by Taryn Steele
The bedroom door swings opens. Marcie is staring at me as I am on top of Jameson.
What the fuck? Oh-my-god! It’s 3 o’clock in the morning! Why is she coming in here?
When she finally realizes what is going on she mumbles “Sorry” and closes the door. I hop off of Jameson, grab the blanket, wrap myself in it and lay on my side on the bed. I cannot stop repeating “Oh-my-god” out loud. Jameson gets up to put on a pair of shorts and sits next to me on the side of the bed.
“Babe, it’s okay. She didn’t see anything.” He tells me.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now? She saw me on top of you. We were naked and having sex. What the hell was she doing just waltzing in your room at this hour anyway? And she doesn’t even knock first. This is fucking insane Jameson. This bullshit is never ending.”
“I’ll say something to her.” He says, rubbing his forehead in frustration.
“Yeah, and what about next time because lately there always seems to be a next time.”
“I know, you’re right. This has happened with every single one of my relationships. They’ve all ended because of her.”
“I’m going in the bathroom to clean up. Then I’m going to bed and I’m going to get up early and go home. Since you drove me here I hope you will understand and drive me home. I don’t think I can face your mother in the morning for a variety of reasons.”
“I’m sorry babe. I understand, and of course I will drive you home.”
“Don’t apologize. You didn’t tell her she could come in here whenever she wanted without knocking first did you? Especially knowing you had a girl in here?”
“No, I never said such a thing.” He gives me a coy smile. “I’ll try to sort it all out.”
AT 8 AM WE HEARD MARCIE’S alarm clock going off in her bedroom. We got up, changed our clothes and quietly tiptoed out of the bedroom. We picked up our shoes off the floor by the door and snuck out like a couple of teenagers. We were actually giggling going down the stairs to go out to the parking lot.
“Dunkin Donuts?” He asks me a wink.
“Absolutely. Coffee makes everything better.”
“Talk back and I’ll slap you again.”
July 6, 2002
I’VE BEEN DYING TO TALK TO Lily about all of the crap going on with Marcie. She’s gotten tidbits of information from shortened phone calls or emails but it’s easier to tell the whole story in person. We decided to grab a pizza somewhere local to talk.
When we walk in we notice a few people ahead of us waiting to be seated. We’re not in a rush so we grab a menu from the counter to decide what we want before we are seated. After a couple of minutes Lily nudges me in the side and whispers in my ear, “Tess is here.”
I immediately fuel with anger and want to find her and punch her for what she did to me and Jameson. Lily grabs my wrist and tells me to relax then whispers in my ear again, “Not here, not now. She’s with her little sister.”
I calm down and take a few breaths and whisper back “Okay. Just make sure we are not seated near her.” I already know my blood is going to be boiling talking to Lily about Marcie and now to add Tess’s presence to this, has me all sorts of distressed.
After a few more minutes, we are seated and nowhere in view of Tess and her sister. Once we sit down and place our orders Lily looks at me with a very serious face and says, “Spill it.”
I smile, take a deep breath and let it all out. I didn’t let her get a word in edgewise. Even when the waitress stopped to drop off drinks and food I kept talking. I couldn’t stop. Everything from the bath mat, to the toothpaste, the comment about Jameson and I not inviting her out with us, and the icing on the cake of course walking in on us having sex. My fiancé is an only child with a grown ass mother who refuses to cut the umbilical cord to her son. She has no friends, she hasn’t had a boyfriend since the 80’s, and it appears she despises me now for some reason. Mostly because she thinks I’m taking her son away from her.
“You would think with multiple siblings it would be different. In Bevan’s family, if one sibling fucks up his mom is after all of them, and somehow I get roped in to it too. If baby sister gets hurt big brothers have to take care of it. If I give baby sister bad advice in their eyes, I’m the devil. It’s almost like there is no winning.” Lily tells me.
