Castonbury Park 01 - The Wicked Lord Montague

by Carole Mortimer

  Lily was unsure if she had even remembered to breathe, for what had seemed to last for hours could in reality have only been a few brief seconds. She was now absolutely mortified that Mrs Lovell should have found her and Giles in such a compromising position.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Giles could only stare up at Lily in confusion as she slipped quickly out of his arms before standing to begin hurriedly collecting up her clothes.

  She pulled her chemise on over her head before releasing the long cascade of her hair from the neckline. ‘Surely it is obvious?’

  Giles sat up to rest his arm on one bent knee. ‘You cannot just dress and leave as if nothing has happened!’

  ‘I must leave now if I am to go and retrieve my bonnet and gloves from Mrs Lovell before returning to the vicarage in time for luncheon.’ She shook out her gown before stepping into it and pulling it up over her arms to settle it on her shoulders before reaching back to refasten the buttons. ‘And now that she has—has discovered the two of us together, I feel that I really should go and offer her at least some sort of explanation for—for what she has just witnessed.’ Her face was very pale in the sun-dappled gloom.

  ‘Would you like me to come with you?’

  ‘Certainly not!’ She turned to protest forcefully. ‘It will be…awkward enough, without having you present too!’

  Giles stood up abruptly. ‘We need to talk before you leave—’

  ‘Did you not hear me just say that I have to go immediately if I am to visit Mrs Lovell and return home in time to eat luncheon with my father?’ Lily avoided meeting Giles’s gaze as she stepped away to smooth her crumpled gown in preparation for emerging from what she had thought to be the privacy of the willow branches.

  ‘I heard you.’ His hands reached out to grasp her shoulders as she would have turned to leave. ‘Look at me, Lily,’ he instructed firmly. ‘I said look at me!’ He shook her slightly as she instead kept her gaze levelled on the silky dark hair covering his scarred and naked chest. A naked chest which Lily had so enjoyed kissing and caressing only minutes ago….

  But to raise her gaze to look at Giles’s face would, she knew, be to see the condemnation of his expression, and to look down lower, to where his shaft was still visibly semi-aroused against his body, would be even more embarrassing.

  How did one usually go about bringing an end to an encounter such as theirs had been? Lily had no experience upon which to base her actions; she only knew she found the aftermath of their spent passion to be awkward in the extreme.

  Her closest friends were Lady Kate and Lady Phaedra, the three women often confiding in one another, but once again Lily knew she absolutely could not discuss this with either of them!

  She shook her head. ‘As I am sure Mrs Lovell is only too well aware, it would only give rise to speculation if I were to return home without my bonnet and gloves. Surely we can talk another time, if you really feel we must.’

  His fingers tightened painfully on her shoulders. ‘Oh, I definitely feel that we must!’ he grated forcefully. ‘What on earth did you think you were doing?’ he added exasperatedly as he gave her another shake. ‘Damn it, Lily, did you not think it might be important to inform me that…that I would be your first lover?’

  ‘And why should I have told you that?’ Lily did look up at him now, her gaze wary.

  ‘Because I could have hurt you. More than I obviously did,’ he added.

  ‘I am not hurt, Giles,’ she assured softly. ‘You were…extremely considerate with me.’ Once again she could not meet his gaze. ‘I…enjoyed the experience very much.’ She had more than enjoyed it; for her, it had been a life-changing experience. But in such a way that she could not even bear to think about it now, let alone discuss it with this angrily impatient Giles.

  ‘You enjoyed—!’ Giles stared down at her in exasperation, still reeling from the shock of knowing that minutes ago he had taken Lily’s innocence. He had thought— Had assumed— Her enthusiastic response to his lovemaking, four days ago as well as today, had led him to believe…

  What had it led him to believe? That he had been right about her character all along, and that Lily had taken other lovers before him?

  Their actions today had shown him that those thoughts, beliefs and assumptions had been mistaken.

  He should have known, should have guessed the truth, when their conversation earlier today had succeeded in eliminating each and every one of the men living locally with whom Lily might possibly have been intimately involved in the past. His brother Edward. Sir Nathan. Even that rascal Judah Lovell.

