“What’s going on?” Malinda asked from the direction of the bedroom door.
Hannah didn’t bother to look up, on a mission to get this room cleared so she could get to painting. “I called Aaron by the wrong name when we were about to have sex last night,” she confessed.
“Umm, Hannah,” Malinda tried to interrupt, but Hannah kept right on with her rant. She needed to vent. The mattress slamming and head slapping hadn’t really worked.
“I haven’t had sex in over five years. I’m about to get some, which I know is going to be amazing based on how magically he used his hands, and I call him Steven. Can you believe that? On the verge of a friggin’ orgasm and I call him Steven! I deserve an orgasm, dammit! Five years! Five friggin’ years!”
“Han, I’m not alone here,” Malinda finally got a word in.
Hannah took a break from the mattress and turned to find her mom and Donna standing right next to Malinda just inside the doorway. They all smiled as Hannah’s cheeks lit up.
“So are you punishing the mattress?” her mom asked, still smiling, obviously trying to lighten the mood.
Ok, this was fine. All of these women had had sex before. Hannah knew this because they were all mothers. Well, except for Malinda, but Malinda was her best friend, so of course Hannah was privy to the sordid details of her sex life. Plus, they were all adults. Grown adult women knew what an orgasm was. So no big deal that she’d ranted like a lunatic about deserving one, right?
“I need to paint this room,” she said, hoping further talk of orgasms and anything to do with sex could be evaded in front of her mother and mother-in-law.
“Great,” Donna said, clapping her hands. “I love to paint. Let me help you with that mattress.”
“Yeah, me too,” her mom said. “And your father is driving me crazy with that shed of his, so painting will keep me away from that craziness for the day.”
Malinda didn’t say anything, just got to work. In about ten minutes the room was clear. Malinda and Donna started with the tape. Hannah pried open the first gallon and started stirring the paint. Her mom got to work putting the roller brushes together.
“Wow,” Malinda said, looking over her shoulder. “That’s purple.”
“No, it’s Aubergine Garden,” Hannah corrected.
“Does Tabs know you’re painting your bedroom purple? She’s going to pitch a fit,” Malinda said.
“Her room is already purple. So there’s nothing to have a fit over.”
“Yeah, but her room isn’t this purple. Wow, is that purple. Are you sure that’s the color you want to go with?”
Hannah shot her a dirty look. “I need a change,” she said slowly, over-enunciating her words.
“Oh, change is good, sweetheart” her mom said.
“Yeah, and if you get fat because you can’t stop craving eggplant parmesan, you can always paint it again in a fat free color,” Donna said.
They all started laughing. Even Hannah, who initially didn’t find the thought of getting fat funny, but the ridiculousness of the statement, and Aubergine Garden, was hysterical.
When the laughter finally calmed, Hannah’s felt her mom’s hand on her shoulder. “Are you sure this is the color you want, sweetheart?”
Hannah touched her mom’s hand. “I’m sure I want to try something new. Aubergine Garden is a good start.”
“I think Aaron Hawkins was a good start,” her mom said through a smile that beamed with pride.
Hannah blushed again as Malinda and Donna smiled and nodded.
Aaron was a good start. Everything was changing. She wasn’t focused on that stupid formula anymore. She still talked to Malinda every day and held true to her parenting philosophy. The fight back was just a part of life now. It was how she’d met Aaron, who hadn’t fit into her formula, but she wasn’t worried. She loved … spending time with him.
She smiled at the women who surrounded her, appreciating their approval. She was a grown woman, responsible for her own decisions, but Hannah still longed for the approval of those she loved.
Turning her attention to the open gallon of paint, she dared a quick glance at the sage green walls that surrounded them in the empty room. “Let’s paint!”
With only had two roller brushes, she and Malinda got to work. In no time, they had all four walls of the room covered. Then Donna and her mom took over to get the second coat on.
“Wow,” they all said as they stood there in awe.
“So this is what an Aubergine Garden looks like,” Donna said.
“I think I’ll make eggplant parmesan for dinner,” her mom said.
