by Leen Elle
I would also like to inform you that you can not proclaim yourself to be Mr. Tilney! I would have to be the judge of that, or if your sisters do read it, I would trust their appraisal. And despite the fact that Northanger Abbey is my favorite does not give you leave to speak ill of Mr. Darcy, I am still quite fond of him.
It's understandable that you think him boring, but he becomes so likeable. There is something incredibly romantic about the intensity of his affections. Any man would be quite capable of sweeping a girl off their feet with such a confession! I really think all men should read it, and I'm so impressed that you have! Don't get me wrong, I don't know many men, but I have never met one that has read Pride and Prejudice!
You have to share a favorite memory with me, it's only fair! Last week was our Sunday School Picnic. Viv came this year, all she wanted to do was lay in the sun! She wouldn't even do the three legged race with me! I'd imagine your family gatherings are much like our Sunday School Picnics. I can't wait to come, and I would love to cook you all something!
I hope you enjoy the pictures I've included. The children I watch wanted to do something for you. They know you are living far away from home and wanted to make sure you had something to make you smile. Dylan is amazed by you, I think you are officially his hero. When I first told them about you, his jaw dropped. Now, every time I see him, he asks how you are. Would you mind if he wrote you a letter and I included it with my next? I only ask because he will be expecting a letter back, and I'm not sure how much time you have to write back.
How are your friends? I haven't heard you mention them in a letter recently. I also haven't heard any news of your sisters! I hope they are all doing well. I like hearing about them all, somehow it makes me feel closer to you, makes me feel like we are really talking about real life. It makes me feel like I know you more than just by letters. Well you are in my thoughts, as always. I can't wait to hear from you, I like the smiles you bring.
Affectionately,
Lilli
September 24, 1943
Dear Lilli,
I might have to re-read Miss Austen's books to be sure of the declaration that will win your heart. Unfortunately, there aren't many copies of those novels here in camp, in fact, there aren't many books in camp at all. I miss reading, our hours can be so tedious here, when we're not involved in battle. It makes the hours of silence nearly unbearable, because all you can do is think about what your last moment might be. That's why I spend most of my free time reading your letters.
So, with that in mind, I would love to hear from Dylan! Anything extra to read would be appreciated. Besides, I'd love to write to someone who gets to spend time with you. He can be my little spy! Tell me things about you that you wouldn't tell me yourself maybe. Just include his letter in your next and be sure to write his address in there as well, so I can write back.
Wes is doing really well, I don't know what I would do without him. He is such a good friend and manages to make me laugh in the midst of all this gray. I don't know how fellows get along without their friends here. I suppose they make friends amongst the soldiers in their company. Wes is my link back home though. We can talk about my sisters and his brothers and it's almost as if we're home. And, he stands by my side while we're fighting, it's nice to know someone is watching out for me.
The pictures you sent were wonderful! The one from Bridget was especially great. I'm so glad she thought I needed a picture of a princess. The crown is my favorite part. I hope you'll let them draw for me again, it brought an unexpected smile. Can I just say that your involvement with the kids really impresses me. I've always seen a big family in my future. How do you feel about that? What do you envision for your future family?
My sisters seem to be doing well. Of course they miss me, or so they say, but other than that it sounds like they are doing extremely well. Sarah seems to think that something is going on with Katie. I'm curious to know what it is. She usually tells me everything without hesitation, which makes me think it has something to do with a guy. I know their lives can't stop with me being gone, but I do hope she doesn't get married without me. Is that too much to ask for? Of course if I don't ever come home, I hope she'll go on with her life, I know she will. But it will be hard for me to come home and find her married.
That is going to be the hardest part of coming home. Even though everyone has been writing letters, it's hard to detect change in connected letters and words. I will be extremely different when I come home, one does not witness death without being effected. But how does my change affect those I love? Will my relationships with my sisters be different? I can't help but worry about life after the war. Not all the time of course, but sometimes. Most times I manage to convince myself that everything will be perfect.
I hope you don't have such heavy things on your own mind. I also hope you are enjoying the beginning of fall! Everything is so beautiful here in France, the trees are the most brilliant colors, I wish we were walking through the cobblestone streets together, enjoying the charm of this country. I miss you Lilli Windsor!
Still Captivated
October 20, 1943
Dear Joe,
I am enjoying the fall! I think I would be enjoying it more with you here. Do you realize we met a year ago last week? The fall reminds me of you because of our walk through the park. I have really enjoyed getting to know you through letters. You probably know more about me because of the letters than you would if we just talked. Somehow, I am less shy with a pen than I am with my voice. But I don't have to tell you that, you remember our walk.
I hope when you get home I won't retreat into my shyness. I tend to not be shy around those people I know, and I feel as though I know you. But, seeing you, and talking to you again, might be different. Only time will tell I suppose. I feel like we are best friends, just like Viv. She used to be the only person I ever told things to, it's nice to be able to talk to you about those things too. I know you're worried about coming home, but you don't have to worry about me. I didn't really know you before the war, so you won't seem different to me at all. You are the person in your letters to me now, and that is who I will be expecting when you get home. I know that doesn't help with your worries about your family, but from what you've told me, I can't imagine your family not being supportive. They are just going to be happy to see you, and glad you're safe. All you can do is continue writing to them, so they know who to expect when you get home.