“At least you have the siblings there to have your back. Jameson is an only child. I’ve seen looks and I’ve heard comments here and there at family functions from Marcie’s sisters, nieces and nephews but I’m not close with them enough yet to take those conversations further. I’m hoping that the closer we get to the wedding, the more time I’ll spend with them and feel more comfortable to have talks about Marcie, see if I can figure her out.”
“Hillary, have you ever thought about what if things with Marcie only get worse? Can you live like that for the rest of your life? Do you love Jameson that much to possibly have that constant bullshit in your life? How will she be when you guys decide to have kids? What if you guys buy a house and she buys one on the same damn street? You know she’s fucking crazy enough to do that. I wish I could tell you it’s a fluke thing but I’ve been around long enough. She’s always been cool and easy going until you guys got engaged. Then you started talking about a house and she’s only gotten worse.”
Her words hit me right in the core. I feel like I’m in a boxing ring getting punched over and over again. In the stomach, right hook to the cheek, left hook to the jaw and then an upper cut to the chin until I’m knocked out flat on my back.
“No one should have to wait their entire life to know what it feels like to be loved or in love. Why should I? Because some middle aged, lonely woman can’t cut the fucking umbilical cord to her son and get a fucking life?”
“I’m proud of you Hillary. Bevan has told me that pretty much every relationship Jameson has been in has ended because of Marcie’s bullshit. Break that cycle and she won’t know what hit her.”
“Thanks. I don’t know about you but I’m ready to get out of here. Want to go to Dawn’s for a coffee?” I ask.
“Yeah, let’s go.”
As we climb out of our booth and make our way to the front of the restaurant Tess and her sister round the corner from our right at the same time and bump right in to us. Her sister loses her balance and falls on the ground.
“You fucking bitch! Watch where you’re going! You knocked my sister over!” Tess shouts.
“You bumped in to us! We were walking straight towards the exit! You should have looked first before coming around the corner!” I shout back.
“I’m fine Tess. I wasn’t looking where I was going anyway.” Her sister tells her.
“Stay out of this.” Tess replies.
“What’s your problem, Tess?” Lily asks.
“This has nothing to do with you Lily.” Tess says with a sneer.
“So what exactly is your problem then?” I ask.
“Take it outside ladies!” The manager exclaims from behind the counter. I apologize and we walk out to the parking lot. As we walk outside I feel what I think is a rock hit the back of my leg. I turn around and Tess and her sister are right behind me and Lily with pathetic shit grins on their faces. I stop dead in my tracks and turn around to face Tess.
“Why don’t you have your little sister wait in the car for this?” I suggest.
“Don’t tell me how to handle my sister, Hillary.”
Her sister walks away anyway and gets in Tess’s car.
“Oh, for God’s sake Tess grow up!” Lily interjects.
I step up closer to Tess so I’m right in her face. “You listen me to right now Tess Boudreaux. I don’t know what your problem is but considering you’re the piece of skanky trash that thought she could end my relationship with Jameson so you can have him for yourself, you are all wrong. If I ever find out that you tried to contact him to tell him some bullshit story or anything in that regard I can guarantee that pretty little smile of yours won’t be so pretty anymore.”
Tess stands up taller, almost as if she’s stepping up to a fight. “Hillary, it’s a free country. If I want to talk to Jameson I will. And I’m pretty sure he’ll talk to me too. We’ve been friends for a very long time. We have history. Marcie adores me. I have her on my side as well. She’s told me many times she wanted me and Brody to break up so Jameson and I could be together. She called me two weeks ago to get me to seduce Jameson in a night of hot sex. I still have the message on my phone if you don’t believe me. He’s always had a crush on me. We’ve kissed before you know. He said he loved the way my lips tasted…”
BOOM!
My frustration took over. I couldn’t hear anymore. My blood was boiling. My fists were clenched so hard I was digging my nails in to my palms. Any longer I would have drawn blood. I didn’t know what else to do. I have a great right hook, so I punched her. Knocked her to the ground.
“Holy shit!” Lily exclaims, while covering her mouth to mask her laugh.
“You bitch!” Tess shouts at me from the gravel parking lot ground, while holding the side of her face.
