by Alice Ward
“What if I get clean, stay clean, and grow the fuck up? Can I buy you the bakery then?”
My smile grew bigger. “Yes.” What a miracle it would be if that could be true.
He picked up a pair of my shorts and placed them in the suitcase. “I’m gonna call my sister today and check on my dad. If he can hold out until after spring training, or at least near the end, will you still go with me?”
“Of course.”
I knew it was tricky waters to make the family trip with him, but I knew he needed me. He wasn’t close to his siblings, and I didn’t want him to face his family alone. I knew what dysfunctional looked like, so maybe I could help, at least a little bit.
“I’m going to dinner with Whitney and Calvin, would you like to join us?” I asked, feeling at peace with where things were between us.
“Sure, but I need to hop in the shower first.” He gave me a sweet squeeze before letting me go and disappearing into the bathroom.
My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and read the text.
Whitney: We’re ready when you are. Starving!
Me: I invited Ace. Don’t be mad. We talked and everything is good. Staying friends. He’s in the shower.
Whitney: You were just friends before… who fucked :(
Me: Well, now we’re just friends… who don’t fuck :(
Whitney: Stick to it!!!!!!!!
Me: Yes mother :)
Whitney: In the lobby in 20
Me: K
After my time in the sun, I knew I needed a shower too, but would have to settle on fixing my makeup and an extra swipe of deodorant. Grabbing my makeup bag, I sat down in front of the mirror in the bedroom. I touched up my foundation, my eyeliner, and my lipstick. I needed more mascara but couldn’t find the tube in my bag. I looked toward the bathroom door.
Shit. It was in there. But, so was Ace. Naked, sudsy Ace. You can do it, girl. Be strong.
I tapped on the closed door. I could hear the water running but didn’t hear if he responded to the knock. I turned the handle and opened it. The room was full of steam, a reminder of why we didn’t shower together. He liked it hot. Too hot. Oh well, not an issue now. We’re just friends.
I spotted my mascara by the sink and stretched out to grab it, but knocked the damn thing to the floor instead, where it landed in a pile of Ace’s dirty clothes.
I bent down to retrieve it and froze, noticing something plastic sticking out from one of his pockets. Gingerly, I reached for it, and it was exactly what I was afraid it was. White powder. There were also some pills in the bag I didn’t recognize.
My instincts kicked in, and before I had a chance to second guess my decision, I opened it over the toilet and dumped the contents into the water. Without thinking, I flushed.
Ace pulled back the shower curtain and took in the scene before him. I was on my knees, empty baggy in my hand. He connected the dots quickly.
“What are you doing?” he gasped, reaching for the baggy, dripping water all over me. His cock was in my face, swinging like a pendulum.
Although my heart was beating wildly in my chest, I laughed at the ridiculousness of my situation. I’d been trying to avoid seeing the naked Ace, and by doing so, his cock was now swaying back and forth right in front of me.
“Holly, what the fuck did you do?” His tone pulled me from my nervous laughter.
“Helping you kick the habit,” I answered as calmly as I could.
“You flushed it?” he demanded.
“Yes.”
“Why would you do that?”
I stood up on shaky legs. “Because you can’t snort it if it’s in the sewer system.”
He was the perfect mix of anger and misery as he stared at the toilet, then at me. “I needed that to get through the night.”
“Why?” I asked, trying to understand.
“Because I’ve run on empty all day. That was the fuel to get me through the rest of the evening.”
I shook my head. “But the stuff keeps you awake, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah, that’s kinda the point.” He sighed and gripped his head with both hands.
“But, that’s my point. If you’re exhausted, and your body needs rest… rest. Don’t pump it full of more drugs to keep it going longer, then different drugs to bring it down. It’s a vicious cycle. Don’t you see that?”
“You don’t understand,” he said. “I need…”
I waited for him to finish and when he didn’t, I left the room.
