Hunter's Kiss

by Niall Teasdale

  ‘No. Well, there are always more, but not active in this area. Not now. We’d have seen bodies turning up.’

  Mike winced. ‘You know that’s tempting fate, right?’

  ‘I’ll offer up a prayer to Clotho just as soon as I get home, I promise.’

  ‘Well, that’s another one to look up on Wikipedia,’ Mike muttered.

  26th November.

  The table where Leo Darius was holding court was obvious to Mike as soon as he and Dione got to the top of the stairs. It was one of the larger ones in the middle of the floor and extra chairs had been pulled around it. All but two of those had people in them: men in suits, women in cocktail dresses. As far as Mike knew, Darius had never been married, but there were a number of women associated with him. Mike suspected that Diana Hunter was not on that list, but Dione clearly knew the big man and the even bigger one sitting to his right.

  Dione had picked her latex tank to wear this evening and, to Mike’s utter astonishment, the huge bodyguard, because he had to be a bodyguard, blushed as she bent to kiss him on the cheek. She just grinned at Darius and then sat down, leaving the chair directly beside the mobster for Mike. Mike took it, trying not to look too nervous.

  ‘Introductions,’ Dione said. ‘Mike Williams, detective investigator, NYPD Specialist Crimes Unit. My partner.’ Her gaze swept the table and various people nodded, looking serious but not threatened. Mike had expected a cop to raise more alarm in what were likely a lot of criminals. ‘Mike, that blushing giant is Barney Watts, everyone calls him Bar. On his right is Rachelle Hays, she’s Leo’s PA. In case you hadn’t guessed, you’re sitting beside Leonard Darius. I’m not going to give all the other names. They can introduce themselves if they need to, or you may remember seeing their mugshots at some point.’

  Mike could have named at least three where that applied. ‘Pleased to meet you. Uh, it’s an honour.’

  Darius laughed, a rolling sound that filled the room. ‘Dubious one, I’m sure. I’m Leo, unless you don’t feel you can honour me with the familiarity.’

  Mike came to a decision in that moment. ‘Well, Leo, Dione says I should trust you and she’s my partner. I figure it can’t be easy sitting down with a cop, just as it’s not that easy for me sitting down with a… gentleman of a less law-abiding persuasion, so let’s just pretend I’m just the Hunter’s partner and you’re just the leader of the Concilium and neither of us need worry about it.’

  Leo Darius gave a slow nod. ‘Honesty is not an attribute of most of the cops I do sit down with, Mike. Neither is the courage to make that little speech.’ His gaze shifted to Dione. ‘Okay, I think you picked a good one. Going to take a lot to beat Kate, but he shows promise.’

  ‘You’re just saying that because Kate had great legs,’ Dione told him.

  There was another booming laugh, this time joined with more laughter from around the table. ‘I won’t deny that.’ Darius turned to one of the men at the table, one of only two Caucasians. ‘Ben, let’s get some drinks in here and we’ll get to know Mike. And you’ll have some questions, Mike, I have no doubt.’

  ‘I think I could ask questions until I retire and not get to the bottom of all this,’ Mike replied.

  Another rumble of laughter. ‘True enough, especially when it comes to our Hunter. I’ve known her… what is it? Hundred and fifty years? And I haven’t learned all there is to know.’

  ‘June eighteen sixty-one,’ Dione said. ‘South Carolina.’

  ‘That’s right.’ Darius fixed his gaze on Mike, grinning brightly. ‘I was running slaves to the North. It’s late, barely light, and I’m bouncing along in an old cart with a dozen escapees in the back, and I’m black so if we’re seen there’ll be Hell to pay anyway, and I see this rider coming in the other direction. I thought it was a man at first, done up in riding jodhpurs, a great big coat, and a wide-brimmed hat, and I could see what I thought was a rifle on the saddle. I slowed down, he slowed down, and we’re edging closer and I can see this stranger is white. I’m thinking I’m going to have to shoot him, and that was when a dozen Confederate soldiers out on a patrol came out of nowhere.’

  The mobster paused to take a drink and Mike realised he was actually hanging on the story, waiting to find out what happened, even though it was probably obvious. The rest of the table seemed to be doing the same, except for Dione, who was sitting there with an amused smirk on her face.

