy shifted, her movements stiff, as she looked around and took everything in. When her eyes landed on me she froze and I felt my breath hitch. Suddenly exhaling was a forgotten luxury, my mind afraid to breathe for fear of setting off any kind of reaction from her.
This was it. This was the moment where she would freak out and I would walk away, because I couldn’t hurt her any more. As much as I wanted to tell her everything, about my past, how I really felt about her, my fears and hopes for the future - no matter how badly I wanted that, if she wanted me to leave then I would.
The entire room fell silent and everyone stared, their eyes darting back and forth between the both of us. It felt like time stood still and when her eyes widened just a fraction, I braced myself for the worst.
Chapter 30
Stacy
Joe and Ian babied me all the way from my hospital room to the car and then up to my apartment. It was pissing me off and if I could have lifted one of my arms without wishing I were dead then I would have smacked them upside the back of their heads. I had some injuries, albeit pretty bad ones, but I wasn’t entirely crippled or an invalid. I could fucking walk without them feeling the need to cling to me.
I was in the middle of ranting to Ian about how controlling he was being when Joe opened my apartment door, and what I saw effectively shut me up. For a second I wondered if I was even at the right place. Everything looked brand new. I had expected to come home to a disaster and though I hadn’t admitted it, I was seriously dreading it. As badly as I wanted out of that hospital, I wanted to be at home even less. I couldn’t put out my friends, though. They’d already done so much for me and if they sensed hesitation in me even a little bit, then one of them would insist I stay with them and I couldn’t do that. I just needed to find my big girl panties and go back to my apartment.
I never in my wildest dreams expected to come home to this. Freshly painted walls, each alternating between a coral and a teal. Long curtains with an abstract design hung from my windows. A new couch and armchair sat catty corner to a new flat screen TV. Every inch of my apartment from the lighting to the appliances was literally brand spanking new. I knew it had cost them a fortune and as much as I wanted to bitch and complain about them spending money on me, what they had done was truly touching and it was their way of supporting me. I knew that as much as it made me uncomfortable to not use sarcasm in this moment, I needed to choke it down and allow myself to just feel grateful.
When my eyes landed on Chad my heart, mind and body stilled completely. I had missed him so much and my need to have him close was
all consuming. It literally stole every breath, every thought, every heart beat right out of me and they all drew together and formed a massive ache in my chest that begged me to run to him.
Chad hadn’t been back to see me at the hospital, and once I remembered how I’d reacted to him I really couldn’t blame him. He saved my life in the most literal form of the expression and I owed him more than I could ever repay him.
I faintly registered that everyone was staring, waiting to see what my reaction would be. And like a scene out of some cheesy Lifetime movie, I dropped my crutch and despite how incredibly painful it was, I lunged at Chad and threw myself in his arms. He caught me easily, but as he tried not to grip me too tightly while also not letting me fall, he lost his balance and fell back on to the couch.
He quickly scooped my legs up with his arm under my knees and cradled me tightly to his body. I snuggled my head into his chest and pressed myself up against him as much as I could, needing to be closer. Knowing I would never be close enough. I took in a deep breath through my nose and smelled the familiar scent of soap and manliness that was uniquely Chad.
I turned my head and glanced back over my shoulder to see everyone staring at us, the joy from our reunion showing on their faces. I smiled at them with as much genuine, heartfelt love I could muster. Then told them all to get out.
“I love you guys. Thank you for what you did here. I will properly thank you later, but right now I need to catch up with my man, and you don’t want to be here for what I have planned.”
With one collective groan they all waved goodbye and left the apartment. I turned back to face Chad, still clinging to him as if my life depended on it.
“Stay with me,” I begged, pleading with my eyes.
“Always,” he whispered as he stood and carried me to bed.
Chad carried me into my bedroom, cradling me in his strong arms, and gently laid me on the bed. Never letting go, he managed to lie down next to me, still keeping me in his embrace. I stared directly into his eyes and said his name as sweetly as possible.