Braver With You (Great Love Book 1)

by A. Hart

  Calvin

  I sat staring out of the plane window fantasizing about Emerson below in our duplex with Copper. I pictured them snuggled up on the couch watching some nature documentary. I smiled as the thought warmed my heart. Everything about her warmed me. How could this girl love me? I was in complete shock at how lucky I was and how close I got to losing her not only once but twice. I knew what I needed to do but more so it was what I wanted to do. I wanted her to know that this was the real thing and that I was here for the long haul. That’s why when we went to dinner with her parents the week before I had made sure to talk to her Dad alone. At first he seemed concerned and then he smiled as he gave me his blessing and a big slap on the back. All I wanted was to see her beautiful smile and blushed cheeks walk down the aisle to me and to hear her say I do.

  I sat breathing in and out in anxiety, watching the puffy white clouds pass by the wings of my plane. The thoughts raced through my mind. I was so close to having her forever and I was scared, for the first time in my life I was truly scared. I was terrified that I would never be able to ask the question that I needed to ask. I had decided not to do it before I left because I wanted it to be done right. In order for it to be done right I needed time and she needed time. Also I didn’t want to propose and then have something happen to me. Having your boyfriend die isn’t quite as devastating as having your new fiancé die. I was prepared for the worst and needed her to be too.

  I took a deep breath and focused on my daydream about Emerson laying on the sofa with Cop. “Sir…” I shook my head to look up at the stewardess standing over me and I returned her light smile. “Yes mam” I responded, she smiled again “Sir what would you like a drink?” I shook my head lightly hoping to return to my daydream of Em. “No thank you Mam.” She smiled wider, “Actually Sir it’s already paid for, you can get anything that you would like.”

  I was surprised for a moment and a little confused. I must have given her a look that told her as much because she spoke as if she was answering a question. “Yes well some patrons saw you saying good bye to your family and over heard that you are deploying, they have agreed to pay for any and all of your food and drinks along with the use of one of our personal TV’s and headphones.” I have to admit my jaw dropped a little and then I nodded in response with a smile from ear to ear. “Well…Um…Thank you! Then I’ll just take a rum and coke please.” She nodded in response, smiling warmly back at me and began to mix my drink.

  What happened next completely shocked me to my very core. It completely threw me off guard and brought me out of my daydream and back in my seat. Nothing like it had ever occurred in the last couple of years that I had been in the Army. As the stewardess handed me my drink a man stood a couple rows in front of me, faced me and began clapping. People began rising from their seats and clapping all over the plane. The plane began roaring with clapping.

  I was overwhelmed with the very emotion that got me through every mission. The feeling of patriotic pride, honor and love. I could feel the warmth travel from my skin down to my very core. I stood in response and did a cheers motion with my drink to everyone. I have to admit it was a little awkward but it was extremely humbling and I was very grateful. I didn’t believe I deserved that kind of admiration. I wasn’t a hero, I just did whatever job needed to get done in order to keep innocents safe.

  I had known true heroes, buddies of mine that never came home or came home broken. I took a moment to dedicate the honorable gesture and clapping to them in my mind, thanking each one of them and telling them all that they were my brothers. I made sure to make a toast to little Mariam in my mind. My little angel. If my grandpa was right and God blessed us all with becoming stars in the night, watching over the ones we loved, then they were all up there somewhere. At the moment my thought ended, a gust of wind shook our plane. I took that as their response that they indeed heard me and were as humbled as I was.

  I smiled and sat back in my seat. Over the next fifteen minutes people came up to me and shook my hand, wishing me a safe return home. I thanked each one of them and enjoyed two drinks. It was against usual Army protocol. We weren’t supposed to drink while on duty or while in uniform, however it was a gift given out of respect. Even my boss, Saxon would agree that would be rude and just plain unpatriotic to deny it. Thankfully the drinks took a tiny bit of my anxiety away but not nearly enough to make the ache in my gut go away.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Emerson

  I sat in class staring at the wall. I played with the last letter I had gotten from Cal between my fingers, hoping that I could somehow keep a little piece of him with me in that moment. I was completely uninterested in anything my professor was saying and looked at my phone. I realized that time was going by extremely slow. It had been over 6 weeks since Cal left and two weeks since a phone call, a week since I received mail or e-mail. The last letter was in my hand and I squeezed it in that moment closing my eyes and trying to keep my tears in. I couldn’t help but think about where he was and what he was doing. I thought about it all the time. I needed to hear from him and know that he was okay. I had been spending a lot of time with Cal’s family since he left. Sarah even started hanging out with Jenny with me. They hit it off right away.

