A Moment to Remember

by Dee Williams

  They trooped behind Matron to her office. ‘Please take a seat. This place is for some of the young men who have been injured and still need medical treatment, but it is also a place where they can adjust before they are sent home. Some are badly scarred, some are blind and some have shell shock. I know that you are all familiar with various types of patients.’ She looked at some papers that were in front of her. ‘Miss Ash, I see you have been with the blind.’

  ‘Yes, Matron.’

  ‘And Miss Collins, you have been helping the shell-shocked. ’

  ‘Yes, I have.’

  Nancy it seemed had been with the badly burned and injured.

  There was a knock on the door. ‘Come in.’

  A tall nurse came into the room and nodded to Matron. ‘I see our young ladies have arrived.’

  ‘Yes. Nurse Webb, could you take them to their accommodation.’

  ‘Of course. Follow me.’

  As they made their way up the grand staircase, Nurse Webb addressed them over her shoulder. ‘You will be sharing. As soon as you’ve seen your room I will take you on a tour. This is a lovely place to work in and our patients are so nice, but they do need our help.’

  Once again Milly was amazed at the grandeur of the place she was now going to call home.

  There were four beds in the room, with cupboards and a dressing table and two large chests of drawers.

  ‘This part of the house is the staff quarters, and there is a bathroom along the corridor.’

  As they were shown around the house, they passed many men in the hospital blue uniform. Some of them gave them a wave, and others just sat with a blank look on their face. A few were feeling their way round the room.

  ‘Now that summer is almost here, the garden is very popular,’ said Nurse Webb as she pushed open one of the two glass doors that led out on to a beautiful green lawn with chairs and a few tables dotted around. There were many men sitting in the chairs, and Milly visibly shuddered when she saw two patients being pushed round the grounds in wheelchairs on the lovely green grass. Thoughts of the happy times she’d had with Jane came flooding back.

  ‘Miss Ash, are you cold?’ asked Nurse Webb.

  ‘No. Sorry. I think someone must have just walked over my grave.’

  ‘Don’t say things like that. I’ll show you the rest of the house, then after tea we can visit the hospital.’

  ‘Is it near here?’ asked Nancy.

  ‘It’s just at the back of the house.’

  As they made their way round the garden, Milly saw more men in wheelchairs. She just prayed that there wasn’t a lake here. She knew she would never, ever forget that dreadful day.

  Two men started to walk towards them.

  ‘Are you the new girls?’ asked one soldier who had a very badly scarred face; Milly guessed he’d been burnt.

  ‘Yes, we are,’ said Nancy.

  ‘Now come on, Roger,’ said Nurse Webb. ‘I don’t want you playing any of your tricks with these young women.’

  ‘As if we would. Pleased to meet you, ladies,’ said Roger, bowing low.

  ‘I’m Peter,’ said the other one, who was leaning on a stick. ‘Roger thinks he’s a bit of a ladies’ man, and I’m the one who has to keep him in check.’

  ‘Pleased to meet you,’ said Nancy.

  Trudy and Milly both smiled and nodded.

  They made their way back to the house, where Nurse Webb told them about mealtimes and anything else she thought they should know. She looked at her watch. ‘The gong for tea will be sounding soon; we can carry on with our tour afterwards. And please don’t hesitate to ask any of us if you need help.’

  When they were back in their room, Trudy said, ‘I have never been in such a lovely place as this.’

  ‘Neither have I,’ said Milly.

  ‘I must admit it is rather grand,’ said Nancy. ‘I wonder what we are expected to do.’

  The babble in the dining room was unbelievable. The men were very noisy.

  ‘Come and sit with me,’ said one man to Milly. ‘You can sit on my other side,’ he added to Trudy. ‘Look, lads, I’ve got two of the new intake.’

  A young soldier holding on to another man’s arm came and sat on Milly’s other side. ‘Trust you, Robbo,’ he said.

  Milly touched his hand. ‘Don’t worry. I’m sitting next to you.’