“It looks like a survivor t-shirt,” Hannah realized. And as soon as she said it, she wished she hadn’t picked this color. There were no survivors sleeping in this room.
“No, it’s a lot darker than a survivor shirt. It’s definitely Aubergine Garden,” Malinda said. “It’s probably a good idea to let it dry overnight. We can help you move the furniture back tomorrow before church.”
“Oh, no. I’m making dinner for Aaron. We need to get everything back in here. We don’t have to push it against the walls, but it needs to be out of my living room.”
Hannah took a drink of water as she took in all the purple. Her mom came up next to her and put one arm around her shoulders. “Do you want Tabitha to spend the night with us so you can try for another one of those well-deserved orgasms?” she asked.
The water ended up all over the laminate floor. Hannah was grateful she wasn’t drinking soda because that would have hurt coming out through her nose like the water had. She cleared her throat a couple times under the laughter of her family.
And though Hannah thought trying for another well-deserved orgasm would be a grand idea, she was pretty sure Aaron wasn’t going to be game for it. He said it had nothing to do with his ego, but she wasn’t convinced. Plus, she missed her daughter. “Thanks, Mom, but no. Tabs can stay home tonight.”
After they finished getting all the furniture back in Hannah’s bedroom, every piece in a new location, with the new curtains hung and the new linens on the bed, her family left. Hannah sat down on the creaky swing and realized she had forgotten to pick up WD-40. Whatever. She was enjoying a nice cool glass of white wine, to celebrate change. The creaky swing wasn’t going to spoil the celebration. A few minutes later, Aaron and Tabitha returned.
Tabitha called out a “Hi Mommy” as she ran from the truck right down the hill to the trampoline in the front yard. Hannah wasn’t surprised. It was a ritual. On any nice day, the trampoline was the first place Tabs headed.
“Did you move from that spot?” Aaron asked as he sat next to her.
Hannah laughed as she rested her hand on his leg and leaned into him. He had no idea.
He traced a spot of paint on her hand. “What’s this? Did you paint something?”
She laughed again. “Yeah.”
“Tabitha’s room?” he asked. Everyone knew purple was Tabitha’s favorite color.
“Mine,” she said.
“Huh.” She waited for him to ask why, grateful when he didn’t inquire further. Of course, the man was intelligent. It didn’t take a genius to know why she would paint her bedroom only hours after she’d called the subject of her desire the wrong name. Twice. He’d been there after all, and presence was a bigger factor than genius in this situation.
After a long pause he asked, “So, are you going to show me?”
“You’ve been spending entirely too much time with Tabitha if you’re starting your sentences with the word ‘so’.”
He laughed. “It would appear so,” he said. “May I see your artwork?”
“That’s better,” she said getting up from the swing and leading him to her bedroom.
“Wow, that’s purple,” he said, standing behind her.
She couldn’t help but laugh. Was that going to be everyone’s response? “It’s Aubergine Garden,” she said through her laughter.
“You rearranged the furniture, too,” he
observed.
“I needed a change,” she said pointedly. Though change had been coming from all directions ever since meeting Aaron. From Hannah’s perspective all that was left to do was get naked. That was a change she really needed. Apparently, a purple bedroom was necessary to make that happen.
Aaron wrapped his arms around her and kissed the back of her head. “I like it,” he said. “You didn’t do this all by yourself, did you?”
“Mom, Malinda, and Donna showed up just as I was getting started. They left just before you two got back.”
“Wow, Mommy! Your room is purple!” Tabs pushed her way past Aaron and Hannah and looked all around the room. “It’s so beautiful!”
Tabs danced and spun around in the room like a ballerina. Hannah realized the room looked bigger with this arrangement. She’d have to walk around the bed to get to the bathroom, but at least it wasn’t facing the door. She was still good on the Feng Shui angle.
“I need a shower,” she said, realizing she was covered in paint and sweat. “And I kinda forgot about dinner.”
“You get in the shower,” Aaron said as they watched Tabitha pirouette. “Tabitha and I will take care of dinner. If I can pull her away from all this purple.”
