Never Surrender

by Deanna Jewel

  Ahanu bent and laid a red blanket at her side. “I think this belongs to you.”

  Though she could only see his outline against the lighted opening, Kate knew a smile rested on Ahanu’s face. “Thank you.”

  Ahanu nodded and left the lean-to.

  Taima had already started eating his meal. Kate couldn’t see what her plate contained, but it smelled delicious. She quickly sank her teeth into the hot meat. A hard biscuit soaked what little juice remained on her stone plate.

  Minutes passed before Kate found the courage to ask him a question plaguing her. “How is it that you and Ahanu speak such good English?”

  He stared at her across the light beam.

  “My mother taught us before . . .” He paused, a long silence stretching between them. “. . . before she and my wife were killed three years ago by trappers...after they were used for the white men’s pleasures.”

  The sarcasm that laced his voice nearly cut Kate as deep as Aiyana’s knife would have. Taima rose and strode from the lean-to, dropping the exterior hide over the door as he left. It appeared curiosity had gotten her into trouble again.

  No wonder he hated her people. Yet when he touched her, it wasn’t always his hatred she felt. There had been genuine caring in his fingers as they’d brushed her cheek moments earlier. Had he been thinking of his wife then and how much he missed her?

  Kate wondered from whom Taima and his son had received their blue eyes. No whites lived among Taima’s people, so his father must also be Shoshone. She glanced toward the covered entrance. If his mother was white, had his father captured her years ago? She must have lived surrounded by hatred, yet bore a son. A cold shiver ran down Kate’s spine at the thought of how that might have come about.

  A chill crept into the dark interior, and she grabbed her blanket, wrapping it about her shoulders, hoping that perhaps Taima’s anger would keep him away tonight. She stretched out on the thick fur hide and flexed her toes beneath the covers. Achy muscles occupied her mind until she relaxed enough to feel warmth seep into her body.

  She wondered about Taima’s wife. Obviously, he’d loved her very much if he hadn’t been with a woman since her death, yet he’d allowed her to assume he’d taken many women. Guilt flooded her over the comment she’d made to him earlier. Three years is a long time for a man, Kate mused. Perhaps he was interested in a woman among his people.

  Suddenly, Kate’s eyes widened and she sat up. Aiyana’s words tumbled through her mind.

  She will replace my sister as your wife!

  My God, now what would happen? Aiyana’s comment was likely the very reason she sat here in Taima’s lean-to. She listened for noise outside. Taima probably slept before the door so she couldn’t escape. But only the distant howl of a coyote penetrated the hides of the lean-to.

  She slumped back, allowing sleep to overcome her anxiety of the night ahead, hoping her dreams wouldn’t replay her daytime fears.

  * * * * *

  Morning sunshine glared at Kate when she threw back the hide and stepped from the lean-to. She shaded her eyes and looked about. Daily chores occupied Taima’s people, but he was nowhere in sight. She released the nervous breath she held, anticipating a confrontation with him. The man constantly kept her nerves on edge.

  She wished for a hot bath to soothe her nerves and wash away four-day’s worth of grime, along with the odor. Scrunching her nose at the smell, Kate couldn’t remember ever feeling so filthy. Even cold water from the stream would feel good right now.

  Kate halted.

  Her headache throbbed again. It seemed to happen whenever she thought of her personal life. She had to quit thinking of home. The chances of ever going back there were getting slimmer. She glanced around at the snow-capped mountains beyond their valley, but saw nothing familiar.

  Kate closed her eyes and gently massaged her temples, willing herself back to where she came from. When would all this end? Beyond the blackness of her mind, a soothing shower appeared with rising steam and a brass showerhead. A memory of hot water cascading over her shoulders made Kate moan aloud, bringing her back to reality among Taima’s people. The children’s laughter sounded behind her as they played, and she reopened her eyes.

  If she had indeed traveled back in time, in what century had she landed in? And how on earth would she ever return? She wouldn’t survive stuck in this time period.