  ‘Well, I figured I was screwed,’ Darius continued. ‘The slaves are dead and I’m going to wake up with holes all over the following morning. And then this stranger takes off like a demon sprung right out of Hell. The rifle turns out to be a sword, and he cuts every last one of the soldiers down before they can get a shot off. By then, he’s lost his hat and I see all this jet-black hair, and the way the coat is hanging, and make this vast, intuitive leap and decide he’s actually a she, and the rest, as they say, is history.’

  ‘It was actually a four-man patrol,’ Dione said, ‘and I shot one riding in. One of them clipped me with a bullet before I put him down. But let’s not let the facts get in the way of a good story.’

  Darius waved the corrections aside. ‘Details. This lot wouldn’t know which end of a sword to hold on to. Vampires these days…’

  A glass of whiskey was put down in front of Mike and he settled back in his seat. He had a feeling it was going to be a long night.

  ~~~

  ‘So I’m running this long con in London,’ Leo said. He was definitely Leo now and Mike was definitely more than a little tipsy. ‘It was… what? Eighteen ninety-six?’

  ‘July,’ Dione said in confirmation. ‘I’d just moved over from Boston. Mary had left for Seattle and I thought I’d travel a little.’

  ‘Full-on scam,’ Leo continued. ‘Set it all up so I was this deposed prince from Windingolagola, a land rich in gold if only I could mount an expedition to get enough funds to form an army and regain my heritage. Variation on a Spanish prisoner scam. I’ve got a couple of other vampires playing my servants. Everyone’s got their act down pat and we’ve got three, no less, rich idiots willing to finance our expedition.’

  ‘He’s not exaggerating this time. He really had three scams on the go at once and he was pulling off all three.’

  ‘And right in the middle of this, right in front of one of my customers, in walks this tall beauty and says, “If you’re the prince of Windingolagola, I must be the Queen of Sheba.”’ The table burst into roars of laughter, Mike joining in. Somehow it was a lot easier to hear about crimes when the statute of limitation was probably long gone and it was in a different country.

  ‘The next thing I know,’ Dione said, frowning, ‘I’m being introduced as his friend, the Queen of Sheba. I had a costume by the following day. Lots of draped cloth and not very decent for the period, I might add.’

  ‘We made a fucking fortune on that scam,’ Leo said with a reminiscent sort of sigh. ‘Of course, she made me give most of the profits away to charity, but it was worth it to see those old fools drooling over the visiting queen.’

  ‘He had to shut it down because there were rumours getting out and one of his contacts caught a hint that the Queen of Sheba was about to get an invite to the palace. Buckingham Palace.’

  ‘I was so pissed off about that. You could’ve pulled it off.’

  Dione gave a small shrug. ‘Yes, I could’ve, but it would’ve been a stupid risk. I’m all for taking appropriate risks, but that one was just pointless. And I don’t believe in scamming royalty. Unless it’s really necessary anyway.’

  Leo’s lips curled into a smile which was far too wide. ‘You remember the summer of nineteen twenty-one.’

  ‘Oh… don’t.’

  ‘Dione storms into my office… Wait, background.’ He focused his attention on Mike and looked quite serious. ‘Nineteen twenty-one I was making a total killing due to the most insane law anyone’s ever passed in this country.’

  ‘The Volstead Act,’ Mike said. ‘Prohibition. You were smuggling liquor.
’

  ‘I was smuggling good-quality liquor. There were people going blind drinking homemade crap. They said booze was the cause of domestic violence and turned men into devils, so they banned it. What they got was the solidification of organised crime, income tax, corruption, and people drinking stuff that shouldn’t be used to strip paint. You can’t legislate morals, not when pretty much everyone has different ones.’

  ‘I’m not going to disagree.’

  ‘Good man. Anyway, at the time, Mary needed a job–’

  Mike looked at Dione. ‘Our Mary?’

  Dione nodded slowly and aimed a hard look at Leo.

  Leo coughed and continued. ‘She needed a new identity and a job, so I took her on as my bookkeeper. She was amazing at keeping the books tangled. We didn’t have computers back then, but you could just see how she was going to be a hacker when they did turn up. Dione did not approve of me “corrupting a poor, innocent girl,” and she marched in to my office to point out the errors of my ways.’

