Just What the Doctor Ordered

by Leigh Greenwood

  “And when we don’t tell them, they’ll come up with their own ideas, probably embarrassingly close to the truth.”

  “Your version, not mine.”

  “This is not a matter of versions, Matt.”

  “Yes, it is. Just like we don’t look at the chances of our working something out for the future the same way.”

  “I’ve got a full day’s work ahead of me,” Liz said. “I’ll never get through it if we get into this now.”

  “We can talk about it Wednesday night. What’s your favorite restaurant?”

  “We can’t do this. I know how much money the county pays you, and you can’t afford it.”

  “I have a private trust fund.”

  “Right, left to you by the good people of Gull’s Landing.”

  “I hadn’t thought of that. They might have paid me to leave town.”

  “Matt, be serious.”

  “I am. I want to see you. I want to be with you. I want to touch you, kiss you, hold you in my arms.”

  “I can’t do this,” Liz protested. “I’m going to my office.”

  “You still haven’t given me an answer about Wednesday.”

  She opened the door. “I’ll think about it,” she said as she left.

  He knew she meant she intended to refuse and hadn’t figured out how to do it yet. But he wasn’t going to give up that easily.

  A knock sounded on the door, and it opened at the same time. Salome and her purplish lips appeared in the doorway. “I thought you’d want this. It just came in over the fax.”

  “What is it?” Matt asked.

  “I don’t know. I can’t understand all this medical gibberish, but it’s got Josh Worsley’s name on it.”

  Matt practically snatched the paper from Salome’s hand.

  “What does it say?” Salome asked impatiently as he quickly read the sheet.

  “Translating medical gibberish into the vernacular, it says Josh has finally had a positive result from his chemotherapy.”

  “Does that mean he’s going to get well?”

  “I can’t guarantee anything, but his chances are now one hundred percent better.”

  Salome flashed an ear-to-ear purple smile that acted like a needle shot to Matt’s nerves. “One hundred percent sounds like a cure to me. Wait till I tell Sadie.”

  Matt wanted to call her back, to remind her to be cautious, but he couldn’t contain his own elation. After so many problems, Josh seemed to have turned the corner. Matt was so relieved he felt like letting out a whoop.

  Yet he felt a tinge of shame. He couldn’t be sure whether he was more relieved for Josh or for himself. The specter of failure had hung over him for weeks. It had seeped into his thinking so thoroughly he questioned nearly every diagnosis he made. After an unbroken string of academic successes, he wasn’t prepared for failure. He’d always known the possibility was there, but it had been an abstract kind of knowledge.

  He would be relieved to get back to a research hospital. There would be inevitable failures—even the most successful doctors had them—but at least it wouldn’t be happening to people he knew.

  He left his office to tell Liz. He knew she’d be as relieved as he was.

  “I want Matt,” Ben whined. “I want him to read me a story.”

  “He can’t,” Liz said. “He’s staying at Ethan’s house now.”

  “Why?” Rebecca asked. “Ethan doesn’t like Matt.”

  “I like Matt better’n Ethan,” Ben said.

  “That’s not a nice thing to say,” Liz said as she put Ben into bed and pulled the sheet over him. “Don’t say it again.”

  “But Ethan doesn’t like Matt, Mama,” Rebecca said. “I know he doesn’t.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “He was always trying to get between you and Matt,” she said. “He always wanted us to choose him for our side.”

  “I want Matt,” Ben stated.

  So do I. Liz thought to herself. But she couldn’t allow herself to think of that. She knew what she had to do. It wouldn’t help anybody if she started thinking about what might have been. She’d only end up crying and upsetting the children again.

  “I’m sure he’ll still play kick ball with you,” Liz said as she kissed her son good-night. “Maybe he’ll even read you a story.” He probably would. All Ben had to do was shove a book into his hands. But not a bedtime story. Liz didn’t trust herself to let him back into the house. She might decide she really couldn’t do without him after all.

  “Now go to sleep. If you’re good, I’ll see if Josie will let you play in her yard.” Josie had built an entire playground for the grandchildren she’d expected to have by now. Her yard had become the favorite playground for the children in Iron Springs.

  Liz accompanied Rebecca to her room and waited while her daughter climbed into bed. Rebecca always went to bed without the fuss Ben created, but Liz knew her daughter was missing Matt, as well. There was something about his presence that had made their little family seem complete.

  She’d been a fool to think love would make a difference. She’d also been unfair. She had expected Matt to do all the changing. She had called him stubborn, selfish and some other things she didn’t want to remember. All the while, she had refused to consider changing her plans for herself and her children by even the smallest detail.

  She wanted to, but she couldn’t.

  She couldn’t expect Matt to change his plans for her if she wasn’t willing to change for him. And the bottom line was that she wouldn’t.

  If it had to end, it would hurt less if it ended now. And it couldn’t end with him in the house.

  As long as she saw him across the breakfast and dinner table, as long as he played with her children and put them to bed, as long as he touched and kissed and held her and told her he loved her, she would never stop hoping some miracle would come along to make everything work out.