  Hopeless, Kate shook off the uncertainty. She strode to the water’s edge and washed her face and hands. Even a simple bar of soap would help. Maybe tonight Taima would have enough heart to allow her bathing time...after dark. She stood, flicking the cool water from her fingertips. The clean morning air did much to revive her spirits as she stretched and breathed in new energy.

  An eagle soared over the treetops before a blue background. Kate longed for his freedom as she watched the graceful bird with outstretched wings glide through the air.

  Wanting freedom and getting it were not options open to her at this moment. She should get back and straighten the hides and blanket in Taima’s lean-to. Turning on her heel, Kate ran into Aiyana, nearly knocking the other woman from her feet. Now a knife would likely be pulled on her for her clumsiness.

  Kate stepped back. “Aiyana, I’m sorry.”

  Annoyance slowly appeared on Aiyana’s finely sculptured face, and she narrowed her dark eyes. “I am to instruct you in your daily duties. Follow me.”

  Kate followed Aiyana back to her lean-to. Perhaps having something to do would help pass the time. She chopped nuts and crushed berries with a stone pedestal, placing them in stiff, hide-pouches for the evening meal. Aiyana showed her how to make biscuits from baked roots that had been ground and mixed with water and berries for flavor.

  Again, Kate thought of the conveniences in her own time that made life so much easier; electricity, for starters. Then they could plug in a food processor and have all this done in three minutes.

  As Kate helped, she glanced around their camp. “Where is Taima?”

  Aiyana stopped crushing her roots to stare at her. “Why do you care?”

  Kate didn’t answer, only looked at her.

  Aiyana shrugged her shoulders. “He and Ahanu will be gone for a few days. Perhaps he plans to trade you to the Crow.”

  Kate’s stomach flipped as a breath caught in her throat. Though she disliked Taima, she’d come to assume he’d at least allow her to live here with his people. Truly worried, she returned her attention to the roots in her hands, but she knew that Aiyana still watched her.

  Without looking up, Kate said, “I’m sorry those trappers killed your sister.”

  “White eyes always think to invade our lands, destroying our buffalo only for the hides...and to use our women for their pleasures,” Aiyana snapped.

  Kate looked up. How dare she! “Not all of us are like that.”

  Aiyana eyes widened and her lips curled into a sneer. “You wouldn’t kill Taima if you had the chance?”

  “Of course not; I detest being held captive by him, but I could never kill him.”

  “Then you do have feelings for him. Good, taking my sister’s place as his wife will be easier for you.” As though it was fact, Aiyana appeared satisfied, returning her gaze to her ministrations and preparing her roots.

  Kate gasped at her audacity. “I’ll do no such thing! I would rather die before being forced to be his wife.”

  Through narrowed eyes, Aiyana said in a slow, deliberate voice, “That could be arranged. Perhaps we can offer you to the spirit gods when we make our journey next week.” She paused. “I will talk with Taima.” Aiyana spoke this last comment more to herself than to Kate.

  Taunting Aiyana wasn’t wise, so Kate decided it best to keep her mouth shut and do her chores.

  Kate glanced up at Aiyana, a beautiful, bronze complexion smoothed across prominent cheekbones and a straight nose. She could appear friendly, or suddenly scathing, depending on her mood.

  Her sister must have been beautiful if she had looked anythi
ng like Aiyana. Kate wondered if Taima had treated Witashnah tenderly. Was it even possible for him to be tender? She caught herself wondering what type of woman attracted him. Blinking, she attempted to avert any further musing and concentrated on the chores before her.

  After the noon meal, Kate stood before an area where hides were being dried. Thick animal thighbones lay nearby, sharpened at the wide end near the joint. She knelt next to a hide with the bone Aiyana had given her, and after watching the other woman, proceeded to scrape the remaining membranes, hair, and fleshy tissue from the hide. She sprinkled water onto the area to soften the scraping.

  Kate scrunched her nose at the putrid odor emanating from the tanning process. Aiyana sat a stone bowl between them containing an equally smelly, dark, steaming substance. She watched as Aiyana ladled the thick liquid onto the hide and spread it around with her fingers, kneading it into the skin.

