Once inside I looked around like I always had. Of course it hadn’t changed. All of the furniture was still in the same place. The lamps and tabletops were thick with dust. The wood floors were dull and covered in soot. Even with the sadness that the house emanated from the people who left it behind, I still loved this place. The sadness wasn’t mine. I wished I could clean it up right now and move in. Dust off the living room sofa, curl up with a good book and some hot chocolate and never leave.
I walked from the kitchen where I had entered through the window, over to the open doorway that lead to the living room. It had a massive wood burning fireplace. The fireplace was made up of smooth river stones. On each side of the structure was a long stained glass window. The left window displayed a vine with white grapes and the right window had the same vine in an opposite position with purple grapes trailing down the frame. They were beautiful and still had all of their unique hardware in tact.
There were two large couches facing each other in front of the fireplace. They were covered in dingy drop cloths. In between the couches was an oval table. It was black marble and definitely needed a good cleaning. How could anyone just leave here and not take these beautiful pieces with them. I removed one of the couch covers to reveal a soft cream covered sofa. Although the color was slighted faded, the couch itself was in good shape. I decided to sit down and rest a bit before heading back home. I took the envelope from my back pocket and stared at the handwriting. I was curious as to what my mom had to say, but just couldn’t bring myself to deal with her apologizes or excuses right now. I was tired and just wanted to relax and not think about anything. It was early afternoon and the sun warmed the room through those beautiful windows. I decided to take advantage of the quiet and close my eyes for just a bit before heading back home.
I found myself being woken up by the sounds of several people yelling and pounding on the front door of the old house. I realized the room was no longer bright and sunny, but much darker. The sun was setting in Capri. What time was it anyway? I must have really been exhausted. How long was I asleep? Once I acclimated myself to the voices and the room, I got up to answer the door. I knew that behind that door was Dominick and clearly the other person shouting was my dad..
“Rain, are you in there? Are you hurt? Rain, answer me!”Dominick was panicked.
I shook my head and rolled my eyes. The peaceful quiet that I was just enjoying had sadly come to an end.
“Hang on. Yes, I’m in here and no, I’m not hurt.”I said feeling slightly annoyed because I was jarred from my restful sleep so abruptly.
“Rain, open this door. What the hell were you thinking? This property hasn’t been used in years. It’s not safe.”Now my dad chimed in.
“Give me a minute. It’s dark in here and I don’t want to trip over anything.”I said as I made my way to the door and unlocked it.
“You should have thought of that before breaking and entering.”Dominick bellowed.
I fumbled with the latch and pulled the heavy wood door to me. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. There to my surprise stood Dominick, my dad, Tommy, Antonio, Joseph and even Marcello.
“Was this really necessary? All of you showing up here like the Cavalry.”I said with my hands placed firmly on my hips and my head tilted to one side.“I mean why are you all here in the first place? Does it look like I need to be saved or something?”
The first to speak and come to me was Dominick. He came close, holding a lantern that illuminated his beautiful face.
“Yes, baby. This was necessary.”He very was soft, so I knew he had been worried. I felt horrible in that moment. I didn’t mean to frighten him or anyone else. My intention was to get away and clear my head.
I placed my hand over Dominick’s rapidly beating heart and I looked into his eyes.“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you. I just needed to get away to think.”Then I gently kissed his mouth and let my lips linger there briefly.
He leaned in and kissed me back.“Don’t do this again, Rain. I don’t think my heart can take it.”He grinned slightly.
I grinned back.
“Rain, how did you get into the old house anyway?”Tommy asked. Although all of the men seemed to be just as curious for an answer.
“I went around to the side window. The latch has been broken for years. I opened the shutters, then the window and climbed in. I hopped down off the countertop and here I am.”I said all of this with a smile and feeling quite proud of myself in that moment.
“You what? Are you crazy? You could have been seriously hurt. What were you thinking and what would make you come out here in the first place, Rain?” My dad was furious. He was more angry than Dominick.
I realized I left the envelope somewhere in the living room. I took the lantern from Dominick and went back to search for it. I found it on the floor immediately. I grabbed it and walked directly back to the men. I passed Dominick and went to my dad. I help up the lantern and the envelope.
“This is what made me come here to hide. This apology letter from your wife.”I was livid.
“Rain, don’t speak in that tone about your mother.”My dad reprimanded me.
“Really, dad? How should I speak about her then? Should I say what a wonderful woman Cella Medici was and how she cared for her sickly daughter for her entire life. How selfless she was day in and day out. Is that what you want me to remember about her, dad?”My voice was cold as ice.
