No Matter What

by Michelle Betham

  She kissed his cheek and hugged his neck as the door intercom buzzed. Letting go of him, she ran over to see who it was.

  “India, honey, it’s Vince. Can I come up?”

  “Sure you can, Vince.”

  He was no sooner out of the private elevator that led up to the suite than India was hugging him. She didn’t see Vince and Charley half as much as she wanted to and she missed them, but she also knew that it could be quite difficult for Vince because he was still very close to Michael. He loved them both, and that didn’t always make life easy.

  “Is Charley alright?” India asked, finally letting go.

  Vince smiled. “She’s fine. Still no sign of mini-Maine but everything’s ok. We’ve just got to sit tight and wait. Anyway, how are you? Is everything ok here?”

  “I’m doing fine, and everything here is perfect, Vince, thank you. This place is incredible!”

  He laughed, walking around the suite, checking everything was as it should be. “It took a lot of hard work but we got there eventually. Hey, Bobby, you alright?”

  Bobby mock-sighed. “She’s got me working like a trooper again, Vince, but you know India.”

  Vince laughed again and India playfully punched Bobby as she walked past.

  “Look, India I … can I … can I have a word?” Vince asked.

  She looked at him. “Is everything ok?” Because it didn’t sound as though it was.

  “Yeah, yeah it’s fine. I just need to talk to you for a second.”

  “Ok.” Something was wrong, India could sense his mood change and she looked at Bobby. “Can you go see if JJ’s here yet, Bobby? Please?”

  “Of course I can, angel. I’ll be only too happy to look after him for you.”

  She waited until he’d left in the elevator before looking at Vince again. And suddenly she knew exactly what he was going to say. It was obvious. She should have known.

  “Michael’s here, isn’t he?”

  Vince nodded. “I thought you should know. I’ve given him one of the villas; I didn’t think it would be fair on you to have him in one of the suites here in the hotel.”

  India tried not to let this news bother her, but it did. It bothered her more than she cared to admit. He was here, her ex-husband was here and that was filling her with a barrage of emotions she couldn’t get her head around. Michael was here. She furiously blinked back tears that were threatening, quickly trying to compose herself.

  “Are you ok?” Vince asked.

  India sat down. She had to. Her legs suddenly felt as though they were going to give way underneath her.

  “I don’t know,” she replied. And she didn’t know. She really didn’t know what she was feeling.

  Vince sat down next to her. “All these years, India, and you’ve never even spoken to him, never talked to him. For the sake of Ethan couldn’t you ...?”

  She looked up at him, shaking her head. “It isn’t going to happen, Vince, so don’t even try. I’m assuming he’s asked you to talk to me?”

  Vince nodded, taking her hand and squeezing it. “He still loves you so much, India. He wants you to know that.”

  Those words cut through her like a knife. He still loved her. And she’d never stopped loving him, even after everything he’d done to her.

  She got up, going over to the drinks cabinet, pouring herself a small whisky. She needed it. “Then tell him he should have thought about that before ... I just … I can’t see him, Vince. I can’t so ... please, no trying to set anything up because I just can’t. Ok?”

  He stood up, looking at her. “He says he hurt you. He says he hurt you really badly, India, but ...”

  She looked at him again, straight at him. “There are no buts, Vince. He knows why I won’t see him and if he can’t understand that by now then that isn’t my problem. I’ve moved on. I’ve got Joe now.”

  Vince pushed a hand through his hair. “Are you happy? With JJ I mean?”

  India nodded. “He’s so far away from what Michael is ... was ...”

  “And that’s a good thing?”

  “It is for me.” It had to be.

  Vince walked over to her, pulling her into his arms, holding her tight.

  “Jesus, India,” he sighed heavily. “This is so hard for me because I love the pair of you, I really do. I just wish you could put whatever it was that happened behind you and talk to each other because he misses that.” He looked at her. “He misses you.”