He followed me and lay down naked on the bed, pulling a pillow over his face. I swiped on some mascara before stepping back in the bathroom to pull a sundress over my head.
“Are you coming to dinner?” I asked.
He didn’t say anything. Didn’t move. Only his chest rose and fell with every breath.
It was strange to see this cocky, strong man succumb to the effects of what was in that little baggie. Of what he’d lost.
After waiting a full minute, I turned and left the room.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Ace
My entire body ached, even my eyes fucking hurt. I pushed the pillow over my face, pressing hard in hopes I could somehow suffocate myself and be put out of my misery. No such luck. I was fidgety but exhausted, and in pain, sore from a hard day’s work on the field.
I couldn’t believe she flushed my shit. Who the fuck did she think she was?
I had to get more, that was all there was to it. Just to get through this week. Then I’d quit like I promised her. I needed to sleep tonight, and I needed to have energy tomorrow.
I’d quit for good after spring training.
I picked up my phone.
Me: More. Now.
Luke: What?
Me: Come to my room and bring your shit. Now.
I grabbed a pair of basketball shorts and slipped them on. I opened my door to make sure Holly was already on the elevator. Good, she’s gone.
Luke’s door opened and his head stuck out into the hall. “What’s the problem, man?”
“Holly flushed my shit. I need some for tonight, or I won’t be worth a damn tomorrow.” I motioned for him to come out of his room. “Bring what you got now, and I’ll get you more.”
Luke opened the door the rest of the way, stretched his arms to the ceiling and walking towards my room. Inside, I closed and locked the door, chain too, just in case Holly forgot something.
“How much do you have left?”
Luke reached into his pocket and pulled out a small baggy, tossing it onto the coffee table. I immediately gripped the key card sitting next to the small pile and created two lines.
“Man, you sure you want to hit that tonight?” Luke asked. “If you’re not going out, you should get some sleep. You look like shit.”
I rolled a hundred into a straw. “Thanks, Daddy, but I need a clear head. I need to think. Got any more downers for later?”
Luke frowned at me but pulled out another bag. I scooped out a few pills and pocketed them.
I snorted up both lines and tilted my head back to get the rush of the drain a little quicker. “Thanks, man,” I swiped my finger along the wood to remove any traces of the white powder left behind and scrubbed it across my gums.
“You’re doing good on the field,” I lied, but feeling I owed the kid something.
He scoffed and leaned back into the cushions. “I choked.”
I slapped him on the shoulder. “Yeah. This shit might not be the answer for you out on the field.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “I’m done with it, period.”
“Good. It’s evil shit.” I swiped my finger along the wood again, just to make sure I got it all.
“That all you need?” he asked as he watched me scrub the powder into my gums again.
“Yeah, thanks. Maybe you could give me your contact’s phone number. It might be a good idea to have a stash on hand, just in case.”
“Sure.” He pulled out his phone and opened his contacts.
“Cherry?” I laughed when he gave me the information. “Do I just tell her that I’m a friend of yours?”
“Yeah. She knows who you are though.”
“What’s her delivery system?” I asked and moved to the bar and filled a glass with scotch. “You want one?”
“No. I’m good. She’ll meet you wherever you want. Just as long as it’s within walking distance of the bar she works at.”
“Cool.”
“I’m gonna get some sleep. Take it easy, wild man.” He slapped me on the back as he walked out.
My phone lit up with a message.
Holly: Get some rest. I’ll bring you food.
Me: Will do. No food needed, but thanks.
I dialed the number to the girl named Cherry. “Hello?” Bar music played in the background as she answered. Good, she’s close.
“Hey, Cherry, this is Ace.”
“Hi, Ace. What can I do for you?”
“I need a repeat on what you gave Luke.”
“Sure thing. Delivery or pick up?”
“How about a compromise, meet in the middle?”
“Sure thing, honey. Twenty minutes. In front of Gators.”
“What’s the cost of shipping?”
“Even three.”