“You should have kept your fucking mouth shut but no, you kept talking shit. Well, I bet you wish you’d shut the fuck up now. I warned you Tess. Maybe next time you’ll listen. For your sisters sake I hope she doesn’t take after you, or your cheating father. Yeah, everyone knows about that too. Now I know where you get it from. Don’t ever talk to me again.”
I walk away towards Lily’s car with her right behind me. My whole body is shaking. My adrenaline is at an inconceivable level. My chest feels tight. My air way feels constricted, almost like I’m having an anxiety attack. I’ve never done anything like that before.
Sitting in the car I close my eyes and take a few, long deep breaths to attempt to calm my nerves. Lily puts her hand on my thigh and gently rubs it in her silent attempt to tell me to calm down. In through the nose, out through the mouth.
When we pull in to Dawn’s there is only one car in the parking lot, obviously just the person working. Lily pulls in to a spot, tells me to grab my cigarettes and to grab a seat at a picnic table and she’ll be back with our coffees.
I’m still shaking. My hand hurts. My chest hurts. My emotions are all over the place. I can’t think straight. I’m happy I punched Tess. I’m upset because I let her words get the better of me. I’m in pain from hitting her in the face. I’m trying over and over again to light a damn cigarette but my hand won’t stay still.
Minutes later Lily is back at the table with two coffees and a zip lock bag filled with ice. I look up at her and smile. She winks back at me. No words need to be exchanged. I’m lucky to have her.
“Don’t be mad but Bevan is on his way here. I told him what happened. He was at home, so it should only be a couple of minutes before he gets here.” Lily admits.
“I’m not mad. I wouldn’t ask you to keep something like this from him. Jameson is bound to find out himself too. Tess is probably calling him right now.”
“We should have gone to Taco Bell for dinner.” Lily says laughing. It’s contagious. I can’t help it but start laughing too. It’s better than crying at this point.
Moments later Bevan pulls in to Dawn’s, parks his car and swaggers his way over to us. He doesn’t say a word. He just stands at the end of the table, looks at me, pulls the bag of ice off of my hand, examines it, puts the bag of ice back and then lifts up his hand. I’m confused, so I lift up my good hand and he high fives me. He starts laughing. I just smile and say “thanks.” Lily tells the story. I just sit there and listen, and interject when I feel necessary.
“Did you call Jameson yet?” Bevan asks.
I just look up at him and shake my head no. “Do you want me to call him and tell him?” He asks. Again I don’t say anything. I just look up at him and shrug my shoulders.
“Maybe you should call him and tell him, hon. It might be easier to digest coming from you as his friend and a guy. Hillary will be all over the place with her emotions telling the story.” Lily tells Bevan.
“It’s cool Hil. I’ll tell him. I’m your friend too. I’m not one to hit a girl but she had that one coming.”
I look down at the table. Too many flashbacks coming to my mind with my ex, Robert.
“Oh shit. I’m sorry, Hillary. I didn’t mean it that way.” Bevan says.
He knows what happened to me. Crap! Jameson must have told him.
“He told us that night the four of us went to the movies to see the new Jennifer Lopez movie, ‘Enough’. You walked out of the theater. If we’d known what it was about we would have never gone to see it.”
“It’s okay Bevan.” I don’t know what else to say. “You know what guys I think I’m gonna go home. I just need to lay down I think.”
“Are you sure?” Lily asks.
“Yeah. I think I just need to be alone with my thoughts. Figure out what the hell to say to Jameson when he calls.”
“I’ll call him around 11:00 p.m., when I know he’s just getting in to his work truck so Marcie isn’t nearby to hear.” Bevan tells me.
“I appreciate that. Truly I do.”
I hug both of them goodbye. I thank them for being good friends and I drive away. But I don’t want to go home just yet. There’s only one place that can bring me some peace of mind right now. The dock.
I shut the ringer off on my phone, turn the music up on the radio and drive to my serenity with my bag of ice on my hand.
This shit hurts!
“I’ll give you matching black eyes if you lie to me again about where you go.”