“Rain, your tone is uncalled for.”
“No, dad; for once what I said about mom was called for and in fact, it was long overdue. She was a selfish bitch and everyone did exactly what she wanted, even you, dad. You did everything she asked, so you wouldn’t have to deal with her. The funny thing is that you left me to deal with her and now I’m done.”Tears rolled down my face, as my dad’s skin turned gray. I walked away with the letter and the lanterned and left the men to digest what I said.
“Rain! Please don’t leave like this!”My dad yelled to me.
“Everyone needs to just leave me alone!”I kept walking and not looking back. I was pretty sure each man was dumbfounded. They probably never expected to be greeted with such anger, but I was so hurt by everything that I discovered earlier today. This was years in the making. I didn’t even realize until now how far I buried my anger. I always felt that after my mom died I could just move on. Let it go. All I had done was place it somewhere so deep inside that I never really addressed it.
I got back to the house safe and sound to find Mema, Raven and Anna waiting in the kitchen for any kind of news. Raven was the first to jump up and greet me.
“Rain, my God, we were so worried about you. Where were you?”
“I went over to the vineyard house to think.”
“That old abandoned place near the cliffs?”Raven seemed confused.
“Yeah, that’s the one.”
“Why go there?”
“When I was younger and mom was being mom, I used to go there to escape. To get away just for a little while. She never looked there. It gave me peace, Raven.”I grabbed her shoulders so I could make her understand.
She touched me cheek, smiled and winked.
“I get it. You don’t have to explain.”Raven whispered and a tear fell onto her cheek.
My tears followed as I wipe the trail of water from her cheek.
She did get it. She always did and I always got her. We barely had to speak and we always understood each others problems and hurts. We didn’t have all the answers and we couldn’t always solve all of our situations, but what we did have was each other and I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.
“Well, all that matters is that you're home safe and sound now.”Mema joined in. She walked over and hugged me.
Anna followed her and held my hand.“We’re so glad you're okay.”
“I’m fine. By the way, did you tell the guys where I was, Anna?”I asked.
“I have to admit when even Tommy wasn’t sure where you went, I told the
m about the house. I hope you aren’t angry with me.”Anna was conflicted with the decision she had made.
“No, not at all. I’m sure I would have been fine whether they came for me or I came home on my own, but it’s okay either way.”I smiled and reassured her.
She smiled back.
“Are you hungry, Rain?”Raven asked.
“Not really. I think I’m just going to go lay down right now and I’ll get up later to eat something.”
“I’ll save a plate for you. You eat whenever you're ready.”Mema added.
“Thank you. I’ll be back down a little later.”
Exhausted, I climbed the stairs, headed to my room, kicked off my boots and slipped out of my jacket. I didn’t even change my clothes. I crawled into my warm bed and placed the envelope on the side table. I closed my eyes and began to drift away when I felt a familiar hard body curl around me. My body relaxed with my connection to him.
“Are you really okay?”Dominick asked quietly.
“I’m fine. I wish you would be believe me.”
“I would believe you, if you were actually telling me the truth.”
I flipped over abruptly and looked deep into his eyes.
“You think I would lie to you?”I questioned him.
“No, baby. I don’t think you’re lying to me, but I do think you’re avoiding the situation.”He was diplomatic. Imagine that, Dominick diplomatic. Who would have thought it?
I sighed deeply.
“Dominick, I’m not trying to avoid it. I’m trying to take it all in and hopefully understand what happened all of those years ago. I guess I had avoided it for too long, but now I realize I don’t want to be haunted by it forever.
“Baby, there is always going to be memories that follow you around. Some good and some not so good, but you can’t let them control your life. Weren’t you the one who told me that you would never let anything or anyone control you ever again.”He raised his eyebrows and grinned at me. He was making his point clear.
“Yeah, that’s what I said. That’s how I’ve always lived my life until…..”I was interrupted.
“Until I came along and disrupted you're whole world.”He voice became small and laced with a hint of regret.
“Dominick, don’t. You didn’t disrupt my whole world, as you put it. You woke it up. You woke me up. You made me realize that I wasn’t living, really. I was existing in a safe structure. I kept people that I loved my entire life in a close circle and I allowed them to block anyone else from entering. From becoming a part of my life. They continued to keep me safe with my silent permission. Life became predictable, no surprises. I thought I was okay with that, but now I know I was settling. It was easy to fall into a routine. I mean my life always had a routine and a structure, but after my mom died I was the one defining it, controlling it. It didn’t mean it was better. It was just familiar.”
