Is he doing it to torture me or does he really like her? I gaze at her in her short skirt and heels. She’s a petite little thing with dirty-blonde hair. Maybe he likes blondes. I bet she works on his floor. Maybe she noticed he was sad and gave him a shoulder to cry on. Maybe he’s giving her a ride to work now. Maybe they’re dating. Could he move on from me so quickly?
I feel the heat in my face, only it’s not anger— it’s regret mixed with sadness. I don’t want him to wink at other girls. I want him to wink at me so I can roll my eyes.
I don’t hate him. I love him. I love everything about him, including how he loves me. Holy shit. I do love him. Is that why I pushed him away? Because everything I ever loved, I’ve lost in one way or another. Am I letting my fear of being alone keep me alone? I’m not sure what to make of this new information, so I sit and stew, pondering my anger versus my fear. Fear always wins and it’s convincing me I was right to walk away.
For the rest of the session, he never turns his head in my direction, much less makes eye contact with me. I realize it’s too late anyway. He’s not mine to claim anymore. Maybe he never was.
After the session ends, I’m one of the first ones to leave. I make my way to the next class and take careful notes. I keep my spikes up so no one approaches me. It’s what I do best.
I need this weekend to be over so I can go home and forget any of this ever happened. I didn’t know how lonely I was until I wasn’t alone anymore. Now the desolation feels unbearable. How can I ever go back?
I can’t pull myself out of bed to go sightseeing like I planned, so I take my time getting ready and make it down to the lobby in time for noon checkout. I decide to get to the airport early and write. It’s the only thing keeping me sane right now.
My phone pings with a text.
Emerson: Have you left the hotel yet?
Liz: No, why?
Emerson: Our flight leaves in thirty minutes. They’re boarding, but Ernesto isn’t here. No one has seen him since Friday and he’s not responding to any of our calls or messages.
Liz: What? Okay, do you want me to see if I can find him?
Emerson: PLEASE!!!!
I slide my phone into my jeans pocket and lug my carry-on to the front desk.
“Excuse me. Can you tell me if you have an Ernesto…”
“Ernesto who, ma’am?”
Holy hell, I don’t know his last name.
“I’m sorry. Could you give me a moment?”
He nods his head politely and I feel like an idiot. All this time and I don’t even know his full name.
Liz: What’s Ernesto’s last name?
Emerson: Hold on. I’m starting a group text. Can you unblock Finn just for now?
I cringe. I forgot I’d done that. No wonder he never writes me. Although I’m sure that’s not the only reason. I scroll through my numbers, find his, and unblock him.
Liz: Okay done.
Emerson: Hold on.
A minute later, a group text comes through.
Emerson: Does anyone know Ernesto’s last name?
Finn: I saw it on his license. Umm… River?
Kel: Ernesto River? That doesn’t sound Spanish.
Liz: Rivera?
Finn: Yes! Liz go!
I rush back to the desk. “Ernesto Rivera.”
He types for a bit. He stops for a second then types a bit more. The phone rings and he answers it. I glance down at the time on my phone. They have twenty minutes.
“I had an Ernesto Rivera, but he checked out already.”
“Do you know if he left for the airport?”
“I sure don’t. You can ask Leonardo by the shuttle desk. Maybe he’ll remember him.”
I pull my bag to the shuttle desk. The man I assume to be Leonardo is speaking with another guest. I shoot them a text while I wait.
Liz: They said he checked out. I’m asking the shuttle driver if he remembers him. You guys get on your flight. I’ll find him.
“Can I help you?”
“Yes, I’m looking for a friend of mine. His name is Ernesto Rivera. Would you happen to know if you gave him a ride to the airport?”
“I’m sorry, but rarely if ever do I catch a name. Do you have a picture of him? Maybe I’d recognize him.”
“Can you give me a second?” Stepping away from him, I write another quick text.
Liz: Emerson, I need a picture of him. Do you have one from New Year’s?
A few seconds later, four pictures come through on my phone. I hold up the first one to Leonardo and point him out. He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, but I don’t recall seeing him.”
I thank him and amble away.
“Excuse me, miss,” he says, calling me back.
I turn to face him.
“Are you planning on going to the airport anytime soon? The weather reports say we have a blizzard on its way. I imagine you’d better get to your flight.”
“Thank you, but I can’t go until I know if my friend is okay.”
Checking my phone for the time, I see their plane has already taken off. I hope Ernesto is safe.
I walk over to the front desk once again. “Is there a way I can leave my bag with you? I need to look around for someone.”
“Of course.” He hands me a ticket and I stuff it into my pocket as he pulls my bag behind the desk.
“You wouldn’t happen to have a map of the resort, would you?”
“Sure thing.”
He hands me the map and I walk over to a chair in the lobby. Putting my purse strap over my head and glancing at the time once again, I figure I have a good hour and a half before I really need to be at the airport. Hopefully by then, I’ll have solved the mystery and found Ernesto, wherever he might be.
It’s been thirty minutes and I’ve only managed to cover the conference rooms and the gift shop. There’s no way I’ll make it to every floor by the time I have to leave. I sigh and run the back of my hand across my forehead. I’m sweating my ass off.
