Confessions of a Carpool Captive

by Dawn L. Chiletz

  “Did you feel anything when I kissed you?”

  I swallow hard. “I felt your lips.”

  He chuckles. “And?”

  “And what? What do you want me to say?”

  “I want you to say: ‘I felt the way you kissed me and I could tell it was more than just a show.’”

  “Was it?” I ask.

  He smirks. “Are my parents here now?”

  I gulp down some air.

  Bending his neck, he lightly touches his lips to mine before I can respond. He stares into my eyes as if to gauge my reaction. If he expects me to fight him, he’s going to be disappointed. I’ve wanted to kiss him for what seems like forever.

  Reaching up, I place my fingers in his hair and he deepens the kiss, his eyes closing. I love his hair and the way it feels in my hands. He parts my lips with his tongue and kisses me passionately, pressing his body against mine and into the bed. I roll slightly and he moves his torso so that I can feel him against my legs. Instinctively, I try to open my legs to give him access, but the blanket between us won’t allow it. His tongue caresses mine and it stirs feelings in me I don’t recognize.

  He pulls at the blanket between us as I attempt to roll to the side to move it. Together we tumble onto the floor, with me on top.

  “That was loud,” he whispers.

  He kisses the tip of my nose, then my cheek as I attempt to stand. I hold out my hand to him and help him get up. He picks up the blanket, rolls it into a wad and throws it in the back corner of the room.

  My eyes travel over his body and my nerves get the best of me. I don’t know what to make of our make-out session. I’m not sure how I feel all of a sudden.

  He seems to sense my anxiety. “It’s late. Let’s just get some sleep.”

  I nod my head. He starts back to the couch.

  “Finn, please sleep on the bed,” I beg.

  His shoulders visibly slump in frustration.

  “I’ll tell you what. Let’s both sleep on the bed. You stay on your side and I’ll stay on mine. Deal?” I ask.

  He smiles. “Deal.”

  We climb into our respective sides and there’s an awkward moment of silence.

  “You know what I was thinking?” he asks.

  “What?”

  “I really don’t know very much about you. You heard all about me tonight. I think it’s only fair if you give me something.”

  I turn on my side to face him and he does the same. “What do you want to know?” I ask him. “I’m not creative like you. I never played any sports or won any academic awards. I’m pretty boring.”

  “You’re the least boring person I’ve ever met.” He pauses for a moment then says, “Tell me about your family.”

  I sigh, placing my hands under my head. “I’m an only child. My parents tried and tried for years to have a baby, but it never happened. They thought about adoption, but they couldn’t afford it. My mom was in her mid-forties and my dad was almost fifty when I surprised them.”

  He smiles as his eyes move over my face. I should be freaking out. I can’t believe I’m lying in bed with him and talking. For some reason, I’m not the least bit uncomfortable.

  “We did everything together and they spent every second of their time with me. All of their friends’ kids were grown, so I grew up playing with them, especially my dad. I preferred the company of adults to children. I was always shy and I never really clicked with kids my own age. They never forced me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with.”

  “I’m sorry about your dad,” he says, frowning. “That must have been hard.”

  I nod my head. “It was. My mom moved in with my aunt to save money and I felt like I was imposing, so I got my own place and worked through college to pay for it. She and I are really close, but my dad was my best friend. After he was gone…” The emotions well up inside me and I decide I’m done.

  I roll back over to face the wall. “Umm, goodnight, Finn.”

  “If I’ve upset you, I’m sorry.”

  “No, you didn’t. I’m just tired.”

  He leans over and kisses the side of my head. “Thank you for telling me. I want to know you, Liz. I want to know everything about you.”

  Pressing my lips into a fine line, I wonder why. Why would he care? I don’t say another word and pretend I’ve fallen asleep. I feel him roll onto his back. Overthinking every detail of every moment we’ve spent together for a long time, I decide I need to know what he thinks is happening with us. Turning to face him, I see he’s sound asleep. I’m so confused. I don’t want to get hurt again. Relationships lead to pain. Everyone goes away for one reason or another.