Chapter 14
Tabitha was more than excited to be on the way to the carnival at the Lilac Festival. Last year on Memorial Day she was too short to go on some of the rides, Having grown four whole inches since then, she was sure she’d be able to go on every ride this year, and because Friday night was bracelet night, she could go on as many rides as she wanted.
Hannah knew the rides would be fun, but with Tabs’ excitement they would be at the carnival for hours. Which meant she would be too exhausted by the time they got home to want to invite Aaron into her bed. Maybe that idea was futile anyway.
A whole week had passed since her little slip and he had hardly touched her. They had dinner together every night, sat on the swing, talking, laughing, holding hands, kissing … but that was it. Hannah was too embarrassed to make a move, but frustration had taken root waiting for Aaron. She wondered if he still wanted her or if she had completely blown it.
The excitement of the carnival reached them even on their journey down Savageville Road. The music from the rides carried across the warm air. The lights made the sky glow all over the little town. Just as she had been all week, Tabitha talked about the rides she wanted to go on. Hannah smiled patiently, feeling that Tabs had talked the carnival to death, in the way only a seven year old could.
Tabs extended the distance from Hannah and Aaron as they held hands and strolled at a leisurely pace. At least the distance lulled the carnival talk. Hannah laughed to herself, thinking how Tabitha had done the exact same thing that Saturday morning when she had secretly invited Aaron to meet them for breakfast.
When they got close to the Post Office, Hannah tugged on the invisible leash and made Tabitha wait. Yeah, it was Lisbon. Yeah, it was probably safe, but her daughter was seven and losing her in a crowd wasn’t on Hannah’s to-do list for the night. Or ever, so she stopped Tabs and gave her the safety briefing.
“You need to be with either me or Aaron at all times. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Mommy. So no one steals me.”
“That’s right. And what happens if we get separated?”
“I don’t move. I just wait for you and you’ll find me. If someone tries to make me go with them, I say no and get help, and scream if I have to.”
“Good girl, but we’re not going to get separated, are we?”
“Nope. You’re going to go on all the rides with me,” Tabs said with excitement. She gave Hannah a hug, then stood in between Hannah and Aaron, holding hands with both of them.
Hannah noticed Aaron adjust the camera bag slung over his shoulder. She loved how the mechanical pencil he used was tucked behind his ear. She smiled picturing where he kept his small notepad, right there in the back pocket of the Levi jeans he filled out so nicely.
She was happy he was with them, even though tonight he was on the job along with tomorrow, too. He was covering some of the Lilac Festival Festivities for the paper. Tonight rides. Tomorrow the 5K road race, the parade, and the car show. Working the festival didn’t seem to curb his enthusiasm at all. With a huge smile stretched across his face, softening that strong jaw and giving life to the cleft in his chin, he looked as excited as Tabitha.
“You’ve got a goofy smile,” she said as they approached the carnival.
“I love the rides. All of them. Especially the faster ones. The Tornado. The Tilt-a-whirl. The Zipper. I love ‘em all.”
“Yay. You can go on them with me!” Tabitha cheered.
“Absolutely!” he replied.
When they got to the carnival they headed directly to the ticket booth and Aaron bought three bracelets. They followed Tabs to the big slide, and raced down together. She laughed as Aaron held his hands up in victory, just barely beating Tabs to the bottom.
Losing the race didn’t even cause Tabs to miss a beat. She quickly handed the potato sack to the attendant and was off in the direction of the tilt-a-whirl. The night went on with Tabitha racing all around the carnival while Aaron and Hannah trailed behind.
“How ‘bout a frosty, Tabs?” Hannah asked, needing a break from the spinning and dropping and twirling.
“Yay!” Tabs called and led the way.
“She’s mental,” Aaron said, shaking his head. “I’m beat. Where does she get all that energy?”
“She’s seven. I bet she’ll crash hard tonight,” Hannah said, giving Aaron her I could devour you look. If Tabs passed out as soon as she hit the pillow, maybe they didn’t need the five hundred yard radius and she and Aaron could have their own carnival ride.
