Only for You

by Jacquelin Thomas

  * * *

  The evening of the engagement party, Jordin and Ethan strolled hand in hand across the lawn of the DuGrandpre estate, greeting guests as they made their way toward her parents. They both opted to celebrate their engagement at a casual yet elegant backyard cocktail party. Eleanor combined lush berry-hued florals and a black-and-white stripe motif for the decor.

  “Mom outdid herself,” Jordin said. “It looks beautiful.”

  When her grandfather’s dogs strolled by wearing striped bow ties to match the theme, Ethan chuckled. “Yeah, she did. I think your parents invited the whole city to our engagement party.”

  Jordin gave a short laugh as his arms came around her. “It certainly looks that way. Are you sure you’re ready for this, Ethan?”

  He nodded. “We are going to be man and wife. I can’t wait.”

  Jordin and Ethan both accepted a glass of champagne from a passing waiter.

  “Here come the lovebirds,” Jadin murmured with a smile. “I can’t believe it. My sister’s getting married.”

  Jordin embraced her sister. “I know... I can hardly believe it myself. I’ve never been as happy as I am now.”

  “I’m thrilled for you, sis. I really am.”

  Jadin turned to Ethan and said, “You take good care of my sister.”

  “I give you my word. I love Jordin more than my own life.”

  Ethan’s expression suddenly turned to one of shock. “What is Lydia doing here?”

  “She’s here because I invited her,” Jordin confessed.

  “Why would you do this? You know how I feel about the woman.”

  “That woman is your mother, Ethan,” Jordin said in a low voice. “Regardless of what has happened, she is and always will be your mother.”

  “It doesn’t mean that I have to have a relationship with her.”

  “We are at a party to celebrate our engagement,” Jordin stated. “We can discuss this later.”

  Chapter 21

  “What could have possibly made you invite Lydia here?” Ethan demanded as soon as Jordin closed the front door of her home. “I thought I’d made it clear that I want nothing to do with her.”

  “She’s your mother, for one thing,” Jordin pointed out. “This is a very important moment for us and I thought it would be nice to have Lydia share it with us. The other reason I wanted her to come is because the two of you really need to talk.”

  “Lydia hasn’t earned the right to share any part of my life, Jordin.” A flash of disappointment streaked across his face. “I can’t believe you would do something like this to me. You never once considered my feelings.”

  “Your feelings were the only ones I did consider, Ethan,” she responded, folding her arms across her chest. “I invited her because I don’t want you to look back one day with regret.”

  “I won’t,” he responded. “I feel nothing for that woman.”

  “I don’t believe that,” Jordin stated. “I know that you’re angry and I’m not saying that you don’t have a reason to be, but regardless of what you say, I know that your mother still matters to you.”

  “Hate is all I feel for her.”

  Jordin shook her head. “I don’t believe that.”

  “It’s true, I assure you.”

  “Well, I don’t agree. I ran into your mother a week ago and we talked. There’s a lot more to her story and it’s something you really need to hear, sweetheart.”

  “I’m not interested,” he uttered. “She can snow you with her excuses, but I’m not buying anything she has to sell.”

  “How can you be so coldhearted?” Jordin wanted to know. She studied him as if she had never seen Ethan before. “Are you still seeing Bree?”

  “No, I didn’t want to waste her time or mine. To answer your other question—I learned how to be cold from the best. My parents.”

  “Ethan, your mother told me that she didn’t know about the drugs.”

  “How convenient.”

  “I believe her.”

  “I don’t,” Ethan responded. “Jordin, as far as I’m concerned, I don’t have parents. Please do not invite them to our wedding. Can you at least do that for me?”

  “I don’t know who you are,” Jordin stated. “You are nothing like the boy I remembered.”

  “I’m a grown man,” he responded. “I’ve changed over the years.”

  “I don’t like what I’m seeing.”

  “I’m sorry to disappoint you.”

  “What happened to you, Ethan? Why are you so cold?”

  He did not respond.

  Jordin met his gaze. “Ethan...I don’t think I can marry you.” She removed the ring off her finger and handed it back to him. “I’m sorry.”

  “I can’t believe this. You’re choosing my mother over me?”

  “That’s not what I’m doing,” she told him. “You are so angry and bitter.”

  “It has nothing to do with us.”

  “Yes, it does,” Jordin countered. “I don’t want this shadow hanging over our marriage.”

  “So what are you saying?”

  “I don’t think we should think about getting married right now.”

  “You’re calling off the engagement?”

  “Yes,” she responded.

  “I don’t believe this,” Ethan uttered. “Are you serious? You don’t want to marry me because I have mommy issues?”

  “What happens when we have a problem, Ethan?” Jordin inquired. “You don’t forgive. There is no compromise with you. It’s your way or none at all. This is not a quality I want in a husband.”

  “I appreciate your candor.”

  “I love you, Ethan. I have always loved y—”

  “But you don’t want to marry me,” he quickly interjected.

  Their gazes met and held.

