Remnant Tails

by Fey Truet

  “What! No! N-not that!” I tried, but this entire situation was stifling.

  Embarrassed, I conceded. “It was the uniforms. Like the one you have on now. Yellow. I never imagined that they’d hold a fixation like they did. I’ve never been off my path before.”

  I looked at that boy and sighed. “How very shameful it is.”

  The boy was quiet before saying, “I thought there were schools on the outer levels?”

  “Huh? There is in all but the outermost levels where I live.”

  That sounded right. The fourth level, where I lived, and the rural level below it were the only ones without active schools. Or shells, which was a dead giveaway of my caste upon scrutiny.

  “What?” he asked, and I realized I had confused him.

  “I mean, there used to be, but they’ve long been out of session. And they weren’t so formal that they made their students wear uniforms, but whatever unfussy thing they could muster up. But I guess I’ll never know. They closed them to protect the children from the Dog’s Plague and won’t ever reopen because the disease still runs rampant among those parts. It’s why I’m glad my brother is so fortunate. He won’t be denied instruction here. Hm?”

  I looked up at him.

  “Uh. What?” he asked, flustering as I inspected him.

  I thought everyone knew about the Dog’s Plague? After all, it did ravage all of Oeffing, striking fear in all who hadn’t suffered it.

  “Are you new here?” I asked, which would explain a few things.

  “Sorta. I come here a lot. This time I’m here for a while. For school. But I’m glad you’re finally asking me questions. For a moment it felt like I was only being used. Allow me to introduce myself. William Sunbelt of First Medina.”

  He bowed and took my hand, kissing it before he returned it.

  “Uh, Emare Tales,” I rushed out, quivering with the effort to keep face.

  He just kissed me!!!

  “Then, it’s a pleasure to meet your acquaintance Ms. Emare. Emare? Such a beautiful name. Does it mean anything here?” he asked.

  I shook my head, hoping it’d fan down my embarrassment before I lit aflame.

  “I don’t know?” I told him. “I never thought about it? It’s just my name.”

  “Ah, well. This is nice anyway. I thought you despised me for a moment. But it’s great you opened up,” he said, and I realized that I had.

  “Y-Yeah,” I agreed.

  He stared at me, and I turned away pretending not to notice his scrutiny.

  Instead, I turned to a child covered in freckles with hair as orange as the last of the burning sky. He giggled like the whole world was contained in his tiny body as a finely dressed pair, a man and woman, presumably his parents, each had a hand that swung the boy to and fro. They gaily skipped forward.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, breaking my focus.

  I snapped my attention back to him.

  “Pardon?” I tried not to panic.

  Sometimes people had entire conversations with themselves while I was distracted before them.

  “About earlier. With the guys. I told them to stop. They were convinced you couldn’t hear them, so they kept on. I’m sorry if you heard something… unpleasant. Cedar and Amber and them, well, they’re not bad. Trust me. They just like a good time. I’m just sorry it was at your expense.”

  I looked down without replying. To apologize for others was second nature where I was bred. Still, to be called things like “Pig” and “Ghoul.” It was something I couldn’t let go of when today was the most painful day I’ve had since I let go of my brother.

  “People don’t love,” I said without thinking. “They only separate. Discriminate.”

  “Huh?” he asked.

  “At the end of the book. The boy, now an old man, he never figured out what the love the animals were so proud of was. They said all he had gone through and done was the exact opposite of love. The old man never had children, and he abandoned his mate for an answer he’d never get. It was cruel, but the animals weren’t being selfish, but honest. In fact, it was the boy who was selfish. Especially in his pursuit of the truth right before his eyes. Even so, Father God and Mother Earth and all the animals agreed that the boy could join the Feast for it’d be his last.

  “It didn’t matter, though. Before he could take his first bite he died. His soul rose to God, and God asked, ‘What shall I order of my children regarding your remains.’ The boy says, ‘Let them do as they please for I have enjoyed my feast. I in Heaven have no need of flesh; thus, I leave it for the Feast. Mother Earth smiles and says, ‘That, my son, is love,’ and the story ends.”

  I took a hot breath of cooler air, anger burning my cheeks.

  William was quiet.

  The boy in that story held one thing truly precious. That Stupid Feast.

  His mother, brother, and wife, he put those above all else but his dream, and that, what we called love, was called discrimination by God. It was because the boy only helped them and himself when hundreds were in need before his eyes. Even when they were in need, the boy chose knowledge at the expense of them and many others. He harmed people unnecessarily. Eventually, he abandons all of his loved ones.

  The boy’s “love” led to the harm of the ones he cared for. His discrimination led him to harm others. And all he did was take. Take. Take. Take. Harm. Harm. Harm. With no regard to any other living being. He lived. He didn’t “love.”

  “Are we supposed to harm each other, or endure being harmed? I don’t know and it’s frustrating? Is it wrong to ignore another’s feelings in order to accomplish your own selfish desires? Sometimes the way people treat me makes me want to scream. That feeling is awful, and sometimes I want people to know exactly how it feels. Other times I cringe at the idea of harming another in that way. I don’t know which is right. Is it just because we don’t love?”