“I know what that look means,” he said to her.
Good. She wasn’t trying to be subtle.
It was a long walk home after four hours of all the rides you could fit in, fried dough, cotton candy, and ice cream. Hannah wished they had driven because the climb up Savageville took every last ounce of energy she could muster. Maybe she could just strap a leash around her waist and have Tabs pull her because that girl seemed to have an endless supply of adrenaline. Hopefully it would run out as soon as her teeth were brushed.
Tabs talked the entire walk home. It was the best Lilac Festival ever. She didn’t care that it was only the first night. She was finally tall enough to go on all the rides, couldn’t wait to go on them again tomorrow, and the parade was going to be awesome. She was hoping to catch lots of candy.
When they finally reached the house, Tabs brushed her teeth and kissed them both good night. Aaron and Hannah embarked on their usual evening activity, sitting on the creaky swing under the night sky.
She curled her legs up and snuggled against his chest. What a fun night it had been, she thought as she took in the glow of the carnival still in the sky. Aaron was able to keep pace with Tabs a lot better than Hannah was, but then, she wasn’t big into the rides. She liked the bungee and trampoline contraption. The slide was great too, but the spinning rides just weren’t her thing. Nope, she was happy to hold on to Aaron’s camera while he and Tabs went round and round and up and down.
Hannah had to agree with Tabs, it was the best Lilac Festival ever. She knew it even though it was just the first night. Was it because Tabitha was at the perfect age to enjoy it? Maybe her excitement about the parades was just contagious. The anticipation of the Sunday night fireworks probably contributed to the feeling. Being with Aaron also made it special.
He had certainly brightened their lives in just the short time she had known him. Hannah could hardly believe where she was. A month ago she had her perfect, simple formula. Never again fall in love. That was one way she could beat cancer. She wouldn’t lose another man she loved to the horrible disease. If she didn’t love a man, there was nothing to lose. Well, that formula was like melting snow on the first warm spring day. Going … going … gone.
Hannah’s heart
raced every time she saw Aaron – or simply heard his voice on the phone. Hell, even just thinking about him. When they weren’t together, her heart ached for him. As did other parts – the parts that still hadn’t fully experienced his charm and sex appeal.
Sitting on the swing with his arms wrapped around her, feeling the racing of her heart, Hannah knew what she was facing. The diagnosis was dire. The prognosis … inevitable. She wasn’t ready, though, to own up to it. It still scared the hell out of her, and what about Steven? She twirled the wedding band still occupying the ring finger on her left hand. Was she betraying the man she had vowed to love forever?
After blinking a few times, Hannah noticed the glow in the sky disappear. The carnival was obviously shutting down. Her emotions were still on a roller coaster ride. Thinking about Steven while Aaron held her. Geez, it was like the tilt-a-whirl without a safety bar.
She managed to fight back the tears, but only because the ride was taking her around an angry turn. You deserve to be loved. Those words, Steven’s last words, rang in her head. She hated them. What a terrible thing to say to your wife just before you die. Like she didn’t know that. Hannah had plenty of people in her life who loved her. Tabs, her parents, Malinda. Sure, it wasn’t intimate, but it was all she needed – or so she had thought.
Hannah took a deep breath in and let it go on a long sigh, trying to get the roller coaster to ease up. As it did, she felt the race of her heart again.
She smiled sitting there in Aaron’s arms. He had changed her whole world. When had she stopped triggering her defense mechanisms? Oh yeah, screaming and dessert, the anniversary of Steven’s death. Yep, that was it. When she had finished screaming, she had stopped fighting the attraction to him. Mostly.
“What are you thinking about?” Aaron asked.
“Screaming,” she said on a chuckle.
“Do you need to take my truck again?” he asked, a note of concern in his voice.
“No, I don’t need to scream. I was just thinking about that night. I didn’t want to date you or anyone. Ever! It’s just funny how something so simple can change your perspective on things.”
Book Boyfriends Cafe Summer Lovin' Anthology 2015 Page 230