Finn rushes to answer it. A second later, he’s stretching the cord and bringing the phone to Emerson with a smile. It stops about two feet from her.
“Shit,” he says.
“Put her on speakerphone,” Johnny Kennedy shouts from the back corner. He’s in a rocking chair with Kelly on his lap.
Finn hits the button and Julie’s voice permeates the room.
“Emee? Can you hear me?”
“Oh God, Jules, I tried to wait, but he wants out. He wants to be born. I’m so sorry!”
“Baby, listen to me. You’ve got this, okay? Just like we practiced.”
Emerson nods her head. “I need you, Jules. I can’t do this alone.”
“I’m right here and from what you’ve told me about this group, you’ve never been alone since you met them.”
Emerson glances around at us and tries to smile as another contraction hits.
“Push, Em. Push!” Ernesto shouts.
“Do it, babe. Bring our baby into this world.”
Emerson bears down and pushes hard.
Ernesto laughs. “Almost, Em. Give me one more big one.”
“Julie!” she shouts.
“I’m here, Emee. I’m here!”
Emerson screams out as she gives it her all. A second later, we hear the tiny cries of a new baby.
Ernesto grabs a towel and I rush over to help him.
“It’s a girl. You have a daughter!” he announces proudly.
We can hear Julie sobbing on the phone. “You did it, babe. You did it! I love you so much, Em.”
“I love you too, Jules. I love you too.”
Ernesto wraps her in a blanket and hands her to Emerson.
“Oh my God. She’s beautiful.”
“Of course she is! She’s you,” Julie replies.
“Do you want me to cut the cord?” Ernesto asks.
Emerson gazes at each one of us and then back down at her daughter. “Can you all do it, together?”
Tears are rolling down my face as we put our hands on top of each other and Ernesto squeezes the scissors.
He clamps it off with a sterilized chip clip.
“I’m going to the airport. I’ll see you soon, okay?” Julie says.
“Okay. We’ll see you soon!” Emerson beams.
After a few minutes, Emerson turns to Kel. “Do you want to hold her?”
“Me? You’d trust me with her?” he asks.
“I’d trust you with my life,” she responds.
Kel gently takes her in his arms and his face melts into a pile of mush. “Hey there, little lady. I’m your Uncle Kel. Your momma and I knew each other once a long time ago and I thought she was cool even then. I never thought I’d see her again until fate stepped in and brought us back together. She’s been a big part of my life these last few weeks. I’d say she gets me better than anyone. She’s probably even my best friend.” He glances up to Emerson and she nods. “I’m never gonna let anyone hurt either one of you.”
The tears pour down my cheeks and I feel Finn’s arm slide around me. I turn into him and he holds me while I cry. He’s always there when I need him. At first, I cry because I feel happy and emotional, but now that I’m in his arms, I cry for what I lost. I want him back. I need to get him back.
An hour later, the ambulance finally arrives, along with a police car and a tow truck. The paramedics take the baby and check her vitals, telling Emerson she appears perfectly healthy, but that they’ll have a doctor check her once they get to the hospital.
“Thank you, Mr. Kennedy,” Emerson says as they wheel her to the door. “I’m really sorry about your couch.”
He waves at her. “Are you kidding? I was meaning to get a new one anyway. This is the most excitement I’ve had in a very long time. So thank you.”
As soon as we say goodbye to Emerson, Ernesto and I finish cleaning up. I walk back into the room to pick up the last few towels and I see Finn handing Mr. Kennedy a wad of cash. He tries to tell him no, but I can tell from Finn’s expression that he’s insistent. Mr. Kennedy takes the money and Finn pats him on the arm.
The officer stomps the snow off his feet. “I finished my report and the tow truck driver has your car back on the road. He can tow it to the nearest service center, but I doubt you’ll find anyone open.”
“Do you think we can get a ride from one of you?” Finn asks.