July 7, 2002
I WAKE UP TO THIRTY-THREE missed calls and eleven voicemails.
Shit! I forgot to turn my ringer back on when I got home.
You have eleven new messages. Press one to hear your messages.
Babe. It’s me. I talked to Bevan. Call me.
Next message.
Babe. It’s me again. Please call me.
Next message.
Babe. You’re scaring me. Please call me. I’m not mad.
Next message.
Hillary. It’s Lily. Jameson is worried. You aren’t calling him back. Now I’m getting worried. Will you please call one of us?
Next message.
Why aren’t you picking up?
Next message.
Bevan and Lily are driving down to the dock to make sure you’re okay.
Next message.
Why aren’t you at the dock? Why aren’t you answering your phone?
Next message.
I’m calling my boss right now to get the night off.
Next message.
Bevan just called. They drove by your house and your car is there. All the lights are off except for the living room. I’m assuming that’s you or your mom. I’m glad you’re home safe. I’m not sure why you won’t talk to anyone though.
Next message.
It’s Lily. Just drove by your house and saw your car there. I hope you’re safe in bed and getting sleep. Bevan said don’t forget to take aspirin for your hand. Call me tomorrow.
Next message.
Hillary, I love you. I hope you call me tomorrow after you’ve had some sleep.
Oh shit! They must be so pissed!
“You’re asking for it!”
July 12, 2002
I CALLED IN SICK TO WORK. I told my boss I hurt my hand but didn’t tell him how. I told him I might be out all week since I’m right handed and that is the hand that is currently all wrapped up in ace bandages and ice. I hang up and realize how lucky I am to have such an easygoing boss.
It’s time to call Jameson back. It’s 9:00 a.m. I know he’s still awake. Even if it was noon I know he would stay up until he heard back from me.
Here goes nothing. I dial his number, listen and wait.
“Hello?”
“Hi babe.”
“Jesus Christ Hillary! Are you trying to give me a fucking heart attack?” He shouts at me.
“I’m sorry. When I left Lily and
Bevan at Dawn’s I wanted to sit down and clear my head. On my way driving to the dock I put my phone on silent. I forgot to turn it back up. I never heard my phone ringing. I swear. When I got home I took a hot shower, took some aspirin and went to bed. I’m sorry.”
“Babe, I’m just glad you’re okay. I talked to Bevan. He told me what happened. I talked to Lily and got her play by play. How’s your hand?” He asks in an exhausted breath.
“It still hurts.”
“Do you think you need to see a doctor?”
“I don’t know. I’m just trying to avoid my parents seeing it and finding out what happened. I told work I would probably be out all week.”
“Would you like me to come take care of you?” He asks.
“You would do that for me?”
“I would do anything for you.”
“Any normal day I would say “yes”, but I’m sure you are completely exhausted from working all night and need sleep.”
“I left work early, around 4:00 a.m. actually. I was worried about you. I almost drove straight to your house but I didn’t want to scare you or piss off your parents. I came home, took a nap for a couple of hours. And now that I know you’re off the rest of the week I’m going to do the same thing. I’m going to email my boss to make sure it’s all clear then I’m going to pick you up and get your hand x-rayed. Then we’ll go from there. Sound good?”
“Jameson, I can’t ask you to do that. Don’t use up all of your time. As much as I would love to have you take care of me I don’t want to stay at your apartment with your mom. I’m sorry.”
“First of all, you’re not asking me to do anything. I’m choosing to do this. Second of all I know you don’t want to stay here. That’s why I’m going to pack a bag and stay with you and your new big bed I haven’t tried out yet. I’ll see you soon.”
I can’t help the enormous smile on my face. I have that giddy school girl feeling as I hang up the phone. I think back to my conversation with Lily over dinner. Back to her asking if I could handle dealing with Marcie for the rest of my life. Will it get worse? Do I love Jameson enough to live frustrated with Marcie’s crap for the rest of my life? But I know that we can work through it. We have so far. Hope for the best and expect the worst right? That’s what the experts say, isn’t it?