No Matter What

by Michelle Betham

  Vince watched him walk away, all female eyes on him as he walked across the terrace, but it was more than obvious that Kenny Ross only had eyes for one girl. A girl he couldn’t have anymore. Unless something was going on that Vince wasn’t aware of.

  As Vince swung back round on his stool, something – or rather, someone - caught his eye and his stomach dipped as a cold feeling of uneasiness suddenly swept over him. This was someone he’d seen hanging around the hotel a lot since India and Kenny had become resident here and all of a sudden a thought crossed Vince’s mind that he hoped to God wasn’t true. But a conversation he’d had a few weeks ago couldn’t stop him from thinking any other way. To be sure he’d have to wait until India was back in Vegas but, if he was right, then it was going to stop. It was going to stop right now. Before somebody really got hurt.

  CHAPTER 41

  Being back in Vegas didn’t feel as bad as India thought it would feel. Leaving Michael had been tough, no doubt about that, but he was coming to visit her next weekend and that one thought was keeping her going. But a part of her was glad to be away from L.A. again.

  She’d spent the past few days obsessing about getting pregnant and now she was away from Michael, away from the situation, it gave her time to think about it, time to think about what it was she was doing. And while the sheer enormity of it all, and her reasons for doing it, were more than a little frightening, she still wanted it more than she could explain.

  She and Bobby had gone straight to the villa after arriving in Vegas on Friday evening, and despite getting a text from Kenny asking if she’d got there ok, she didn’t really want to see him straightaway. She’d told him she was fine, but she was tired. She’d have to face him in the morning and that would be soon enough. She was straight back to work first thing Saturday and her first scene was with Kenny so there’d be no avoiding him. But that evening she’d just wanted to relax, so she and Bobby had ordered dinner and then snuggled up together on India’s huge bed and watched TV with a bottle of wine and a packet of Oreo’s, something India was addicted to. The only other person she’d talked to that night had been Michael, who she’d spent over an hour speaking to on the ‘phone until she was so tired she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer.

  It was an early call on Saturday morning and India had been glad that Bobby was around to wake her up because she could have stayed in bed all day if it was up to her.

  She’d just got out of the shower when he came back into the bedroom with a cup of coffee.

  “Bobby! I’m practically naked here!”

  “Angel, you might be totally stunning - and I don’t deny that you are - but you do absolutely nothing for me. Kenny’s downstairs. Here’s your coffee.”

  “Kenny’s downstairs?” She quickly towel-dried her hair and pulled on combats and a white t-shirt, looking around for her baseball boots. “And lose the coffee, Bobby. You won’t win that one.”

  “Worth a try,” Bobby sighed, handing India the boots she was looking for. “There’s a pot of nice English tea for you down in the kitchen.”

  “Thank you.” She sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled her boots on. “What’s Kenny doing here anyway?”

  “Said he thought he’d just pop over for some breakfast. He’s looking totally gorgeous this morning, by the way. So sexy ...”

  India looked at her P.A. as he drifted off into some Kenny Ross themed fantasy. “Bobby? Hello?”

  “Oh, sorry, angel. I can’t help myself sometimes. He’s wearing this t-shirt that’s so tight!”

  “Go to work, Bobby,” India laughed, kissing him quickly. “I’ll deal with Kenny.”

  Bobby mock-sighed and turned on his heels. “Oh, you get all the fun, it’s so not fair.”

  India quickly applied a coat of mascara and some lip gloss, running her fingers through her damp hair before she went downstairs.

  She found Kenny sitting at the breakfast bar looking through the script she’d left lying there overnight, and Bobby had been absolutely right, he did look incredibly handsome in a tight white t-shirt, scruffy jeans and biker boots, his dark hair all messed up, his face carrying slight stubble.

  He looked up and smiled at her. She ignored the somersault her stomach did.

  “You ok?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. You?”

  “Quit with the small talk, India, and come here, will you.”