  Jenny, Sarah and I had movie nights, shopping trips and lunch dates. I also went to Sunday dinner every week at Cal’s parents’ house with Sam, Jenny, Ethel and his parents each week since. Cal’s mom had insisted that I came every Sunday when we were there last. Cal and I had gone together the Sunday before he left. Spending time with them, being surrounded by people who also loved him, being in the house he grew up in and reading his letters over and over….that’s what got me through each day.

  Suddenly my phone beeped and I looked down at it noticing that I had a new e-mail. Immediately my chest began beating faster and my blood began flowing through my veins. My head got light and fuzzy and I felt like I was floating. Calm down Emerson it’s probably just spam. I took a deep breath and tucked my phone into my scrub pocket. I walked down the hall and into the bathroom. Leaning against the wall I quickly opened my e-mail. All I saw was “Hey Baby.” And I quickly clicked on it with a smile plastered across my face and a tear running down my cheek.

  I am so sorry I haven’t been able to call or e-mail you. I did write you a couple times in the last week but we haven’t been anywhere that I could get the mail out. I just got to this place a little bit ago. I am safe, far from the enemy so you can sleep easy tonight. I can’t talk on the phone however I can e-mail for the next two hour’s…I know you have class but can you talk??? Love you!

  Love, Cal

  My heart sped up and my smile spread about as big as I think it could ever possibly get. I went into class and told the professor I wasn’t feeling well, which wasn’t a complete lie. I was feeling a rush of emotions and I really wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything he was saying. I sat in my car and quickly e-mailed Cal back.

  Give me 20 minutes to get home and let Copper out. I can’t describe how happy I am right now. I love you!

  Love, Em

  Calvin

  I laid in bed staring at the ceiling after a couple hours of back and forth e-mail with Emerson. I had to pull myself away from the computer and trust me that wasn’t easy. I didn’t want to say good-bye to her however I knew I had to be up before the sun for our mission. I longed to hear her voice but the phones were down for the next few days. Hopefully they would be back up by the time I got back to base. I thought that getting off of the computer would mean I would sleep but I should have known better. I just kept thinking of her. That was all I ever did. I felt at ease knowing that she was safe in her bed, hopefully going to sleep. Knowing that she was happy, healthy and still in love with me made things easier.

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, willing the sleep to come over me. I needed rest for whatever laid ahead of me. I was still exhausted from the mission I returned from last night. Just go to sleep Smith. I looked over to Max,
my best friend’s bed. He was fast asleep snoring like a baby after it just had a warm bottle. I rolled my eyes and then closed them again. I counted to twenty slowly and pictured Emerson’s smiling face lying next to mine. I felt my cheeks spread into a slight smile and my heart warmed. I let my mind drift into her laughter. Whatever tomorrow brought I would face it and I would do whatever it took to get back to my girl.

  Emerson

  I sat in my car ready to go into class when suddenly my phone rang. As usual my heart sped up and my head felt like it was floating. I quickly grabbed my phone out of my back pack. I sighed and shook my head as I realized this was a local number and therefore was not Cal. I looked at the clock, I had five minutes before I needed to walk to class. I decided to just go ahead and answer it. “Hello.” I said “Hello mam, this is Lt. Miller down at the Placer County Sheriff’s office. May I please speak to Emerson Williams?”

