"Oh, you know. The usual. ‘I love you too’ would have been nice to hear. Anything other than silence I guess." When I look in his direction, I find him pressing his lips together to keep from laughing. Just like last night when Angela was ripping into Tyler.
"You think this is funny?"
"Yes. I think it's hilarious that you fainted when I said I love you. No, I don't think it's funny that you were hurt in the process. But if I don't joke about it, then all I will do is feel bad and worry. So, comedy it is. Until you tell me you feel better."
"I feel fine."
"As you rub your forehead."
My hand stops moving, resting on the little bump just above my right eyebrow. It’s wide enough makeup won't be able to hide it but small enough that when I rub my hand across it, it barely feels like it's raised above the skin. I have yet to look at it in the mirror. I'm afraid there will be a rainbow of colors. Not the pretty colors either.
"Really," I try to say assuringly. "I'm fine. It just feels weird. My head barely hurts this morning, and my headache is gone."
"Afternoon," he corrects.
"Afternoon? How long did you let me sleep?"
"I've been watching you. You stirred a few times but went right back to sleep. It's a little after noon now. Are you hungry?"
Nodding, I flip back the covers and slide to the edge of the bed. Zane takes that as his opportunity to slide his arm under my legs and pick me up.
"What are you doing?"
"Carrying you."
"Why?"
"Why not? I didn't get to hold you as much as I wanted to yesterday. Think of this as my way to get caught up on the amount of time I want your body spent next to mine."
Ah, the sex thing.
He refused to have sex with me last night.
Even after I promised I was fine and begged for over an hour.
He didn't want to put my body through any more trauma. Yes, he said trauma. I tried to explain to him that sex has healing potential, but he just laughed at me and tucked me in tightly.
"We have all weekend. I think you would have survived without me for the thirty seconds it takes to walk to the kitchen."
"Well," he says as he sets me on the barstool. "Now we don't have to find out, do we?"
"Ha, ha."
"And about that," he says as he begins to pull ingredients from the fridge. "I'm not leaving on Sunday. Unless you kick me out, that is."
"Okay. When is your flight?"
Zane closes the door but doesn't turn around and doesn't answer my question.
"Zane. What's going on?"
Silence. Does he expect me to figure it out? If so, can I get another clue? I mean, I hit my head, but I didn't hit it that hard.
"I'm not going to kick you out," I finally say.
"Good." Turning to face me, he quickly wipes the worried expression off his face as he comes around the counter and takes my hands in his.
When he gets down on one knee, I scream.
Literally, at the top of my lungs.
"No! Don't do this! Get up!"
He doesn't move.
"Get! Up!" I persist, but he just stares at me.
"I won't say yes," I threaten.
"I'm not asking you anything," he retorts.
"Then why the hell are you on your knee, and why does it look like you're about to propose to me? You just said you loved me last night. This is a little fast, don't you think?"
My hands are shaking as he rubs his thumbs over my knuckles.
"I'm down here because I want you to remember what this looks like. Until the day comes when I'm back down here, I want you to think about this moment. Because, right now, I'm down here to promise you everything.
"To love you for as long as you'll let me. To take care of you the best I can. To be here when you need and when you don't. I promise to give you everything I have, every part of me, because I love you, Ally. People may call me crazy for falling in love with you so fast, but I think you said it best the other night. We were meant to meet. Fate brought us together. You're the love of my life, and if you'll have me, I'd like to be the second man you let love you, and the last."
Holy. Shit.
That was better than a proposal.
"I love you too."
Chapter Fifteen
Zane's visits never seem to last long enough. One minute he's arriving in style, and then the next I'm pouting because he's packing to go home. This long-distance relationship crap sucks. I'm not sure how other people make it work.
I understand that all relationships are hard. They require effort from both parties, but at the end of the day, when you crawl into bed next to the other person and wrap your arms around each other, it makes all the hard work worth it.
We don't get that every night.
We've even joked that we're weekend lovers.
At first it was funny, but now it makes me sad. I don't want this to be just a weekend kind of thing. I want him every day. All day. All night. And for him to be there the next morning when I wake up.
Even though I know it's not possible right now.
He has a business to run. A life in Miami. That’s why I insisted he go home today. Or, as he put it, I kicked him out.
As much as I want him here all day, every day, I can't ask him to uproot his world just to be with me. Especially since I'm not willing to pick up my life and move down there for him.
He promises we'll work it out, but it's going to take some time.
I shouldn't be this attached after only a few weeks, but I am. I can't help myself. Knowing he loves me as much as I love him makes me wish we never had to leave my apartment. And not just because I like watching him walk around naked.
"I'll call you when I land," he says as he pulls me in for one last hug.
This is my least favorite part of Sundays. I used to send him to the airport in a cab to avoid it, but today I couldn't do it. I had to see him off myself. It allowed me one more hour with him.
"I know. You always do," I mutter against his chest.