“I know, baby; but I brought all of the ugliness out that you had kept at bay for all of these years.”
“No, you're wrong. I didn’t keep ugly at bay. I kept ugly buried. Willingly or not, I never addressed these issues. I let them hide in the past after my mom died. I cried when she died, but I snuck away from the house when no one noticed. I headed to the vineyard and to the old house. Once there I smiled and breathed a sigh of relief that her hold on me was over. Now, I know that it really hadn’t ended that day. I’ve been carrying it all with me this entire time. Maybe deep down inside I felt I never deserved to be happy because my mom’s life was over and mine was just beginning.”
“Rain, maybe it was just that you had wished your mom could have spent more time with you. Time that would have been different than when you were a child. You told me once you that when you were feeling stronger, you had hoped things would have been better with you and your mom.”
“Yes, I did tell you that, but as I grew stronger, she grew weaker. I always thought it was because she had neglected herself and that the doctors discovered a mysterious illness or something and once they did, she was too far gone for treatment.”
“You never did say what she died from.”He stated, but I knew he wanted to know more.
“The doctors said that she had several physical ailments that she had not addressed, mainly heart issues. They did say that much of her neglect was not due to her taking care of me, but because she was a very unhappy woman and she just didn’t take care of herself by her own choice. She was severely depressed much of the time. I’m assuming she didn’t take care of her other conditions due to her depression. As a child, she always seemed in control of herself.”
“Did your father call in any specialists to help?”he asked.
“All the time, now that I think about it. He was always trying to help her and get her to the appointments he would make for her. Whether he was in Italy or not, he was always looking for answers to her obsessive behavior, but she constantly blocked his help. At the time, I thought it was because she was busy with me, but now I think she may have been insulted by my dad’s intrusions. She was the one who always refused to go and she even cancelled many of the appointments. My mom told the doctors that my dad had no right to make appointments for her. She never said she was too busy. She just flat out refused. It was a source of tension between my parents, but they never let it intentionally affect our family time together and eventually my dad stopped trying to convince her to seek help and they got along much better that way.”I explained and Dominick really listened. He was learning more about my past and I think much of it helped him to put the puzzle pieces together that were floating around in that head of his.
“Your dad really loved your mom. He just wanted to look after her. It seems to me she was distracted by her past, by my father.”
“You maybe right. Up until now I had only learned of your father’s love for my mom through his final letter to me, but my mom’s letters also confirmed a very intimate relationship throughout their lifetime, whether physical or not. I think I had told you this before, but my mom was always better when there was a man around. Whether it was my dad who came to visit or your father, she seemed more settled. She almost seemed happy to have issues and for the attention the men gave her, which her situation created. I didn’t know that her relationship with your dad had begun at such an early age. I thought maybe they met in college. It appears that she carried so much regret and sadness with her. I wish she had gotten help.”
“Did your dad ever try to have her hospitalized?”He was cautious when he asked this question.
“I wasn’t aware of any hospitalization in the past, but later on after my mom died my dad did tell me that he tried to have her go to a center in France and she signed herself out. The doctors said she passed all of their tests brilliantly and she didn’t present with any typical signs of depression, so they couldn’t hold her against her will.”
“Maybe they didn’t have as many tools or resources to treat her depression back then as they have today.”Dominick added.
“I’m sure you’re right, but my mom was a very stubborn woman and she wasn’t doing anything that she didn’t want to do. No one, not even my dad could convince her.”
“I know a woman with similar traits.”He smirked.
“You’re calling me stubborn. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.”I stated emphatically.
“I’m not stubborn, Rain. I’m a man who knows exactly what he wants and I don’t waste any time going after it. I always take what’s mine.”His voice turned dark.
My insides tightened.
“So what exactly do you want, Mr. Kane?”I asked, as I tried to put the conversation of my mom and the past behind us, even if it was only for a brief moment.
“Oh, no. You’re not distracting me, Miss Medici. Not when we haven’t finished this conversation yet.”He was firm.
“I thought we were finished and ready to move on to more intimate things.”I teased and pressed my body against his torso.
“Baby, I want nothing more than to make love to yo
u right now, but I need all of you and all of you is not here, yet. I saw the way you spoke to you’re dad. That wasn’t like you, Rain. I heard the way you spoke about you’re mom and that wasn’t you either. You’re struggling and I’ll be damn if I’m going to ignore it and bury one more thing in your past. Let’s get this all out in the open and end it.”He was adamant.
Identity: …………..People aren’t always who you believe them to be (Miss Taken Identity Series Book 2) Page 17