  My brow furrowed as I suddenly felt panicked. “Um yeah this is her. Is everything okay?” My heart sped up again and I waited impatiently for him to answer. “Yes Mam. I just need to speak to you as soon as you can come down here.” I blew out a deep breath “Um yeah I can come down after school…that isn’t until 5 is that okay?” He paused for a moment like he was busy with something else. “Yes mam that is fine, I will be here until 7 tonight.” I nodded “Okay.” I hung up the phone completely clueless. What could this possibly be about? My heart dropped as I realized exactly who it was most likely about, Sid. I looked at the clock again and began booking it to class. I couldn’t miss today since we were going over crucial material. Shit. It is going to be a long fucking day.

  Finally I was done with all of my classes and I ran to my car. I literally ran. I knew I looked ridiculous but I was dying to know what the Lt. wanted to talk to me about. I couldn’t concentrate all day worrying about it. Fifteen minutes later I pulled up to the Sheriff’s station and took a deep breath. I stepped out of the car, whatever it is… it’s going to be okay. I walked into the Sheriff’s station and told the very pretty blonde lady at the counter that I was there to see Lt. Michaels. She pointed me to the waiting area and told me to help myself to water or coffee. I decided to take her up on the coffee.

  As I was adding my usual four packets of sugar I heard a familiar rough voice from behind me. “Miss Williams?” I turned around to see a familiar looking shorter, older gentleman with a little bald batch I the middle of his head. I nodded my head as I placed my coffee cup down “Yes sir.” He reached out and shook my hand. “It’s nice to see you again. I met you at the Smith party a few weeks back.” Ah yes that was it. “Yes it’s nice to see you again…” Damn what was his name again? He smiled lightly “Lesley Michaels.” Aww yes that’s it. Then I realized what his last name was and put two and two together “Oh Lt. Michaels. Yes hi you called me?” He nodded his head “Yes Miss Williams if you can come with me to my office.” I followed him feeling very anxious and running through all of the possibilities in my head.

  I sat in his office with him and another officer that I recognized from both incidents with Sid. He had also been one of the officers that spoke to Cal and me at the hospital about Sid. Suddenly my cheeks felt very hot and hands felt clammy. I clasped them together and squeezed my own hand like I had done through many rounds of Chemo. Lt. Michaels sat behind his desk as the other officer sat in the chair next to me. He shook my hand and re-introduced himself “Nice to see you again Miss Williams, Officer Lima.” I nodded my head and squeezed a reply out of my tight throat. “Yes, hi.”

  I looked back at Lt. Michaels as he began to speak. “Miss Williams I apologize for making you come down here however I like to talk to victims in person about these kinds of things.” I tilted my head a little “What kind of thing would that be?” He clasped his hands together and placed them on his desk as he responded “Sid Cole died this morning.” I sat back in my chair a little thrown off. I thought he was going to say that Sid escaped or that he was released but he died? I shook my head a little “but he was in prison… I don’t understand…how?” Officer Lima answered me “He was murdered at 4 am this morning by a fellow inmate. He was supposed to be segregated due to his charges and his criminal history. We are not sure how the inmate was able to get into his cell but he was strangled to death.” I blinked slowly trying to take it all in. He was dead? I looked up at him, not sure how I should feel.

  Officer Lima placed his hand on my arm “It’s okay to feel confused right now. It’s a strange occurrence and it’s hard to figure out what emotions you are supposed to be feeling. This is why we like to tell victims in person.” I nodded my head. I looked up at Lt. Michaels “Now what?” He shook his head “Well nothing for you or any of his other victims.” He lowered his voice a little. “Off the record I never think that death is a good thing and I am always sad when a life is taken by another human. However I do believe that good can come from things like this….” He paused for a second and locked eyes with mine. “Now all of his Victims can sleep at night.” I nodded my head and stood up. I shook both of their hands “Thank you LT… Officer…”

  I drove home in silence feeling a wide variety of emotions. How am I going to tell Cal? I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly.

