by Jenn Hype
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything is perfect,” I half lied. I knew Stacy would feel responsible for getting me in trouble, and I didn’t want to add to her stress, especially since I didn’t have all the facts yet anyway.
I helped Stacy climb back into bed and then joined her, pulling her back to my front and wrapping my arms around her lightly, careful not to hurt her. Only a few seconds later I heard her breathing slow and even out, telling me she had fallen asleep. I laid there awake and let my mind wander, replaying everything that had taken place since meeting Stacy.
I was surprised at how right it felt to have her in my arms, but not in an alarming way. My whole life I hadn’t allowed myself to even entertain the thought of having a real relationship with someone, and Stacy had swooped in and changed everything. I found that all the tension and anger I’d felt around her when I was fighting the connection between us had dissipated, and in it’s place an overwhelming calmness took hold. Whereas I would normally be stressed and worried about my job and what may happen when I went in the next day, instead I was completely at ease. Whatever happened, I would get through it now that I had Stacy. Nothing and no one could come between us, I’d make sure of it.
Chapter 34
Stacy
Chad had to go into work so he dropped me off at Carrie’s. I really wanted to bitch about him treating me like a child who needed a fucking babysitter, but I knew he was just trying to take care of me so for once in my life, I shut my mouth.
“Fetch me a beverage, wench!” I yelled at Carrie as if she were my servant.
“Oh my gosh, you are driving me nuts, Stacy. When will Chad be back to pick you up? I hope it’s soon or I’m going to lock you in a closet.”
“Will you lock me in your ‘special closet’?” I asked, wiggling my eyebrows up and down.
“Shut up, Stacy! You will not speak of my special closet ever again.” Carrie didn’t embarrass easily, but her closet was a sensitive subject. She blushed as she threw a water bottle at my head.
“Careful, slut! I’m injured here. You can’t just throw shit at me!” I winced as I picked the bottle up off the floor. I’d just barely blocked her throw with a pillow or it would have drilled me in the face. Carrie dramatically plopped down on the other end of the couch and laid her head back, staring at the ceiling. “What’s on your mind, sugarplum?”
She turned her head to look at me, and I knew without her speaking exactly what she was thinking about. I gave her a knowing smile and she threw a pillow at me.
“Quit reading my mind, Stacy. It’s annoying.”
“I wouldn’t have to if you’d just tell me what’s going on. I’m assuming it has to do with Joe. Don’t think that just because we haven’t hung out much lately that I don’t know you’ve been spending time with him.” Her eyes widened and I couldn’t help but laugh, causing her to throw another pillow at me.
“Dammit, woman! Quit throwing shit at me! He didn’t tell me; I can just tell by the way you guys are around each other. Joe is harder to read, but you can’t hide anything from me Carrie, you know that. So are you going to fill me in?”
“Not yet,” she mumbled, fiddling with a loose thread on the blanket she had draped over her lap. I felt like a shitty friend for being so wrapped up in my own stuff lately and not knowing what was going on, but Carrie didn’t share easily, so I didn’t push her. Joe was a good guy, so whatever was going on, I trusted him to take care of her. Truthfully, I worried more about Joe than Carrie. Although, if anyone could handle Carrie’s issues, it would probably be him.
“Why did Chad have to go to the station? Isn’t he off for another couple of days?” Carrie asked as she flipped through the channels on the TV, trying to find something for us to watch.
“I don’t know, he said he had a meeting with his captain, but he was acting kind of weird. Something is up and he didn’t want me to know.”
Carrie looked at me like I’d just told her that my vagina was the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
“What?” I asked her, my words mumbled as I chewed a big mouthful of popcorn.
“You didn’t make him explain?”
“No, if he wants me to know, he’ll tell me.” Carrie’s jaw dropped open. “Stop looking at me like that,” I said, throwing a handful of my popcorn at her. “I’m capable of being patient and reasonable.”
