Rage Against the Devil (Wild Beasts Series Book 2)

by T. Birmingham

  Breathed into the moment.

  She heard the whispers of the Stone get louder, and instead of fighting the whispers, she accepted them and their knowledge.

  Breathe, it whispered. Always breathe. I am still here.

  She felt the whispers in her core, in her heart, in her mind, and a spark lit inside her center that made her smile. But her spark stuttered as it always did.

  She tried to reach for it, tried to grab ahold of the tiny flame, but it wouldn’t come. Right on the edges of her soul.

  When she took a breath to once again refocus and reach for her spark, for more whispers, though, she was met with a barrage of emotion and physical pain that slammed into her. She curled in on herself, wracked by the pain. Hands reached for her, and she crawled away from them.

  Don’t touch me, she screamed.

  She hoped he heard it. Hoped he knew she wouldn’t let him touch her if she could stop it.

  Wouldn’t let him inside her if she could help it.

  Wouldn’t let him take her everything.

  She screamed as he moved inside of her, and she felt the pain of the moment as he broke her piece by piece.

  In and out, her body rebelling, trying to pull away, trying to escape, trying—

  Trying to be anywhere else!

  No!

  God, no!

  Please, don’t!

  Don’t take it all…

  Her breath came out in a rush of such deep, dark emotion, and she choked on her sobs as her soul, her spirit, her mind, her body-

  STOP!

  Please, please, please, please…

  Please, stop.

  Gods, help me!

  Please, help me, she sobbed out to the universe that did not listen.

  A universe that had abandoned her to the cold. To the barren fields of existence.

  He finished his movements and exited her body, leaving very little but the dark music of loneliness and a feeling of abandonment that made her feel so dirty, so disgusted, so much the victim that she wanted to fight, but she had no fight left.

  But he hadn’t broken her completely.

  She still held that one still, small piece of her spirit.

  He couldn’t take it all.

  He couldn’t take her spark.

  She’d bottle that part up tight, and he wouldn’t get it.

  That was Melina’s and Melina’s alone.

  Eire came to slowly.

  Her throat felt raw, and she knew she’d been screaming.

  For how long, she didn’t know.

  But she understood.

  Understood too much now.

  Understood more than she’d ever wanted to, but still exactly what she’d always needed to understand.

  Understood so completely, she stopped crawling away from the hands that were trying to soothe her.

  Ina.

  She was feeling Ina.

  Her anxiety. The emotions. The struggling to be around people. The excitement when she got to Girls’ Night. The fear. The anger. The mind-numbing sadness. Some of those emotions she owned. But some of them…some of them were everyone else's.

  Eire opened her eyes, and two Skröm stood in front of her. She trusted them both as much as she trusted all the community she’d met in these mountains, more than she thought she’d ever trust anyone.

  “I know how to help Ina,” Eire said, looking to Alexia, and instead of questioning her, Alexia smiled soothingly and nodded her head, like she’d known the truth all along, like the strong leader she was.

  Ina lay asleep on the bed, and her jerky movements made Eire want to protect the woman forever, pull the small, darker-skinned Azima into her arms and never let her go. But a friend’s embrace was like a mother’s embrace.

  There was a time for sheltering love and there was a time for growth that could not happen under the roof of protection. There was a time for rest, and there was a time for action.

  Now was the time for a little of all of these.

  But above all, now was a time for healing.

  She squashed the fear that crawled through her body like the invasion she’d just experienced in such a small way in comparison to the woman lying on the bed.

  “Ina,” Eire whispered from the doorway. She didn’t want to get too close, didn’t want to wake the beautiful soul on that bed, but she knew what she was dreaming. Eire’s knives poked out a bit and dug into her skin, and she felt the comforting hand of Alexia at her back. Jesus, she’d wanted to kill the woman just a few months earlier.

  “Ina,” she whispered a little louder, and Eire reached for that tiny bit of Stone that she could just barely feel, coiled so tightly inside of her, mimicking the small spark of a gift that she knew her childhood friend had living within, hidden from the bastard who’d tried to destroy her.