  Placing my hands under my head, I stare at the man who could be my everything, or who could completely destroy me.

  I don’t know when I finally fell asleep. I know I lay in bed next to Finn and tried to catch my breath for a long time. I remember him lying on his back and looking edible. I also remember having to turn my back to him so I could try to stop thinking about his mouth and his hands.

  But now, as I open my eyes, I realize my head is on his chest and he’s sound asleep with his arm around me. Widening my eyes in panic, I wonder how to get out of his grip without waking him.

  How did we end up molded together? It’s like we’re magnets. Complete opposites in every way yet pulled together by an unknown force.

  I gaze down at his skin. It’s fair and slightly freckled but smooth and firm. His abs are a few inches from my fingertips and if I really wanted to, I could easily trace the edges.

  There’s a knock on his door. “Finn? I’m so sorry to wake you, but there’s a slight problem.”

  I close my eyes and move when he does, feigning the same shock he displays at our proximity.

  “Well, good morning,” he says with a cocky grin, not releasing me from the weight of his arm.

  “Finn, move!” I whisper, trying to get out from under him.

  “If I would have known you moved over to my side, I would have woken up earlier.”

  The knocking continues.

  “Your mom!” I mouth nervously.

  “Right,” he says, releasing me and sitting up. “Just a sec, be right there,” he hollers to the door.

  He stands and dear lord in heaven, is he full-on hard every morning?

  My mouth gapes and he follows my line of sight, grinning widely and strengthening his stance. I turn my head quickly, pulling a pillow over my eyes.

  “Like I said earlier, more than adequate.”

  “Oh my God! Cover yourself.”

  Hurrying around to my side of the bed, he picks up the sweats that didn’t fit me and sits down next to me, pulling them on.

  Half watching from behind the pillow out of curiosity, I see him adjust himself. “I’m about to cover up, you sure you don’t want another look?”

  Making a small opening with my fingers, I glare at him and raise my middle finger. “Who are you and what did you do with Finn the gentleman?” I ask.

  He smirks. “I’m opening the door.”

  “Finn!”

  Before I know it, he’s standing bare-chested in front of his mom while I’m still under the covers in his bed. How embarrassing.

  She smiles uncomfortably. “I’m sorry to bug you, but umm, I think something you flushed last night clogged the toilet and I don’t see a plunger. I thought you might want to take care of it before your dad gets up.”

  Finn shrugs. “Okay, I have no idea what you’re talking about, but let’s go have a look.”

  I yawn, wondering what he did to clog the toilet. I’m pretty sure I was the last one in there and I didn’t even pee. I gasp and fly out of bed, grabbing the blanket off the floor on my way out the door.

  I rush toward the bathroom and Finn and his mother are standing over an open toilet seat. Finn’s face says it all.

  “You really need a garbage can. You shouldn’t flush those,” she tells him. She notices my horror and hightails it past me.

  Finn stare
s at the open toilet then glances at me curiously.

  “Weren’t you the last one in here?” he asks.

  I rush toward him and sure enough, there’s a condom and wrapper bits floating on top of the water.

  “I… I can explain. I mean. Well… Umm… I was… oh God.”

  He smiles and crosses his arms. “You’re at a loss for words? This must be a great story. Did I sleep through something last night? Because if I did, I will shoot myself.”

  “I was... You told me to… and when I did there was… and they scattered and I… thought I…” I can feel the heat in my face.

  He laughs deeply, holding his stomach then bending at the waist to catch his breath. Mortified, I want to cry. I rush back into his bedroom and close the door, locking it.

  “Liz…” I hear his voice, but I don’t want to ever see him again. I frantically change my clothes.

  I hear the toilet flush a few times and the knob turns unsuccessfully on his door.

  “Liz, come on. Open up.”

  I pull my dress over my head.

  “Liz?” he whispers. “Let me in before my parents get suspicious.”

  Stopping with a boot in my hand, I sigh and unlock his door. He slides in and closes it behind him.