  ‘That’s good.’

  Milly watched as his friend passed him his tea and a plate with sandwiches on. ‘What’s your name?’ she asked the first man.

  ‘Andrew. Although everybody calls me Robbo on account of my surname being Robinson. And yours?’

  ‘I’m not sure if we are allowed to use our Christian names,’ she said.

  He smiled. ‘Whisper it to me and I promise not to tell.’

  Milly laughed. ‘I’m Milly.’

  He held out his hand. ‘Pleased to meet you, Milly.’

  ‘And I’m pleased to meet you, Andrew.’

  Chapter 38

  AS THE MONTHS PASSED by, Milly was very happy. She even managed to overcome her fear of pushing a wheelchair again, although it was very hard at first and she had to keep her feelings to herself. She found out that most of the men here were officers of some sort, so the possibility of seeing either of her brothers vanished, as she didn’t think they could be officers. You never knew, though. Who would have thought that she would have got an education and gone into the nursing profession? Perhaps Billy and Dan were still well and healthy. She didn’t want to think of the alternative.

  Sometimes Milly was in the hospital helping the new patients try to come to terms with their blindness; other times she was reading or writing letters. Like Trudy and Nancy, she also helped the doctors and nurses. They were always ready to do anything that was asked of them.

  One afternoon she was sitting reading to Major Robinson. They had become great friends, although Nurse Webb had told the Red Cross girls that they must be very professional at all times and not fraternise with the men.

  He had laughed when she told him that. ‘I’m twice as old as you, and I have a wife, and daughters as old as you.’

  ‘I know that. I read and write all your letters for you, remember.’

  ‘You’re a good girl, Milly, and I’m very fond of you.’

  She patted the back of his hand. ‘Don’t tell anyone, but I’m very fond of you.’

  They laughed together.

  Milly was pleased when Lizzie wrote and told her all her news. It seemed that Tom had been very busy at the front and was now coming back home to work at the hospital for a while. Lizzie was also talking about setting a date for the wedding and asked Milly if she would be able to attend. Although Milly was very fond of Lizzie, she wasn’t sure if she would be able to go. Matron was very reluctant for her girls to leave, even if it was only for a weekend.

  It was a Monday morning and some of their patients had left. It was always a sad time when they had to say goodbye. A few of the men were frightened of leaving the security of the hospital and didn’t want to go home, and some even invented curious symptoms, but Matron could always see through them. Now they were waiting for new arrivals.

  Matron was there as always to talk to them about the new patients. ‘We are going to have more men than usual this time and some will just have to go where we have room. Most of these men have been badly injured. Although they were treated in the field hospital, some were injured again before they were shipped back. I am given to understand that some of them are very traumatised, and I don’t have to remind you that we have to treat minds and well as bodies. Now they should be here about midday.’

  They all went about their duties in a professional way. Beds were prepared and everything was ready as they waited for the new arrivals.

  When the ambulances drove up, Milly, Trudy and Helen were there with the porters and wheelchairs. Gradually the men were helped into the chairs and taken to their wards.

  ‘Looks like we’ve got quite a few burns victims this time,’ sai
d Trudy late that evening as the girls were getting ready for bed.

  ‘I’ve got some very traumatised lads,’ said Nancy. ‘And a few who will be moved to your part of the building, Milly, when they’ve been assessed.’

  ‘This part of the job always upsets me,’ said Milly. ‘Seeing the new ones for the first time.’

  ‘I know, and some are so traumatised that it takes a while to get them to speak,’ said Nancy as she sat on her bed and combed out her long dark hair, which she always wore in a bun.

  ‘It doesn’t matter how many times we see it, it’s still wrong that young men are suffering like this,’ said Trudy, who was sitting up in bed.

  ‘I’m afraid that’s war,’ said Nancy.

  They were all used to each other now. Nancy was tall, and when her hair was pulled back she always looked stern, although she was very nice and gentle and always had a shoulder for the soldiers to cry on when it was needed.

