Caught Up in You

by Colee Firman

  “Yeah…” He cleared his throat and the door opened again. “I should go get dressed.”

  “Ok…” I caught a hint of something odd in his voice. I looked out at him as he started to leave. “Hey, is everything—” The door bell rang and I swore under my breath. “That’s probably Livvy and I’m not even close to ready.”

  “I’ll go let her in,” he said, giving me a little smile. “Stop downstairs to say goodbye before you go...”

  Before I could reply he pulled the door closed. He seemed like something was bothering him. I’d confessed to killing my own mother the night before. The possibility he had time to think things over and was having second thoughts about me crept to the edge of my mind. I pushed it away and searched for another reason. That was just too much to bear.

  More than likely he was bummed I never told him I was leaving for the night. It wasn’t intentional. It just never came up and we were pretty busy doing other things—things that had my hips and thighs and other parts aching.

  I was just wrapping a towel around myself when Livvy burst through the bathroom door. She was wearing a tight dark green dress with heels. Her shoulder length blond hair was curled with bobby pins holding the front back from her face. “You’re seriously not even ready?”

  “It was a late night,” I said, wiping the steam from the mirror. “Can you please grab my pink bag from the closet and toss something in it for me to wear tomorrow?”

  “Sure…” Livvy rolled her eyes and walked away. “Did Myles say anything about Tom after we left last night?”

  “No,” I said, raking a brush through my wet hair, “why?”

  “There was nothing wrong with Wyatt’s truck.” Livvy walked up to the door holding my pink bag. “When I called Tom out on it he said he’d just wanted to go home.”

  “That’s weird…” I opened the cabinet and pulled out my makeup and blow dryer. “When we were outside the furniture store yesterday Tom told Myles he wanted to talk to him.”

  “Yeah,” she said, turning back toward my bedroom. “I think it was about Kyle. Tom was hoping you two would hook up.”

  I plugged in the blow dryer but paused before turning it on. “Why does Tom give a shit who I date?”

  “Because of me,” she said, shouting from my closet. “My reputation for getting bored with guys quick has him on edge.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “So he thinks if Kyle and I are together it’ll give you a reason to stick around?”

  Livvy walked up behind me and met my eyes in the mirror. “Guess so.”

  I turned on the blow dryer, still laughing to myself. Tom had no idea how hooked Livvy was on him. Next time I had him alone I really needed to ease the poor guy’s mind a little bit.

  I spent the next twenty minutes putting on make-up and fixing my hair while listening to Livvy stress about our current lack of employment situation. The entire time I couldn’t shake the way Myles looked at me as he left the bathroom. Maybe he and Tom really did have an argument. That would explain why something seemed off. I guess it was possible he was worried I’d be pissed at him once I found out. Guys could be such morons. If they had an issue, I wasn’t getting in the middle of it.

  I plucked a short black strapless dress from a hanger in my closet and grabbed a pair of black platform heels. Once I was dressed, I put on a pair of silver hoop earrings and a few black and silver bangle bracelets. I took a quick look in the mirror and figured that was good enough. The only guy I was interested in impressing was downstairs.

  At the bottom of the steps I held my bag and my car keys out to Livvy. “Hold these—I just need to say bye to Myles.”

  “Just hurry your ass up,” she said, grabbing them from me. “You’re not gonna die if you’re away from him for one night.”

  I pressed my hand to his open door and gave it a little push. “Myles?”

  “Hang on…” A few seconds later he walked to the door as he was pulling a t-shirt over his head. He stopped and let his eyes run up and down my body. “You look—fuck, Brant...”

  He smelled like soap and cologne, a simple combination I never knew could have such an intoxicating effect. “I hope that’s good because it’s too late to change now,” I said, reaching up and brushing loose pieces of his damp hair away from his face.