  ‘Mary was not best pleased with me,’ Dione said. ‘She’s had her doubts, but she was enjoying herself and even if she thought that men drank too much, it was still a stupid law. A couple of days later, with a bit of help from Mary, this… criminal has got me running badger games to get blackmail material on various city officials and cops.’

  ‘She was very moral about it,’ Leo said before Mike could comment. ‘No tricks was what she said. They had to fall for her charms without any succubus tricks. If she could get them into a compromising position on charm alone, then they deserved to get shaken down. When she was done, I had every last one of my targets on a short leash, and Dione was sure that Mary was safe with me. Win-win.’

  Mike shook his head and looked at Dione. ‘You have a more flexible outlook on the law than I thought.’

  ‘I’m old enough to have seen legal systems come and go many times. There are some things I won’t put up with and Leo… Leo has never done anything I’m aware of that I’d call him out on. We’re straying into dangerous topics of conversation.’

  ‘And the drinks are running low,’ Leo pointed out, ‘and some of us have work in the morning.’

  ‘Yeah, I should get Mike back and pour him into bed.’

  ‘I’m not that drunk,’ Mike said, slurring just enough to make it unconvincing.

  ‘Yeah, and I’m not that dead.’

  27th November.

  Mike nodded off in the car on the way back to his apartment, waking up a little green when they arrived, and Dione decided that helping him into bed would be for the best. Mike was not entirely sure he needed the help, and was fairly certain he did not want it, but then there was the issue with the room spinning. His body was metabolising alcohol and he was sinking fast.

  ‘This isn’ dig… dignified,’ Mike mumbled as Dione removed his briefs.

  ‘You’ve got nothing I haven’t seen many times before,’ Dione told him in a matter-of-fact tone. ‘Now, go to sleep. I’ll find water and painkillers and put them beside your bed.’

  ‘Yeah… sure.’

  ‘Leo’s always like that. He forgets humans are affected by alcohol. I don’t think any less of you for being human.’ She covered him over and stood for a second, watching him. ‘Being human is your greatest asset to me. Just remember that.’

  ‘Nmm…’

  Dione raised an eyebrow and then walked out, heading for the bathroom. She found a cabinet there fixed to the wall, and blister packs of paracetamol and aspirin. She made a note to get him something stronger, because he was likely to need it, and selected the paracetamol because it was easier on the stomach. Next stop was the kitchen to fill two glasses with water, and then she walked back to the bedroom where Mike was now snoring rhythmically. Her lips twitched.

  She was walking out of the bedroom when Leanne opened the front door. The way the apartment was arranged, Leanne looked straight down the corridor to see Dione in high-heeled, thigh-high boots and a latex tank dress walking towards her.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ Leanne said, more surprised than angry, but Dione could smell the anger coming.

  ‘Putting our boy to bed. He drank a little too much. My fault. When Leo gets started on his stories, people tend to forget they’re putting away pints.’

  Leanne’s eyes narrowed. ‘I see.’

  Dione continued walking until she was just a little too close. ‘Leanne, he’s my partner, and I’ll look after him. I’ll defend him with my life if I have to. I have absolutely no intention of making any sort of play for him, no desire to. You have nothing to worry about.’ She leaned forward, sniffing softly. There was blood, sweat, mild arousal, and a little fear. Leanne leaned back and Dione said, ‘I wasn’t expecting you back here tonight. It’s good, you can feed him painkillers when he wakes up. Tell him not to worry about getting in a little late.’

  Leanne swallowed and licked her lips. Her throat was suddenly dry. ‘Uh, we weren’t busy so they sent me out to get some sleep. I’m on call. Might not be here when he wakes up.’

  ‘I’m sure he’ll manage. I should go.’

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘You’re standing in the doorway.’

  ‘Oh!’ Leanne stepped aside quickly.

  ‘Thank you,’ Dione said, sliding past while keeping herself just a little closer than was comfortable. ‘Sleep well, Leanne.’ And she was gone.

  Leanne watched the closed door for a second or two and then turned, starting for the bathroom. ‘Yeah, right after I’ve had a cold shower,’ she muttered.

  ~~~

  ‘How’s the head?’ Dione asked as Mike slouched into Winthrop’s lab.

  ‘Throbbing in a vaguely nauseating way,’ Mike replied.