  Yes, Giles should have realised the truth of Lily’s innocence, but he had not, and now she—

  ‘I have no idea what you are thinking behind that fierce scowl.’ Lily looked up at him warily in the dappled darkness. ‘But I trust that whatever it is, you do not intend to make any more foul or false accusations…?’

  Giles could feel the tension in her shoulders, as if she were preparing for a verbal blow. A blow she obviously expected him to deliver. ‘Why?’ he groaned huskily instead.

  She blinked long dark lashes. ‘Why what?’

  He frowned. ‘Why me?’

  She breathed softly. ‘I do not understand.’

  ‘You must!’ Giles could feel the rapid beat of her pulse beneath his fingertips as he looked searchingly into her eyes. ‘You are young and beautiful. Desirable—’

  ‘And totally unsuited to being anything more than wife to a man such as Sir Nathan Samuelson, or mistress to a man of my own choosing,’ she finished bluntly. ‘I chose you.’

  ‘You wish to take up the offer of becoming my mistress?’ Giles echoed incredulously.

  In truth, Lily had not thought beyond the here and now, beneath this willow with Giles. And, her own emotions aside—and the awkwardness of being discovered by Mrs Lovell—she could not in truth feel regret for the choice she had made.

  Well…she could perhaps have wished the embarrassment of their present conversation had not occurred.

  Her own emotions were something Lily would have plenty of time—hours, days, weeks, months ahead!—in which she might consider the folly of not having come to a realisation of those feelings earlier.

  For Giles’s part, she had no cause for complaint; as she had already stated, he had proven to be considerate as well as passionate in his attentions towards her. Everything and more, in fact, that any woman might wish for in a lover.

  As the pleasurable ache between Lily’s thighs surely testified!

  She straightened. ‘Could we not just agree that we both…enjoyed our time together, and leave it at that?’

  ‘No, we damn well—!’ Giles broke off his ferocious outburst as he saw the way Lily flinched at his vehemence. ‘Lily—’ he deliberately gentled his tone ‘—surely you cannot expect to…to give me your innocence, and then just walk away as if nothing has occurred?’

  ‘Why can I not?’

  ‘Because—’ Once again Giles had to make a deliberate effort to bite back his frustration with Lily’s calm composure. A composure he found all the more baffling because of his own lack of it! ‘I cannot talk to you when I am not even dressed!’ He moved to gather up his drawers, cursing under his breath as he pulled them on. ‘Damn it, Lily, can you not see that we at least must discuss what will happen now!’ He straightened impatiently.

  ‘I have told you of my intention to go and collect my bonnet and gloves from Mrs Lovell—’

  ‘I did not mean literally!’ Giles glared.

  Lily knew that, of course; she would just rather the two of them did not have this conversation, particularly now. Facing the curious Mrs Lovell already promised to be embarrassing enough! She also felt a little discomforted and damp between her thighs, and her legs were feeling decidedly unsteady.

  There was also, she realised, a heaviness where her heart should be….

  None of which she wished to reveal to this impatiently angry man who was the cause of that discomfort! ‘I do not have time f
or this now, Giles.’

  ‘When do you expect you will have time for it?’ he cut in harshly.

  Never, if Lily had her way. ‘Do you regret what happened?’

  His face darkened. ‘Of course I regret it!’

  Lily flinched at his vehemence. ‘Then there is nothing more to be said.’ She held her shoulders stiffly.

  His expression softened. ‘Lily—’

  ‘If you will excuse me?’ She avoided the hand he lifted with the obvious intention of grasping her arm. ‘I have Mrs Lovell to visit, and lunch to eat with my father.’ In her present mood, it would probably choke her! ‘And this afternoon I still have several things to do ahead of the well-dressing celebrations.’ Her back was straight and uninviting as she moved the branches of the willow aside.