  She looked at him, not really wanting to get any closer, but on the other hand she wanted everything to be as normal as possible. Or as normal as it could be under these confusing circumstances. So she walked over to him and quickly kissed his cheek.

  “What are you doing here, Kenny?” She was asking him that question a lot these days. She’d never used to.

  “No harm in coming to have breakfast with my best friend, is there?”

  She didn’t reply but no, there wasn’t. If that was all this was.

  “Michael alright?” Kenny asked, going back to flicking through the script.

  “He’s fine.” She poured herself a mug of tea and turned round, leaning back against the counter, looking at Kenny. “He’s quite excited, actually.”

  “Oh yeah?” Kenny asked. “What about?”

  India took a sip of tea, still looking at Kenny. “About the fact we’ve finally decided to start trying for a baby.”

  Kenny looked up sharply. “What?”

  “We’re trying for a baby.”

  He pushed the script aside, still staring at India. What the fuck was going on here? What the hell was she talking about?

  “You don’t want a baby, India, you told me, you told Michael, Jesus, you told everyone! For fucks’ sake, you were only arguing about it a couple of weeks ago and now you stand there and tell me you’ve decided you want to be a mom? Why? I’m not getting this.”

  “I’m in love with my husband.”

  “Oh, whatever, India.” He stood up and walked over to her. “This isn’t sitting right with me. I tell you I’m in love with you, I tell you all of that, that whole situation in Malibu happened and then all of a sudden, all of a fucking sudden you decide you want a baby? So, I’ll ask you again, India. Why?”

  She looked at him, right at him, and she suddenly felt stronger than she had done in a long time. At least, she thought she did.

  “Because it’s time, Kenny. It’s time Michael and I really settled down and made that final commitment. We need this baby.”

  “Bullshit!” Kenny pushed a hand through his dark hair and turned around for a second before looking back at her. “You’re kidding yourself. You’re kidding Michael; you have no idea what you’re doing. Jesus, I don’t believe this. You can’t go through with this, India.”

  “Too late.”

  “What do you mean, too late?”

  “We’ve already started trying. I could already be pregnant.”

  Kenny stared at her. “You’re serious, aren’t you? You’re fucking serious.”

  “Of course I’m serious.”

  “Are you crazy?”

  “I need this baby, Kenny.”

  “To make you forget about me? Is that why you’re doing this?”

  She just looked at him and he gave a cynical laugh.

  “You’re out of your fucking mind, India. Do you really think having a baby is going to end all of this? Do you?”

  “Yes, I do, it has to, Kenny. It has to because I don’t want to lose Michael. I can’t lose Michael.”

  “Then you’re even crazier than I thought you were. Don’t you remember the last time? Don’t you remember Newcastle? You were pregnant then, India, you were having his baby then and it didn’t stop you wanting me, it didn’t stop you fucking me ...”

  She slapped him hard, upset and angry with not just him but herself. Everything he was saying was true and she knew that, she knew it only too well.

  He put his hand to his face and looked at her, but her face was expressionless.

  “Do you really want him, India? Do you really love Michael
enough to go through with having his baby?”

  She felt tears pricking the back of her eyes, blinking them back as she turned away for a second.

  “India?”

  She turned back to face him, nodding. “Yes. I do.”

  “More than me? Do you love him more than me?”

  She nodded again, not even thinking about it because, if she did, she couldn’t be sure of what she’d say. “I love him like crazy, Kenny. And if having his baby is the only way I can make sure we stay together then I’ll do it. I’ll do anything it takes.”

  Kenny shook his head, knowing this was wrong, this was stupid, she wasn’t thinking straight. Once again Michael Walsh had got to her and he certainly didn’t seem to be loosening that hold. Kenny could try but he was losing this one fast.

  “You don’t know what you’re getting into here, India.”

  “I know I love my husband. And I know he loves me.”

  “And that’s good enough, is it?”

  She looked at him again, weakening with every second that passed and she couldn’t answer him. The words wouldn’t come.

