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Inspector Kirby and Harold Longcoat

Page 24

by Ian Martyn


  thirty-eight

  ‘So how far is it?’ Kirby asked as he walked along the road with Connie. Shirley had taken the car with Harold, Geraldo and Susie.

  ‘Half a mile, that’s all.’

  To his right, across the fields and silhouetted against the skyline, Kirby could see the unmistakable outline of Dunstanburgh Castle. Birds were singing in the hedgerows and the odd seagull was calling overhead. The sun was warm on his face and a faint breeze ruffled his hair. ‘It seems so peaceful,’ he said.

  ‘It is. I love it here.’

  ‘Sometimes as a copper you forget that most of the world is peaceful, most of the time. With a few exceptions of course.’

  Connie shielded her eyes and followed his gaze. She touched his arm. ‘Maybe you need to take a break occasionally.’

  Kirby looked across at Connie as she smiled at him. He smiled back. ‘You’ve been talking to my mother again.’

  Connie laughed. ‘Perhaps, but it doesn’t make it any less true. As I said last time, she worries about you, Jonah, that’s all. It’s what mothers do. Also, she’s a very perceptive lady your mum, not much passes her by.’

  ‘Oh I know that. The “little old lady” routine is just a front. I can’t help thinking she would have made a great master criminal.’

  Connie laughed again, a joyous sound to Kirby’s ears that made him think he spent too much time mixing with people who didn’t laugh enough, at least not in the genuine sense.

  ‘I know what you mean. But there’s too much good in your mum for that.’

  ‘Hmm, perhaps.’

  ‘Well we’re here,’ Connie said as she turned off the road and through a gate on to a narrow track.

  Kirby found himself wishing the walk had lasted a little longer. Ahead and on a small rise was a neat double-fronted cottage which sat in the countryside with the calm assurance of belonging. Over the door and across one of the windows was a red rose that seemed to glow in the afternoon sun. To one side was stone outbuilding that appeared to have been converted into two small units. ‘Is that for your, er… guests?’

  Connie smiled. ‘Yes, and I’ve a room inside for guests as well. The offer’s still there. You know, when this is all over, you might like to come out for a few days and we could chat?’

  ‘Chat?’

  ‘You know what I mean.’

  Kirby smiled and shook his head. ‘I know, mother again. She wants me to talk about Jeanie and everything. Honestly, I’m fine. I miss her of course, but… I’m fine.’

  ‘It couldn’t do any harm. And it’d keep your mum happy.’

  This time it was Kirby’s turn to laugh as he held up his hands in mock surrender. ‘OK, OK. After this is over I’ll think about it.’

  Connie smacked him on the arm. ‘Just don’t forget.’

  ‘Somehow I don’t think that’ll be an option.’

  Connie grinned at him. ‘Come on, hopefully they’ve got the kettle on.’

  In the kitchen, Harold was sat nursing a mug of tea and Geraldo was stuffing cake into his mouth.

  ‘I can highly recommend the cake,’ Geraldo mumbled through a mouthful, smiling up at Connie. ‘Lemon drizzle, rather splendid.’

  ‘Thanks,’ said Connie. ‘Did no one think plates might be a good idea?’ she added, looking at the crumbs scattered all over the wooden table.

  ‘Ah, yes,’ Geraldo said. ‘Sorry about that. Didn’t want to go opening cupboards and all that.’

  Connie shook her head. ‘Never mind. Where’s Susie?’

  Harold put down his mug. ‘Outside showing Shirley, er, Constable Barker around.’

  She nodded. ‘So what d’you think, Harold?’

  ‘I think we need to know more about what’s going on.’

  Connie took a deep breath. ‘So do I.’

  Harold sipped his tea. ‘You don’t need to come, Connie.’

  She shook her head. ‘I know I’ve tried to leave it behind, but it’s still home, it still means something to me and there are people there that I care about.’

  ‘Still.’

  Connie nodded. ‘Also, maybe it’s about time Susie learnt about where we come from.’

  As she said the last few words, Susie came into the kitchen with Shirley following her. ‘Learnt about what, Mother?’ She frowned. ‘So are you finally going to tell me everything?’

  Connie sighed and nodded. ‘I know, I should have tried to explain it all before now. I’m sorry, it never seemed to be the right time. And it’s not like telling you I’m Scottish or something like that.’

