Elephant in the Sky
Page 27
With each step I take, I become less and less scared.
By the time we all reach the first zip line, we are laughing and having so much fun. I am loving every minute of it. And so is my mom.
At the zip line, a man helps attach a thing they call a caribiner to the wheel that is on the cable. I stand on the platform and look out in front of me. All I can see is a big open field in the far distance, with lots of palm trees surrounding the rope. If I follow the rope with my eyes, I can see another platform that looks like it is very far away. My dad and Grace have already taken their turns. My sister screamed the whole way across.
“Your turn, Dad,” my mom says, laughing, and Grandpa makes us both promise that if he goes first, we’ll follow him. He whoops and laughs as he flies through the air. I stand next to Mom and we’re both laughing as Grandpa is waving one of his arms and looking goofy. I laugh and say to Mom that he looks like a wild bird.
“A seagull?” she laughs.
“More like a pelican,” I say, and soon we’re both giggling hysterically. I can hear in our laughs that we are both still nervous. I feel very jumpy.
I go next. I want to show her that I can do it. I want to show my mom so that she won’t be scared.
I start to feel even more nervous. Mom is standing beside me. “You can do this, Bean. I know you can.” Her voice sounds reassuring, but also nervous.
“You can too, Mom. You promise you’ll do it too?” She nods. They move me up to the platform and I can feel the belly bubbles start. But they’re different than the belly bubbles I used to feel. “I’m not scared, Mom. I’m not scared anymore.”
And suddenly, I’m flying.
62
Ashley
I watched my son soar through the air. As soon as he pushed off, his face looked terrified, like he’d realized he’d made a huge mistake. My heart leapt, and I just wanted to grab him and hold him back, but it was too late for both of us. And before I knew it, he was shrieking with joy the entire way across.
I stepped up to the platform. I’d never done anything like this. Everything in my body was screaming for me not to do this. But if Nate could find the strength, then I could too. I looked down and my stomach clenched. It was so far down. This was crazy. What if something happened? What if the rope broke? What if the handbrake faltered and I crashed into everyone on the other side?
I looked across and saw Nate and my dad on the other platform, motioning for me to follow them. Grace hopped up and down, and Pete waved happily.
The angry elephants were gone. In their place was my family of goofy pelicans. And I wanted nothing more than to join them on the other side. I could do this.
I took a deep breath, and jumped.
Acknowledgements
Sadly, I know too many people who have struggled, or are struggling, with mental illness. Many of them are acquaintances. Some are within my family. And one person, in particular, is an extremely close friend.
And I’ve watched, often helpless, as he’s had to brave a scary world that has been filled with demons of his own making — and then, later, a scary world filled with judgement and stigma. Yet, despite all of these obstacles, he has risen above. And today, he is healthy. Thriving. Happily married, in a job that he loves, and surrounded by family and friends who adore him. Many people don’t have a clue what he has been through. I’m quite certain new friends would be in complete disbelief if they knew what actually happened so many years ago.
Elephant in the Sky is inspired by him. And a lot of what happens in this book took place in his real life. He told me that I could write his name in these acknowledgements. And, while I am so very proud of his courage, I realized that I simply couldn’t do that to him when it came time to put pen to paper. Because I know that, despite his strength, there is too great a chance that others would come to false conclusions. Despite the fact that he is now living a healthy and happy life, some people would likely judge. As a nation, we are getting better. But the stigma still exists.
So my inspiration for this book shall remain nameless. But he knows who he is. I just hope he also knows that his unfaltering determination and relentless tenacity makes many of us extremely proud. He is an absolute pillar of strength and I am in awe of all that he has conquered and accomplished throughout the years.
Although it sounds clichéd, it is true that this book wouldn’t have been finished without the help of many people. And I am grateful, first and foremost, to Brian — my husband and all-around rock. He not only constantly reassured me that I could write this book and encouraged me to keep going, but the father of our three wonderful children took on extra bath, bedtime, and clean-up duties to give me the extra time I needed to write. Brian, our life is filled with a whole lot of chaos, a ton of hard work, and even more happiness and joy, and I can’t begin to imagine sharing it with anyone other than you.