  We walked in silence. I didn’t expect him to answer. He probably thought me eccentric: The bizarre ghoul who bared her unwanted feelings to a complete stranger. He’d never want to encounter me again after this, and it was probably for the best.

  “Why can’t we just do both?”

  I looked up at him with wide eyes.

  He shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

  “Sorry. It’s just that story you told was a real comedown. But it’s true. We are selfish. And animals don’t really care about us or the things we cherish most. Neither do most other people, but that’s in a completely different and more selfish way. All we have are the bonds we make in life. I think it’s important to make them no matter what you have to endure. And I think that after you make them, you endure the pain of having them.

  “I think that we are supposed to harm others because our worlds clash and our opinions differ, but I also think we’re supposed to own that harm and help others to get through it. We’re selfish and we’re also vulnerable. Living hurts and it hurts to live. But if we were meant to endure alone, I don’t think there’d be so many of us, so why should we? I think you should be a little more selfish too, but that’s just my opinion.”

  I don’t know what it was just then, but a warm feeling built around his words as they entered deep within me, filling the wedge my soul once resided. Even if God himself told me that answer wasn’t correct, I don’t think it’d matter because it was my perfect answer.

  “Yeah,” I agreed. “Thank you.”

  I looked away, but the feeling smiled from within.

  He turned away as well and scratched the back of his head.

  “Yeah,” he agreed.

  I had my answer. Now I just needed to see my brother.

  The Book at the End

  It was getting dark and the people we ran into came fewer and further in between.

  Just like I was used to.

  Only today, it was different.

  I truly enjoyed William’s company. He was… charming.

  He told jokes that were actually quite silly with context. Althou
gh he teased me for some of my more confused reactions, it wasn’t cruel; it was more a complement to his character. It was a new friendship, dare I say, unlike any I’ve ever known.

  It was fun.

  “I’m sorry,” I laughed, “but that simply makes no sense. How can that possibly be a joke?”

  “Well, for one thing, you’re laughing, the exact function of a joke, and two, jokes don’t have to make sense. The duck crosses the road to get to the other side. It’s funny because jokes aren’t always so obvious and this one is.”

  “That’s ridiculous.” But it was true.

  We turned on another street, and I saw a familiar sign advertising imperial necklaces. I looked up and knew where we were.

  The wide street and houses in the color pattern I’ve repeated in my head so many times before. Right around the block from here was Opticon Place.

  Even though it made me happy, another part of me grew sad. My time with William was setting with the sun, though I wanted it to last longer. My feelings sunk with every step and I grew quieter.

  “So, hey,” William started, sensing my waning enthusiasm, “how old are you?”

  Time being a factor, that felt like the absolute worst thing anyone could ask at the moment, but I still answered.

  “On the 21st of the next month, I’ll turn fifteen.”

  Or is that “might” turn fifteen. Did the dead age? A large pit rose in my belly.

  “What! No way! Really!” he thrilled, much to my surprise. “You’re not going to believe this but that same day will begin my sixteenth year!”

  “What! Y-You don’t say? How uncanny is that? That two people born on the same day should meet like this?” I eagerly wondered.

  The chances were too unlikely.

  He stopped, and I followed suit, a little energized. I smiled at him, wondering what else I’d learn before we went our separate ways.

  “Maybe it’s fate,” he said, and with two steps he closed most of the distance between us, and a different feeling animated this body of mine. Animated and froze it where I stood.

  William took my eyes with his own, then turned away, scratching the back of his head again. I watched every movement as if I were entranced by his spell.

  “I know we just met, but I don’t think it’d be fair if things went back to how they were before today.”

  My brow furrowed. “How things were before?”

  How were things before today?

  William caught my eye again, and this time they held taut.

  “Before we met. Before today, I don’t think we’ve ever even seen each other. Even if we have, we never noticed, even if I couldn’t fathom how not. Could you stand it if we never saw each other again?”

  His eyes bore a pleading path into my own.

  I didn’t even have to think about it.

  I could never see Mother or Father again, although I knew they once existed and I cared for them. And Pohlin. It’s torn me so to be away from him. More so when he told me he never wanted to see me again. And Scarlet. It was heartbreaking to think I’d never see her, or my friends, Celia and Manna.

  I shook my head.

  “Uh-uh,” I told him which brought sunlight to his face.

  He smiled, and with unspoken permission, he hugged me.

  “Then would you meet me tomorrow?” he asked.

  It was a perfectly innocent question, but it built an absolute horror in my chest.

  “Tomorrow. “Tomorrow.” “Tomorrow.”

  That one word sent me spiraling down a dark tunnel filled with fear to no end. I couldn’t bear to think about tomorrow, but the thought occurred anyway.

  There is no tomorrow.

  I pushed away from him, once again holding my feelings at bay. I wasn’t a normal person. I sold my soul to keep a promise I’d break before this day was over. I couldn’t afford promises, or even a life.

  I could no longer look William in the eye.

  “Ah. It looks like I’ve found my way thanks to you. I should be on.”