  Milly climbed into bed and looked across at Trudy. She was very gentle with her patients, and according to the men, nobody could dress burns like she could. That might be because they liked this small, willowy blue-eyed blonde hovering over them.

  Milly sat up and hugged her knees. ‘I thought I saw enough trouble when I was a suffragette before the war.’

  ‘I was in the movement as well,’ said Nancy.

  This was one of the few times they could talk among themselves. Often they didn’t work the same shifts.

  ‘Did you go on marches?’ asked Trudy.

  ‘Yes,’ they both said together.

  ‘I think the saddest one was at Emily Davison’s funeral,’ said Nancy.

  ‘Yes, it was,’ said Milly. ‘That all seems a lifetime ago.’

  ‘It is for some.’

  ‘True,’ said Milly as she settled down to prepare herself for another long day tomorrow.

  A week later, Nancy was pushing a young man along the corridor when she saw Milly. ‘Ash,’ she called. They had to call each other by their surname in front of the patients. ‘You can take over from me. Lieutenant Green is to go into your ward.’

  Milly stood still as she looked at the man in the wheelchair.

  ‘Ash, are you all right?’ Nancy came up close to her and whispered, ‘Milly, what is it? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.’

  ‘Is everything all right?’ asked the young man.

  ‘Yes. Yes. Everything is fine,’ said Nancy. ‘Milly,’ she hissed, beginning to get cross. ‘Pull yourself together.’

  ‘Sorry,’ Milly said softly, taking hold of the handles of the wheelchair. She felt sick. How could this happen? Why was Richard sent here? She would have to go and see Matron and tell her she had to leave. She couldn’t stay here. Not now.

  In the ward, she silently helped him into a bed.

  ‘Is that you, Ash?’ asked the man in the next bed.

  ‘Yes,’ she said quickly and quietly.

  ‘You’re quiet today,’ he said.

  She didn’t want to speak in case Richard recognised her voice. Blind men were able to pick up on every little sound.

  ‘She’s normally such a chatterbox.’ The man was talking to Richard now.

  ‘Must be my good looks have left her speechless.’

  She looked at Richard’s once handsome face. He had a terrible red, angry-looking scar right across his left eye and down his cheek; the other eye had a dead look about it. His beautiful grey-blue eyes. Milly wanted to hold him and kiss him. She knew then that she had never stopped loving him. But what about him? He couldn’t possibly love her, because he must blame her for Jane’s death. She had to get away. She couldn’t bear to be so near to him and not be in his arms. What would he do if he found out she was standing next to him?

  ‘Were you gassed, mate?’ asked the man in the next bed.

  ‘No. Caught in the blast of a gun that got hit. What about you?’

  ‘That bloody gas. Didn’t do my lungs much good either.’

  ‘Sorry to hear that. I’m Richard Green, and you are . . . ?’

  ‘Frank Miller.’

  ‘Pleased to meet you, Frank. As soon as I’m on my feet I’ll come and shake your hand.’

  ‘You’ll be up and about with our little Red Cross nurse in no time. Ash is our guardian angel. And according to my wife she writes lovely letters. Have you got a wife?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘What about mother and father; she’ll write to them.’

  ‘They were both interned in Germany. I haven’t heard from them for a long while.’

  ‘Sorry to hear that.’

  ‘That’s all right. It was just one of those things. Father was working over there. I just hope they’re all right. Mother was a bit poorly the last time I heard.’

  Milly couldn’t believe that in that short space of time she had found out all about Richard’s parents and that he hadn’t married. That was the thing with these men; they would tell anyone all about themselves if they found a willing ear.

  Chapter 39

  FOR THE REST of the day Milly tried to stay away from the ward that Richard was in. She was worried that if he heard her voice he might recognise her.

  That night Trudy was working. Milly was in bed when Nancy came into their room.

  ‘What was wrong with you this morning? I’ve never seen you like that before.’