I can't imagine your sister Katie would get married without you! Surely she will confide in you if she truly has interest in a man. How many men could still be in your town with the war going on? I know here it seems like I only ever see older gentlemen and women. Do you have any idea at all who she might be interested in? Coming from such a small family, I've never had much to be curious about, so I hope you don't mind me prying.
I'm so glad you enjoyed the pictures, and I'll have you know that Bridget's picture was a picture of me, not a princess. She thought that you needed a picture of me. Not that there is anything wrong with you thinking of me as a princess, I think that was her idea.. I hope you enjoy Dylan's letter, he wouldn't let me help or read it, so I have no idea what is in there. I am sure that it will be entertaining.
As far as my future family goes, I could see myself with any family God sees fit to give me. I'd like to have more than one child, because I know how lonely my own childhood was. But, I am not opposed to any number of children, as long as we have the means to support them. Of course, my greatest concern is making sure I find the right husband. Any family will be wonderful if I am married to a man who compliments me, makes me a better woman, and loves me unconditionally.
I am happy to hear that Wes is doing well, but you didn't mention Sam. Is he alright? I hope you haven't lost one of your best friends in this war and not told me about it. I can't imagine how difficult something like that would be, especially because there is no time to stop and grieve. You are surrounded by the war. I hope you are doing as well as you can be, I
will do my best to try and send you a book. I think about you ever day! Stay safe.
Affectionately,
Lilli
Chapter 6
November 20, 1943
"Good morning Dad." Lilli smiled, her skirt sweeping past his chair in her quest for a morning cup of coffee.
"Morning Muffin," he grinned, looking up from the newspaper he was reading.
"Any news about the war?"
"Lilli, I would challenge you to find an article not relating to the war. Even the comics are about the war!" he laughed, shaking the paper loudly.
"Anything in particular you'd like to share about the war? A piece of news I might find intriguing?" she pried.
"All news about war is bad news my dear, until the news that finally tells us it's over. Nothing to worry your little head about, especially on such a beautiful Sunday morning. In fact, it's nothing for me to worry about on such a beautiful Sunday." He folded the paper sloppily and placed it on the table next to him. He smiled at Lilli then took a big bit of his scrambled egg sandwich.
Lilli enjoyed her own toast with strawberry jam, catching up with her father while she ate. It had been quite a long time since they had talked without Mother in the room, and conversations were always different without here there. But, as always, they were interrupted after ten minutes. "What are you both doing sitting here? We have to leave in exactly two minutes or we'll be late!"
"We are just finishing up darling, and we won't be late, we just might not be fifteen minutes early." he sighed, dabbing his mouth with a napkin. Her mother glared at him, her foot tapping in aggravation. "But we're ready to leave now, aren't we Lilli?"
"Yes Dad." Lilli smiled, managing not to laugh at his wink.
Lilli pulled on her belted trench coat and followed her parents out the front door. They loaded into the Chevy and her father started the engine. The ride to their small church was not a long one. Her mother rushed into the building, anxious to hear all the news from her friends. It amazed Lilli how much time the women spent gossiping on Sundays. Pastor Tom was constantly admonishing them about it, but that was one topic they never seemed to hear.
The morning sermon was about Job, God's servant. Lilli thought it a good sermon, and left thinking about the points Pastor Tom had raised. After they were dismissed, her mother introduced Lilli to three new single men she had discovered. They were all bland, ties pulled so tight around their necks, she swore their faces were tinted blue. She sighed relief when she entered her small classroom in the basement of the church, glad to be away from the elderly women that would see her married tomorrow if they had their way.
Lilli put down the juice and cookies she made for the class and set to arranging the room. She wrote the memory verse on the board and pulled all ten miniature chairs in a semi circle around her own larger chair. Then, she placed large pieces of paper on the table for their art project later. In a slow sweeping gaze she inspected the room and found it to be exactly right.
"Good morning Miss Windsor." A little girl in a periwinkle dress stood at the door smiling brightly.
"Good morning Becca! Don't you look beautiful, come in, there are cookies and juice on the snack table." The little girl grinned even brighter, hugging Lilli's leg before settling in a chair on the far side of the table. After Becca, the rest of her first graders came in quickly, a chorus of hellos from Daniel, Miriam, Kenny, Alexander, Timmy, Billy and Laura. They climbed into chairs around the table, each taking their time deciding which oatmeal cookie to choose. Lilli joined them, asking each to share a story from the previous week, they always proved to be entertaining.
After snack, they moved to the semi-circle of chairs and Lilli began her story. The children were learning about David, David and his mighty men. She was half way through the story when Alexander's hand shot straight up in the air.
"Yes?" Lilli asked, pausing her story.
"Did you know that one of David's sons, Absalom got his hair stuck in a tree and hung by it until he died?"
