After a while, he pulls back so that he can look at me. “Are you hungry?”
“Starving, actually.”
We eat peacefully, still entangled with each other and watching reruns.
I wake up in a haze in a bed I don't recognize. I lean up and look at his clock. It’s seven in the morning. I lay back down, stretching out while everything comes back to me, hitting me full force.
I might as well get this over with. I quietly climb out of bed and find my bag on the floor by his closet. Unzipping it, I grab the box before setting out to find the bathroom. Luckily, it’s the door right across from his room. I open up the package and read the instructions.
As I wait for the results, there’s a knock at the door. “Abbey?”
“Yeah.”
“You okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Can I come in?”
“I’d rather you didn’t, to be honest.”
“Fine, but I’m sitting right out here.”
The timer goes off on my phone. I don't really want to look at it, but putting it off won’t make it any easier. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Forcing out the breath, I open them and look over at the test, then at the instructions over and over again.
“Abbey, what did it say?”
I take a deep breath and open the door to look at him. I show him the test and key to him, and he pulls me against him in a hug. It was negative. I will still have to take one in a week, but this is a good sign.
I sag in relief against his body, and he tightens his arms around me.
“I would’ve been happy either way, but I’m glad it was negative.”
“Me, too. I have to take another one in a week, because it’s so early, but this is a good sign.”
“Yes, it is and I want to be there for the second one too, so no doing it at work since you go back Wednesday.”
“Alright.”
He picks me up and spins me around in his arms. I giggle, and he grins at me.
He caresses my cheek with his hand and leans down to kiss me gently. We hold hands and make our way back to the bed where we curl up in bed for a couple more hours.
As we talk, I bolster myself to breach the tough subject. “Luke, why are you so secretive about your family with me?”
I feel him tense under me. “Because the family that I don’t associate with has done some horrible things.”
“Like?”
“Abbey, I promised Mason that I wouldn’t tell you. It would hurt you a whole lot more than you think. My uncle on my mom’s side committed a crime that hurt all of us. Mason threatened to kill him.”
“Luke…”
“Abbey, I’m afraid you’re going to run if I tell you. It’s going to be a lot worse than anything you could imagine. It took Mason three years to even speak to me again.”
“Well, first off, I’m not like Mason. What if I promised not to run? What if I told you that you could lock me in this apartment with you until we work it out, if there really is anything to work out? If it really does flip me out, you’re going to have to give me time to cope.”
He sits up, taking me with him. He grabs my face and looks into my eyes. “Are you serious?”
“Yes. I’m not going to run again.”
He sighs and rests his forehead against mine.
“Does the name Randy Walker ring any bells?”
I freeze in place. My whole world stops spinning as the name leaves his lips. That’s the name of the man that killed my grandfather in the wreck.
“That can’t be your uncle.”
“It is, Abbey. He is my uncle. He is my mom’s brother. We no longer talk to him, but he’s related to me.”
I scoot back away from him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I am.”
“No, before that. Before this. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes, because that’s something you tell someone. Like ‘Hey, before we date, we need to establish that my uncle killed your grandfather and injured you in a wreck,’ not when we are already in a relationship. My grandfather meant more to me than anything. You knew that, and you chose not to tell me?”
“Abbey, listen to me, please. I didn’t know how to tell you. That’s not the kind of thing you can drop into conversation casually. I don’t even like talking about it, and I think it would have changed a lot between us. I don’t even think we’d be here.”
Without even thinking about it, I push off his bed. Before I can even find my feet, though, I slip and fall.
“Jesus, Abbey.”
“I’m fine. Do you really think that little of me, Luke? Do you have no faith in me? I’m living proof that not all kids are like their family.”
“It’s not that—”
“The hell it’s not. I’m not quick to judge; whether you want to believe that or not is fine, but for you to think that I would’ve just knocked you off to the side because of your uncle is fucked up. I was raised better than that. Despite the fact that my dad can be cold-hearted sometimes, not to mention a total ass, I was raised by two loving, if very strict, parents.”
“Your grandfather meant the world to you, Abbey. You would’ve thought something.”
I walk up to stand toe to toe with him. “Yeah, I would’ve been mad maybe, but half the time that goes away. I wouldn’t have written you off as a jackass like your uncle. How could you think that, Luke? Why would you?”
“Because that’s what Mason did! Mason wouldn’t even talk to me. He wouldn’t even answer my phone calls when my dad died, or when my mom remarried. Mason left me for dead after your grandfather’s funeral. I didn’t want that from you, too. I need you in my life, so I didn’t want to risk it.”
“You keep not wanting to take these risks! Dammit, start taking some! Sometimes they pay off. I never would’ve judged you based on your uncle. It hurts that you would think that.”
I take a step back away from him and sit on the bed.
“Fine, Abbey, here’s a risk. Do you want to know what I was thinking when you told me you might be pregnant?”