  I plastered a smile on my face and held the cake out in front of me. “I’ll return this and be gone. Thank you, Dear William.”

  He was silent, and I didn’t dare look.

  Finally, he asked, “What is it?” his voice filled with concern.

  The pit grew larger in my chest. I paled at those words being spoken.

  There is no tomorrow.

  “Nothing,” I lied. “But it’s been long a day, and it’s stretching late. Unfortunately, I have a very important engagement I can’t afford to miss. I wish this day could last but… it just won’t. Won’t you take your cake from me, or are your arms still tired?”

  Pain passed through his eyes, but he still smiled.

  “Too bad for you, they still are. Why don’t you take it with you? I prefer vanilla anyway. I won’t argue with you on this, lest I make you late for your engagement. You too should follow suit.”

  I looked down once more, my face heating.

  “No. And, once again, thank you. You’ll never know how much your kindness means to me. Truly.”

  “Yeah,” he said almost reluctantly. “Anytime.”

  My heart jerked at that word.

  Time.

  With that, I turned and headed for the Setes residence. After a few steps, I heard, “Wait!”

  My breath caught in my throat as I stopped where I stood.

  “You didn’t answer my question! Will you! Tomorrow would you meet me here? At five, the same as today?”

  I couldn’t hold my breath any longer so I exhaled deeply.

  “If it’s possible. Then tomorrow at five, nothing could stop me,” I told him.

  “If? That isn’t good enough! Promise me, if you’re serious! I won’t take half an answer!”

  I felt a swell of anger at him. Impatient, I turned around.

  “If you won’t take my best answer then what am I to do! What do you want from me!” I yelled, despite not having any right to.

  “I want you to make a promise right here or to burn it down before I grow any hope!”

  “You’re impossible!” More like incredibly frustrating.

  “Then burn me down, Emare Tales! But don’t leave this hanging. ‘If’ isn’t any good.”

  “If” he says. “If” is all any of us have to offer. If there was a chance to meet him I would. I really would.

  I took a deep breath to resolve myself. I couldn’t meet him tomorrow and I had to tell him.

  “Fine!” I said.

  I turned back around. “I promise!” I said.

  Then I ran!

  I promise “if.”

  If.

  If only.

  ~~~

  “This is the last payment?” Ann Setes asked me coldly, strands of her shoulder length blond hair flying in her face.

  Blond like Pohlin’s.

  “Yes,” I answered, trying to see around her as I used to do. “There is also an extra key and the deed to the house in his name.”

  Behind the red of her shirt was a pot-bellied middle-aged man, dressed slap-dashed as he stood threateningly in the background.

  “And it’s all there,” I confirmed to him, although he made ten times as much.

  I’ve never given them less than the amount agreed upon, yet I was always treated like a con.

  Ann looked around, checking for anyone who might possibly spot us. It was as if we were engaging in some underhanded business.

  I, on the other hand, lingered as long as I have in almost two years.

  “If your business here is done then you should go,” Ann hinted.

  I gave her a fearful look. “Yes. But if you remember when I explained my situation to you, then you can understand that tonight is probably my last night to see him. Is he here?” I dared to ask.

  I already knew the Setes weren’t at all fond of me. They were glad Pohlin was done with me.

  “You know very well the boy made his feelings clear to you! He doesn’t want to see you! To misery w
ith you! Close the door, Ma!” Caid Setes said from the living room.

  It was like cold water over my resolve, but it didn’t stop me from jamming my foot in the door to prevent it from closing.

  “He is my brother! The only thing I have left in the world! If there is anything left to be said then I must hear it from him! Whether it be disdain, or animosity, or rejection! Not you! This may very well be our last chance! Or would you forever let it dangle before him that you denied him his last few moments with his only sister.”

  “Sister? Some sister. You dumped him on our steps all those years ago, but not before shaming him by becoming that. You’re no sister. You come here time to time giving him scraps so he won’t hate you, but have you asked yourself how he could love a corpse?”

  “Caid!” Ann Setes snapped, but not for my benefit. She opened the door wider and inspected the neighborhood ever tense. Then she looked at me. “I never got to apologize to my brother, nor he to me,” she said absently.

  “I consider it a blessing the day you dropped Don’s son here and I thank you for that, but he isn’t here right now. He came home earlier and rushed out soon after without a word. We haven’t seen him since,” she explained. “But lately, understandably, he’s been in a mood.”

  My watering eyes searched her face for a lie of any sort and couldn’t find one.

  “Without a word? Did he really need any? He knew that harlot would come here and left. Can’t even be at peace in his own home, the poor boy! His ghost never lets him have any peace. Run off to your grave girl, and be with that witch of a mother. Leave our boys and men in peace.”

  My eyes turned to him, and I saw him clearly through the slits they became.

  He balked.

  “My mother was not a witch you evil snake! How dare you talk about the dead and the pure as if you’re the Almighty yourself! My mother was ten times the person you were and let your tongue be cursed if you so much as speak against my parents again!”

  “You dare speak in those tones in my home when Don wasn’t even your father! I think you should go!” Ann Setes bade me, and she closed the door.