Reunited by Their Pregnancy Surprise

by Louisa Heaton

  ‘This place is like us, really,’ Sam observed.

  Emily turned to him. ‘How do you mean?’

  ‘Well, there’s the beautiful Temple of Love on show for everyone to see, and it all looks wonderful. But then you dig deeper, you come down here, and there’s a dark place—forbidding and scary.’

  Emily stepped out of the caves’ darkness, through one of the openings, to move out towards the lessening light of the day.

  ‘But, using your analogy, we’ve come through it together this time and we both know it’s there.’

  He nodded. ‘True.’

  Sam still wasn’t sure that he should have told Emily everything. The uselessness of his own father… Serena’s brief yet painful story. He wasn’t used to sharing things like that. He’d never done it and it felt strange. It made him feel naked. Exposed when he’d always had a protective wall around him.

  He knew the story was safe with Emily, but did she really grasp how much his past affected him?

  He’d not had a great father figure. In his eyes his father had been good for two things—making babies and drinking beer. Sam had been a better father to those kids than his own dad had—but on the other hand he had also let them down. He’d devastated them. It had been his plan to send his parents out for the night. His plan to make his mother go out. When he’d checked on Serena that time and assumed she was sleeping because she was so still, so quiet, had she really been sleeping? Or had she already passed away?

  It haunted him—the idea that he might have looked down upon his baby sister with love, not realising that she lay there dead.

  I should have known.

  The guilt still tore him apart, and the pain was still incredibly strong. And he still felt to blame. But Emily had welcomed the load. Had asked to take it on, no matter what it was. Had said that, as his wife, she was there to help him carry it. Make it easier.

  But he doubted it would ever be that. Easier.

  The plain fact of the matter now was, though, that Emily knew. Perhaps from here they could have a conversation about his fears about becoming a parent. About caring for this baby to come. His son or daughter.

  They would need a strong marriage. Raising a child was not easy. He knew how difficult it could be. Okay, so he and Emily did not have the financial worries his own parents had had, but it was still hard. And they would need to be united. He knew from the flashes of memory he’d had, and the admissions Em had made, that their marriage had deteriorated—and quickly.

  That concerned him greatly.

  He loved this woman so much, and yet they had both allowed it to crumble so quickly because neither of them had been able to talk the way they had today.

  Perhaps it took nearly losing your life, being in a terrible accident, having amnesia, to turn it around? To admit the problems and vow to work through them?

  He reached out to place his hand in the small of her back and guided her safely down the steps towards the boat. She turned to look at him, flashed him a smile, and—

  They were walking down the aisle. Newly married. Sun gleamed through the church windows and everyone was smiling. He looked up and saw his mother’s face. She was crying with happiness, her hands clutched together before her chest as if in prayer, and she was mouthing something to him. He couldn’t catch her words, and then as he passed her she reached out and took his hand.

  ‘Live, Sam. Be happy now.’

  He’d smiled back. Nodded. Promised that he would. And then he’d turned back to his wife and she’d looked at him and smiled and…

  He helped Emily into the boat. Made sure she was seated safely before he put the picnic basket inside and unchained the boat from the pier. With one of the wooden oars he pushed them away from the small island, and they drifted out across the water and he began to row.

  His mother had wanted him to be happy. Be happy now. Had his own mother seen how unhappy he’d been at home after Serena died? He’d tried to make up for it. He’d tried his best to prove that he was still a good son afterwards. But nothing had made his mother smile after that.

  But she smiled at the wedding. She was happy for me. She didn’t resent my happiness.

  Perhaps he ought to take the time actually to try and enjoy life. Was this why he was so driven? Filling his days with work and other distractions just so that he wasn’t thinking about Serena? Was that why his marriage had begun to fail? Instead of looking at the faults they had created, the problems they shared, he’d done what he’d always done—pushed it to one side and filled up his time with work.

  He’d thought that by ignoring the issues they would go away.

  The revelation was startling.

  He stopped rowing and the boat drifted quietly across the water.

  *

  Night had settled across Paris when they returned to their hotel. Emily donned the beautiful new powder-blue dress that Sam had secretly bought for her and stood in front of the mirror admiring it.

  Sam came up behind her and slid his hands over her burgeoning abdomen. It was still only a slight swelling, but she smiled, looking at the reflection of his face in the mirror.

  He looked content. And that was something she hadn’t seen for such a long time.

  ‘The dress is beautiful, Sam. Thank you.’

  ‘You’re more beautiful.’

  Her cheeks bloomed in the mirror and she laid her hands upon his, their fingers entwining. She looked up at him, hesitant.

  Was it too soon? Was it just right? If she pushed for them to make love now would it be wrong? Or just perfect?

  She felt so much closer to Sam now. Before she’d described him as being on a rescue boat far out to sea, miles away from her, but since his confession—since he’d told her about his family and about Serena especially—she’d felt as if he was within arms’ reach.

  Should she test it and see?

  She missed him. She missed the intimacy that they’d once shared. Surely now there was nothing that could keep them apart? Being together physically, emotionally, mentally, surely would just strengthen the bond that they were both trying to enforce?