  “It’s good,” he said, resting his fingertips on my hips. “Too fucking good…”

  The same distant, almost sad look was on his face. I didn’t want to leave him suddenly—not until I knew what was going on. With heels on it wasn’t as much of a stretch to reach him. I pushed up and brushed my lips against his. “You ok?”

  “Just surprised I guess,” he whispered, pulling me against him. “I wasn’t expecting you to be gone tonight.”

  The tension in my shoulders finally eased up. Thank god that’s all it was. I couldn’t take it if he’d changed his mind about us. “I’m sorry I didn’t mention it,” I said, dragging my fingers along his freshly shaved cheeks. “—I honestly forgot.”

  “I understand—finding time to fit in everything we’ve needed to say hasn’t been easy.” His body stilled as he held me for few moments. I didn’t realize he’d been holding his breath until he exhaled roughly before pressing his lips to my ear. “I’ll miss you...”

  The tenderness in his voice put a knot in my chest—again, I really didn’t wanna go. “I’ll make it up to you tomorrow…”

  “Oh my god,” Livvy said, pushing the screen door open. “It’s one night—get over it and c’mon.”

  Myles pressed his lips to the side of my neck and then let his hands fall to his sides. “Be good.”

  “Always,” I said, backing away. I reached for my bag and keys from Livvy and then smiled at him. “I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?”

  Myles took a long look at me before waving and going back into his apartment.

  Myles

  I didn’t know it was possible to be physically sick from guilt, regret, sadness, and all the other fucked up feelings that plowed me over once Brantley left. It was though. Every time I thought about what I was doing to her I puked my guts out.

  Nothing played out the way I wanted it to. I was planning on telling her everything as soon as we woke up. I was prepared to beg her to understand if necessary. There was just no time between when I found out she was leaving for the night and when Livvy was laying on the goddamn doorbell.

  My only option was to let her go without saying anything. I couldn’t drop the news I was leaving on her with her friend standing there. By waiting until the last minute I’d backed myself into a corner and screwed us both over.

  I spent the afternoon packing and then went out to dinner with my sister and parents. I couldn’t eat or hold a conversation with them. They just laughed it off, saying I was worked up about leaving the country. They were right but not for the reasons they thought.

  It was after eleven when I got home. I had a few things to take care of for work before I could make a pointless attempt at sleeping. I was online less than a minute before Pete popped up on my monitor.

  “Hey, slacker. I didn’t expect you to be working tonight,” he said.

  I shrugged. “You were wrong.”

  “I thought you’d be spending every minute you had left there with your girl.”

  “Wrong again.”

  Pete was quiet but I could hear him drumming his fingers on his desk. It was something he’d been doing since we were kids when he was thinking. Before he could say something that was going to piss me off, I stopped what I was doing and looked into the camera. “Things didn’t work out and I don’t wanna talk about it.”

  “She won’t wait for you? You told her you were leaving and she—”

  “Pete,” I said, turning back to the other monitor. “I don’t want to talk about her.”

  “Ok, listen,” he said, holding his hands up, “maybe when you get back she’ll—”

  “Stop!” I grabbed the first thing I could reach and launched it across the room. “I fucki
ng lost her and it’s—” I dropped my head the second I felt moisture building in the corners of my eyes. I was on the brink of crying like a little bitch over my own fuck up. “It’s over, man—please, I can’t talk about her.”

  Pete lowered his head and sighed. “Myles…I’m sorry—really.”

  “Me too…” I ran my hands over my face and went back to working.

  After the best sex of my life with the first girl I ever loved, I was willingly blowing everything to hell. Brantley was going to come home tomorrow to an empty house. The girl shared her darkest secrets with me before sharing her body and I was just going to be gone. She’d never forgive me.

  Someone capable of doing that didn’t deserve her or her forgiveness. I deserved exactly what I was going to get—a fourteen hour flight that would put seven thousand miles between us. At least from there I wouldn’t be able to hurt her again.