  Aiyana looked at Kate. “This helps soften the hides and makes them flexible and waterproof.”

  “It smells disgusting. What is it?”

  “We use white fat from the deer or buffalo, its liver, and two brains.”

  Kate’s stomach nearly erupted and her throat constricted just watching Aiyana’s fingers knead the slime.

  Aiyana continued. “These are cooked over the fire, then applied to the hides for softening. Nothing in the animal is wasted.” Spoonfuls were ladled onto Kate’s hide, but she couldn’t bring herself to touch it.

  “Rub it in,” Aiyana prodded, a sneer curving her lips.

  Kate closed her eyes and placed her hands in the liquid. Warm, slimy chunks moved beneath her fingers, causing her to gag. Touching without seeing was worse, she decided, and snapped open her eyes. “How can this possibly soften anything?”

  “The dress you wear was made in the same way,” Aiyana commented, making Kate look down at the beautiful work, its softness caressing her body.

  “But how does it soften? This hide is so coarse and stiff.”

  “We don’t question why, only trust in the ways the spirits have directed us.” Aiyana concentrated on the work before her, so Kate went about spreading the dark substance. She swallowed several times, hoping she wouldn’t embarrass herself further by getting sick.

  Hours later, Kate could barely move her arms and the tenderness in her fingertips made them too sensitive to touch the hides anymore. After placing the softened hides on branches over a smoking fire, Aiyana led her down to the stream to finally bathe.

  The river curved where they stopped near a dense copse of pine trees and the water appeared deeper. Kate stripped off her dress and moccasins, anxious to be in the water. She quickly waded knee-deep before realizing how cold it was and she screeched.

  Soft laughter came from the shore. Kate turned around. Aiyana also prepared for bathing, but Kate’s rushing into the cold stream must have looked awfully silly.

  “You will get used to it, but it takes time.”

  Kate doubted it. Gooseflesh rose on her body. Yet she relished bathing after going so many days without, even though the cold water chilled her to the bone. She trickled water over her limbs. The handful of sand she scrubbed her skin with invigorated her, renewing her stamina, making her forget how tired the day’s chores had made her. Kate rinsed her long hair, then stepped ashore before Aiyana was finished and wrapped in her blanket to dry herself.

  After drying, Kate pulled a few sagebrush leaves from the bush, crushed them and rubbed the leaves over her arms and shoulders, then the rest of her body. She inhaled the aromatic scent of the leaves, then slipped on the soft buckskin dress. Using a corner of the blanket, she fluffed and dried her hair.

  Aiyana did the same.

  She followed Aiyana back to the lean-to and prepared for bed. Aiyana’s children and Kelee slept on the opposite side with their mother, while Kate lay alone across from them. Aiyana wouldn’t possibly try to kill her with the children present. Kate tried to rationalize. Then again, they were with her the other day when she pulled the knife. She didn’t want to fall asleep and allow Aiyana another opportunity to catch her unaware.

  * * * * *

  Two days later, as Kate sat at the fire preparing the noon meal with Aiyana, an older warrior walked toward them. Kate glanced up from the sizzling fish and met the man’s dark gaze as he joined her and Aiyana. Confidence exuded from his stature, tall and proud, yet the friendliness in his warm eyes when he smiled made her want to speak with him.

  To her surprise, he stopped beside her. Aiyana hurried over. She nervously glanced from the man to Kate, then lowered her eyes, and reverently said, “Sakima, it is good to see you.”

  “Might I talk with Kate alone?” he asked Aiyana, then met Kate’s gaze. “Would you walk with me?”

  Kate glanced at Aiyana, not sure if she should leave, but Aiyana’s attention centered on Sakima.

  “Taima will not like hearing of this,” Aiyana stated.

  Sakima gently smiled. “How will he find out?” Without waiting for an answer, he motioned for Kate to join him.

  Unsure of what Aiyana referred to, Kate hesitantly joined the older warrior. She kept pace with his long strides as he walked away from the encampment to follow the river. Moments of silence passed. She glanced at him several times as they walked, but waited for him to speak first. Who was Sakima? She’d seen the respect Taima’s people showed when they passed him. Had he been their leader before Taima?