  Susie’s frown turned into a scowl and Connie glanced across at Kirby. ‘Apologies, sort of a family joke.’

  Susie crossed her arms. ‘This is no joking matter, Mother.’

  ‘No I know, dear, I…’

  ‘Whoa, whoa,’ Kirby said, banging a palm on the table. ‘I am still here and I am the police inspector, therefore, at least nominally, supposed to be in charge. So I’ll decide who’s going where. Or at least I will when I know where it is we, or whoever, is supposed to be going.’

  Connie looked across at Harold, who glanced at Geraldo, who contented himself with another slice of cake.

  ‘Well,’ said Harold. ‘I think we need to go to the other side.’ Connie nodded her agreement.

  Kirby had a good idea of what “the other side” might be, but thought he’d ask anyway, just so he could get his head around it. ‘And by that you mean?’

  ‘You know, my other side.’

  ‘I thought that’s what you meant.’

  ‘You should come too.’

  ‘Me?’

  ‘Yes, then you’ll understand a bit more of what you’re up against.’

  Kirby nodded. Much as he didn’t like the idea, he had to agree that one thing worse than knowing what you were up against, was not knowing what you’re up against. Especially when you’d had the chance to find out what it was and turned it down. ‘Alright, Harold, you and me then.’

  Connie laid a gentle hand on his arm. ‘We’re coming as well. I’m sorry, Jonah, but this is Marianne and nobody knows her better than I do. Also, no matter what I think of it, as I said, it is my home as well.’

  Kirby huffed. ‘Alright, you, me and Harold and that’s it.’

  ‘And Susie.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Don’t worry, she’ll be safe, I’ll see to that.’

  ‘No… I…’

  Susie folded her arms again and gave him the sort of glare that he imagined she’d learnt from Connie.

  ‘Sorry, Jonah,’ Connie said. ‘But it’s about time I let Susie see her heritage.’ She glanced at Susie. ‘And if Sarah’s there, Susie might be important.’ Susie smiled, her arms remaining crossed.

  Kirby gave in, feeling he might as well be seen to agree. ‘Fine. So how does this work?’

  ‘First thing tomorrow,’ Harold suggested.

  Kirby held his jacket open. ‘Er, I hate to be practical about this, but clothing? I’m hardly dressed for trekking through… well I’m hardly dressed for it.’

  ‘When we get there, you’ll need to change anyway,’ Harold said with a half-smile that Kirby didn’t like the look of.’

  ‘Into what?’

  ‘Something that’ll blend in.’ There was that half smile again. Kirby was liking this idea less and less.

  ‘And I always have spare underwear. You never know what my guests’ll forget.’

  Kirby was out of practical objections. ‘Great.’

  ‘That’s settled then. I’ll get the beds made up,’ Connie said. ‘Come on, Susie, you can give me a hand.’

  The pair hurried out of the kitchen before, Kirby thought, he had a chance to change his mind.

  Kirby turned his attention to Geraldo, who was still eating cake. Geraldo stopped mid-chew and his eyes widened. ‘Not me, no way!’

  ‘Thank heavens for that then,’ Kirby said. ‘Shirley, you can take the car back and drop Geraldo off while you’re at it.’

  ‘Ah, sir!’ />
  Kirby put his head in his hands and then looked up again. ‘I’m sorry, Constable, I can’t drag you into this. Especially since it’s what you might call a little out of our jurisdiction.’

  ‘Begging your pardon, sir, but I am part of this. And what if something happened to you?’

  Kirby frowned.

  ‘Alright, sir, nothing’s going to happen to you.’ She paused and then opened her eyes wide as if a thought had just occurred to her. ‘But… I mean, what if it did? What about officers not going alone into risky situations and all that? And… and, who’s going to look after you, take notes and all that? Besides, how’ll you get back if I’ve taken the car? Also, my Barry plays five-a-side with his mates Thursdays and then goes off to the pub. So…’

  ‘Alright!’

  Whoo, hoo,’ Shirley said, rubbing her hands together and jumping up and down like a child on Christmas morning.

  ‘One thing, Constable.’

  ‘Sir?’

  ‘No notes.’