  In so many ways I wished I’d never met her. I was fine keeping to myself and biding my time until I could get out of Baylor Grove. The goddamn girl fucked up my entire plan. After knowing her—loving her, I was never going to be the same.

  Twenty-Three

  Brantley

  Five months later.

  Christmas in Baylor Grove was my absolute favorite time of year. All the decorations and the collections for the local charities reminded me so much of what it was like when I was a child—when things were still good.

  The day after Thanksgiving each year, my dad would go crazy with the Christmas decorations outside our house. Our neighbors hated it but the boys and I couldn’t get enough. Dad said if it made me and the twins happy then he didn’t care what anyone else said.

  My mom, before she started taking a shit ton of pills and lost her mind, was big into the community outreach programs around Chicago. My brothers and I always spent part of Christmas day at a soup kitchen volunteering with her.

  If there was one thing I had to admit even after what she’d done, it was that Mom started off as a kind human being. Life has a funny way of shaping you into what it wants you to be regardless of how much you try to fight it. I was living proof of that.

  It was three days before Christmas—my annual visit to my dad in prison. It was always a tough day—one I both dreaded and couldn’t wait for. I loved my dad. I’d forgiven him for what he did a long time ago. Everyone has flaws and his was greed.

  Seeing him was painful—leaving when it was time to go was worse. Not seeing him at all would be easier, but I couldn’t turn my back on him. We shared a bond that could never be broken. We were the only ones who truly understood the loss we felt every time we thought about my little brothers. He’s also the only one who hated my mother as much as I did.

  With Jen’s help, my father was transferred to a federal prison in Pennsylvania. After what happened to our family, the court didn’t put up any resistance when she made the case that he should be moved closer to me.

  It was still a two hour drive, but much better than a flight to Texas where he’d originally been locked up. For the first time Jen wasn’t coming with me. David was on-call through Christmas for the hospital so he couldn’t leave Boston. They didn’t want to spend their first Christmas as a married couple apart. I didn’t blame them.

  Just like every year, I was stripped of all my personal items, searched, and questioned before being led back to the large cafeteria type room were the inmates were waiting for their visitors. I always hated seeing the really little kids being dragged in there to see someone they probably didn’t even remember. That seemed like it was more for the prisoners benefit than the child’s.

  Perhaps I was a little bitter, but I guess in my opinion, if they were so worried about spending the holidays with their little ones, then they wouldn’t have done whatever they did to get their ass locked up in the first place. That was my hypocritical thought for the day as I hurried over to my inmate father’s outstretched arms.

  “There’s my girl,” he said, scooping me up and lifting me off my feet as he hugged me. “I almost didn’t recognize you.”

  “I haven’t changed, dad.” I kissed his cheek as he released me from his bear hug. “You’ve gotten a little greyer though.”

  “It’s silver.” He pulled out a chair and motioned for me to sit.

  I dropped down and scooted up to the table, smiling at him. He was right, it was silver that streaked his dark hair. At fifty-one, he was just as handsome as always. He was tall and still well-built. He had a commanding presence about him. People were just naturally drawn to follow him. That’s what always made him such a good businessman.

  “No Jen this time?” he asked, sitting down across from me.

  I shook my head. “She stayed in Boston with David.”

  He reached over and covered my hand with his. “Why haven’t heard from you since June?”

  Straight to the point—my dad never changed. “I’m sorry,” I said, letting out a deep sigh. “I’ve been busy, I guess.”

  “Fill me in.” He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. “Start with school. How’s it going?”

  “It’s not…” I braced myself for his reaction—it wasn’t going to be pretty. “I didn’t enroll in classes this year.”

  “Why?” His lips went into a tight straight line as he waited for my response.

  “The pub closed and I had to find somewhere else to work,” I said. “A friend got me a job in the office at his company. Once in a while I bartend at the restaurant where my friend Livvy waitresses when they’re shorthanded. You remember me and Jen talking about Livvy, right?”