  Giles’s expression was pained as he stood bare-chested beneath the shadows of the willow, knowing the evidence of their lovemaking was unmistakable for any who cared to look at Lily; her ebony curls fell in a loose tangle down the length of her spine, there was a slightly dreamy look to her eyes, and her lips looked full and a little swollen. There was also a slight redness to the skin visible above the scooped neckline of her gown, no doubt caused by the stubble upon Giles’s chin. ‘Lily, please—’

  ‘Goodbye, Giles.’ She spared him a last cursory glance before setting out along the riverbank, no doubt in the direction of Mrs Lovell’s campsite.

  Giles cursed the fact that he could not follow her without causing a scandal if he were seen by anyone dressed only in his breeches and with his own hair no doubt in disarray.

  Instead he returned to collect the rest of his clothes, only to bestow instead a frustrated punch of his fist into the trunk of the tree, uncaring—welcoming, even—the pain of the cuts and grazes he received to his knuckles for his trouble.

  If Lily seriously thought this was an end to their conversation then she was in for a sharp awakening!

  * * *

  Lily did not, as she had said she would, go straight to Mrs Lovell’s campsite. The tears that fell hotly down her cheeks prevented her from being in anyone’s company for some time after she had left Giles. Instead she managed to stumble blindly a safe distance away from the willow tree, making sure she was off the main path and collapsing beneath a tall oak, before allowing the deep sobs to rack her body.

  Giles was quite correct to ask her what on earth she had thought she was doing!

  Had she really thought that she might behave as so many gentlemen did, by taking her pleasure with Giles, without consequence? Oh, not the consequence of an unwanted pregnancy; she believed Giles when he assured her there would be no consequences of that nature. But had she really believed that she could make love with him and her emotions would remain unengaged?

  Had she not realised that her emotions must already be engaged for her to wish to make love with Giles in the first place?

  If she had not, then she was a fool. A blind, stupid fool.

  Because now she knew beyond a shadow of doubt that she had fallen in love with Giles Montague!

  No girlish infatuation—she was far too old for that—but a deep and abiding love.

  In these past few hours she had come to admire everything about him: his deep love for his family; his obvious bravery as a soldier; his caring and consideration for the people who lived and worked on the Castonbury estate, despite his earlier reluctance to assume his role as heir, even including the comfort and well-being of the transitory Mrs Lovell. And as for his looks… !

  Lily had only to gaze upon Giles’s harshly chiselled features and firmly muscled body for her pulse to race and her skin to feel hot and fevered!

  What must he think of her now?

  Did Giles hate and despise her for being the temptress he had thought her to be a year ago? More so, perhaps, because she had ultimately displayed that wantonness with him?

  How would she ever be able to face him again knowing how he must now despise her?

  She could not.

  She would not!

  She must find a way to leave Castonbury in the near future, and it must be in such a way that her father would find acceptable. For Lily would not, could not, remain in Castonbury and suffer the pain of seeing on a daily basis how Giles must now feel towards her.

  * * *

  Mrs Lovell looked up from poking her fire as Lily silently entered the campsite some minutes later, her sharp gaze roving critically over Lily’s dishevelled appearance. ‘Sit ye down, lass, an’ I’ll brew some tea.’

  Lily cast a wary look at Judah as he lazed on the other side of the fire. ‘I really cannot stop—’

  ‘I said sit ye down, lass. You, boy.’ She turned to her nephew. ‘Take the pail and go and collect some fresh water for the tea.’

  He rose languidly to his feet, his dark gaze fixed questioningly on Lily. ‘You look just like—’

  ‘And is it for you to comment on how a lady does or doesn’t look?’ His aunt gave him a disapproving glare.

  His handsome face flushed resentfully. ‘I was only saying—’

  ‘Well, don’t.’ Mrs Lovell thrust the bucket at him.

  Judah seemed distracted as he slowly took the bucket, his narrowed gaze still fixed on Lily as she stood at the edge of the campsite. ‘She looks different with her ‘air down like that. Almost as if she might be one of u—’

  ‘Will you just go and get the water, Judah Lovell, afore I clip yer ear for the second time today!’ his aunt rounded on him fiercely.

  Judah shot his aunt a resentful glare. ‘I’m going, ain’t I?’