  Calvin

  I sat at the end of my bunk with my computer resting on my knees staring at the screen just as I had been for the last twenty minutes. Max opened our room door and although I didn’t look up to see his face I imagined he was furrowing his brows. I heard it in his voice as he slowly walked to his bunk and threw a magazine down. “Dude is there a naked pic of your girl on that screen or something because I left to take a shit like twenty minutes ago and you’re still staring at that thing with the same dumb look.” I shook my head while still staring at the screen and then looked up at him. “Whoa dude what’s up…I haven’t seen you like this in a while…” I lifted my computer off my lap about an inch and gestured it towards him. He sat next to me as I lowered it back to my lap. I gestured to the screen. We sat staring at the same message for almost a minute.

  Hey babe,

  I hope you’re safe, I miss you. I don’t really know how to say this or when a good time would be but to be honest I am selfish and didn’t want to waste one of our rare phone calls on this…So I’m just going to say it. Sid is dead. He was killed in prison yesterday. I am so sorry. I know this is hard news for you. I love you….

  Love, Em

  Finally Max killed the silence. “Fuck Man.” I nodded “Yeah...fuck.” He patted me on the back “That’s some heavy shit right there. He was like your bro growing up but then he turned into a prick and tried to kill your girl…to be honest he’s lucky you didn’t kill him because if it was Megan he fucked with, nothing would have stopped me.” I half smiled “Yeah I know man.” I said in a low voice. He stood up “You need a hug? Cause I hate that shit but whatever you need man.” I shut my computer “Fuck No, I’m traumatized enough from seeing your nasty ass feet earlier.” He laughed a deep gut laugh and slapped me on the back. “I got to go call Meg, talk to you later.” I nodded my head. Before he left the doorway he turned back “Hey Smith.” I looked up “yeah?” He twisted his face a little “Seriously don’t sweat it alright?” I rubbed my hands together and nodded “Yeah.”

  After Max left I sat there just staring at the wall. The words kept running through my head. Sid is dead. I didn’t know how I felt or how I was supposed to feel. There was a thousand emotions rushing through me and I couldn’t grab onto one long enough to recognize what the hell it was. The only thought I could really process made me feel more morbid than usual and I think that was what was bothering me. I didn’t want to become immune to death. Soldiers and paramedics, which I was both, talk about becoming desensitized to death and I was always very conscious of that. I was always trying to keep myself from being morbid but this just rocked me. I think I was sad for the boy I knew, that his future became so shitty and that he had great potential to be something better. I shook my head and looked at my runnin
g shoes. I decided there was only one thing that could cure me right now. Since Emerson wasn’t there I would settle for the second best thing. I needed a long exhausting run that left me empty of all the shit running through my mind. I grabbed my shoes and pulled them on my feet. Before I left the room I went to my computer and popped it open.

  Hey Sexy, Calling you in 2 hours. Be ready. Love you, Cal

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Calvin

  I had ran around the compound twice and had exhausted every muscle in my body. I felt the after running high that I was hoping would substitute my after Emerson high. It was an okay replacement, however I would prefer Emerson any day. I was finally able to clear my mind and let go of all my frustration, anger and guilt. I was over it and decided that the asshole didn’t deserve any more of my time.

  I grabbed my water bottle off of the bench where I had left it and began slurping down water. As sweat ran down my face I sprang into the lobby where the phone was. I walked up noticing that Max was leaning back in the sofa chair that sat next to the phone. He was still chatting away. I looked around the room and noticed no one was around for the phone, which was odd for a free day. I walked up to him. “Hey Meg hold on a sec.” He looked up at me “Hey man.” I laughed lightly “Uh hey why is there no one in line for the phone? You drug them all?” He laughed “Damn if only I was bright enough to think of that…next time.” He winked at me

  “No man Thomas got a bootleg copy of the last UFC fight so everyone is huddled around his computer.” I nodded my head “Got it. Well hey I need to call Emerson when you’re done.” He smiled “Yeah man go shower your nasty ass and when you get back I’ll be off.” I nodded “Hi Meg!” I yelled. “Yeah it’s smith.” He said into the phone and then yelled up at me as I walked away “She says don’t drop the soap.” I smiled as I laughed to myself and as Max’s laughter roared through the hallway.