“See you in twenty,” I said and hung up before I could change my mind.
I hadn’t made a deal in so long, the thought of it made me nauseous. I always had it brought to me by people I knew and trusted, or at the very least, shared by friends. This had me all stressed out. I was Ace Motherfuckin’ Newman. I slipped a plain t-shirt over my head and pulled a cap down low. After changing from basketball shorts to khakis, I was good to go.
I stepped out of my room, quickly hit the elevator button, and slid in as the doors were still opening. The music was soothing, something from the Bee Gees. It was calming my nerves. The doors opened, I walked out, and just like that, I was on my way for a drug deal.
I laughed to myself as I walked down the street. Spring breakers were everywhere, flooding in from all over the country now, and no one even stopped me to ask for an autograph.
In front of Gators, I spied a girl with a Beasts baseball cap on, her long blonde curls falling to her waist.
“Hey, sir, would you like to buy some cookies?” Cherry said, and I realized she was holding a box of Girl Scout cookies.
“Clever.” I laughed.
She handed me the box, and I slipped her three bills.
“Give me a call if you start craving any other flavors. I got ‘em all.” She winked as I walked away.
The night air was balmy, and I was feeling better as I returned to the condo complex.
“Ace?”
I turned to find Rhett sitting at an outside patio table by the parking lot.
“Hey, what’s up, Rhett?” I slapped my hand against his.
“Not much. Sorry I missed the game yesterday. I heard it was a rough one.”
“Yeah. It wasn’t the best. I think those damn Yanks got in our heads.”
“Did your sweet tooth kick in?” he asked, pointing to my cookie box.
“Nah, these are for a friend,” I said when he looked like he might ask for one.
“Why don’t you sit down?” he asked. “Have a drink on me. I’d like some of your insights on how you think the team is doing.”
Reluctantly, I sat down and tossed back a few drinks as we talked about strengths and weaknesses of each player. After about an hour, I was done and yawned hugely. “Sorry. Gotta get some sleep.”
Rhett smiled. “Good idea. You taking care of yourself?”
I felt the implied question behind the words.
“Yeah, doing great. See ya tomorrow.”
I rushed into the hotel, through the lobby, and into the elevator. Two young spring breakers were in the metal box, luckily more interested in arguing over Pokémon Go than paying any attention to me.
In the room, I opened the box to find… cookies. I popped one in my mouth and dug deeper to find the baggy of white powder speckled with some pills.
Looking around the room, I looked for a good place to stash it. I didn’t need more tonight. This was just backup for whenever I was having a bad day.
But I probably should check it for quality tonight.
Right?
I opened the baggy and dipped my pinky into it, wincing at the sharp taste. I dumped some of the powder onto the table and scraped it into two long lines. I pulled the bill from my pocket, snorted them up. Oh yes. Pure gold.
Experiment concluded.
Giving myself only a few moments to enjoy the rush my brain was experiencing, I took out a couple of the pills before tying the baggy back up. I stuffed it into a sock, then stuffed the sock in the back of a drawer.
Shit. I was jittery and wished like hell I had some weed to bring myself down just a little. I checked my watch, but it was too soon to take a pill, so I poured a scotch instead.
An hour later, I was still pacing the room, hyped up with too much energy. I popped a pill, then a second with another two fingers of scotch. Soon, I was feeling sleepy and laid down to wait for Holly.
***
“Ace?”
A warm hand was patting my face, a second hand shaking my shoulder.
“Ace, you need to wake up. The team is leaving in half an hour.”
I opened an eye, then closed it quickly against the brightness of the room. I tried again, and Holly came into focus. She was looking down at me with concern.
I stretched and sat up, realizing I’d slept all the way through the night. Holly grinned at me and pushed my hair back from my forehead. “See, I told you that you needed a good night’s sleep.”
Too bad I still felt like complete shit.
“Yeah,” I said instead. “It was just what I needed.”