  ‘Not as quick as I’d like, no.’ Mrs Lovell watched her nephew until he had sauntered well out of earshot. ‘Sit ye down, lass.’ She turned to Lily. ‘Before ye fall down,’ she added firmly as she straightened to collect up mugs for the tea.

  Lily sat. Or rather, she collapsed weakly onto one of the logs upended beside the fireside, but unable to feel any of the warmth emitted by its flames. It caused her to wonder if the ice about her heart was not taking over her whole body. She moistened dry lips before speaking. ‘I am sorry for being the cause of discord between you and your nephew—’

  ‘Ye ain’t,’ the old lady assured her bluntly. ‘I hadn’t set eyes on him for twenty years until he turned up here again—nor wanted to—and the sooner he goes off again about his own business the better I shall like it.’ Her expression was grim as she picked up a cloth to lift the kettle from over the fire.

  Lily blinked as the elderly lady poured the boiling water into the waiting teapot. ‘But I thought you sent Judah for more water?’

  ‘Menfolk has no place in our conversation. ‘Specially ones as nosey as Judah.’ Mrs Lovell frowned her disapproval in the direction her nephew had taken to the riverside.

  Lily chewed on her bottom lip. ‘I am sorry for—for what you saw earlier.’

  ‘Here’s your bonnet, gloves and hairpins.’ Mrs Lovell placed them beside Lily as she handed her a steaming mug of the hastily brewed tea. ‘Drink that down ye, lass, and maybe you’ll feel a little better.’

  Lily gave a choked and humourless laugh. ‘I somehow doubt that, Mrs Lovell.’

  ‘Nothing’s ever as bad as ye think it is.’ The elderly lady made herself comfortable on the stool facing Lily across the fire, her sharp gaze fixed on Lily’s face.

  ‘I believe this might possibly be worse, so much worse, than I think it is!’ she assured emotionally, but sipped her tea obediently anyway. But she could not taste the brew, nor did she feel any melting of that inner ice.

  Mrs Lovell eyed her curiously. ‘Do ye love him?’

  Lily glanced up and then as quickly looked away again as she saw the speculation in the other woman’s curiously sharp gaze. ‘Would a more pertinent question not be what Lord Giles’s feelings might now be towards me?’ She would not insult the elderly lady by even attempting to pretend she did not know exactly to whom Mrs Lovell was referring.

  ‘It’s obvious to anyone with eyes in their head that he’s fond of y
e.’ The older woman gave a dismissive snort. ‘And that you’re fond of him. You’d have to be stupid as well as blind not to see the way the two of ye were looking at each other when ye were here together a couple of days past.’

  ‘No—’

  ‘Oh, yes,’ the older woman confirmed with satisfaction. ‘So what’s got you so upset about it all that you’re as white as a ghost?’

  Lily gave a rueful shake of her head. ‘Do you really need to ask me that?’

  ‘Well, as long as there’ll be no chivvy as a result—’

  ‘There will not,’ Lily assured hastily.

  Mrs Lovell nodded. ‘Then I would say that the two of you were only doing what comes naturally.’

  Lily gave a slightly bitter laugh. ‘My behaviour today has been shocking, Mrs Lovell. Absolutely scandalous.’ She trembled slightly as she avoided meeting that shrewd hazel-coloured gaze. ‘I do not suppose you would care for a travelling companion when you leave Castonbury? No, I do not suppose you would.’ She answered her own question dully as the elderly woman looked taken aback by the request. ‘I am afraid I have been extremely stupid, Mrs Lovell, and must now find some way in which to salvage a scrap of my pride, at least.’

  ‘Well, you won’t succeed in doing that by running away.’ The older woman tutted disapprovingly. ‘And for what it’s worth, whatever you did ye weren’t alone when ye did it.’

  No, Lily certainly had not been alone when she had behaved so shamelessly. If she had been alone, then it would not have been so shameless! ‘I am afraid that sort of—of behaviour may be acceptable for a gentleman, but it is certainly not the case for a single lady.’

  ‘I got no time for such nonsense,’ Mrs Lovell scorned.