  “There is nothing else to discuss, then.”

  “Ethan...”

  “Good night, Jordin.”

  She watched with tears in her eyes as Ethan stormed out of her house. This was not the way Jordin had imagined this night would end. They celebrated their engagement a few hours earlier and now they were no longer getting married.

  With him gone, Jordin could not find peace in her own house because the memories of Ethan were too strong. She decided against sleeping in her bedroom because she could still smell him on her pillows.

  Her guest room provided no comfort either. Throughout the night, Jordin dreamed of Ethan’s arms around her, holding her tight, but she always awakened to the cold, empty spot next to her.

  * * *

  “Jordin called off our engagement,” Ethan announced as he joined Chandler for lunch the next day.

  “You two looked so happy at the party last night. What happened?”

  “She took it upon herself to invite Lydia to the party. Jordin doesn’t get that Lydia had a chance to be a mother, but she wasn’t interested. Now I don’t need or want that woman in my life.”

  “Jordin was coming from a good place, Ethan,” Chandler stated. “The DuGrandpres are a close-knit family.”

  “I know, but that’s not my story. Jordin works in family law, so it’s not like she isn’t familiar with dysfunctional families. She thinks that I should just forgive and move on.”

  “Sounds to me like you were pretty hard on Jordin.”

  Ethan did not respond.

  “Are you sure you’re ready to get married?” Chandler inquired.

  Ethan eyed his friend straight on. “Jordin is the one who called off the engagement.”

  “Did you expect her to want to marry you after blowing up like that?”

  “I wanted to make it clear that she was wrong to invite Lydia to our celebration. I didn’t want to share this wit
h that woman.”

  “I’m afraid that I agree with Jordin. You and your mother will never work things out if you won’t allow her anywhere near you, Ethan.”

  Ethan sighed in frustration. “Why is this so hard for you and Jordin to understand? I’m not trying to work things out with her.”

  “Hey, I get it, but you can’t hold on to this grudge forever.”

  “I already went through this with Jordin. I mean it when I say that I don’t want Lydia in my life, Chandler. Nothing is ever going to change that.”

  “I hope you don’t come to regret this.”

  “I won’t,” Ethan uttered. “Now can we change the subject?”

  “Sure.”

  Although Chandler brought up another topic, Ethan’s mind was on Jordin. He could not help but wonder if he had overreacted. He just wished she could understand that it was not easy for him to forgive his mother. He knew deep down that Jordin was right.

  Ethan also could not escape the sadness reflected in his mother’s eyes each time he saw her. It haunted him like a ghost that refused to leave. It bothered him, although he tried to reason that she had no right to feel hurt by him—she was the one who tore his life apart.

  * * *

  “Why aren’t you wearing your ring?” Jadin questioned. “I haven’t seen you wearing it since the night of the engagement party. That was a week ago.”

  “I gave it back to Ethan.”

  Jadin gasped in surprise. “When did this happen?”

  “After the party.”

  “But why?”

  Jordin met her sister’s gaze. “Ethan and I decided that it was best to call off the engagement.”

  “I’m so sorry, Jordin.”

  She gave a slight shrug. “It’s fine.” The fact that she had not heard from Ethan bothered her. How could he claim to love her so much and not fight for their relationship? Her own heart and body were shouting at her to give him another chance—to give them a chance.

  “Are you okay?” Jadin asked, propelling Jordin out of her reverie.

  Jordin nodded. “I’m not happy about it, but I know that I made the right decision.”

  “You broke it off then.”

  She nodded a second time. “It’s for the best, Jadin.” Apparently, Ethan must feel the same way, Jordin thought. He wasn’t making the situation any easier.

  “You have been in love with Ethan for a long time. Are you sure about this?”

  “Not really,” Jordin confessed. “My heart feels as if it’s been torn into a million pieces, but I have to believe I did the right thing.”

  “I never thought you were the type to just give up on someone,” Jadin said. “Especially if it was someone you cared about.”

  Jordin eyed her sister. “I haven’t given up on Ethan.”

  “He was abandoned by his parents. How do you think he feels about you right now?”

  She considered her sister’s words. “I suppose he may feel that I’ve abandoned him too.” Jordin had made herself indispensable, fighting hard to become a part of Ethan’s everyday life.

  For the first time since that night, she questioned her decision to end the engagement.

  “I know that I was concerned that he would hurt you, sis, but now...I really think you and Ethan belong together.”

  “I know that we do,” Jordin murmured. “But he’s so angry with his mother. His heart is filled with unforgiveness. It made me wonder how he would treat me if we had problems come up in our marriage.”

  “I have to admit that I would have those same concerns,” Jadin confessed, “but this is something you could address now.”

  “I only wanted him to sit down and talk to his mother so that it would be easier for him to move past the anger.”

  “He does have some valid concerns though, sis. None of which have anything to do with you.”

  “Not really, Jadin,” she stated. “Mrs. Holbrooke told me that she had no idea that Rob was a drug dealer and she didn’t know there were drugs in the car. Rob died before he could testify. He had some legitimate businesses and that’s all she knew about.”