  Near the river’s edge, Sakima stopped. “Sit with me.” He sat cross-legged, allowing time for her to join him. “I realize this is not where you want to be,” he said in a quiet voice. “But know this...you were meant to be here. I have seen it in my visions.”

  Kate clenched her teeth as she grasped the soft buckskin of her dress in her fisted fingers. “Taima is the reason I’m here, yet we despise each other. Why didn’t he just leave me be?”

  She tried to rise, but Sakima touched her shoulder. “It was the interference of the Great Spirit. In my visions, the eagles brought you from beyond the sky, beyond our time, and told me you have knowledge of the future.”

  Sakima’s dark eyes gazed into hers as if attempting to read her mind, to glean information she didn’t want to share, but he’d peaked her curiosity. “Are your visions always right?”

  “Eventually all predictions come to be, as will this one.”

  Kate wrung her hands in her lap. “But you haven’t told me what will happen, or why I’m here.”

  “You are here to heal our people.”

  Frustrated that he talked in circles, she sighed and gazed at the clouds. Though the sun shone, none of its warmth touched her. “When I have no knowledge of healing powers, how will this be possible?” She looked back at the older warrior. Years of wisdom and concern were etched into his handsome features and around his eyes. There was a familiarity she couldn’t put her finger on.

  “I cannot explain, but you will remain here with us...and not as an enemy.”

  Kate rounded her eyes. He must have overheard Aiyana’s comment the other day about becoming Taima’s wife in her sister’s place. “And what does Taima know of this? What role will he play in my remaining here? Am I to surrender to whatever he wants?”

  “Taima is stubborn. He’s a lot like his mother.” At that, Sakima stared across the river toward the snow-capped mountains.

  “You knew his parents?” she asked, not understanding the faraway look in Sakima’s eyes.

  Silent moments passed.

  “His mother came to us much the same as you, by being captured.”

  “Did she also hate the man who captured her?”

  He nodded slowly and smiled as he continued to gaze at the mountains. “Yes, very much so; she had no family to return to, yet fought against us. Eventually she accepted us as her family.” Sakima looked at Kate with sincerity. “I hope you come to accept us as family. There are those of us who need your help to heal the past.”

  How could she possibly help? This man talked in circles. Besides, she wanted
to leave and return to her own time. “Who might those people be?” she asked.

  Chapter Seven

  Kate waited patiently for Sakima to answer her question. Who was it that needed her help to forget the past?

  “Taima, for one,” Sakima replied, raising an eyebrow.

  She laughed. “How will that be possible? We hate each other. We don’t talk much, but when we do, our words cut like weapons.”

  “Sometimes...that is how a friendship starts...in anger. Taima’s past influences his present,” Sakima said, knotting a blade of grass between his thumb and forefinger.

  Kate brushed her hair away from her face. “I realize he must have loved his wife and mother very much. Yet I think he blames me for the wrong done to them because the trappers were white.”

  “And did you not, at one time, blame Taima for the scalping of those in the wagons?”

  She turned her attention to the purling river, the water flowing over the rocks as Sakima’s words echoed back at her. How could he possibly know this? Had Taima told this man everything? She had blamed Taima, just as he had her.

  “Do you know Taima well?” She met the older man’s gaze.

  Sakima looked at her and drew his eyebrows together. “Can you not see it? Although he did get his blue eyes from his mother.”

  She searched his expression, unsure what she looked for. His straight nose, high cheek bones and sculptured jaw line appeared familiar, yet she couldn’t place the older man’s face. Kate shook her head.

  Sakima’s next words came slowly. “He is my son.”

  Kate’s breath caught in her throat. An image of Taima formed in her mind. The same straight nose and sculptured jaw line, the same gestures, the same confident stride. Except for the striking blue eyes, Taima was a younger version of the proud warrior beside her. Pieces of the puzzle began falling into place. As the group’s peace-keeper and shaman, Sakima was trying to convey his message to her through explanations of his visions.

  Suddenly it all made sense to her!