  “I was just messing with you. I’m sure there’s a completely logical explanation.”

  “Take me home.”

  He makes his way toward me and I lift my hand to stop him. He sighs. “Don’t be angry.”

  “I’m not mad. I’m utterly humiliated!”

  I try to pull on a boot while standing, lose my balance, and almost topple to floor. Finn reaches out and grabs ahold of me.

  Yanking my arm from him, I sit on the bed and start the process over.

  He presses his fist to his lips. I gawk.

  “It’s not fucking funny, you asshole!”

  “It’s probably one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. The look on your face…”

  He places his hands at his sides and clamps his lips together.

  Covering my face with my hands, I start to cry.

  “Hey…” His laughter is replaced with worry. He rushes over to the bed and sits down next to me, putting his arm around me. “I didn’t know you were that upset! Don’t cry.”

  He kisses the top of my head and through my sobs I manage to mumble, “You told me to go in your drawers to get clothes and when I pulled out your sweats, your condom stash flew out with it. I mean… you must sleep with a lot of girls to need a box that big. I tried to pick them up, but then you came in and I didn’t want you to know I saw them so when you left, I put them back. But when I went to the bathroom to change, there was one stuck inside the clothes. I didn’t want to explain so I thought I’d just throw it away. But I couldn’t find a garbage can and I panicked. I should have gone downstairs, but I didn’t. So I flushed it. I watched it go down. I thought it went down. I should have double checked. I wish I would have checked. You obviously have a lot of sex and I’m sure you never flush them. The used ones. Obviously not the unused ones. Now your mom thinks I’m an idiot and I know I’m an idiot for thinking there was something… that we were… that I was—”

  “They aren’t mine,” he replies.

  Glaring up at his obvious lie, he stammers.

  “Well I guess they’re mine now, but they were my brother’s and I just brought them with me when I bought the place. I haven’t thought about them since I moved in. Do you honestly think if I used them all the time, I’d keep them in the bottom drawer of my dresser? Wouldn’t I keep them by the bed for quick access?” he asks, motioning toward his nightstand.

  “Maybe you have another stash in there.” I sniffle.

  “It’s been a long time since I thought about using condoms. Well, up until last night anyway,” he says, sincerely.

  Surveying his face, I try to discern if he’s lying or not. “You’re just trying to make me feel better.”

  He squats down in front of me. “Your story makes complete and total sense. You’re amazingly sweet for not calling me out last night and embarrassing me.”

  I roll my eyes. “I’m supposed to believe the player’s mega box was your brother’s? I suppose the blow-up doll was his as well and you’re really not twisted and perverted?”

  He shrugs. “The blow-up doll actually was his. As far as twisted and perverted goes, I probably am. I undressed you in my mind at least ten times last night and twice already this morning.”

  Red heat rises in my cheeks and he smiles.

  “But your mom…” I sigh.

  “My mom thinks I slept with my girlfriend last night after she encouraged you to stay with me. She thinks you’re the shit. If anything, she’s probably worried I’m not doing it for you and I’ll lose the only good thing I have going for me.”

  Staring into his deep blue eyes, questions flood my mind. “Why would you say something like that? You have a lot going for you.”

  There’s another knock at the door.

  “Can I come in?” His mother asks.

  “Sure,” Finn responds. As she enters, he pulls himself up to sit next to me on the bed.

  “I hope I didn’t cause a fight. For the record, I’m glad you two use protection. I wouldn’t be opposed to a grandchild, but I’d hope he’d put a ring on it first.” She twists her hand in a “Single Ladies” motion and I crack a grin.

  “Mom, do you actually know the ‘Single Ladies’ dance?” Finn asks.

  She waves him off. “I know the hand movement and the Pee-wee Herman part.”

  “Pee-wee Herman?” he asks through a laugh, moving toward her.

  “You know the part where you put your hands in front and back.” She dances and I start to laugh. She’s funny as hell.

  “That’s not the Pee-wee Herman, Mom, and it goes like this.” Finn demonstrates the correct move to her and she tries to mimic him. Of course he’s near perfection. I stare at the two of them in wonder. All my worry disappears. He’s magic like that.