  “Yes,” he said, drilling into me with his hazel eyes. “What does that have to do with you not going to school?”

  “Everything, Dad.” I should’ve known my attempt to reroute the topic wouldn’t work on him. He was the master at tactics like that. “I just don’t have time.”

  “Your friend who got you the office job,” he said, “is he taking up the free time you should be using for school?”

  “His name is Wyatt Dempsey and we’re not dating,” I said, shaking my head as though that was the most absurd idea ever thought up. “He’s just a friend I met when I worked at the pub. I rent a room in his parents’ house.” Mentioning his mom and dad didn’t actually live there anymore wasn’t happening. “Livvy lives there too.”

  His head slowly nodded which was never a good sigh. “So you’ve dropped out of school and you’re living in a boarding house?”

  I groaned in frustration. “It’s not like—”

  “Brantley,” he said, pointing at me. “As soon as the new semester starts I want you back in school. Do you understand?”

  “Yes.” There was absolutely no arguing with my father. He drained every ounce of adult out of me and replaced it with the same fear I had at sixteen when I even thought about breaking my curfew or coming home with anything other than straight A’s on my report card.

  “Good.” The stern expression faded into a soft smile as his eyes settled on the envelope I’d brought in with me. “What’s that?”

  I pushed it across the table to him. “Open it.”

  My dad picked up the envelope and examined the outside before carefully opening it. He had a knack for dragging things out—especially when it came time to open gifts. It used to drive my brothers crazy.

  “Pictures?” He pulled out the stack of a dozen photos and began looking at each one. “I don’t remember these…”

  “Jen took them when she babysat us while you and—you were in London. We found them when we were packing.”

  “Five years ago…” He smiled as he flipped to the next picture. “Where was this taken?”

  I leaned forward and looked at the photo of the twins and me playing in the water. “The beach at Lake Michigan.”

  My father and I talked for three hours—right up until they gave the ten minute warning that visiting time was ending. That was always the hardest part—the reason I didn’t come more often. Leaving him there tore me up inside.
I knew watching me leave was just as painful for him.

  “I don’t like you driving all this way alone,” he said, picking up the pictures and placing them back in the envelope.

  “I didn’t actually come alone,” I said, smiling at him nervously.

  “Someone drove you?” His eyebrows pinched together. “Who?”

  “The guy I’m dating…” I’d been trying to find a way to tell him the entire time we’d been talking. I knew if I didn’t do it, the next time he talked to Jen she’d probably tell him. “It’s been five months.”

  “A boyfriend,” he said, tapping the edge of the envelope on the table. “Tell me about him. Where does he go to college?”

  The painful inquisition was beginning. “He actually finished college already,” I said, pasting a big smile on my face. “He’s a—”

  “Finished? How old is he?”

  “He’s a couple—well, a few years older than me,” I said, swallowing hard, “—eight, actually…”

  He slapped the envelope with the pictures down on the table. “You are not—” He looked around and lowered his voice. “You’re not dating a twenty-eight year old man, Brantley!”

  I glanced over at the closest guard who had his eyes glued to us. “Dad, he’s not just some random guy. He’s David’s cousin. Jen’s known him for years.”

  My father seemed completely unimpressed. “I don’t care if he’s the son of the god damn President. He’s too old for you.”

  “He knows everything about our lives—my past, and he doesn’t care.”

  “Of course he doesn’t care!” He clenched his teeth and leaned forward, anger raging in his eyes. “He’s dating a beautiful twenty year old girl—your past is the last thing he cares about.”

  I reached across the table and took his hand. “Dad, it’s not—”

  “Visiting time is over,” the guard shouted. “Inmates, line up.”

  “We’re not done talking about this—not by a long shot,” he said, standing up. “Tell Jen she’ll be hearing from me.”

  “It’s not as bad as you think…” I sighed and got up from my seat, hugging him quickly while the guards urged everyone to exit. “I love you, dad. Merry Christmas.”