  ‘Partying with Leonard,’ Winthrop said, grinning. ‘It’s always a hazardous activity. I’ve learned to pace myself on the odd occasion when it happens.’

  ‘Well, I know that now.’ Mike looked at Dione, a frown on his face which was not just the throbbing behind his eyes manifesting itself. ‘I had this weirdass dream that you took my clothes off.’

  ‘Oh?’ Dione said, raising an eyebrow in a manner which would have been a warning to anyone else. ‘And, in this dream, what happened next?’

  ‘You said I was an asset and then you were wearing a black catsuit and you were holding a bullwhip.’

  ‘I’d suggest that was a dream,’ Winthrop said, ‘since no known vampire has the ability to instantly change clothes.’

  ‘Partially,’ Dione agreed. ‘I did undress you. I think you’d have fallen over and broken your neck trying to get out of your pants. I also said you being human was an asset to me, but I thought you’d fallen asleep by then.’ She paused while Mike’s cheeks coloured and then added, ‘I also have a black catsuit, reinforced in the same way your vest is. However, I don’t use a bullwhip. Riding crops, floggers, sometimes a tawse, but a bullwhip it a little too harsh for my tastes.’

  ‘I’m, uh, glad we cleared that up,’ Mike said. ‘I’d have thought me being human was more of a liability.’

  ‘No, because you’re alive.’

  ‘So?’

  ‘Dead things don’t create, Mike. Vampires can be intelligent and they can formulate plans which take decades, or even centuries, to complete, but they aren’t creative. We can spot a clever idea and build on it. We can be a technically brilliant artist or appreciate art that a human has created as something truly beautiful, but innovation and creativity are beyond us.’

  ‘Generally,’ Winthrop said. ‘Dione, perhaps because of her age or some quirk of fate, is possibly the least hidebound vampire I’ve ever seen. Others have remarked upon it, so it’s not simply my opinion.’

  ‘But I tend to prefer sticking to what I know. I use guns, but I prefer my katana. There are tactical advantages to the sword which I won’t deny, but guns are efficient methods of eliminating vampires, if you use the right ammo, and I go for my blade first. I cook from recipes I learned centuries ago, if I can get the right ingredients. I was very
pleased with the new armoured vests because they remind me of plated leather.’

  ‘Okay,’ Mike said, ‘so I provide the inspiration.’

  ‘Exactly. It’s why I like the Agreement, why I think it’s a good thing. It’s also, maybe, another reason it took too long tracking down Bingham. Maybe why he killed her, or one of the reasons. So stay alive, please.’

  ‘I was planning on it. Uh, did you run into Leanne last night?’

  Dione nodded. ‘She came in just as I was leaving.’

  ‘She was acting kind of odd this morning.’

  ‘In what way? I’m fairly sure she was convinced I had no designs on your body when I left.’

  ‘Well… I mean, it sounds like nothing when I say it, but she was really attentive, affectionate, and she said we should plan to do something together at the weekend. Uh, and then she suggested a few things which didn’t seem to involve leaving the bedroom.’

  ‘Perhaps,’ Winthrop said, ‘you should ease up on convincing her you’re homosexual, Dione.’

  ‘I might have overdone it a little,’ Dione agreed. ‘But try to get out of the bedroom, Mike.’

  ‘Yeah, well, we can–’

  ‘Showers are good and there’s something delightfully impromptu about the sofa in the lounge. I’d suggest something alfresco, but I don’t think you’re at that stage yet.’

  Mike groaned. ‘Please, I have a headache, so my brain needs all the blood it can get.’ Dione’s eyebrows went up. ‘I don’t want it rushing to my cheeks!’ Mike said very quickly.

  28th November.

  Leanne was in something of a hurry. ‘I’ll grab some breakfast when I get to the hospital,’ she said as she darted around the lounge, and Mike, making sure she had everything.

  ‘Uh-huh,’ Mike replied. She meant she would grab a cereal bar and coffee. And she had the nerve to lecture him on nutrition.

  ‘Oh, assuming we get off in time, Lisa suggested we go to the Black Candle tonight. Just her and us.’

  ‘She did?’

  ‘Yeah.’ In Mike’s opinion, Leanne was being a little too casual. ‘And I thought it might be good. I enjoyed it last time.’