Carrie scoffed but didn’t say anything. She just shook her head and turned her attention back to the TV.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” I announced. Carrie’s phone chirped and she just nodded her head at me as she checked it. She turned her head and tried to hide her smile, but I caught a glimpse of it. Yep, something was definitely up.
I walked down the hall but instead of going left into the guest bathroom, I made a right into her bedroom. Carrie’s place was fairly small even though she could afford a mansion if she wanted. Between the money her dad had left her and her successful dance studio, she made more than enough to live somewhere at least twice the size of her current house. Carrie had always been pretty modest, though.
I wandered across the room, trying to be quiet as I went for her special closet, only it was locked. “Dammit!” I yelled, jiggling the handle.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay!?” Carrie yelled. “Dammit, Stacy, stop trying to get in my closet.”
“Why is it locked?”
“Because last time you got in it I couldn’t get you to leave. You’re such an addict, it sucks you in like a vortex, and as much as I love you, that was a very disturbing week for me that I really don’t want to relive.”
“Ugh, you are such a prude,” I whined before plopping down on her bed. Carrie rolled her eyes at me but laid down next to me. We both stared up at the ceiling, neither of us speaking, lost in our own thoughts for several minutes.
My thoughts drifted to Chad and I couldn’t help but wonder what was happening and why he’d acted so off this morning. I didn’t get to think about it long, though, because soon both Chad and Joe came barreling into Carrie’s bedroom.
“Sup, guys?” I asked as Chad came around and pressed a kiss to my temple. I caught a glimpse of Joe’s smirk and snuck a look at Carrie, and much to my surprise, she was blushing. The urge to embarrass her was strong, but I fought it. Thankfully, Joe did it for me.
“Well, well, well. What have we walked into. Two beautiful women lying in bed. Only you ladies have entirely too many clothes on. Here, let me help you with that,” he joked as he went for the hem of Carrie’s thin silk cami. I expected her to flip out, but instead she laughed and then fell into a fit of giggles as Joe tickled her.
“Alright, you two, wait until we get out of here,” Chad said, scooping me up into his arms. I was going to forget how to use my legs if he kept carrying me everywhere, but it felt too good being in his arms for me to complain.
Joe was straddling Carrie as she laughed hysterically, neither of them noticing us leave the room. Hmmmm... very interesting.
I turned my attention back to Chad as he carried me out to his Jeep. “Everything okay at work?”
“Actually...not really,” Chad said as he lowered me onto the seat. “Let’s go grab a bite to eat and I’ll explain.”
“This is such bullshit!”
“Keep your voice down, Stacy. It’s fine.”
“Like hell it is! I can’t believe they are doing this. You’re suspended? For saving me? On what planet does that make sense? Would they have just preferred I died instead of you kicking some guys’ ass? What the hell?”
Chad took my hand in his, rubbing circles with his thumb, an effort to calm me down that would most certainly not work. I was riled up.
“It’s not that. They are claiming it was police brutality. I was off duty and beat the man within an inch of his life. That combined with my dad’s criminal history puts the department in a tough spot.”
“What does your dad have to do with anything? He beat his own family, not criminals who were t
rying to rape innocent victims. This is such bullshit,” I huffed, pushing my plate away, wishing I could chuck it across the room.
“Stacy, you need to eat. You haven’t touched your food,” Chad said, letting go of my hand and gently pushing my plate back in front of me.
“I’m not hungry. I lost my appetite,” I said, crossing my arms. I was so fucking livid. “I’m sorry Chad. This is all my fault.”
“It’s really not, Stacy. If I could do it over again, the only thing I would do differently is I probably would have finished the job. That asshole deserved what he got for trying to hurt you. I will never regret protecting you. So don’t you for one second think this is your fault.”
I couldn’t help but feel guilty, but looking at Chad’s face, the stress and exhaustion clearly taking a toll on him, I knew I had to keep that guilt to myself. I needed to be strong for him, not turn the situation around to be about me. Guilt wouldn’t accomplish anything.