  Oh, Jesus, what was happening here? She’d thought she was over this – over him. But she’d never be over him. Not really.

  “Like I said, Vince, he should have thought about that before.”

  He gave her one last hug. “I’ll leave you alone now, sweetheart. Let you settle in.”

  “Vince ... tell Charley I’ll call her later, ok?”

  He smiled. “Yeah. I’ll tell her. Look, are you …?”

  She smiled back, even though she didn’t much feel like smiling now. “I’m fine.”

  She watched him leave then sat down at the table, putting her head in her hands. Michael was here and all of a sudden she didn’t want to be. She didn’t want to be anywhere that he was. She couldn’t be. But what could she do? She was here for Charley and she’d have to at least wait until the baby was born before she even thought about leaving. But the first chance she got she’d be out of there. Putting the distance between her and Michael that she so desperately needed.

  ***

  Michael knew that what he was doing wasn’t a good idea, but it was something he needed to do. If it meant he could get just one glance, one tiny glimpse at his ex-wife then it would all be worth it. He shouldn’t have come to Vegas, he knew that, but he’d known she’d be there, she’d definitely be there and he just wanted to see her. Even if she didn’t want to see him.

  He sat at the casino bar and ordered another bourbon, even though he didn’t really feel like drinking it. Vince had told him India didn’t want to talk to him, and in the back of his mind he’d known it was a pointless thing to ask Vince to try and do, but he was at the point now where anything was worth a shot. In almost four years Michael had never seen his ex-wife in the flesh, he’d never seen her in person, even from afar. They’d never bumped into each other at award ceremonies or charity functions and he knew that was because she looked at guest lists and if he was on them then she wouldn’t attend. That’s how much she’d meant it when she’d said she hadn’t wanted to see him anymore. So he’d had to make do with looking at her on TV or in magazines or watching her movies, and every time he did that it hurt a little bit more, because all of it was his own doing. There was nobody to blame but himself. All of those years he’d wanted her, waited for her, took his opportunity and finally won her over and in just a few seconds, a few painful, horrifying seconds he’d lost her. Almost four years and he’d never gotten over it. He probably never would.

  He took a long drink of bourbon and looked around the casino. There were people everywhere, the noise of the slot machines and the constant hum of voices filled his head. She was upstairs, in the Penthouse Suite, he knew that, and whilst every inch of him just wanted to go on up there and face her, he knew he never would. He respected her too much, and anyway, she had her new boyfriend with her. JJ Foster. Bigger competition than Kenny Ross had ever been.

  He took another drink. He wished Ethan was here. Their little boy was the only thing that kept him going sometimes, but he was back in L.A. with Reece.

  “All on your own, Michael?”

  He turned to look at the voice behind him, watching as she sat herself down beside him at the bar.

  “Yeah, I’m all on my own,” Michael replied. “What are you doing here?”

  Layla smiled as she ordered a glass of champagne from the over-attentive barman. “Well, call it coincidence, Michael, but I’m actually working here this weekend. I’ve got a photo shoot.”

  “Tasteful as usual I expect,” Michael said, a touch sarcastically.

  “Now now, Mic
hael. Let’s not forget your ex-wife took it all off for magazines too, once upon a time.”

  He looked at Layla, still all bleached blonde hair and wide eyes but he was pleasantly surprised to see that the heavy make-up had been toned down somewhat and she was wearing a casual outfit of jeans and a t-shirt rather than a skirt up to her waist and the usual low-cut tops she’d seemed to favour before.

  “Don’t talk about India, Layla. Just, don’t.”

  She took a sip of her champagne. “Still missing her are you?”

  He finished his drink and stood up to leave. “I don’t want to talk about it. Least of all with you.”

  “I just thought you might like a little bit of company.” She took another sip of her drink, her eyes never leaving him. “Seeing as India’s enjoying herself with her younger man, and why should she have all the fun? Because, let me tell you, Michael, I’ve had JJ Foster, and he is one hell of a lot of fun. If you get what I mean.”