“I wish I could help ya, but I’ve got three more calls that need attention. The driver has a double cab. I bet he’d be willing to take you.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“He’s headed back this way to get your information. He should be here in a few minutes. You all take care and stay warm.” He tips his hat and goes back to his car.
The driver knocks on the door a few minutes later and agrees to drive us to a hotel near the service station.
Everyone is exhausted and quiet the whole ride back. I sit in the back with Ernesto and Kel. Finn takes the front with the driver.
An hour or so later, we arrive at a hotel. We’re thankful they have rooms for us. Ernesto and Kel agree to share a room. I glance over to Finn and he requests two additional rooms. I was stupid to think there would be a chance in hell he’d ever want to stay with me.
As I’m getting my key, I notice Finn on his phone. I can’t hear what he’s saying and I wonder who he’s speaking with. His face is intensely focused. Maybe it’s work.
We slowly trudge down the hall to our rooms. It’s almost one a.m., and everyone looks it.
“I called the airline,” Finn announces. “It looks like the first flight out of here with available seats is at ten a.m. I’m planning to be on it. If you all want to join me, I suggest you call the airline.”
“Thanks, man,” Kel says.
“Thank you, Finn,” I reply.
He nods his head and opens the door to his room across the hall from mine.
I open my door and step inside, immediately glancing back toward him, ready to ask him if we can talk. His door is already closed.
My head falls as I shut my door. I need to talk to him. I know it’s late, but I can’t wait anymore.
I take my key card and make my way across the hall. I take a deep breath and knock on his door. For a second, I don’t think he’s going to answer, but he does.
“Is everything alright?” he asks.
“Can we talk?”
“It’s really late. Can we do this another time?”
“Please?”
He opens his door to me and I step inside, wringing my hands nervously.
“I’m sorry,” I blurt out. “I was wrong to leave you that way.”
He closes his eyes briefly then nods his head. “It’s okay. I understand.”
“You do?” I question.
“I thought I knew you and I was wrong. The fact is, we’re too different to be together. I would have never been able to walk away from you and it was easy for you to leave me.”
I shake my head repeatedly. “No, it wasn’t easy. I just… I can’t explain what I was thinking, but I know it was fucked up. I run away when I should stay. I push people away when I really want to hold them close.”
He scrubs his hand over his face. “I’ve given this a lot of thought. I know I pushed you from the beginning. I pushed too hard. Begging you to ride to work with me was my first mistake. You couldn’t stand me and I wormed my way in. It was wrong of me to think you could ever love me.”
“But… I…” Words escape me. I want to say the words out loud, but I’m scared. “I do… The thing is, I do.”
He huffs. “See, there you go, saying what you think will fix things in the moment. For now. In an hour or maybe a day, you’ll find another reason it can’t work. When I get too close, you’ll shove me away again. You think you want me because of this friendship thing we all have, but the truth is, Liz, you’re one of those people who’s better off alone.”
He walks to the door and turns back to face me. “You don’t need or want me. You’ve ne
ver needed me. It’s always been me that needed you. You’re always going to run and I can’t be there waiting for you anymore. I never wanted to change you. I just wanted to be on a road with you, going somewhere. But I can’t fix what’s broken inside you. I can’t take you where you don’t want to go.”
He opens his door and stands with his hand on the frame. “Goodnight, Liz.”
“Finn, please, let me explain—”
“I think you said all you needed to say the night you left me. Goodnight.”
I slowly step into the hall and he closes his door behind me.
Once I’m inside my room, I gaze at my bed and think of climbing under the covers and crying myself to sleep. But I won’t. I’m not going to cry and tell myself what I think I need to hear to make it okay. That was the old me. I screwed up and now I have to make it right. I need to show Finn the new me. I have changed.
I don’t want to be alone anymore. I want a car full of people. I want to sing songs and talk about my day. I want to fall asleep in his arms and wake up to his smile. I changed because I didn’t know what was missing. He showed me what more meant and now I can’t live without it. I won’t.