  Milly let a tear run down her cheek. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said.

  Nancy came and sat on her bed. ‘You don’t have to be sorry. What was it? What upset you?’

  ‘Nancy, I’ve got to leave here.’

  ‘What? Why?’

  ‘It’s very difficult.’

  ‘But I thought you loved it here.’

  ‘I do, but . . . ’

  ‘It was that patient, what was his name?’

  ‘Richard.’

  ‘That’s it. That’s the problem. You know him, don’t you?’

  Milly nodded and wiped away a tear. ‘What can I do?’

  ‘How well did you know him?’

  ‘Very well.’ Milly wasn’t prepared to tell her friend anything more. What would Nancy say if she found out that Milly was responsible for his sister’s death.

  ‘You’ll have to have a word with Matron. Go and see her in the morning.’

  ‘Thanks. Nancy, please don’t say anything to Trudy.’

  ‘Nothing to tell, is there?’

  Milly knew as she settled down that her thoughts would be on Richard. She knew from reading his notes that he would never be able to see her. Who would look after him when he was able to leave here? She desperately wanted to hold him and be there for him, but she knew that he had loved Jane and would never forgive her. She turned over. Sleep was going to be hard to come by tonight, and tomorrow could be another turning point in her life.

  Milly knocked on Matron’s door.

  ‘Come.’ She looked up from her desk. ‘Ash. What can I do for you?’

  Milly looked at the chair. She wanted to collapse on to it, but they had to stand till they were told to sit. ‘Please, Matron, I wish to be transferred.’

  ‘Please sit down and tell me what has suddenly brought this on. I thought you were very happy here?’

  ‘I am.’

  ‘So what seems to be the trouble?’

  ‘I know one of the new patients.’

  ‘Which one is that?’

  ‘Lieutenant Green.’

  ‘And does he know you?’

  ‘I haven’t told him who I am.’

  ‘He’s not recognised your voice?’

  ‘I have been very careful not to speak in front of him.’

  ‘I see.’

  Milly looked at her hands.

  ‘Was this a love affair that went wrong?’

  ‘In a way. We were both very young.’

  ‘Have you looked at his notes and found that he’s married?’

  ‘He’s not married.’

  ‘I see. And you think that you both being here could start the relationship again?’
/>
  Milly nodded.

  ‘Well, you know the rules.’

  ‘Yes, Matron.’

  ‘As you know, although we look after the men, we’re not like a hospital; we are here to help them learn to live with their disabilities, and because of that we become involved less in a clinical way and more in a social way. I like to think that we are one big happy family.’

  Milly wanted to smile at that remark. She didn’t look on Matron as a motherly figure.

  ‘Leave this with me and I’ll let you know.’

  Milly left Matron’s office with a heavy heart. She loved this job and the camaraderie with the men. Sometimes as she read their letters and wrote their replies, she almost felt she was part of their family.

  Later that afternoon Milly took a letter out to Major Robinson, who was sitting in the garden. ‘It’s from your wife,’ she told him.

  ‘Wonderful. Will you read it for me?’

  ‘Of course.’ She settled herself in a chair close to him and began reading the letter. When she’d finished, she said, ‘She sounds very well, doesn’t she?’

  ‘Yes. In some ways I wish she could come and see me.’

  ‘Would you like me to talk to Matron about a visit?’

  ‘Could you. I know it’s a bit of a way for her to come, but I’m sure she’d be happy to make the journey.’

  ‘Would you be happy for her to see you?’ She knew that some of the men had had their wives to visit, and that one or two had found it very hard to come to terms with the situation.

  ‘I think so. She knows it’s going to be hard when I’m sent home, and if she saw how well I was managing, I’m sure that would help to put her mind at rest.’

  Milly touched his hand. ‘I’m sure it will. She sounds a lovely woman.’

  She looked up and saw a nurse pushing Richard towards them.

  ‘I have to go,’ she said and quickly walked away.