  “You believe her?”

  “I do,” Jordin responded. “Jadin, I could tell that she was telling the truth. If Ethan would just talk to her—he would see the same thing.”

  “Have you told him what she said?”

  “Only that she didn’t know there were drugs in the car. This is her story and I think she should be the one to tell him.”

  Jadin embraced her. “I need to get to the courthouse, but if you want to meet me for drinks afterward, give me a call.”

  “Okay,” she responded.

  Alone, Jordin took a deep breath, and pushed those thoughts out of her mind and tried to concentrate on her work, but Ethan insisted on sneaking into her head no matter how hard she tried to keep him out.

  She lifted her coffee mug for a sip, then cradled the mug between her palms, letting the heat slide into her skin. Maybe I should have just focused on the fact that I love Ethan and that he loves me.

  Now it was too late.

  Chapter 22

  Jordin needed to see Ethan. They needed to have one more conversation.

  She left work and drove over to the house where he grew up. Jordin found him standing beside his car. She parked, got out and walked up to him, saying, “I had a feeling I’d find you here.”

  Ethan glanced over his shoulder. “Jordin, I didn’t hear you walk up. How did you know I would be here?”

  “I just figured you’d want to visit your childhood home at some point, so I just took a chance that it would be today.”

  “I don’t know why I came here.”

  “It’s a part of your past. I also heard that you purchased the house and have plans to renovate it.”

  “Chandler talks too much.”

  “I think it’s really sweet that you want to do something like this. What are you planning to do with it?”

  “Donate it to a family that needs a home.”

  “Really?” Jordin had assumed he would give it to his mother, but then again, considering his feelings toward Lydia...

  Ethan nodded. “I hope that it will be filled with love and laughter.”

  “That’s very sweet of you.”

  He turned and began walking toward his vehicle. “I thought you were still upset with me.”

  “I figured we needed to talk,” Jordin responded.

  He met her gaze. “You called off our marriage. What else is there left to say?”

  “I’m trying to comprehend why you are being so stubborn about this. Lydia is your mother—the woman who labored to bring you into this world, Ethan. Don’t you think she deserves a second chance to earn your trust back?”

  “Jordin, I don’t think you will ever understand what I went through,” he responded. “I guess I don’t understand why my relationship with Lydia is such a concern of yours.”

  “Because I love you. When you’re in pain, I hurt also.” She shook her head sadly. “Ethan, I can’t believe you would say something like that to me. What happened to you?”

  “There’s something I haven’t told you. Jordin, I hated being in military school. I ran away a couple of times. The last time, I begged my dad to let me come home. He did, but it didn’t last long. I was out with my stepmother’s nephew who was visiting at the time. We were at the mall and he tried to steal something. Anyway, we were stopped by security and they called my stepmother. When my dad got home, she and her nephew blamed everything on me. I was sent back to military school. My dad didn’t even listen to me. I decided I was on my own from that point forward.”

  “I’m sorry you had to go through something like that.” Jordin reached out, tracing the design of the iron fence. “It’s clear to m
e that you would rather carry your anger as a badge of honor for the rest of your life. Well, I can’t be a part of that.”

  “You’ve made that abundantly clear.”

  She sent a sharp glare in his direction. “I don’t need your sarcasm, Ethan. This wasn’t an easy decision for me. I came to see you because I wanted to see if there was still a chance for us.”

  “And so you’ve decided that what you don’t need is a man like me.”

  “Don’t put words in my mouth,” she snapped.

  “I don’t want to argue with you, Jordin.”

  “Then don’t,” she responded. After a moment, Jordin added, “I love you, Ethan.”

  “I love you too.”

  “I’m not ready to give up on us.”

  Ethan met her gaze. “That’s not what I want either, but...”

  Jordin eyed the house. “I hope you didn’t buy this house just to hurt your mother.”

  “Do you really think I’m that callous?” He paused a moment before continuing. “I guess you don’t know me as well as you thought.”

  “Ethan, I talked to your mother and I still believe that you should have a conversation with her. It just may change the way you feel about her.”

  “Why don’t you just tell me what Lydia told you? It must have been a good story for you to suddenly become her cheerleader.”

  “I wouldn’t say I was her cheerleader,” Jordin countered, “but I do believe her. Lydia is not without fault, but she is not what you think she is either.”

  “I have to go,” Ethan uttered. “I don’t have time for this.”

  Before walking away, he pulled her into his arms, kissing her. “I will always love you, Jordin.”

  The way Ethan said it almost sounded like a goodbye.

  * * *

  “What’s wrong with you?” Ryker inquired. “You look like you’ve got something heavy on your mind.”

  Jordin shrugged. “I’ve been trying to reach Ethan since yesterday, but he’s not responding to my calls or texts.” She had not heard a word from him since their encounter at his childhood home.

  “Did you two have a fight or something?”

  “Things have been a little tense between us since I called off the engagement.”