I make my way back to the lobby and glance at the map. If I head left, I can hit the workout center, spa, and pool. If I hurry, I might even be able to get to the two restaurants on the second floor.
“Liz!”
I turn my head from left to right, swearing I heard my name.
“Over here.”
I spin around as Emerson, Kel, and Finn walk in through the front carousel door. They’re a sight for sore eyes and they’re covered in snow.
“Did you find him?” Kel asks.
“No. What are you doing here? Did you miss your flight?” I ask.
“We weren’t leaving until we made sure he was okay,” Finn says. He’s a bit out of breath.
“We rebooked ourselves on the three o’clock,” Emerson says as she hugs me.
I nod. “That’s my flight.” I make direct eye contact with Finn and he looks through me. I have to turn away first. He’s still so confident and self-assured. I’ll never be like him.
Clearing my throat and regaining my composure, I hold up the map. “If we split up, we’ll be able to cover more ground. Give your bags to the desk clerk and he’ll hold them.”
They do as I suggest and Finn grabs an extra map. “It’s the last one he had. I think we’d better stay in pairs. We don’t need to lose someone else.”
“Right!” Emerson says. She yanks the map from my fingers and pulls Kel by the arm. She walks backward as she yells, “We’ll check the restaurants, you two take the spa and workout center. We’ll meet by the pool!”
“Em, come on…” Finn yells after her, but they’re on the elevator before we know it.
He turns and shrugs. “Shall we?”
I nod my head. He places his hand on the small of my back and I feel a chill. He quickly removes it when he sees me jump.
“I’m sorry. Old habits die hard.”
“I don’t mind. I just wasn’t expecting you to ever touch me again.”
“I shouldn’t have. I apologize.”
“Finn, I—�
��
“I think we should focus on finding Ernesto, don’t you?”
We hurry our way through the workout center and then hit the spa. Ernesto is nowhere to be found.
As we approach the indoor pool, we see Emerson and Kel coming from the opposite direction.
“Anything?” Finn asks.
“Nope. No one has seen him.”
“Maybe he got an earlier flight,” Emerson suggests. She seems uncomfortable and irritable. I guess we’re all a little on edge because we’re so worried, so I brush it off.
“Did you see him at the airport Friday?” Kel shakes his head as he continues, “He had no idea what he was doing. If it weren’t for us, I don’t think he would have made it this far. He really is inept.”
“Inept? That’s a big word for a big boy. It’s like I’m watching you grow up in front of my eyes,” Emerson says with a giggle as she pets his arm.
“Shut it. I’m smarter than you think I am.”
“Really? So you’re smarter than a trash can?”
Kel laughs and I’m surprised. Usually comments like that anger him, but he seems amused.
“Folks, can we focus?” Finn asks. “Let’s check the pool and then figure out what to do next.”
We walk through the pool doors. There are a few older people swimming, but no sign of Ernesto. I sigh in worry.
“We’ll find him,” Finn reassures me, placing his hand on my back once again. Emerson grins and nods to me. As soon as he realizes what he’s doing, he pulls it away.
“Again, I’m sorry.”
“Finn, please don’t think that I—”
“Maybe we should try calling him again?” Finn suggests, cutting me off.
Kel pulls out his phone, pushes a button, and holds the phone to his ear.
“Where could he have gone?” Emerson asks. “I don’t understand why—”
“Shh,” Finn says, leaning in and holding up a finger to her. “Does anyone else hear that?”
“Voicemail,” Kel sighs.
“Call him again.”
Kel pushes the button. I have to strain, but Finn’s right.
“I hear it,” I whisper.
We move as a group. Kel keeps calling and we can hear the ringing getting closer and closer. We round the corner and face lockers in the pool area.
“So either he’s here or one of these old geezers stole his phone,” Kel says as he cracks his knuckles.
“Calm down, macho man. What else is here besides a pool?” Emerson asks as she holds up the map. We all crowd around it and I get a whiff of Finn’s cologne. Why does he have to smell so good?
“There’s a hot tub outside these doors,” she states and our eyes collectively travel to the far corner.
We move together and push open the double doors. There’s a large group of women in the hot tub. It’s snowing and they’re all laughing. Smack dab in the middle is one shirtless man with his back facing us.
“Ernesto?” Kel shouts.
He turns around and smiles, waving a cigar and a glass of wine in the air. “Mís amigos!”
Finn sighs, Kel laughs, and I roll my eyes. Emerson isn’t as quiet.
“Are you fucking kidding me? Where in the hell have you been for the last twenty-four hours?”
Ernesto’s smile quickly fades.
“You didn’t go to training and you didn’t join us to eat dinner. I texted. I called you and you didn’t answer. I mean, you could have responded in Spanish. You had to know I was texting. We all missed our flight because of you and we find you here? In a hot tub, having the time of your life while we panic and worry you’ve been kidnapped or worse yet, you’re dead? You have a lot of fucking nerve!”
One of the girls taps him on the shoulder. “Is this your wife?”
Emerson stomps her foot and screams, “Get out of that fucking hot tub right now!”
All the girls clamber out as quickly as possible and run into the building. Ernesto hangs his head low and grimaces.
