The Garden of Stars
Page 14
No. Jack was still there at my side, holding my hand, his head sweetly nuzzled into my neck the way he always slept. We had talked for hours after Lily had gone to bed, tentatively at first, each exploring how the other had changed, then rejoicing in what still remained; how our love had grown stronger over the passing of time and the poignancy of grief. Jack marvelled at all that Lily and I had achieved, and I cried when I learnt how his life had been put on hold while he’d spent every waking moment searching for us.
Now that he lay here by my side, it felt as if we’d never been apart. I tenderly loosened my hand from his, pulled the cover over him then tiptoed out of the bedroom door.
When I got to Lily’s door I hesitated. What impact would all this have had on my lovely, caring little girl?
Gently I opened the door and it creaked softly the way it always did. There on the bed lay Lily, just as before, only somehow different. She looked older, wiser, and more peaceful than ever. Hearing the door creak, she blinked, sat up and rubbed her eyes.
‘Do you love me, Mummy?’ she asked.
‘Oh yes,’ I answered, rubbing her cheeks, which were, once again, covered in glitter.
‘As much as Rosie?’
‘My Lily, I love you for you, just the way you are. I’ve never wanted you to be anything other than you. You’ve always been my Lily, my world, my everything. You are a very brave young lady, and you always make me hugely proud.’
She shrugged and tried to smile.
‘Oh, my darling, I’m so very sorry. I should never have given you that name when we got here. I never explained to you fully what was going on, but you went along with it, you were such an angel. Rosie couldn’t stay with us so we’ll never know whether she was going to grow up to be such a beautiful, smart girl as you. But remember a little bit of your sister lives on in you, just as she does in me and Daddy. It’s OK to talk about her, it’s OK to talk about anything now. We’re not hiding or running any more. We can be ourselves again, my lovely Lily.’
‘Oh, Mummy,’ she said, sitting up to give me a hug. ‘Does that mean we’re going to keep seeing Daddy?’
‘We are, sweetheart. Have you missed him terribly?’
Lily nodded solemnly and I felt my heart would break. My cheerful, sunshine girl had so carefully hidden away her pain to look after her broken, angst-ridden mother. I felt guilt searing through my veins again. How could I have been so blind as to think my eldest girl was happy without her baby sister, her father, even her own name?
But then I stopped myself. Guilt eats away at you. I know that only too well. And hadn’t I built a nice life here for us in Ivory Meadows? We had had a lot of fun and together, we’d been on a journey that had perhaps helped to heal us both. And yet at the same time, I’d felt a yearning, an emptiness in my heart. I tried to fill it by keeping busy, surrounding myself with people and the fight to save the town. Last night, for the first time, I realised what that gap in my life was. It was Jack. The force of my feelings had hit me hard and I’d clung to him in bed like a helpless child, tears streaming down my cheeks as he kissed each one away. We promised to try to keep each other, and Lily, safe and happy from now on. The raw pain and the torment of losing Rosie would still be present, something we woke to every morning and lay in bed thinking of each night, but it would be a sorrow we would share together now, a suffering which could perhaps soften a little with the passing of time. She was our girl. She would, forever, be with us in our thoughts and in our hearts.
Now, I turned again to our beautiful daughter Lily, the sole surviving product of the love and devotion we once again felt for each other.
‘Although times have been hard, you’ve always made it so much easier with your cheeky grin and freckles. And all that hair, like the sun itself had fallen from the sky and landed on top of your head. I just hid you for a while behind Rosie. We can think of Rosie as a beautiful star twinkling over us in the night sky. But now it’s time for you to shine and be the amazing girl that you are – as pretty as sunset and as bright as sun-up.’
We hugged and hugged, tears rolling down our cheeks until I said, ‘Pancakes for breakfast?’
‘With Daddy?’
‘You bet!’
We tumbled downstairs together to find Jack already in the kitchen, mixing flour, eggs, and milk.
‘When did you learn to cook?’ I asked, slipping my hand around his waist.
‘When I had to become self-sufficient.’ He laughed.
With cherry jam dribbling down our faces, we laughed and cried together all morning, reminiscing about the past, fondly talking about Rosie, catching up where we left off and making plans for our future.
At last, Lily and I were home, with the man we had both been yearning for all this time, in the beautiful and now flourishing town of Ivory Meadows.
The End
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Published by Accent Press Ltd 2014
ISBN 9781783751365
Copyright © Zoe Chamberlain 2014
The right of Zoe Chamberlain to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
The story contained within this book is a work of fiction. Names and characters are the product of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
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