"I love you, Allison Kay. I'll be back before you know it. Promise."
"You're just full of promises this weekend," I tease although it's true.
He's promised a great many things this weekend. My favorite: to love me for as long as I let him. A promise I plan to hold him to.
Zane may be a smartass. He might joke around a lot and play the funny guy, but deep down, he's the most caring person I've ever met. He treats me with the respect I deserve and loves me the only way he knows how. With all his heart.
"I'll keep making you promises too. And every single one of them, I'll keep. You're never getting rid of me." And just like that, his serious side disappears and he's back to cracking one-liners to make me smile.
"Yeah, yeah. Go before I break down. You don't want to see that. It won't be pretty, especially since I put mascara on this morning."
I wouldn't have, but Megan demanded we have brunch with her and Vinnie. Not really the way I wanted to spend my Sunday afternoon, but I wasn't the one who answered my phone. Zane did while I was taking a shower. The shower he was supposed to join me in but instead spent on the phone making plans with my best friend.
Traitor.
He knew what I wanted to do today. He knew I didn't plan to leave the house until we left for the airport. He owes me for not calling and canceling on them. I wanted to, but he persuaded me otherwise. The cheater pressed his naked body against mine and kissed a trail down my body until I was quivering. Then he hopped in the shower, leaving me a hot mess.
I got revenge, though.
Nothing says I love you like a pot of ice cold water dumped on you while you're in the shower.
He screamed like a girl too. It caught me off guard, I dropped the pot dangerously close to my toes and ran out of the room.
"You're beautiful, even when you cry, or pass out. But you're especially beautiful when your eye roll back in your head, your bottom lips drops open ever so slightly, and you
scream my name," he whispers in my ear, the low rumble of his voice turning me on in the middle of the airport.
"I hate you," I growl.
"I love you too. Gotta go." Pressing a kiss to my lips, Zane leaves me, knees still shaking from the mental image he painted, and slides in the security line.
"Damn it. He's such an ass, but I love him," I mumble to myself as I head to my car after watching him until he was through security and blew me a kiss.
Three days. That's all it took.
It was bound to happen.
With all the excitement in my life outside the office, I hadn't been paying attention to the whispers in the halls.
Why would I?
I didn't start any rumors.
So when I walk into the breakroom to meet Justine and Emerson for lunch, also known as a wedding planning session, I shouldn't have been surprised when everyone stops talking the moment I walked in.
Ignoring the obvious, I take a seat next to Justine. She immediately turns her attention back to showing her ring off to Macie and Kimmie. Emerson scoots her chair closer to mine and shoves a folder in front of me.
No one mentions the obvious.
Neither of them acknowledges the irritation in my voice as we go over wedding details and then an upcoming Dixon event.
It's like they didn't even notice the shift in the atmosphere when I walked in.
Was it my imagination?
Am I becoming paranoid now that my relationship is public?
No, that can't be it. I wrote the rules on gossip around here. There's only two, but you stick to them or you get caught.
Rule number one: Be aware of your surroundings.
You need to make sure the person you're gossiping about isn't around. Never keep your back to an entrance so they can't sneak up on you. Proceed with caution.
Rule number two: Cease gossip if they walk in the room.
Always have a backup plan. Know what you're going to talk about if the person of interest shows up. They'll be suspicious but as long as you act casual, they'll never know what was said before you walked in the room.
Simple rules.
The only problem is, if you wrote them, you know all the signs of people talking about you. Everyone around here follows those rules.
So, when Kimmie and Macie excuse themselves and head back to work, I call Justine and Emerson out on their gossiping ways.
"What are they saying about me?"
"What?" they ask in unison, Justine looking petrified.
"I'm not an idiot. I know how the rumor mill works around here. I created it, remem..."
I let my voice trail off when the realization hits me.
Well, shit.
I just outed myself. I wasn't planning on doing that. They were never supposed to find out.
"You?" Justine asks. She no longer looks scared. Instead, her face slowly morphs from confused to hurt to angry.
"Are you kidding me? You've been behind the rumors all this time?"
Emerson skips every step and goes straight to angry.
"Yes, but it's not what you think. There was a good reason, I swear. You have to let me explain," I beg as the two of them stand up, their eyes filled with hatred still aimed in my direction.
"I don't have to listen to anything. Devon left me because of you. I can't believe you'd do that to me!"
Justine storms out of the break room, leaving Emerson to glare at me while I shift in my seat uncomfortably.
"You know, I always knew it was you somehow. The last few weeks, I didn't want to believe it anymore. I wanted to be wrong. You're a different person than you used to be. A better person. Zane has a lot to do with that. He makes you happy. I guess when you're happy, everyone else can be too. There's no need to spread pathetic rumors about people just to see if their relationships can handle the drama.
"What I don't understand is why you'd do that to your friends. I mean, I can understand why you'd say something about me. You didn't know me back then. But you were friends with Megan, and those rumors hurt her too. And Justine, hell, that rumor almost killed her. Don't even get me started on everyone else, on all the other rumors.