To the first readers for their encouragement and insight: Ann Clark, Kathy Vucic, Ines Colucci, Wendy Gardham, Anthony Iantorno, Steven Clark, Jessica Belaire, Ian Clark, Donna Rawbone, John Rawbone, Brooke Allen, and Penny Hicks. Thank you for reading such an early draft of the manuscript, for your thoughts and perspective, and for loving the story enough to help me make it better.
I’m lucky to be surrounded by teachers and thankful that I’m able to turn to them when I have questions. Thank you, Steve Clark, Jessica Belaire, Katie Freure, and Tom Freure for always being so willing to answer questions about teaching elementary school and kids in a classroom.
To Dr. Jane Aldridge, who always lets me ask her endless questions about the medical field. Thank you for emailing back and forth with me about hospital visits, walking me through various medical procedures, and pointing me in the direction of thorough research when I needed detailed information.
And to Dr. Tonia Seli, who went above and beyond to help me better understand both psychiatry and mental illness. Dr. Seli, you really helped me a lot by taking so much time to explain the things that I needed to know. I had fun during our Starbucks chats, and I really appreciated that you would read through the manuscript with me to help ensure I got everything right. Thank you very much!
I’d also like to thank the parents, whether close friends or Facebook and Twitter acquaintances, who helped me see the world through the eyes of a nine-year-old. Thank you, Kathy Vucic and TJ Parass for sharing Oliver’s writing samples, and Tom and Katie Freure for all of your kid-writing tips. And also to Andrew Selluski, Chantal Barlow, Marina Campbell-Matthews, Diana Flumian, Theresa Harding Gilligan, and Joanne Tenyenhuis.
To Dan Erenburg, one of my favourite New Yorkers, for giving me the answers to all of my Manhattan questions.
Thank you to the amazingly talented Negin Sairafi for the picture on the back of this book. I always have so much fun at our photo shoots, and she is a genius behind the camera.
And a big thanks to Constable Matt Baker, a dear friend and fantastic police officer, who let me ask him endless questions about his work. Whether it was a silly question sent over text message about whether or not a cop would take their shoes off when walking into a person’s home, or a bigger discussion around protocol when dealing with missing children, Matt was always willing to help.
Helen Keller once said, “Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.” These words took on new meaning to me when I published my first book, and realized how many people (and how much work!) goes into each one. I’d like to thank all of the many people at ECW Press who have touched Elephant in the Sky along the way.
First, to my amazingly talented editor, Jen Hale, who has the ability to seamlessly move from lighthearted chatter about what a nine-year-old might call his parents to intense conversations about the impact of mental illness on a family. I know how lucky I am to be able to work with someone who edits the words on the page while also brilliantly reading between the lines of the story. Jen, you not only turn me into a better wr
iter, but you are also a treasured friend.
To Erin Creasey, whose early and avid endorsement helped open so many doors. Thank you for being in my corner and for helping me in so many ways since the very beginning.
To Crissy Calhoun for all of her hard work and guidance. (And for always letting me have “a few extra days” whenever I needed it. You have no idea how much it helped!)
Thank you to my publicist, Sarah Dunn, for helping me get the message out about Elephant in the Sky and for always being there to help in whatever way is needed.
To David Gee, who kept designing until we got to the cover on the front of this book. I think it’s amazing. You are so talented!
Thank you to Laura Pastore for proofreading the manuscript, Rachel Ironstone for the typesetting and production, and all of the amazing sales reps at Manda and Legato for keeping Elephant in the Sky on the right peoples’ radars.
And to Jack David and David Caron, the publishers of ECW Press, for having the faith in me to write a second book. Jack and David, you have built an amazing company and I’ve loved working with everyone throughout the entire process.
And thank you always and forever to my family, both immediate and extended …
To our amazing nanny, Chelsea Bradshaw, who uses her imagination to create magical worlds of discovery for my favourite three wee ones, while also taking amazing care of them in every possible way. I love how you love our kids and am so appreciative of all that you do for our whole family.