  She’d stopped believing in miracles with David.

  “Is our real daddy ever coming back?” Rebecca asked.

  The question was unexpected, but Liz decided this was as good a time as any to tell Rebecca about David’s upcoming visit.

  “He’s coming sometime this summer.”

  “When?”

  “I don’t know yet. He said he’d call and let me know.”

  “Is he going to take us away?”

  “No, sugar. Nobody will ever take you away from me.”

  Rebecca hugged her mother tightly. “I want to stay with you always.”

  Liz hugged her back. “You will, darling. You will. But your father misses you. He wants to see you and Ben.”

  “Will I like him? What does he look like?”

  Liz realized she didn’t have a single picture of David in the house. He was nothing but an abstract idea to her children. Suddenly she thought of what Matt had said and felt guilty. She might have been greatly disappointed in David, but she had divorced him. He was out of her life. He would always be Rebecca’s father. She deserved—she needed—a a. good image of him. Ben did, too.

  “Yes, I think you’ll like him,” Liz said. David could charm anyone when he tried. “When I first saw him, I thought he was the most handsome man in the whole world.”

  “Even handsomer than Matt? Salome says Matt’s to die for.”

  Liz would have to have a word with Salome. “I don’t think he’s as handsome as Matt, but you’ve got the best-looking daddy of any little girl in Iron Springs.”

  “Is he going to live here?”

  “No. He lives in New York.”

  “Why?” To her children, there was nowhere else but Iron Springs. They couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.

  “His job is in New York,” Liz explained. “So is his wife. He may soon have a new family.”

  “Will he bring his new family to see us?”

  “I doubt it.”

  “Won’t his new family be our family, too?”

  “Yes, in a way.”

  “Then
why can’t we see them?”

  “We might, but I can’t tell you for sure. I don’t know.”

  “Are we going to have any more family?”

  Liz’s heart slammed into her throat. For a wild moment, she thought Rebecca must somehow know she and Matt had slept together. But a moment’s rational thought told her that couldn’t be true.

  “I’d have to get married first,” Liz replied.

  But she wouldn’t, even though she might already be in the process of giving them a brother or a sister.

  “You could marry Matt. Then we could have more family.”

  Life was full of irony. Everyone said children were helpless. Yet with a single sentence, they could bring a parent to her knees.

  “Matt will go away soon, and we’ll never see him again.”

  “Would he stay if you married him?”

  “No.”

  “Why? Doesn’t he like us?”

  “He likes you very much, but he has something he wants to do very much. He’s been training for it all his life. He wouldn’t be able to do it if he stays here.”

  “Where’s he going?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Can’t we go with him?”

  Liz didn’t think she could stand much more. Rebecca was asking all the questions she’d already asked and answered. Hearing them all over again only made it more painful.

  “This is our home,” Liz said, “where Aunt Marian and all the rest of our family live. We belong here. Matt doesn’t. He has to go away.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I’m not sure I do, either, but that’s the way things are. We just have to accept it.”

  But could she? What a mess! All because she’d let her emotions get away from her one time too many. Well, she’d learned her lesson. She wouldn’t do it again. She would keep her emotions under control if it killed her. Because if she didn’t, it probably would.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Matt glanced over at Liz sitting stiffly in the front seat of the station wagon next to him. They were going to dinner, but it had taken him two weeks to talk her into it.

  “You sure you don’t have a favorite restaurant?” he asked. She’d been sulky from the moment he picked her up. You’d think she was being punished.

  “I never eat out. I can’t afford it.”

  “There’s a nice buffet just off the interstate at Newmarket.”

  “That sounds fine.”

  “We could catch a movie in Harrisonburg afterward.”

  “I can’t be out that late.”

  “Why? The children are staying overnight with your cousin.”

  “I just won’t feel comfortable.”

  She hadn’t been communicative since telling him he had to move. She told him she didn’t see any point in teasing herself with impossible dreams, but he knew she wasn’t dreaming at all. She’d given up.

  “I have some good news I’ve been saving until tonight.”

  “Has Dr. Andrews finally managed to get you recalled to the hospital?”

  “I wouldn’t consider that good news. Well, yes, I would, but not the way I would have months ago.”

  “It would get you out of Iron Springs. What could be better news than that?”

  “Your leaving with me.”

  “Matt, I’ve told you a hundred—”

  “I know. You had a terrible time in New York and you won’t trust anybody outside of Iron Springs ever again. That sounds as much like a crybaby as my whining about being born a bastard. And for a whole lot less reason, as I see it.”

  “Maybe, but that’s how I feel.”

  Great! She wasn’t going to try to defend her position. She was going to stick to it and to hell with what he said or thought or felt. It was impossible to reason with her.

  “Do you want to hear my news?”

  “If you want to tell me.”

  He’d need radar to detect any enthusiasm in her voice.

  “Georgia Allen called me earlier this week.”

  “Correction. She has called you every day this week.”

  Matt smiled to himself, relieved to know the source of her pique wasn’t entirely something he’d done. He suspected Salome had let Liz know every time Georgia called.