I looked around and noticed her suitcases by the door and pain stabbed me in the ribs. I quickly looked away and saw that she was dressed. “What time are you leaving?”
She smiled, but it looked forced. “In a few minutes.”
Moving closer to her, I pulled her against my chest, holding on to her hard. “I’m going to miss you,” I told her.
Her fingers dug into my back. “I’m going to miss you too.”
She was the first to pull away.
It was strange not knowing what to do with her. Before this shit happened, I would throw her down on the bed and give her a proper tongue lashing as a goodbye present. But we weren’t those types of friends anymore.
“Goodbye, Ace,” she said, reaching for her suitcase and tossing a bag over her shoulder.
“Here, let me help—” I stopped when she shook her head.
“Help is on its way. Besides, you need to get ready to go. Good luck today.”
“Can I have another hug?” I asked.
She opened her arms and invited me into her embrace. I took a long whiff of her scent, let my hands fall past her bag to her ass for one last squeeze, and stopped myself from attempting to nuzzle her neck.
“Do your best to be your best, Ace,” she said as she pulled away.
I laughed. “That sounds like a greeting card.”
She laughed in return. “It’s corny but very fitting.”
“Yes. I guess it is.”
There was a knock on the door, and I opened it to find a bellman outside. Holly smiled at him, gesturing towards her bag. I found my wallet and slipped him a twenty, then stuffed a couple hundred in her purse when she wasn’t looking.
The silence stretched between us like a rubber band about to snap.
She rushed over to me and lifted onto her tiptoes, planting her lips on my cheek.
“Don’t go,” I begged, emotion hurting my chest when I felt her begin to cry.
Tears burned my eyes, then escaped down my cheeks when she pulled away and ran through the door.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Holly
“So, we have three weeks without Calvin?” I sipped my coffee at Whitney’s mahogany kit
chen table.
“Yup. So, it’s all about the dress, ‘bout the dress, no trouble.” Whitney danced and sang around the kitchen to her own altered lyrics.
“You’re awfully happy for a woman who won’t have sex for almost three more weeks.” I teased, then closed my eyes against the reminder that I wouldn’t be either.
I already missed Ace. I missed his body pressed against mine. This was going to be a lot harder than I thought. At least Whitney knew she’d be with Calvin again. I didn’t have anyone.
I cleared my throat and read from my little notepad that had wedding doodles all over the front. “Okay, so today I’ve mapped out the cake testing bakery locations, the floral shops, the chair store, and—”
“Bakeries?” Whitney slammed her hand on her hip and tossed me one of her famous toddler’s in tiara’s runway poses. “I already know who’s making my cake.”
I groaned. We’d been through this before. “Whitney, this is your special day. I’ve only made cakes for simple little Indiana weddings, not big fancy shindigs.”
“Trust me, Holly. Your cakes are far better than anyone else’s. In fact, let’s print you up some cards today and start passing them out.”
I held up a hand. “Whoa, slow down there, girlfriend. I can’t just start making and selling cakes out of my kitchen.”
She raised a brow. “Why not?”
I rolled my eyes at her. “Because I’m not a fan of prison? I need a business license, home processing—”
Whitney held up a hand. “Okay. Okay. I get it. But you can still bake for a friend, right?” she asked, grinning.
I grinned back. “Yes, but I really think you should leave the big cake to a bakery. I can do the groom’s cake and some other pastries to fill out the table. Will that work?”
She grabbed my hand. “You have tasted your own cake right? Nothing I’ve ever put in my mouth tastes better.”
“It’s just that people here tend to expect everything to be sophisticated.”
“And your mirror icing isn’t sophisticated?” she argued. “Or your roses aren’t the prettiest I’ve ever seen?”
I sighed and scratched off the cake testing, realizing that changing Whitney’s mind wasn’t possible.
“I’ll help you with anything you need. I’ll be your assistant.” Whitney smirked, waved a wooden spoon in the air, and continued her rhythm challenged style of dancing.