  She met his gaze in the reflection. ‘Undo the zip.’

  He looked into her eyes. ‘You’ve just put it on.’

  ‘Yes. And now I want you to take it off me.’

  He looked hesitant. And for a brief moment she thought she’d pushed him too soon. Had asked, once again, for too much. But then—wonderfully—she watched in the mirror as his hands slid from hers, went to the zip at the nape of her neck and slowly, delicately, drew it down.

  She could feel his heated breath on the back of her neck, and she closed her eyes as she felt him slip the dress from her shoulders, his hands following close after, trailing over her shoulders, arms, her hips.

  The beautiful dress dropped to the floor and Emily turned to face him.

  ‘I love you, Sam, and I want you to love me.’

  ‘I do.’ His voice was deep, emotional.

  ‘Show me.’

  Sam stared deeply into her eyes for a brief, yet agonising moment, before he finally took her in his arms and kissed her.

  Emily sank into his embrace.

  This was what she had craved! It had never been about the great sex, the making love. It had been about the deep intimacy they had shared when they had been together physically. The closeness, the connection. The unity.

  Before, when they had been together, it had been great. Sam was a brilliant lover. But because she had never truly known her husband, never known all his secrets, there had never been that level of trust and vulnerability between them. Emily had always felt somehow, that she was being kept in the dark, and it had made her wonder if he had truly loved her.

  But now she felt she knew him. Knew his fears. His pain. His hurt. She knew his vulnerabilities, as he did hers, and now they were equal.

  She closed her eyes and gave herself up to Sam. This was what they needed to do. Be close like this. Intimate. They were working towards a greater
good within their marriage and this was what both of them needed right now. To solidify that bond…to unite them in their vows.

  As his hands and lips moved deftly over her body Emily found herself losing her train of thought. His lips upon her collarbone, her neck, were delightful. His hands had easily unclipped her bra and were now beautifully paying attention to her sensitive breasts, making her gasp and close her eyes…

  Her hands were on his body…too many clothes…

  He helped her remove them and once again she marvelled at his powerful, muscular body. The broad expanse of him, the wide shoulders, the narrow waist, the long, lean legs, his erection pressing against her stomach…

  Sam scooped her up and placed her on the bed with a gentleness that belied his size. His thumbs hooked into her underwear and she lifted her bottom so that he could remove it, and then he covered her with his body as his lips began to explore even more.

  Right now she just wanted to enjoy. Sam’s lips. Sam’s tongue. Sam’s body. Moving over…into her.

  Emily gasped, arching her body up against him as he drove in deep.

  *

  Afterwards, sated, they lay together in bed, Sam behind his wife.

  It had felt good to be with her. It had felt right. This was where he was supposed to be. This was who he was supposed to be with. He knew it in his bones and he was feeling much better now about having shared.

  It had brought them closer. Which was odd. That something so painful, so hurtful, had been the gateway for the two of them to connect.

  Life was strange that way.

  All this time he had kept it from her and in turn it had kept them apart. Obviously the old Sam hadn’t been able to see that. Or maybe he had, but hadn’t known what to do about it. How must it have felt to have seen his marriage crumbling?

  He shuddered inside, glad his memories about that had not come back fully. He wasn’t sure he wanted them—not now. Not now that things had changed. Now they were ready to face their future together. As one.

  There was still fear about his ability as a father, but it seemed…less. How was that? All he’d done was voice it. Something he’d always believed would be the worst thing ever. He had feared that Emily would be appalled. How had he allowed himself to believe that?

  But he guessed he had learned it from his parents. No one at home spoke about Serena ever. Mom was permanently depressed. Dad stayed away.

  I stayed away! Was I being like my own father? A man I’d always hated for staying away and not being there?

  Sam closed his eyes at the thought and pressed his lips to Emily’s shoulder.

  ‘You know, Sam, I’ve been thinking, and there are things that we can do.’

  He frowned. ‘What about?’

  ‘When the baby arrives. Keeping it safe.’

  She was so sweet. Thinking of his concerns. Knowing what he must be feeling.

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘We could get a monitor. Not just one of those walkie-talkie-type things, but one of those oxygen monitors—like a SATs device. We’d be able to keep an eye on it as the baby sleeps. We’d make sure it’s in the feet to foot position in the cot, make sure no blankets cover it’s head by getting a sleepsuit instead—things like that.’

  He pressed the length of his body against hers. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘What for?’

  ‘For trying to ease my worries.’

  She half turned and reached for him. ‘How could I not? You’ve already been through too much loss.’

  ‘My whole family has.’

  ‘I think you and your family ought to talk to someone. A counsellor, perhaps. Do you think they’d be open to that?’

  ‘I don’t know. All they’ve ever done is block it out.’

  ‘And look what that did. I nearly lost you, Sam—we let it come between us. It was my fault, too. I kept pushing when I should have stopped to ask myself why.’

  ‘You couldn’t have known.’

  ‘I could have if we’d been closer. If instead of just accepting what life had dealt us we’d fought against it. We both brought bad habits into our marriage and let them rule us, never pausing for a moment to think if it was right.’