He stands in front of Emerson and she places her hands on her hips.
“Lo siento,” he says quietly.
“I don’t know what the fuck that means. But it’d better be ‘I’m an asshole and I’ll never worry you again.’”
Ernesto somberly walks back into the building. I’m shivering from the cold. Finn removes his jacket and places it over my shoulders. Always the gentleman, even when he hates me.
After Ernesto dresses, we make our way to the front desk to claim our luggage. If we hurry, we might be able to make our flight.
The drive to the airport is slow. The roads are a mess. Security takes forever and the line is never-ending. We finally get through and have to run to our gate.
We arrive out of breath and in shambles to an empty gate and no plane.
Finn checks the time.
“What the fuck?” Kel shouts a bit too loudly.
Emerson takes a seat. She doesn’t look good. She’s really pale.
“Let me ask someone,” Finn says, holding up a hand to an impatient Kel.
He walks over to a desk attendant, who looks a little too pleased to be talking to him, if you ask me.
I can’t hear what she’s saying, but I see Finn’s shoulders slump. He points to the computer and she types something. He leans on his hand and shakes his head. He chuckles lightly then nods to her, saying something before making his way back to us.
“What did she say?” I ask.
“Our flight has been canceled due to weather. All the flights out of here have been canceled. We’re stranded.”
“Do you want a glass of water?” I ask Emerson.
She shakes her head.
“I guess we can go back to the resort and see if we can get a room.”
“But we have work tomorrow. I have a big meeting,” Kel says in a huff.
“What other choice do we have?” Finn replies.
Emerson starts typing on her phone. “It’s eight hours if we drive.”
We collectively spin toward her.
“I’m not staying here. I need to get home.” She pushes up from the seat like it hurts to move. “I’m renting a car. You’re welcome to come with me or not. But I’m not staying here another second.”
She slowly ambles away from us as we stare at each other.
“I’m not letting her drive alone. What’s eight hours among friends?” Kel says with a shrug before rushing to catch up with her. Ernesto follows. Finn and I stand, staring at each other.
“I don’t think Em is feeling very well.”
“I saw that,” Finn replies with concern.
“Even if they go with her, she’ll still have to drive most of the way on her own,” I begin. “Kel doesn’t have his license. I don’t even know if Ernesto reads English.”
He nods.
“I know the idea of being cooped up with me in a car again probably disgusts you, but can we do this, one last time?” I lower my head in fear of his response.
He lifts my chin with his fingers. “You could never disgust me. Ever. Let’s get this carpool reunion started.”
An hour later, we’re settled in an SUV that Finn insisted on paying for with his credit card.
Emerson threw up in the parking lot. She’s as white as a ghost and doesn’t want to talk. It’s so unlike her. I’m worried sick.
Finn insists on taking the first shift and out of habit, we take our usual places in the car. The man at the rental place said we were crazy for trying to drive in this weather, but Finn assured him we’d be fine.
It’s dead silent in the car. Everyone is nervous as Finn tries to maneuver onto the road.
“Maybe this was a mistake,” I whisper to him.
“We’ll be fine. I promise.”
Kel keeps glancing over at Emerson. Her eyes are closed and she’s leaning on the window. I can tell he’s worried about her too.
Finn’s GPS advises us to stay off the highway. There’s a major pile-up and traffic isn’t moving. It reroutes us onto ba
ckroads.
“Finn, really. I’m scared. Look at this snow.”
“This is nothing. In New York we’d call this a dusting.”
“But you never drove in New York,” I add.
“Yes, but I watched a lot of people do it.”
I give him a look he seems to recognize and he laughs. “It’s why I insisted on all-wheel drive. We’ll be fine. Cars like this were made for snow travel.”
Every once in a while, Emerson moans in her sleep. It scares the shit out of us. My leg starts tapping and Finn reaches over and places his hand on my knee.
“Stop worrying.”
His touch instantly calms and excites me. When he starts to recoil, I place my hand over his to keep it there.
He smirks. “I think I’d better keep two hands on the wheel.”
“Oh, right.”
I feel the blush in my cheeks so I turn my face to the window. I’m such an idiot.
After about ten minutes, the GPS service on the car says “service interrupted” and Finn checks his phone. “No service out here, I guess. If I remember correctly, we’re on this road for another forty miles then we should run into the expressway again. I’m sure we’ll pick up service as soon as we’re out of BFE.”
“BFE?” I question, tilting my head.
He smirks. “Butt Fuck Egypt.”
“Oh right.” I laugh as if I’d heard it before.
After about an hour on the road, I start to think Finn was right. He’s doing a great job and we’re moving at a slow but steady pace. I let loose a deep breath and relax my shoulders in my seat.
Then POP.
There’s a loud noise and the car begins to swerve all over the road. Lucky for us it’s deserted or else we may have hit someone.
Finn does his best to gain control, but we spin a bit and end up in a ditch. The whole thing probably only lasted a few seconds, but it seemed like an eternity.
“Is everyone alright?” Finn asks as he spins back to check.
“Yeah, man. What happened?” Kel asks.
Confessions of a Carpool Captive Page 18