  “Is that good enough, India?”

  “Don’t do this to me, Kenny. Please. Not again.”

  “I’m not doing anything, baby.” He moved closer, reaching out to stroke her cheek and she couldn’t move. It was like she was rooted to the spot and no matter how much she wanted to she just couldn’t move.

  “Kenny ...”

  “I love you, India. I love you and I’ll never go away. Never. I love you, and nothing you do will ever change that.”

  She shook her head, confused as hell but unable to move, unable to stop looking at him, unable to stop him moving closer to her, their mouths almost touching, and she knew she should push him away, she should stop this but she couldn’t. She couldn’t stop him from pulling her close, his body warm and oh so familiar as his mouth lowered down onto hers in a slow and deep and beautiful kiss that was making her cry but she couldn’t stop it. She didn’t want to, and that realisation scared her to death because this wasn’t right. Or was it? Was this right and what she was doing with Michael wrong?

  “No, Kenny, stop! Please.”

  She finally found the strength to pull away from him, turning away and wiping the tears from her eyes.

  “Tell me you didn’t feel anything, India. Go on, tell me.”

  She didn’t say anything, keeping her back to him.

  “Tell me, India!” His voice was louder now. “Look at me and tell me you felt nothing there. Be brave enough to do that because you can’t. Can you?”

  She finally turned around and looked at him. “I’m going to have Michael’s baby, Kenny, and you can’t stop me.”

  “Why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you denying what you feel for me? Why are you doing that? We were always meant to be together, from the very first day we met I knew that, I felt that and so did you and that’s never changed.”

  “I need him, Kenny.” She was trying to stop the tears from falling again, trying to stop the confusion building up in her head but, at the same time, she knew it was too late for that.

  “And I need you,” he said quietly.

  “I’m going to have his baby. He’ll be here at the weekend and we’re going to continue trying and it’ll happen. It’ll happen, Kenny.”

  He shook his head again. “Don’t do it, India. I’m begging you, please, don’t do it.”

  Kenny wanted, needed, to stop her from doing this. He wanted her to sit down and think hard about what it was she was getting into but what could he do? She was as stubborn as hell and there was no getting through to her.

  “I have to,” she whispered.

  Kenny had no choice but to admit defeat. He’d tried everything. What else could he do? “Then ... just don’t shut me out. Please. Don’t shut me out.”

  “I was never going to, Kenny. I just need you to stand by me and accept what’s happening.”

  He’d never do that. He’d never accept that what was happening here was right, that it was anywhere near the sensible thing to be doing but he couldn’t ever turn his back on her. There were no guarantees she was pregnant yet, there might still be hope that she could start thinking straight. One day she’d see sense and he needed to make sure he was there when she did.

  “You know I could never walk away from you, India. Never.”

  No matter what happened, no matter what mess they were in, neither of them could stay away from the other. And both of them were blind to the fact that that was where the entire problem lay.

  ***

  Charley knew India was back in Vegas, she’d seen the fuss that had surrounded her arrival back at The Maine Resort, she’d seen the paparazzi spring back into action and the media frenzy start up all over again. Most of it was because she was making her first movie with Kenny Ross – her very high profile ex-husband – in over a decade and people were desperate to see if they still had that on-screen chemistry that had been so obvious during that first movie they’d starred in. Everyone knew they’d remained close friends, everyone knew their history, and neither Kenny nor India were exactly making it difficult for anyone to get a picture of them together while they were here. They were always hanging out together when they weren’t filming, either in the hotel or out and about in Vegas. They were a paparazzo’s dream at times.

  But what people were really interested in, what the movie world really wanted to know and was waiting to see, was how everything they’d been through over the years translated onto the screen. And that included Charley. She’d always been somewhat fascinated at how they’d stayed so close, even a little jealous of their obviously very special relationship, a relationship that made them instantly at ease with each other, and it was so evident now as she stood on the sidelines, watching them together on the set of this much anticipated movie.