  ‘Sir.’ She smiled.

  ‘I suppose I’d better get the bus back to Alnwick then,’ Geraldo said, glancing at Kirby and Shirley with a pleading look on his face.

  ‘Good idea,’ Kirby said.

  ‘I tell you what,’ Shirley said. ‘I’ll go and help Connie and Susie with the beds.’ She also hurried out of the kitchen; again Kirby suspected in case he changed his mind. Kirby got up from the table and grabbed a piece of cake. Taking a bite as he wandered out into the front garden he had to admit, it was rather splendid. As he stared across at the castle in the distance, he wondered what he was doing, then wondered about his own sanity. Or perhaps this was all a dream, a nightmare perhaps? Harold joined him and he concluded that even his mind couldn’t dream up all this.

  ‘Don’t worry, Jonah. Connie’s right about her and Susie.’

  ‘And Shirley?’

  Harold smiled. ‘I know a thing or two about people and she’s a good ’un that one.’

  ‘Great. Tell you what, let’s make a real outing of it,’ Kirby said as he watched a seagull ride the breeze over the top of the cottage. He was sure it looked down at him before screeching twice as if to mock him. He glanced across at Harold, who was also watching the bird as it headed back towards the coast. ‘Yes, why don’t we take a picnic, a rug and lashings of ginger beer and all that while we’re at it?’

  Harold shook his head. ‘I’ll ask, but I don’t think Connie’ll have any ginger beer. We could try the village shop. I don’t stock it meself, not much call for it these days. Although out here you never know.’

  Kirby waited for Harold to finishing digging before giving him a look that was so black all that was missing was a thundercloud over his head.

  ‘Oh, I see.’

  That evening Connie and Susie rustled up a wonderful meal of tasty cold beef and cheese, with salad out of the garden, along with some wonderful bread. He’d eaten in some fancy restaurants in his time but somehow this was as good as it got. There was even a bottle or two of wine. As Kirby looked around the table it struck him as strange. Here was as diverse a group of people he could possibly imagine. Well, a week or so ago that he couldn’t have imagined, all sitting together enjoying good food, wine and conversation. Despite whatever might be to come, there were smiles and laughter. When it all boiled down to it, they were all just people, keen to have a good time and get on with each other, delighting in each other’s company. Why couldn’t it always be like that? It didn’t matter where you came from or what you did, most people just wanted to have a good time and be happy. However, that was the problem, it was only most people. As he knew only too well, there were people for whom others’ happiness was irrelevant, or who were somehow jealous of that happiness, and set out to spoil it. And that’s where he came in. It was his job to make sure they didn’t, or at least if they did, they didn’t get to do it again.

  After the meal, Kirby wandered outside cradling a mug of coffee in his hands. The setting sun cast a warm glow over the world, the same warm glow he used to feel when he was on holiday with Jeanie. Although this was far from a holiday. Perhaps it was the wine that made him think of Jeanie and their times away together. He could feel her next to him, sense her smiling, which made him smile in return. He heard footsteps.

  ‘Sorry, sir. Didn’t mean to disturb you. Just fancied a bit of the good old country air. It’s a lovely evening.’

  Kirby turned and smiled. ‘It’s fine, Shirley. I was just miles away for a few moments, that’s all. And yes, it is a lovely evening. Tomorrow it’s… I was going to say back to the real world, however, I have a feeling it’ll be anything but.’

  ‘I guess so, sir.’

  Kirby glanced back, the sound of voices were drifting out of the open door. He frowned. ‘Tell me, Constable, what am I?’ Seeing the confusion on Shirley’s face, he added, ‘In the police sense, that is.’

  Shirley’s expression lightened. ‘Oh I see, an inspector, sir.’ She nudged him. ‘And not a bad one at that, if I may say so.’

  ‘Thank you. Let’s just go with that thought.’ He waved a hand to encompass the cottage. ‘And what should that mean here, now?’

  ‘Er, that you’re in charge?’ Shirley ventured

  Thank you, Constable. I just needed reminding.’

  thirty-nine

  When Kirby woke, the sun was creeping past the gaps in the curtains sending three spears of light across the room. He looked at his watch, seven-thirty; that was a change. He lay there for a few minutes thinking how strange and pleasant it was to hear nothing but the sound of birds and the odd sheep. No cars or the rattle and thump of lorries as they drove down the main road. He got up and pulled back the curtains. Clouds were threatening to hide the sun, and in the distance darker ones seemed to be gathering out to sea, promising rain later.