All of the students screamed, "Neat!" simultaneously, which made Lilli laugh before responding.
"I've never heard that story, I'll be sure to look it up when I get home. Now, how about we get back to David's mighty men?"
Lilli was ending the story, talking about God's protection and how he controls all things when another hand shot up in the air. "My dad says that God even controls the sun," Miriam said in awe.
"He does," Lilli smiled, "and the moon, the stars, the other planets..."
"And other planets' suns," Billy blurted.
"Billy, all the planets share the same sun." Lilli corrected, gently.
"Nuh uh Miss Lilli! My dad says all planets have their own sun."
"Maybe you misunderstood."
"I don't think so Miss Lilli. How old are you?"
"I'm 19 years old Billy." she answered, calmly.
"Yea, that's what I thought. See, my Dad's older than you, so I'm pretty sure he knows more than you. I'm going to go ahead and believe her when he says each planet has it's own moon."
"Moon?" Lilli asked, trying not to laugh. "Each planet does have it's own moon."
"Then why have you been arguing with me Miss Lilli?" Billy asked, running an exhausted hand through his bright red hair.
Afraid she might burst into laughter, Lilli just lifted her shoulders in a shrug and turned her attention away from Billy, back to the rest of the class. They all moved their chairs to the arts and craft table where they began to color their own piece of mighty man armor. All too soon, parents showed up at the classroom door to claim their children for the rest of the day. Lilli spoke with each parent, praising their child for their good behavior, or intelligence. After promising to see everyone next week, she set to cleaning up the classroom and went to find her parents.
"How was Sunday School?" Lilli asked, sliding into the backseat of the Chevy.
"It was wonderful, there was a new young man this week. His name is Robert Daniels, I invited him for dinner. Unfortunately he's busy tonight, I think the Keith's invited him tonight, but he won't be enamored by Cynthia, so nothing to worry about there. He'll be coming next Sunday, don't make any plans."
"Great..." Lilli sighed, rolling her eyes. Almost every week her mother invited another single man to their home, hoping for sparks. Lilli tried to tell her about Joe, but, she wanted to hear nothing about it. In her opinion, Joe couldn't be worthy of her daughter if he was only a private, and she couldn't believe anyone could fall in love through letters.
Lilli gazed out the car window, trying not to think about next weeks dinner. She let her mind focus on the few remaining colored leaves, clinging to the bare arms of the trees. Some tumbled along the side of the road, following their Chevy as if it was the Pied Piper singing a tune. Autumn always relaxed her, the crisp air seemed to cleanse everything for the sticky sweat of summer.
The gravel cracked as her father pulled into the driveway. Lilli shut the door lazily and entered the house. She was half way up the stairs when she heard her father calling her. He had found a letter for her in the stack of bells he was looking through. Lilli turned quickly, running back down the six stairs she had already climbed. All of her teeth shone when she flashed her father a smile, taking the letter. She could barely wait until she reached her room to rip open the letter, it was an unexpected Sunday treat.
November 6, 1943
Dear Lilli,
I am glad to be another person you can confide in. I love hearing about everything going on in your life. In fact, I'd love to hear more about your parents, Viv and the kids. Instead of feeling like I am in a war, living in a tent, far away from my family, I feel like I'm talking to my girl on the phone. Is it ok that I think of you as my girl? Maybe you don't feel quite the same as I do. You can tell me the truth, honestly.
It is a comfort to know that you will be expecting ex-soldier me to step off the boat, not pre-war me. I know my family will always support me, but I still don't want things to change. I liked m
y family just the way they were when I left, the way they always were.
Bridget has a great eye for very realistic drawings. And while I really loved her picture, I wonder if you might be able to send me an actual picture of yourself? I think that having your picture with me, might give me hope in this battle that seems never ending. While I am eager to see my family, I think I'm most anxious to see you. I hope that is not too bold, but it is with you Lilli Windsor, that I am beginning to imagine my future. Dylan advised me to marry you in his letter to me, and I believe him to be a very wise child.
I have no idea who Katie might find herself interested in now. I know that a great number of young men from our town joined up. She has never shown interest in anyone, to my knowledge. She always thought dating was silly unless she could see herself marrying a man. Of course, Sarah could be mistaken, maybe Kate is acting strange because she misses me. I wish I had more to tell you, but I have to go. I look forward to your next letter, and your picture.
Still Captivated
Chapter 7
December 1, 1943
"Letter for Joe, I figured it's from Lilli, so I grabbed it." Wes smiled, throwing the tattered envelope at Sam. "And one for you too."
Sam picked up the envelope and noticed immediately that it was heavier than usual. He ripped through the seal and breathed deep the smell of sweet coffee that fragranced the letter. Before pulling out the piece of paper, he felt around in the small expanse of the envelope. His fingers brushed across a sturdier piece of paper "Her picture," he thought with a smile. Suddenly his stomach was doing flips at the thought of seeing her for the first time. He had quite an image built up in his mind, and this would be his first glance at the face he might spend the rest of his life staring at.