  She probably shouldn’t have been there. It probably wasn’t fair to India to have her hanging around but she was trying to keep out of sight. She just wanted to see what was going on, yet part of her secretly wanted India to see her, she wanted her to know that she was here and she wanted to talk.

  “Charley? Come on, honey, you shouldn’t be here,” Vince said, taking her hand and leading her away from the set.

  Charley followed, although slightly reluctantly. Apart from the fact her friend was there, a friend she wanted to see so badly, she was enjoying the whole atmosphere of being around real movies being made. It was so unlike the films she’d been used to making. This was Hollywood. This was the real deal.

  “She’ll come to you in her own time,” Vince smiled at Charley, sensing she’d have been quite happy to stay there all day but he didn’t want to risk India seeing her before she was ready. That wouldn’t help Charley at all.

  “Vince ... when you spoke to Kenny, did he say she’d definitely speak to me?”

  “It’s her first day back filming, sweetheart, you’ve got to let her get back to her routine first.” He stroked her cheek and kissed her quickly. “Don’t get your hopes up that you’re gonna be best friends from the word go though will you, Charley? I don’t want you to be disappointed.”

  “I just want to speak to her, Vince. Anything else is a bonus.”

  He smiled and squeezed her waist. “Ok, look, if you promise to stay well back you might as well hang out here. I’ve got to get to a meeting but I’ll see you on the terrace for lunch?”

  She nodded and smiled. “I’d like that, yeah.”

  She watched him leave, smiling, because she loved her life right now. Vince Maine was just perfect. He’d come into her life and made it worth all the pain she’d gone through before, because if that hadn’t have happened, she wouldn’t be here now.

  She was so busy watching him walk away that she didn’t see someone come up beside her, and when she turned round she let out a little shriek.

  “Oh my God! India!”

  India smiled, an action which instantly put Charley at ease. So different to th
e last time they’d met. “I noticed you watching from the sidelines. Listen, I’ve got a bit of time before I’m needed again so ... come on, let’s go to my trailer. I’ll get us some coffee.”

  Charley’s stomach was in knots as she followed India to her large on set trailer, sitting down on one of the sofa’s as India switched the coffee machine on.

  Charley had never been in a real movie set trailer before, and judging by the size of this one India was most definitely up there on the A-list. At one end there was a large living area with a full kitchen, the size of which was bigger than the entire ground floor of the apartment she and Casey had shared when they’d first moved to Vegas. She could see the door to one room left open and inside it looked like it was set up as a salon with huge mirrors, make-up and hairdressing equipment lying around and a massage table in the centre. There were more closed doors leading off the living area that Charley could only assume were a bedroom and bathroom. It was huge!

  “You could live in it, couldn’t you?” India smiled, handing Charley a mug of coffee and sitting down opposite her.

  Charley just nodded, still somewhat surprised that she was here, and slightly apprehensive of what was going to happen next.

  India looked at her friend, noticing her obvious nerves, her hands shaking slightly as she held her coffee. “Charley, it’s just me. I’m no different to the person I was all those years ago, really, I’m not. All of this, none of it changes who I am.”

  “Doesn’t it?”

  India shook her head. “Not really. No.”

  Charley looked at her, taking a deep breath as she put her coffee down on the table next to her, not trusting herself not to spill it.

  “I’m sorry, India. I am so, so sorry. For everything that happened, for Terry ...”

  “We both loved him, Charley. He was willing to do anything for you because that’s the kind of person he was but, it’s over. It happened, and I miss him every day of my life but it’s over, and we’ve all had to move on. I want us to put it all behind us now, everything that happened … let’s just move forward, ok? Me and you, let’s just move forward.” India looked down for a second. “And I’m sorry too. I should never have said what I did, I should never have blamed you, that wasn’t fair. I’ve done a lot of thinking lately, and ...” She looked up at Charley’s expectant face, “… can we start again? Are you up for that?”