“So what do we do?” I asked, forcing myself to take a bite of my food. It had gotten cold a long time ago, but forcing the disgusting eggs down my throat was worth it when Chad’s shoulders visibly relaxed a little just because I was eating. He should be worried about himself and his career, not my damn appetite. Stubborn, selfless man.
“Nothing we can do. There’s a hearing in a few weeks where I’ll get to plead my case, but it most likely won’t do any good. Once they make up their mind, there really isn’t any changing it.”
“So what could happen? Could you lose your job?”
“Possibly, but most likely if they don’t just drop it then I’ll just be forced into early retirement.”
“Well, this just sucks,” I pouted, making Chad chuckle. “I just…” I trailed off, wondering if I should even voice my concern. It was a selfish thing to worry about, but things with Chad were still so new and I was terrified something would screw everything up again.
“What, Stacy?” Ever since coming home from the hospital, Chad was almost an entirely different person. He was patient and gentle, always calm and in control. The loose cannon I’d become accustomed to seeing was gone and I almost wondered if I’d just imagined it all. His voice held so much tenderness and love when he spoke to me that it made me question my sanity.
“I know it’s selfish, but I’m afraid if you lose your job you will resent me for it. Maybe not right away, but eventually. I know how much your job means to you, and you might not do it intentionally, but there could come a day when you end up regretting me.” I hung my head, embarrassed and feeling vulnerable. I knew he would reassure me, but he couldn’t know the future. He couldn’t know if his feelings would change down the road.
“You’re in my life for good now, Stacy. Now that I have you, nothing is going to change that. Of course I can’t promise you that I’ll never get angry with you. I will undoubtedly get angry and frustrated and just flat out pissed at you, probably daily.” I narrowed my eyes at him and he laughed, taking my hand in his. “We’re both too stubborn and temperamental to not fight all the time, but I’d rather fight with you every day the rest of my life than go back to the hollow, lonely life I lead before I met you. You bring me to life, Stacy. So even when you’re obnoxious and annoying as hell, I wouldn’t have you any other way. And nothing will ever make me regret saving you that day. My job isn’t what makes me happy, you are. I just cared so much about my job because it’s all I had, but not anymore. It doesn’t matter what I do for a living, as long as you’re with me.”
My heart expanded just like the Grinch, and I felt warmth spread through me. A solitary tear escaped my eye and I quickly swiped it away. “That was some really sappy shit, Stevens,” I teased, internally blaming my pain meds for making me so damn sensitive. I was turning into quite the crybaby.
Chapter 35
Stacy
The next two weeks passed by in a blur. Every day I regained some energy as my injuries healed. As much as I loved my newly decorated apartment, it made me too uneasy to live there. Not because I was afraid, it just brought back the memories of the attack, so I’d been staying with Chad. He constantly complained about all my “girly shit” taking over his house, but he didn’t hide his grin as well as he thought he did when he was whining. He loved having me there, girly shit and all.
A few days after I got home from the hospital the dentist I worked for asked me to come in. He sat me down and told me he was retiring. I wasn’t surprised. He should have retired years ago. But that also meant I didn’t have a job to go back to. The stress of both Chad and I not knowing where we stood with working was there, but we were able to ignore it. Chad had bought his house with cash, fixing it up after it had gone into foreclosure. My lease with my apartment was almost up and Chad hadn’t asked me to move in, but considering I was pretty much living there anyway, I thought maybe he would soon. I hinted about the subject, but he never took the bait. It was difficult to not just come right out and ask him, but for once in my life I was going to be a girl about things and let him take the lead. It was driving me nuts, but I was managing.
It took some coaxing, but about a week after returning from the hospital I finally convinced Chad to have sex with me. It didn’t do wonders for my self esteem that I had to practically beg him, but I knew it was just because he was afraid of hurting me. I was enjoying all the hand and mouth play, but I was ready for the real thing. So one day when he ran to the store to get some household items we were running out of, I put on a tiny little scrap of a teddy that Adalyn had brought me. She whined the whole time about not wanting to be involved in my sex life, but being the good friend she was, she finally caved and went to VS and got me some slutty lingerie.