  She smiled a knowing smile and he felt his stomach turn over. He’d got what she meant alright, and just the thought of India with another man, just the thought of someone else making love to her, waking up beside her, it never ceased to hit him right where it hurt, like someone grabbing his heart with freezing cold fingers and squeezing it tight like a vice, so acute was the physical pain it caused him.

  “Why should she have it all, Michael? When you could have some fun too. What harm would it do?”

  He looked at her. She seemed different in some ways, softer, less false now she’d stripped back some of that make-up that she’d never really needed in the first place. She’d hit thirty now and maybe she’d just realised how pretty she really was beneath that mask she’d used to wear.

  He found himself standing there, thinking maybe she was right. He was lonely. He had been for a long time now. What harm could dinner do?

  She was still looking at him and he felt himself weakening by the second. India had JJ. For now. He might as well at least try and enjoy himself while he was here instead of brooding about what he couldn’t have. Yet. Because that fight was far from over. Infact, it was only just beginning. India would come round, in time, he was sure of that. She’d come round and see that what they’d had was worth fighting for but that wasn’t going to be this weekend. The situation wasn’t right, the time for that to happen wasn’t now but he was working on it. He had a plan and he was working on it, and sometime in the future there would come a time when India had no choice left but to face him again. She’d have no choice left at all.

  ***

  JJ wanted to be alone with India. Really alone. Being in Vegas with her was all very well but here they were surrounded by her friends and more people than JJ cared to have around them right now. They’d never really had any time to themselves since they’d got together. Everything had been so crazy. She never stopped working for starters. If it wasn’t movies it was photo shoots or promotional work and when he did get to see her she was almost always tired and it was a case of have sex and fall asleep. He wanted more than that. But he sensed a slight reluctance from her, as if she’d put up some kind of barrier, some kind of wall that was stopping him from getting to her completely.

  Maybe it was to do with her ex-husband. He knew, just like the rest of the world, that she and Michael Walsh had had an extremely close relationship and for it all to end so suddenly the way it had must have been hard for her. But they’d been together almost six months now, and as far as JJ was concerned he knew exactly how he felt about her. He just needed to know how she felt about him, and if he had to try and get that out of her whilst they were here in Las Vegas then that’s what he’d do, because he wasn’t willing to wait any longer.

  India was upstairs in the Penthouse Suite and he knew she was alone because he’d just seen Bobby, and now JJ wanted to get to her even faster. She was always so busy, always on the go, she was very rarely alone and any time he could grab with her would be worth it.

  “Off to see the older woman, are we?”

  JJ stopped and turned around at the sound of Layla’s voice. “What the hell are you doing here? And she’s six years older, Layla. That’s all.”

  “Still makes her older.”

  “Are you here for a reason or are you just stalking some other poor bastard now?”

  “I’ve got a photo shoot this weekend so I’m here working.”

  “Legs open, tits out as usual, huh?”

  “Oh, you have such a high opinion of me, JJ, but no. Clothes on, actually, and you might be interested to hear that I’m so over you anyway. Infact, I’ve got myself a new man.”

  JJ looked at her, narrowing his eyes. “Why would I be interested in that, Layla?”

  She smiled at him. “Because it’s Michael Walsh.”

  JJ stared at her. “You’re seeing Michael Walsh?”

  “Well, not quite ‘seeing’ as such, not yet. But he’s just asked me out to dinner so it’s only a matter of time.”

  “He’s here? In Vegas?”

  She nodded, twirling her long hair round her forefinger.

  JJ narrowed his eyes again. “What game are you playing, Layla?”

  She looked at him with wide, innocent eyes. “Game? I’m not playing any games, JJ.”

  “Whatever. I’m not interested in what you’re doing or who you’re seeing, ok? I’m not interested in the slightest,” he said, turning to go.