I thought I was happy before I met him. But that was just a story I told myself. I told myself a lot of stories.
Walking to my bag, I pull out my blue notebook. I know just how I’m going to prove to him that he’s wrong. I do need him. I needed him before I ever met him. I have to show him that I haven’t been running from him. I’ve been running from me. This notebook will be my confession.
I make sure I book the same flight as Finn and I’m at the front desk way too early. I only have one shot at this and I’m not going to blow it.
He’s yawning as he makes his way to the clerk.
“Good morning!” I say, smiling brightly.
He squints and purses his lips. I laugh because I know him. He knows I’m never cheery in the morning and he’s suspicious.
I wink at the front desk clerk and he nods his head to me when Finn isn’t looking.
“Checking out,” Finn says.
“Certainly, sir. Oh, there was a problem with your credit card. Could you come to the back office with me for a moment so we can clear this up?”
“What kind of problem?” he asks.
“Let me show you. Right this way.”
Finn takes the handle of his luggage.
“I’ll watch it. Just go,” I tell him.
He nods and follows the clerk into the back room.
I don’t know how much time I have so I get to work fast. I place Finn’s luggage on the ground and quickly unzip it. I pull my notebook out of my bag and make sure the letter I wrote him is firmly attached to it. I place it on top of one of his dress shirts. I start to zip it, but stop. Unzipping it again, I lift his shirt and smell it, rolling my eyes back in my head. I decide to take it to keep me company in case this plan doesn’t work and I need to think of another one.
I pat my notebook as if I’m burping it, blow it a kiss, and say a quick prayer. Zipping his suitcase and standing it back up, I stuff his shirt into my bag.
I’m a thief, but I don’t care. Hopefully we’ll laugh about it someday.
The clerk and Finn walk back to the counter. I had a minute to spare. He did well. I give him the thumbs-up behind Finn’s back and he smiles.
“What happened?” I feign curiosity, rolling back and forth on my toes.
“They had the wrong number on file. Some kind of system glitch. It’s fine now.”
I nod my head.
Thank God the desk clerk was willing to listen to my story or this plan would have never worked. Now I just need Finn to read. I hope he’s willing to take one more risk.
It’s been two days. Two of the longest days of my life. I haven’t heard a word from Finn and I’m starting to lose hope. Maybe he didn’t read my letter. Maybe he crumpled it up and threw it away, tossing my notebook in the garbage with it.
I tap my foot at my desk nervously. Every time my phone pings with a text, I jump. They’ve all been from Emerson.
She’s been sending me pics of the baby. Julie met her at the hospital the next day as soon as she could get a flight. They kept them both at the hospital to make sure everything was okay. They’re coming home tonight. I’m supposed to go over to see her after work. I can’t wait to see the baby. She won’t tell me her name until we’re face to face. I wonder if Finn will be there.
I stare at the papers on my desk. I’m falling behind because I can’t focus. Centering my phone on a pile, I pull up the picture I took of the letter and read it for the hundredth time. Rereading it is all that’s keeping me sane.
Finn,
I know this is odd, but I’m asking you to take a risk. Please read this! Read the whole letter and the notebook too. You told me that I was one of those people who is better off alone. That’s the furthest thing from the truth. You’re usually brilliant and right on track, but for once I can tell you, you’re wrong.
These pages are filled with every thought I had from the moment I saw you on the side of the road until the last night at the hotel. It’s every feeling I had about you. Everything you did to make me hate you and everything you did to make me love you. I do love you, Finn. I love you more than I was even willing to admit to myself.
If you had asked me a month ago if I needed anyone, I would have said absolutely not and it would have been the truth. But then I met you. You saw through me even when I put up wall after wall to keep you out. You did get me, even better than I got myself. It scared me. I was afraid to let anyone in because every time I had, I ended up hurt. I knew you had the power to destroy me. You’re unlike any man I’ve ever known.