When Chad came back and saw me spread eagle on the bed in nothing but ridiculously high stilettos and my sheer, lacy teddy, he was finally unable to resist. He was gentle and sweet and completely opposite of our first time at the club, and I found the intimacy made it better. I’d never ‘made love’ to a man before, but that was definitely what we were doing. He loved my body over and over, until I was so loved I fell into a love induced coma.
After that we weren’t able to keep our hands off of each other. We spent days not even getting out of bed except to shower and eat, and while I was loving every minute of it, I knew it was going to end soon. Chad’s hearing was coming up, and eventually I needed to start looking for another job. Most of the time we were both able to pretend those issues weren’t weighing on us, but every now and then Chad would start to close off and shut down, and I had to force him to come back to me.
He was used to holding things in and fighting his demons alone, but I wasn’t going to let him do that anymore. I was prepared for a fight every time, expecting him to push me away, but after some gentle pushing he would finally confide in me. I felt horrible hearing how stressed and worried he was about his job, but I did my best not to show it. I knew he needed me to be strong for him, and so I forced myself to have a positive attitude and not let him know how incredibly guilty I felt for getting him in this shitty situation.
We still fought almost constantly, but what would start out angry would turn into play. One minute we’d be screaming at each other over who gets to control the remote, the next minute we’d be rolling around on the ground tickling each other and laughing. One morning I tried to cook breakfast, which of course went over horribly because I’m a terrible cook, but when he tried to take the spatula from me I refused to relinquish control of the kitchen. Our physical struggle over the spatula turned into a food fight, and a half hour later we were wearing our breakfast instead of eating it, and ended up having to shower and go out for food. Which of course didn’t even happen until lunch time because we got a little distracted in the shower.
Time passed both painfully slow and sickeningly fast. So many things were up in the air, and the one stressing me the most was my living situation. I hadn’t brought it up in a while, mostly because I was afraid he would tell me he didn’t want me in his house once I was healed, but I
’d become so comfortable that it felt like my home. Several times I opened my mouth to ask him about it, but quickly bit back the question, not wanting to add to his stress with his deposition in only a few days.
Adalyn had cut back to part time at work because her pregnancy made her so sick and miserable, so she would come visit with me while Chad would go to the gym to work off some nervous energy. Carrie would join us as much as she could, and it was a nice break from the constant testosterone surrounding me day in and day out staying with Chad.
I’d never seen Addy so emotional, but everything made her cry. I felt bad for Ian, I would go crazy if I had to deal with her ups and downs constantly, but I knew he didn’t mind. Carrie was distant in a way I couldn’t put my finger on, and every time I tried to ask her about it she just brushed it off or changed the subject. If I had any idea at all what was causing her behavior I would have pried answers out of her, but I was clueless and it was pissing me off. Lucky for her there was so much else going on in my life that I let it go, but I was determined to figure it out once we got through Chad’s work crap.
Finally, the day came for Chad’s deposition and I could shit a brick I was so nervous.
“Stacy, you’re making me nuts with all your bouncing around. You’re like a Chihuahua on crack.”
“I can’t help it! I’m losing it, man!” I’d been dressed and ready to go since six in the morning and his hearing wasn’t until four in the afternoon. I was literally losing my mind.
“You sure you want to wear that?” I looked down at my outfit and looked back at Chad inquisitively.
“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”
“Well your dress is a little short and your heels are pretty impractical. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
“What do you think I’m going to do while you’re in there? Run a marathon? No, I need to look my best and this is my ‘hot shit’ outfit. I figure if all else fails I can either seduce one of them into letting you go or I can stab one in the heart with the spike of my heel. Either way, this outfit is necessary.”