  Ina jerked and then shot up in the bed, her back hitting the wall the bed rested against, and her knees coming up to her chest. Making herself as small as she could, just as she’d done on the inside. Just as Eire’s own gift was doing in physical and emotional empathy. That was Stone’s other purpose. Not just creation and destruction, but acceptance of the pain that comes with creation and destruction, just as Morrigan had experienced when she’d created the Fae and the Others.

  Eire held out her hand, palm down, in a gesture often used to calm a wild animal, and she knew Ina saw the intention for what it was.

  Understanding.

  An offering to help Ina find some peace.

  Eire felt the tears stream down her face. God, now that she was open, she could feel it all, and still she knew it was only a small part of what her childhood friend was truly feeling.

  It hurt.

  It all hurt.

  Her heart.

  Her head.

  Her sex.

  Her skin.

  But worst of all, her spirit hurt.

  Her soul cried out.

  “Oh, Ina,” Eire said, moving slowly toward her friend.

  “Eirey, make it stop. I can’t anymore. I can’t make it stop.”

  Eire couldn’t truly make it stop. She couldn’t take away the evil that had touched her friend. She couldn’t take away the Darkness, either. That was something Ina would live with now.

  But she could heal.

  She could pull out that spark.

  She moved in unsteadily, afraid that she wouldn’t be able to do this, and she felt the shock of the moment fade when Alexia came to stand next to her. Always the leader, even though Eire felt it now… Alexia was just as afraid. Just as hurt. Just as angry. Just as lost.

  “Alexia…” Eire’s voice trailed off. Why was she having so much trouble speaking? Her throat kept catching. Her body shook…her head ached…but she ignored these things.

  “You can do it, Eire,” Alexia said, smiling. And then Alexia stood a little taller as she walked toward the bed. “You can do this. For Melina—”

  “Ina,” Eire corrected. Her Ina.

  “You do like your nicknames,” Alexia said, smiling and looking down at the skittish woman who was like a live wire: exposed, raw, jittery. Almost simultaneously, Alexia and Eire both reached the bed, and they also both saw Ina flinch, but Alexia had a way about her. “We got along because of that, Ina. You’ve got a heart of gold, babe. You’re smart as a whip and the best barback Damon ever had.” Alexia took a steadying breath. “Best barback Damon has,” she quickly corrected, letting Ina know that she was still theirs.

  Alexia looked to Eire with such surety.

  “You. Can. Do. This,” Alexia said as her hand fisted the sheet of the bed, and Eire didn’t know if Alexia even knew she’d done it. “I believe in you, Eire Donovan. Let that Stone out, and show the Fae world who’s really top bitch. Not the ice queen. The refreshing cold of a first snow. The calming cold of a Stone. The Eire Donovan who Titania and I know you can be. The Eire Donovan Ina needs you to be.” They both looked at Ina huddled in the corner, not speaking, a doe hiding as though she were prey.

  So fragile.r />
  So broken.

  Goddamn it all to the Veil.

  He’d broken her.

  He’d destroyed her.

  And Eire didn’t know if she could fix this.

  But she’d give her everything to Ina if it meant she could help her friend.

  She’d push aside her fear, and she’d heal her. But she needed a little extra juice now.

  She was afraid to ask.

  She really had no right.

  Not after all she’d done, even if they’d all apparently forgiven her. She still hadn’t forgiven herself for what she’d done to their family, to Nicky.

  So, no. She had no right.

  But she’d suck up her goddamned pride for this.

  “I need your fire,” Eire said, looking Alexia dead in the eye.

  Alexia gave her a curious look in return. They held each other’s gaze and Eire felt it to her core when Alexia finally understood.