You were patient and kind even when I wasn’t. You made me feel things I’d never felt before. You made me need you and that scared me even more. I do need you, Finn. But I don’t need you to fix me. I fixed myself.
I thought I was happy being alone. I’ve been alone for most of my life. But then I wasn’t, and I didn’t even know what I was missing until you showed me. You took me on a road I didn’t think I belonged on. It turns out I want to be on that road more than anything, as long as it’s with you.
I want you to challenge me and help me see the world through your eyes. I want to see your crooked, sexy smile every morning and I want it to be the last thing I see every night. I want you to wink at me so I can pretend it annoys me. I want to feel your hand on the small of my back, because as long as you’re behind me, I know I can keep moving forward. I want you to open all the doors, always, because it’s what you do. You open doors. You opened the door to my heart.
That day I left was the worst mistake of my life. Please give me another chance. I know there are no guarantees. I know this thing with us might not work, but it’s a chance I’m willing to take. Like your brother said, it’s not how fast you get there, it’s the journey. Take a journey with me. Take one more risk. I promise I won’t leave unless we’re leaving together.
Yes, it’s love. Not for now. For always.
Lizzy
Liz, Beth, Bethany, Elizabeth, Betsie, Eliza, and Lizbeth
(I don’t care what you call me, as long as you call me.)
I close my eyes. I should have said more. I should have told him sooner. What if he doesn’t read my stories? What if he doesn’t believe me? I scroll right on my phone and see the pictures Emerson sent me from New Year’s Eve. I stare at Finn’s face. I hope I haven’t lost him forever.
Sitting up straighter at my desk, I check my resolve. I’ll give him one more day. One more day and then I’ll ask him. No, I’ll go to his house and beg him to talk to me. I’ll figure it out. I’ll stand on the side of the road with a blow-up doll to get his attention if I have to.
Gloria hurries around my desk. “You’re not going to believe this.”
“What?”
“Sam Wittaker is waiting for you in the conference room. She said she’d like to speak to you.”
My eyes pop
out of my head. “Samantha Wittaker, from the big guy’s office?”
“Yep. Holy shit, what did you do?”
I shake my head as I stand and straighten my skirt. “I… I don’t know.”
Making my way to the conference room, I notice eyes staring at me from every direction as chairs spin to watch me. I walk a little taller and smile. Fake it ‘til you make it, right? Isn’t that what they said in training?
I knock on the door.
“Ms. Wittaker?”
She smiles. She’s even prettier in person than she was on TV in the reality show, The Fabulist.
“Call me Sam. Come on in.”
I close the door behind me and she directs me to sit in a chair with my back to the door. She sits at the head of the table.
“I’ll get right to the point. I know you’re probably freaking out a little bit. I saw how everyone reacted when I asked for you.”
I nod my head.
“I’m just another person, there’s no need to be nervous. All this stuff is new for me too.”
She smiles as she leans her elbows on the table and I relax a little. She seems really nice. I guess the rumors about her temper weren’t true.
“When I first started working here, it was under the condition that I had a bit of freedom when it came to new projects. I don’t know if you heard, but I opened up my own bookstore here in L.A. I love books. I love stories. Different stories. Ones that make me laugh or make me cry. That’s exactly what your story did. I loved every second of it.”
I twist my head and lean forward. “Did you say my story?”
She smiles and reaches into her laptop bag, pulling out my blue notebook.
I jump from my seat. “Where did you get that?”
“I gave it to her.”
I turn and Ernesto is standing behind me. “It’s fabulous, Liz.” He leans around me and motions to Sam. “No pun intended with the fabulous thing.”
She nods appreciatively.
I glance back and forth between them. “That wasn’t meant for you to read. Either of you. How did you get it?” I ask Ernesto, afraid of his response.
Confessions of a Carpool Captive Page 20