"You have a lot of apologies to make. I can't say that everyone is going to forgive and forget. I know I'm not ready to yet. But, if you want to salvage any of the friendships you have, you need to come clean and start making amends now. Before everyone hears it through the rumor mill. You know how twisted things can get."
As nice as Emerson sounded when she spoke, her words made it perfectly clear where she stands right now. She's revoked my friendship card. I'm going to have to earn it back. Not only with her, but with each of my friends that I've wronged over the years.
In order to do that, I'm going to have to come clean. I'll have to confess everything, starting with why. Which means I need to tell them about Kevin, about my past and why I came here in the first place.
This is my one and only chance to set the record straight. Either they're going to accept my apology or I'm out. Because with this family, either you're in or you're not. Right now, I'm lingering, and that won't last long, not once my secret is out.
I'm starting to see why Tyler hates secrets so much. They sure as hell don't make friends, and the power they have to destroy friendships is scary as hell.
The question becomes where to start. Emerson and Justine already know. I need to give them time to process before I go and make a formal apology and explain myself.
I could march into Ryder's office and give him the 'good news' but this may actually be something he could fire me for. Maybe it's better if he hears it from Emerson when they get home tonight.
Tyler... nope. For as calm and go with the flow as he is, this will piss him off more than anyone else. I'm not ready to deal with that type of anger just yet.
Angela could be a good place to start although, pregnant or not, she kind of scares me. She's tough, and she doesn't take shit from anyone. She's the only person who's ever called me out on my bullshit, or attempted to anyway. She's not going to want to listen to me.
That only leaves Megan.
She already knows about Kevin. She's been by my side since the beginning for the most part. Hopefully she'll be the most understanding of everyone. I need to have at least one friend by my side at the end of the day. She's my best shot at not losing everyone all at once.
As soon as I'm back at my desk, I gather my things, send Ryder a text that I'm leaving for the day, and head out. Megan should be home from picking up Amara from school by the time I get there. Fingers crossed she's in a good mood. I can't exactly put off telling her.
ME: On my way to your place. I need to tell you something.
MEGAN: Okay. I'll meet you there. Everything okay?
ME: No, but I'm hoping I can make things right.
MEGAN: I don't like the sounds of that.
ME: You won't like what I have to tell you either but just remember that I love you. Your friendship means the world to me, and I'm sorry for everything I've ever done or said to hurt you.
Starting my car, I then toss my phone in my purse. It chimes a few times with incoming texts, but I ignore them. I sent her that message to prepare her. I wanted to hint at what I was about to reveal. She can prepare for what happens next now.
Before I get there.
And if I'm lucky, she'll let go of some of her anger before I have to confess to the worst thing I've ever done in my life. For all the lies I've spread. For the hurt I've caused the people I love most in this world.
And once I've righted all the wrong, I hope I can earn their trust back over time. I'll work for it, but everything in life worth anything is hard work.
That's the last thought that crosses my mind as I pull out of the parking garage and my world comes to a screeching halt.
Chapter Sixteen
Want to know who your true friends are? The ones who will stand by your side even when they hate you. The ones who love you enough to be there when you're the last pers
on they want to see because you've stabbed them all in the back at least once.
All it takes is a major car accident, a near-death experience, and six days in a coma.
When I woke up, the first thing the doctors checked was my memory. Sadly, I remember everything, right up until I heard the screech of tires. My head slammed into the steering wheel, and I blacked out.
Zane was the only person in the room when I woke up, and he had to fill me in on what happened after that.
Apparently, I pulled out in front of a pickup truck. It slammed into my door, pushed my car into the pole of a street light, and trapped an unconscious me inside for almost an hour. My car is totaled.
When they finally extracted me from my vehicle, I was rushed to the hospital. After a thorough exam, they took me into surgery. During the crash, on top of knocking myself out, I lacerated my spleen. It wasn't until I didn't wake up after the surgery that the doctors became really concerned.
There were no signs of traumatic brain injury. I hadn't suffered from a stroke. It was a mystery.
Be warned, though.
The moment you wake up, after everyone hugs you and tells you how happy they are you're alive, someone is going to smack the shit out of you and start yelling.
You know, now that they're sure you're not going to die anytime soon.
That's when shit really hits the fan.
And that's also the person in your life who should mean the most to you. Your best friend. The one who tells you like it is and doesn't sugarcoat shit, even if it hurts your feelings.
For me, that person was Megan.
And even though I'm not surprised it was her, the slap that echoed through the room still caught me off guard. And everyone else.
"You, bitch! I'm so pissed at you," she screamed.
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as Justine rushed over to the door, opened it, and scurried out. Everyone else followed her lead, and within sixty seconds, only Megan and I were left. Even the nurse who had been writing in my chart ran for cover.
This conversation was going to suck.
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