My head snaps up and fear starts to creep up my spine. “What?”
“I was happy about it. I was completely fine, even excited. That’s the thing you don’t see. I’m so in love with you, Abbey, and I want to spend my life with you, but you act like you’re scared out of your mind half the time. Why? I would love to have kids with you, and having one now, I would’ve been okay with. It’s not the most opportune time, but I would’ve made it work. Do you not see how perfect you are to, and for, me?”
“No, Luke, I don’t see that. I don’t, because I see me for what I truly am, which is messed up. If you think for a second I see myself as any type of perfect, you are wrong. So wrong. My family is a level of fucked up most people haven’t even seen. On the outside we appear normal, but on the inside there’s every bad thing you can imagine.
“I’m scared out of my mind, because I swore I would never feel this way or be in love, ever. I didn’t want to put myself out there to get hurt, because that’s what I’m doing. I’m doing everything I don’t want to do. It’s like I’ve stepped out on this limb, and it’s swaying back and forth, waiting for me to lose my balance and fall. I didn’t even know I was in love with you until Will pointed it out and Brayden called you my Prince Charming. Do you think I planned this? Hell no. I avoided it like the plague, but you are so fucking stubborn you didn’t give up.”
“Was I supposed to? Abbey, I went out drinking that night because you hit a nerve, and it bothered me that a woman could do that. I was stupid by bringing that girl home, but I’ve never done that before. There was no way I was going to let you go when I cared that much for you, even then. Sorry to tell you this, baby, but I don’t just sleep with girls. I actually have to have some kind of feelings towards them.”
I stand up to look at him. “Luke, I don’t know. Are we going down a dangerous road? We get pissed at each other all the tim
e. We both have tempers, yours more mellow than mine, but still. You want kids, and I’m not even sure I’m ready for them. My schedule as a doctor is never certain. When I start back at work, we will never see each other and—”
His lips forcefully come down on mine. Never breaking the kiss, he pushes me down onto the bed and his body is on top of mine. My arms come around his back and he growls, breaking the kiss.
“Can you just shut up and leave well enough alone?”
"But it's not well enough--"
His lips are on mine again.
"Would you quit, I'm trying to make a logical poi--"
Another kiss cuts me off.
"Luke, stop it. I'm serious! How is this ever going to w--"
Again. Dammit, I don't know whether it annoys or amuses me more.
“Abbey, shut the hell up for once and quit overthinking everything. Trust me, everything is going to work out.”
“How d—”
This time he doesn't stop. His lips continue to move against mine. His tongue runs against my bottom lip until I open my mouth.
His hand runs up my shirt, leaving a scorching path against my skin. I arch my back towards him, needing to feel more of him against me.
He pulls his lips away from mine and moves down to my neck.
I don't say anything this time. “God, I love him.”
He stops “What was that?”
“What?”
“Did you just say you ‘love him?' Who the hell is ‘him’?”
Inwardly, I groan. I had said it out loud.
“You, Luke, him is you. I love you.”
He looks up at me. “You don't say that nearly enough.”
“Mmm, I'll have to remember to say it more.”
“I know everything's not worked out, but can we stop whatever we were doing for a little while and just relax?”
“I guess.”
He leans down close to me, his arms resting on each side of my head. “Why do you do this?”
“Do what?”
“Look down on yourself and doubt anything that has to do with you?”
“I don’t doubt everything. I’m a damn good doctor. “
“Yes, you are, but you know what I mean.”
“Because nothing ever seems to work out in my favor. Trust me, something will happen that will make you walk away. I know I did once, but I didn’t want to. Not underneath everything. I just don’t want to get hurt.”
“I wouldn’t just leave, Abbey.”
“You say that now. “
“Then I’ll just have to prove it to you.”
I stay quiet, not knowing what to say. He just stares down at me with something in his eyes I cannot name.
“Abbey, what would you have done if you were pregnant?”
“If you’re asking if I would have an abortion, the answer is no, Luke, I wouldn’t.”
“I never thought you would. I was just wondering. You would be a great mom. I know you don’t want to think about that now, but you would. I see the way you are with Brayden. Even though I’ve never met his mom, I’m sure she loves the way you are with him.”
My body tenses at the mention of Brayden’s mom.
“Brayden’s mom is no longer living. She died a month after she gave birth to Avery, Brayden’s little sister.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”
“It’s fine. It’s just not my story to tell.”
“Ally came to see you while you were in the hospital.”
“Why?”
“They were here, and I wasn’t going to leave the hospital, so they came to me.”
“Oh.”
“She likes you, you know.”
“I like her, too. Your sister is sweet. There’s not many people whose big brothers I would let walk back to the OR with them.”
“Thank you for that. She was scared.”
“I know she was, which is why I went and asked instead of just saying no.”
“When she would talk to me about you, I never realized it was you until you signed your last name on that note. You stuck with her throughout her whole recovery. Why?”