  “Jesus,” Alexia whispered, and Eire didn’t know if the woman was speaking to her or just sharing her thoughts out loud. “It was right there in front of me the whole time…” Alexia paused and looked behind them to Ginny and then back to Ina and Eire. “Those dreams Titania spoke of in the shared dream we had…” They’d never really spoken of it, but still Eire nodded. She remembered that dream. Titania had started crowding her dreams again when she’d gone to what Danny liked to call ‘the dark side’. “In the dream, we’re all in a field, and the cold is killing everyone. But I can’t save them, Eire. I can’t save them, and in the dream, they all die as my fire ignites and I burn from the inside out.” Alexia’s eyes met her own, and she saw the pain, the utter helplessness Alexia had felt in those dreams.

  “But I didn’t have those dreams while you were here,” Alexia continued, in whispered awe, and Eire was shocked at the revelation. “Then suddenly, after Nicky’s attack, I started having the dreams again.” Alexia smiled. “And what do you know, but they’ve been gone for six weeks now.”

  “You think—”

  “I know,” Alexia said, cutting her off. “You’re how we stop the destruction of our people.” Our people. Because she was a part of them now. She felt that truth, and she sucked in a breath. “And we can heal Ina. You and me. We can do this.” Alexia’s voice was so confident that Eire felt the confidence echo and seep into her as well. “Fuck,” Alexia said with a smile, “we’ve got this, Snow Queen.”

  “Snow Queen?” Eire asked, a laugh escaping. She wanted to stop it. Such an inappropriate moment, but she didn’t.

  “I’m working on a nickname. I can’t exactly call you Vanilla like Nicky does.” Alexia shook her head. “Yuck. He’s all soft and gooey when he says it, too.”

  “Says the woman who gets stars in her eyes whenever her man bear calls her Red.” Eire smiled at the redhead who was now bright red.

  “It’s different,” Alexia said.

  “It’s not,” Ginny said from behind them. Eire’s smile only grew. She looked to the bed, and her smile dipped slightly until she saw that Ina had come away from the wall and was smiling and breathing less heavy.

  Ina moved to the edge of the bed slowly and Eire and Alexia backed up to let her sit up and come back to herself. She looked up at them, a smile on her face, her presence still small, but growing by the moment.

  “I’m ready, Eire…” She looked at Eire with so much trust, and Eire pulled herself together. She tried to bring up a shield of ice that was a result of her Fae heritage…habit, but then remembered that she was Swords and Stone, and that the Stone part of herself would not allow that icy barrier.

  She could be strong, she could be whole, she could be who she needed to be without that not-so-lovely gift her grandmother and her mother had given her.

  They settled in the living room, the large windows and the skylights offering up a calming view to the outdoors without actually being out in the snow that Eire knew Ina wouldn’t be able to handle like the Clan member she knew Ina had hidden inside of her.

  Instead of sitting as Alexia was doing, Eire stood next to the large couch on Ina’s other side, and she closed her eyes.

  She took a moment to center herself, but instead of the racing she used to feel towards her inner color, her inner light, she instead felt herself walk into the moment of healing.

  Her colors surrounded her like light breezes brushing her face.

  They touched her feet with their cooling presence and brushed along her still exposed ribs like a warm fire.

  Yes, fire. Alexia’s power connecting with her own.

  She didn’t need to open her eyes. She felt her new friend’s fire sit alongside her cold like an old friend, rather than the opposites they’d thought they were. Complementing each other. Moving in tandem to create something new.

  To heal.

  She felt the Darkness between them, but she couldn’t take that away. No one could take away Darkness. Darkness was there no matter how much you denied its presence. And Eire had found that she loved her Darkness. Her Darkness was the one good thing that had come from her fucked up childhood, and she’d offer comfort and healing to her friend, so Ina too could learn to accept the Darkness as a gift. To understand its usefulness in working to make the world a little more Light.

  She felt past the Darkness, past the evil that still clung to her friend, and she reached deep, touching her friend’s spirit and that tiny little ball of gold light that fluttered near Ina’s core. She heard whispers in her mind then.

  Breathe, Snow Queen, Alexia whispered into her mind, and Eire laughed on the inside.

  No, it still doesn’t work, Red Queen, Eire’s mind whispered back.

  Oh, I like that, Alexia answered. Red Queen.

  You would.