  “It’s good news. One of the CEOs I checked out for Georgia was so impressed I discovered a bleeding ulcer his regular physician had missed that he offered me a job.”

  “How wonderful for you.”

  “No, for us.” He wished he weren’t driving. He’d love to take Liz by the shoulders and shake her until she stopped acting like they were strangers going out on a blind date.

  “Okay, how is Georgia’s job going to affect me?”

  He gripped the steering wheel to keep from saying something that would only make things worse.

  “The man wants his company to have their own physician. They’ve got a lot of highly stressed executives who want someone to hold their hands.”

  “How is that going to advance your career as a surgeon?”

  “It won’t take all my time. I’ll be on call, do routine physicals, monitor any problem cases. The rest of the time will be mine. There are several hospitals in New York I could work with.”

  “What about your job here?”

  “They’re willing to buy up my scholarship obligation. I wouldn’t ever have to work in a place like Iron Springs again.” He hadn’t meant the words to come out exactly like that. “I mean, nobody will be able to make me go anywhere that wouldn’t help my career. The company would pay me a salary, and after five years I’d be free of any obligation.”

  “It sounds like a great opportunity for you.”

  “It is. I’ll miss working with Dr. Andrews, but there are lots of opportunities in New York. The company also has offices in Chicago, Houston and Seattle. I don’t have to stay in one place.”

  “What does Georgia think about this?”

  “She’s the one who pushed me as a candidate for the job. They originally wanted someone older. She convinced them I was good enough to handle the job now.”

  “You must be very grateful to her.”

  “I am. Georgia’s the greatest.”

  “I’m sure you’ll be very happy together.”

  “I doubt I’ll see her. She’s a stress-management consultant. She moves all over the country with each new job.”

  He thought Liz turned to stare at him, but he only caught the movement out of the corner of his eye so he couldn’t be sure. He didn’t dare look away from the road, especially at dusk. He still hadn’t gotten used to driving through these mountains.

  Her stiff, stubborn silence frustrated him. “Well, say something.”

  “What do you want me to say?”

  “That you’ll love me forever, that you’ll follow me anywhere, that we’ll be so insanely happy we’ll both forget we’ve been through some rough patches.”

  The silence didn’t auger well for the kind of response he wanted, but then he hadn’t expected it. Still, he didn’t know how she could complain about his being cold when she was giving a very convincing imitation of an iceberg.

  He thought heat was supposed to melt ice. God only knew he’d been as hot as a Bunsen burner for the past two weeks.

  “This is the perfect opportunity for us,” Matt said. “I get to pursue my career. I’ll be making enough money for us to put the kids in day care so you can go back and finish your degree.”

  “Haven’t you forgotten something?” she said.

  “What?”

  “You haven’t asked me to marry you?”

  “I thought you understood...I assumed—”

  “Any woman who assumes a man wants to marry her before he actually says the words is a fool.”

  “I want you to marry me. Will you?”

  “Haven’t you listened to anything I’ve said?”

  “Of course I have.”

  “Then you know the answer.”

  “No, I don’t. As you just pointed o
ut, I’ve never asked the question.”

  “Matt, you know I can’t marry you. It hurts when you won’t recognize that and let me alone.”

  “Why?”

  “I’ve already told you. I won’t leave Iron Springs. You won’t stay.”

  “There’s nothing for me here.”

  “I know that, but it doesn’t change the fact that everything I want is here. Besides, I won’t marry a man who wants to be one of the most famous or successful men in his field. Men like that don’t have time for wives and families. I’ve been there. I know.”

  “Anything else?” Much to his surprise, he was no longer nervous or frustrated. He was mad through and through.

  “I won’t like the wives of the men you’ll be working with, women only interested in the size of their houses, the number of servants they can afford, the cost of their jewels. They leave their husbands to eat in restaurants, or with their mistresses, and their children to nannies and boarding schools.”

  “Anything else?”

  “I think that ought to do it.”

  “It sure as hell does.” He jammed his foot on the brake pedal. The tires squealed as the car skidded off the road and onto the shoulder of a curve that would have scared him to death if he hadn’t been too angry to pay attention. The car came to a stop that would probably give them both a serious case of whiplash. He slammed the gearshift into park and turned to Liz. He grabbed her roughly by the shoulder.

  “Now you listen to me, Liz Rawlins. I’ve never heard so many foolish words come out of the mouth of an intelligent woman in so little time in my whole life. When did you get to be such a mass of ignorant prejudices? To characterize all people who live in cities as lacking soul and conscience is just as bigoted as my thinking everybody in Iron Springs had a red neck and descended from the same branch of the family tree. That’s just plain stupid, and I won’t accept it from you.”

  “You don’t have any choice. I—”

  “You’re a coward. Did you know that? I used to think you were courageous, but I was dead wrong. You’re a certified, grade-A, quivering-like-jelly, stick-your-head-in-the-sand coward. Josh Worsley has more courage in his little finger than you have in your whole body. Ben and Rebecca, too. You should be ashamed to call yourself their mother. No wonder David wants them back. You’ll have them growing up afraid to take a deep breath.”