  ‘We worked it out in the end.’

  ‘Yes, we did.’ She smiled.

  ‘Paris did the trick.’

  ‘It always does.’

  And as he moved to kiss her, and to make love to her once again, Emily pushed the thought of telling Sam the whole truth away.

  Paris had helped—but not in the way they’d ever thought or hoped. They had found each other in another way, and it was better than anything she’d ever hoped for.

  There was still time for Sam’s memories to come back, too, and if they did she felt sure they’d be okay.

  They were strong again.

  They were close.

  They were united.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  THEY COULD NOT come to Paris without exploring the Eiffel Tower. They had deliberately left it till last, despite the way it overlooked them, like a guardian, whilst they slept in their hotel room.

  ‘So, we have a choice. Do we want to climb the steps or use the lifts to reach each level?’

  Em laughed. ‘Considering my condition, I’m not sure I want to climb three hundred steps.’

  ‘The lift it is.’

  They stood at the base, craning their necks backwards to look up to the top.

  It was an incredibly powerful sight. Only when you were close could you really understand its size and the work that had gone into its construction.

  Emily took some photographs of them both, determined to get some pictures of them together into her phone. And then they were in the lift, travelling up with about eight others.

  Opposite them was a woman, heavily pregnant, with her sprawling abdomen spilling over the top of her trousers. Emily smiled at her, imagining herself at that size in a few months. It wouldn’t take long. And she couldn’t wait to feel the baby kick and move around.

  The woman was rubbing her hand over her abdomen.

  ‘How many weeks are you?’ asked Emily, hoping the woman spoke English.

  She did. ‘Thirty-five. This is our last trip before our world descends into chaos!’ The woman laughed good-naturedly.

  ‘You’re British?’

  ‘Yes. We came through the Channel Tunnel. I’m not allowed to fly now. You’re American?’

  Emily nodded. ‘Second honeymoon.’

  ‘Oh. Congratulations.’

  ‘To you, too.’

  The lift slowed to a stop and the doors opened. They got out on the first level of the tower.

  Paris lay spread out beneath them and it looked so different. The rooftops, the buildings old and new, all basking in the afternoon sunshine.

  ‘Look at that, Sam!’

  ‘I see it.’

  They both breathed in the view. There was something very calm and relaxing about looking at the city from here. Traffic bustled below, but up here there was a sense of peace. Of reflection.

  Emily glanced around her and saw the woman from the lift. She was rubbing at the small of her back and looked uncomfortable. She nodded to Sam. ‘Think she’s okay?’

  ‘I’m sure it’s just backache. You’ll get that big one day, and know exactly how she feels.’

  Emily smiled. ‘Remind me to enjoy it. I imagine I’ll be quite nervous by the time I’m at thirty-five weeks.’

  He draped his arm around her shoulders. ‘I promise you I’ll rub your feet.’

  ‘Will you shave my legs for me?’

  Sam smiled. ‘I’ll even paint your toenails.’

  ‘Ooh. Can’t wait, then!’

  They took in the story window, showing the construction of the Eiffel Tower, and read about how the old hydraulic lifts had worked.

  ‘Architects are amazing, when you think about it.’

  ‘You’re an architect, don’t forget. You’re building our baby. Think of all the work that goes into that!’

&
nbsp; ‘Hmm, no wonder I get tired.’ She ran her hand over her stomach. ‘Should we go up to the second floor?’

  Sam nodded, and back into the lift they got.

  On the second floor they viewed the panoramic maps and a small red scale model of the original top of the Eiffel Tower from 1889. There was even a champagne bar.

  ‘Hmm, not for me, though…’ Emily mused.

  ‘No. Got to look after the little one.’

  She smiled at him and reached out to hold his hand. This was nice. Being able to talk about the baby easily to each other. Before it had always seemed a taboo subject. One that she shouldn’t raise, knowing Sam’s objections. But it was different now. And she could see them getting close to that ideal family picture she had of an excited couple preparing to welcome their new baby into the world. It was thrilling.

  They got into the glass lift and ascended to the top. It was spectacular up there, but the wind riffled through her hair so much Emily had to keep tucking it behind her ears.

  They were able to view Gustav Eiffel’s office, which had been restored to its original layout, with wax models of the man himself and Thomas Edison, but they quickly headed back out to admire Paris.

  It needed admiring. It was a truly magical place, and it had worked its magic on their relationship.

  Emily felt grateful to it—so much so that her eyes began to water and she thought she might cry. Surreptitiously she wiped her eyes and hoped Sam hadn’t noticed.

  Once they’d had a good look, and taken some more photographs, they decided to head back down to ground level. It felt a little sad to come back down to earth.

  Emily had learnt so much this trip. Not just about Sam, but also about herself, and she’d set herself some new vows—never to let anyone push her away. And if they did to find out why. To see if there was something she could do to put things right.

  People, relationships—they were important. Vital. What were any of them without those they loved? Alone. Lonely. Sad. That wasn’t a life for anyone, and life was much too short to lose most of it in secrets or regret.