  She felt other whispers touch her and both Eire and Alexia gasped at the touch of the mother’s embrace.

  What is that? Alexia asked, and Eire felt her mental shuddering.

  Eire shared images of the history she had just lost Nicky to last night.

  Oh, Eire, you haven’t lost Nicky. That man is as steady as they come.

  She felt the mother’s voice enter into Alexia’s statement and knew that Morrigan agreed.

  What’ve we got, ladies? the goddess asked as she made her presence known.

  Shit. She felt Alexia’s surprise and let out a quick laugh.

  Eire had been prepared for it. She’d known on some level that this would be no normal healing.

  You ain’t kidding, Lex, Morrigan answered. Fucking took you ladies forever to get to this point.

  You’re not at all like your daughter, Alexia pointed out. No, Titania had been formal and even though open, still a little cold like the Fae she had been for so long.

  Yeah, my daughter’s fucking one a kind, the goddess answered, and Eire pictured her rubbing her hands together, on the edge of her seat, waiting to get shit done.

  They’re both one a kind. Eire smiled, thinking of both Morrigan and Titania.

  Too true, Morrigan said into their minds, answering Eire’s thought. Too fucking true, my starlight.

  Eire felt that nickname. Starlight. Not a moon. But she was okay with that. She didn’t want to be a moon. She also didn’t want to be a cold star. But she was cold. She had been forged in fire and was now burning cold across the universe. And she was also, for all that she was Dark, still a little bit of the Light she needed to be.

  So fucking proud of you, Morrigan said, and Eire felt her shields come down completely, her walls crumble at her goddess’, at the mother’s faith in her. And she realized she’d been hoping for that acceptance. She’d been afraid of censure, and she’d gotten something better.

  I’ll make this right, Eire said to the mother and then honed in on her Stone, letting the mother’s power fill her up. Because that’s where her Stone came from. The connection with Morrigan. That’s why she always felt whole and rejuvenated afterward. She wasn’t using a gift like others used their gifts. The gift of Stone was quite literally a connection to the god
dess and damn but that made her feel even more humble in that moment. She felt Morrigan’s smile in her soul at that realization.

  I chose you, Starlight. I chose you. You. Can. So. Fucking. Do This. And you, die Kriegerin Skröm, the goddess said, directing her next statement at Alexia. My daughter chose you. And though she hasn’t always chosen well, Morrigan continued, this time, I’m so fucking proud of my Titania too.

  Thank you. That was all. And for Alexia, saying so little was rare. The woman never had a problem sharing her words. But Alexia’s answer was so full of pain and warrior strength that her ‘thank you’ meant so much more.

  Eire felt again for that small, gold ball of light and power and damn, what power Ina had. She smiled to herself. Her father had made some powerful fucking enemies.

  Alexia’s fire touched the small gold ball gently, rubbing along Eire’s refreshing cold. Eire had worried they would hurt Ina, but instead, they felt Ina breathe out in a whoosh of surprise and relaxation that pulled at Eire’s mind and heart, bringing peace to what she was about to do.

  Alexia’s fire melted while Eire’s snow cooled, and together they worked at the puzzle of undoing the treasure hidden deep inside of Ina. All the while, Eire’s colors and the mother’s embrace hugged them close, but now that she’d spoken with Morrigan, the comfort felt like more. It felt solid, real, like the tough love a mother should have for her children. Imperfect and still so perfect in its imperfection. Yes, Morrigan was definitely the creator of the Others and the Fae. Perfectly imperfect.

  The gold ball uncoiled slowly, fanning out, opening in spurts, letting out little pieces of Light that speared outward into other areas of Ina’s soul, spirit, mind, and body.

  She felt the Darkness there too, and she brushed against it in companionship. The Dark she knew. She was just learning the Light. And both were necessary for her friend’s healing.

  The Light and the Dark blended together, moving outward, filling the vessel they were working in, until the gold ball no longer existed, until only a few small gold nuggets, like shiny stones polished by the battering of the ocean, were left.

  Beautiful, Morrigan whispered. She’s going to be so amazing.