To Viola Burr, and in loving memory of Great Nana, who read Chai Tea Sunday out loud multiple times. Your support means the world to me.
To my big and happy family that I am so blessed to have married into: John and Donna Rawbone, Carolyn and Ivano Tonin, David and Karen Rawbone, Leanne and Mike Rafter … and for the ten grandchildren (ages five and under!) who fill our family functions with so much happy chaos. I have the sweetest nieces and nephews in the world — and I love them so much I couldn’t help but borrow their names for some of the characters in this book.
To my brothers, Ian Clark and Steven Clark, who continue to fill my world with endless laughter and unhinged adventures. You guys are the best brothers a girl could ask for.
To Jessica Belaire, who not only rocks as a sister-in-law, but also helped me so much throughout the writing of this book, including helping me think of the perfect title.
And to Dale Mosser for always opening the doors to his cottage so I could write in the most beautiful place in the world. Dale, your kindness is never-ending.
To the two people who first taught me about unconditional love. Thank you to my mom, Ann Clark, for believing that I could do this before anyone else did. And to my dad, Bill Clark, for teaching me that dreams come true through determination and hard work. We don’t get to pick our parents, but if we did, I’d still pick mine. I love you lots.
And finally, thank you to the great loves of my life: my husband (who is so wonderful he deserves two mentions) and my children, Avary, Jacob, and Emerson.
A portion of the proceeds from the sale of Elephant in the Sky will be donated to Artbound, a non-profit volunteer initiative that harnesses the power of the arts to ensure that underprivileged children live better lives.
Partnering with artists and those passionate about the arts, Artbound raises funds to build schools in developing nations to provide children with a full education, including art schools and programming. Their programs are designed to empower children through leadership training and the development of skills that will improve their living conditions and generate sustainable income to help break the cycle of poverty. In addition to arts programming, Artbound also raises funds for clean water facilities, medical care and alternative income programs — all working in unison to allow children to learn and develop in a healthy and safe environment.
Still, many more children are left behind, struggling with debilitating poverty and lack of education. Artbound will continue to raise funds to build new and fully sustainable infrastructures in communities most in need across the globe.
The Artbound team is comprised of young Canadian leaders from various industries who are dedicated to engaging a global community in volunteer, school building and mentorship. Please visit artbound.ca to learn more.
Invite Heather to Join Your Book Club
Heather loves to join in on the conversation. If your book club has selected Chai Tea Sunday or Elephant in the Sky and would like her to attend your meeting, just ask and she will meet you there! If distance is a challenge, Heather will video call your group using Skype or FaceTime, or call into the book club over the phone.
Simply go to HeatherAClark.com to contact Heather with the date and time, and she will do her best to schedule a visit.
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Copyright © Heather A. Clark, 2014
Published by ECW Press
2120 Queen Street East, Suite 200, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M4E 1E2
416-694-3348 / info@ecwpress.com
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any process — electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise — without the prior written permission of the copyright-owner and ECW Press. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
LIBRARY AND ARCHIVES CANADA CATALOGUING IN PUBLICATION
Clark, Heather A., 1977-, author
Elephant in the sky / Heather A. Clark.
Issued in print and electronic formats.
ISBN: 978-1-77090-492-7 (ePUB) | 978-1-77090-491-0 (PDF) | 978-1-77041-083-1 (PBK)
I. Title.
PS8605.L36225E54 2014 C813’.6 C2013-907765-0
C2013-907766-9
Editor for the press: Jennifer Hale
Cover and text design: David Gee
Cover image: © Alloy Photography/Veer
Author photo: © Negin Sairafi
The publication of Elephant in the Sky has been generously supported by the Canada Council for the Arts which last year invested $157 million to bring the arts to Canadians throughout the country, and by the Ontario Arts Council (OAC), an agency of the Government of Ontario, which last year funded 1,681 individual artists and 1,125 organizations in 216 communities across Ontario for a total of $52.8 million. We also acknowledge the financial support of the Government of Canada through the Canada Book Fund for our publishing activities, and the contribution of the Government of Ontario through the Ontario Book Publishing Tax Credit and the Ontario Media Development Corporation.