  “Ok. You might not be interested, but I’m sure your girlfriend will be.”

  He turned back around and stared at her. “You want me to tell her, is that it? You want me to tell India that you’re seeing her ex-husband?”

  Layla just shrugged.

  “Because I’m not going to. She doesn’t care what he does anymore ...”

  “You know that for sure, do you?”

  JJ wasn’t going to get rattled by her, no way. He could see what she was doing and it wasn’t working on him.

  “She doesn’t care what he does, and she sure as hell doesn’t care what you do so you enjoy your night together. Both of you. Just as I intend to enjoy mine.”

  He walked away, leaving her standing there. No matter what Layla said she was playing a game, otherwise why announce her “date” with Michael Walsh? Everything she did was for a reason but right now he didn’t care. He didn’t care what Layla was up to; he cared about India and he cared about their future, because he wanted a future with her. He just needed to find out if she wanted that too.

  ***

  Why did Michael have to be here? Why did he have to be so close and make it so much harder for her to avoid him? He knew she’d be in Vegas this weekend, and yet he’d still come here.

  As she looked out of the window, at life going on around her in this amazing, vibrant town, she realised she was probably being slightly unfair. Michael was Vince’s best friend so of course he wanted to be around when he became a dad for the first time, just as she wanted to be there for Charley. It was just going to make things so much more complicated, that’s all. Still, on the plus side it meant she could hide away up here with JJ for longer. She had the perfect excuse now.

  Just the thought of JJ made her smile. He’d be here any second and just thinking about that made her stomach flip over. They hadn’t seen each other for a while due to his filming commitments on a new movie and her workload, so this was a kind of reunion for them. One she hoped would play out just the way she wanted it to.

  She wandered into the bedroom, wondering if she had time for a quick shower before he got there. Deciding that she did, she switched the shower on, quickly stripping off and stepping underneath the warm jets of water, letting them wash over her, closing her eyes as she tried to banish Michael from her thoughts and concentrate on JJ.

  Turning the water off she wrapped a huge fluffy white towel around her wet body and went over to the mirror, combing through her damp hair. She didn’t look bad for thirty-nine. She didn’t look bad at all. Even without make-up she still looked younger than she was, and she was sure sh
e had Reece’s fabulous genes to thank for that. He was now sixty-one years old but looked a good decade younger than that. Her wonderful father. She loved him more than she could ever explain to anybody, but especially to him. She just hoped that he knew how grateful she really was. For everything, because he’d given her so much more than this incredible life she now had. So much more.

  She walked back into the bedroom, rifling through her bag for her moisturising lotion, rubbing it gently into her arms.

  “Do you need some help with that?”

  She turned round and there he was. Her beautiful boyfriend, leaning against the door frame, arms folded, his eyes taking in every inch of her and she felt that warm and wonderful shiver course right through her body.

  “You must have known I was coming,” he smiled, walking over to her, not taking his eyes off her. She stood completely still, waiting until he was right beside her.

  “Well, I was hoping you would be. At some point.”

  He smiled again, putting a hand to her face and bringing his mouth down to touch hers gently, so gently it almost just brushed over her lips.

  “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” he whispered, pulling her closer.

  “Yeah ... I’ve kinda missed you too,” she said, just wanting to look at him and remember how beautiful he really was.

  “You have?”

  She smiled. “I have.”

  He lowered his mouth down onto hers again in a harder, longer kiss and she fell against him, clinging onto his shirt as he kissed her. She felt dizzy but so happy he was finally here. All thoughts of Michael and the fact he was right here in this hotel just faded away as the man she really cared about held her close. He could have her head spinning and her stomach flipping with just one touch, like he was doing now as his fingers stroked her damp, naked skin, and she wanted him to make love to her so much she physically ached for him. This time apart had been the longest separation they’d had since they’d become a couple and she hadn’t realised just how much she’d really missed him, until now.