“It’s my job.”
“No, your job is to take care of the patient during surgery and right as they come out, not for the whole eight months of her recovery. So why?”
Reaching up, I trace his face with my hands.
“Because being thrown around to different doctors is torture. None of them have time to fully understand your pain tolerance and what needs to be done. Good treatment is what needs to happen, so I stuck it out.”
“Thank you.”
“It’s my job, but you’re welcome. “
He leans down into another kiss, effectively putting an end to all conversation.
Chapter 16
The next couple of weeks pass by spectacularly. Everything begins to fall into place with us. We don’t see each other every day, but we still manage to see each other a lot. I transition easily back into the routine of work, and everything was going well. Our relationship grew, and we got closer.
One Sunday night, we are relaxing in my living room, dreading the return to work the next morning.
“Hey, Abbey!”
He pulls me out of my thoughts. “Yeah?”
“Look, it’s snowing!”
“Oh, yeah. It’s the first snowfall of December, even though we’ve had snow for forever now.”
He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me back against him. “It’s still nice to watch.”
“I know. Could we just freeze time and stay like this?”
He sighs, holding me tighter. “I wish.”
He lets go of me and I turn around to wrap my arms around his neck. “My height difference isn’t so bad with these heels on.”
He chuckles and kneels down, taking them off. “I happen to like the height difference, thank you very much.”
He picks me up and carries me in his arms to the bedroom.
The next morning we both groan as the alarm goes off.
I cover my head up with the sheet and grumble, “I hate Mondays. Today is going to be long.”
“I know, baby, but we have dinner tonight.” At least one of us has a sexy morning voice.
“We do. Can I stay with you tonight?”
“Sweetheart, you know I would love that.”
Grabbing my coffee, I set off to work, hoping for a calm day.
For the most part, my wish is granted and things go smoothly. The day is punctuated by texts from Luke, complaining about how much his new clients change their minds.
At six, I’m getting ready to clock out when there’s an all call to the trauma bay in the ER.
I get moving, texting Luke to tell him I’m going to be late.
Once I get there, I manage to push my way to the front of the crowd. “What’s going on?”
“Good, you’re here, Cartwright. We had a school bus crash with a semi. All we know is that there are multiple high school students in critical condition needing help. We have waived all age problems that could come into play. They are still in high school, so we are taking them. I’m asking that you call the shots on who goes where. You know the assessments better than all of us.”
“Alright. What about the driver?”
“DOA.”
I nod and move into the bay as the first ambulance arrives.
“Fifteen year old girl. Neck trauma and can’t feel her legs.” I take in everything the paramedic is throwing at me.
“Bay one.”
The wave of ambulances continues to arrive and I allow the information to flow over me, listening to the injuries and directing them to where they need to go. We are starting to run short on staff.
I grab a nurse who is passing by. “Someone needs to call in all doctors. Now.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Parents start arriving, trying to make their way into the chaos of the emergency room.
I get out my phone, calling security for crowd control.
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I get a call that the next patient is a female who has a piece of metal in her chest and that they are having a hard time keeping her stable. She’s mine.
“Williams, did you hear that?”
“Yes. Do you want to get my team in on this one?”
“They should already be here.”
As I go to make my next order for the incoming ambulance, I hear someone yell my name. It’s Luke, and his parents are right beside him. I run over, allowing a resident to make this call.
“What?”
“Ally was in the crash, has she come in?”
“Not that I’ve seen. I’ve got a critical patient coming in, I can’t go check. I’m sorry, I’ve got to do my job. Wait in the waiting room.”
“Dr. Cartwright, she’s here.” I run over to the patient seeing the worst thing imaginable.
Time seems to slow down. Luke’s mom screams and Luke’s face pales just as I notice that the patient with metal lodged in her chest is Ally Roberts.
I stand there, stunned, not believing my eyes. “Dr. Cartwright?” Someone trying to get my attention.
“ABBEY!” Another scream to get me out of my trance.
I shake my head, finally back in the moment. The team of people for her are standing in front of me. I need to get her out of the eye of her family.
“I want her in Bay 4. I’m going to grab the cart and meds and meet you there. I want her as stable as we can get her before we get her to the OR.”
Turning to the firefighters, I order them to get the metal cut down as much as possible.
I run to grab the crash carts and medicine. As I pass by a nurse, I yell for her to call Williams and for him to scrub up.
I get to the bay, closing the curtain behind me.
“How’s she doing?”
“Everything’s low, but stable. She’s awake, but all she can do is cry.”
I walk around to the head of the bed, measuring out the pain relievers and anesthesia.
“Hey, Ally. I’m going to take care of you, okay? I’m going to give you some medicine that’s going to stop the pain, then some to go ahead and put you to sleep so we can get this piece of metal out.”
I brush her hair out of her face, trying to get her to calm down.
“I-I’m sc-scared.”
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