  Each of Connie’s little guest rooms had their own bathroom. Having showered, he put on the clean underwear which, as Connie had promised, he found in one of the drawers. She’d even found him a polo shirt that fit. The only problem was that it was pink and he wasn’t sure if he wore pink. Jeanie had bought him one or two pink shirts over the years. Eventually she’d given up when they remained in the drawer. They were still there.

  As he stepped outside, Kirby glanced at the next-door unit. The curtains were open and the lights off, so Harold must be up. Shirley had shared with Susie. Coming from the cottage was a faint and enticing smell of fresh coffee. Being a good copper, he followed his nose.

  ‘Sleep well?’ Harold said as Kirby entered the kitchen.

  ‘Ish. It’s almost too quiet.’

  ‘I know what you mean.’

  ‘Where are…’ he hesitated a moment before adding, ‘the girls?’ It sounded just a little too informal, as if this was some social gathering.

  Harold shrugged as he lathered butter and jam on a piece of toast. ‘Doing whatever it is they do in the morning.’

  Kirby dropped a piece of bread into the toaster, poured himself a mug of coffee and sat down opposite Harold. ‘So where exactly are we going?’

  ‘To start with, the Whin Sill, near Craster. After that, there’s not much point in me telling you because it won’t mean anything.

  Kirby was in mid-frown when Shirley came in. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a white blouse he presumed she must have borrowed from Susie. Her hair was loose about her face rather than being pulled back into her customary ponytail. It struck him that for the first time he was seeing her as a young woman, not just as a police officer. In reality, she wasn’t that much older than Susie or his daughter Anna for that matter. As he reflected on that it said something about Shirley’s professionalism, and then again perhaps something about his fixation with the job as well. You saw people every day without really knowing them. He made a mental note to allow for her comparative youth, well a little anyway.

  The toast popped. ‘Ooh, toast,’ Shirley said, snatching it out of the toaster and starting to butter it.

  ‘Er…’ Kirby
said, thinking he might need to revise his thoughts of a few moments ago.

  Shirley stopped with the piece half-way to her mouth. ‘Oh, sorry, sir, was this yours?’

  He smiled.

  Shirley blushed. ‘I’ll put some more in.’ She helped herself to some tea from a pot near the cooker, then sat at the table. ‘Nice shirt, sir. Pink suits you. Maybe not in the station though…’

  ‘No, perhaps not. Thank you, Constable.’

  Shirley smiled as she took another bite of toast. Susie then appeared with Connie.

  ‘Ooh, toast,’ Susie said.

  Shirley got up from her seat. ‘I’ll put some more in, sir.’

  When they’d all finished, Kirby helped Connie clear the plates and mugs, and stack them in the dishwasher. ‘I hope that’s OK? I know everyone has their own system.’

  Connie smiled. ‘It’ll do.’ She looked at her watch. ‘There’s a bus just after nine. It leaves from near the hall, so we need to be away in about fifteen minutes.’

  ‘We could take the car,’ Shirley volunteered.

  Connie shook her head. ‘Er well, we might not come out in the same place as we enter.’ She glanced at Harold, who nodded in agreement.

  ‘Oh,’ Shirley said. She leant towards Kirby. ‘A bus, sir?’

  ‘I know, Constable, the thought of using your actual public transport is a little strange, although I’m sure you’ll manage.’

  Shirley shuddered. ‘If you say so, sir.’

  The bus arrived as promised and Kirby found himself the first to get on with the others lining up behind him.

  ‘Family outing is it then?’ the driver greeted them.

  Kirby wasn’t sure what to call it, so settled on, ‘something like that.’

  ‘You paying for the lot?’

  Kirby glanced behind him at Harold, who smiled back. ‘Looks that way.’

  ‘That’s five at two pounds forty. Twelve quid please, sir.’

  As Kirby took out a tenner and fiddled in his pocket for the two pounds. Harold pushed past him.

  ‘Nice coat, mate,’ the driver said. ‘But won’t it get a bit hot and smelly?’

 

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