  “For the love of all things holy, move!”

  Kel is on edge this morning. Traffic is a bear and he needs to get to work for a morning meeting.

  “These motherfuckers drive like they’ve never seen the sun before.” He rolls down his window and screams out to no one in particular. “Move your fucking asses, you stupid morons!”

  Finn and I shoot each other concerned glances.

  “Kel, yelling isn’t going to help and honestly, you’re making me a little uncomfortable,” Finn says as he twists in his seat.

  “Yeah. What’s gotten into you today?” Emerson asks as she files her nails.

  “Traffic moves just fine every other day of the week, but when I need to get to work on time, all the idiots decide to go for a morning stroll. Move your asses before I move them for you,” he shouts again out the window.

  Finn reaches over and presses a button. Kel’s window goes up.

  “What the fuck?”

  He tries to push it down again. When he can’t, he turns his anger on Finn.

  “Did you child restrain me, you shithead?”

  “Calm down,” Emerson says as I turn around to glare at him.

  “You calm the fuck down!” Kel adds as he points to her angrily across Ernesto. Ernesto’s hands fly up over his head in response.

  “Oh for the love of God, Ernie. Put your hands down,” Kel huffs as he turns back to face his window, crossing his arms.

  “You know, you never did tell us why you don’t just drive yourself? Liz told me that Finn said you have a Chevy Convertible,” Emerson adds, motioning toward us as she speaks.

  I grit my teeth to Finn and he shrugs as if he doesn’t care I told her. I wish she’d stop texting me all the time. I hate having to chat with her every night after work. I shouldn’t have said a thing.

  “It’s none of your business,” Kel responds, biting on his nail.

  “Hmm. You never seem to have your license on you and you have a car. Let’s see, people, what do you all
think that means?” Emerson asks.

  “Em, leave it alone,” Finn whispers with a sigh.

  “No, inquiring minds want to know. We know Liz’s car is in the shop; I don’t own a car and was riding buses to work. And Ernesto, well, we don’t know anything about him.”

  I swivel backward in time to see Ernesto smile and nod his head to her at the mention of his name. Why can’t everyone be more like him?

  “But you? You’ve never explained why you need a ride to work.”

  “Finn’s the one who’s driving and he doesn’t care, so why don’t you shut up before I make you,” Kel barks. There seems to be more nervousness than threat in his tone.

  “Everyone just calm down,” Finn adds as we inch closer to a fender bender on the side of the road.

  “See. It’s a gaper’s delay. We should pick up speed in a few. How about if we stop talking for a little while? Everyone take a deep breath and relax,” Finn says as his right hand raises and lowers to show us how to breathe.

  Stealing a glance at him out of the corner of my eye, I’m thankful he’s the voice of reason. Quiet would be lovely.

  I take a steadying breath as silence fills my happy ears. It doesn’t last long.

  “And what kind of name is Kel, anyway? Are you named after someone?” Emerson asks.

  “You just can’t keep your mouth shut, can you?” Kel asks, facing her once again. “Why don’t you eat some more snacks. At this point, I’d rather hear your stupid crunching than the sound of your voice.”

  She sticks her tongue out at him in response. I turn back to face forward.

  We pull next to the car accident and come to a complete stop. Four people are standing next to two cars. There’s barely a dent in the bumper.

  Kel’s door flies open and he jumps out.

  “Oh hell!” Emerson shouts.

  “Really?” he screams to the people on the road. “You held us up in traffic for a damn scratch on your bumper? What’s wrong with you people?”

  His hands fly in the air as he speaks. The people on the road appear frightened.

  “Which one of you caused this? I’m going to be late for work because of this!”

  Finn rushes to unbuckle his seat belt as Ernesto slides out of the car. We watch in horror and surprise as he slides an arm around Kel’s shoulder. Kel turns defensively and stops when he sees Ernesto smiling at him. He does a double take and Ernesto pulls him gently back to the car, never saying a word.