Caveman

by Andrian, V.

  She presses her lips together and nods. Then she pulls me in for a hug that surprises me enough for a sob to escape my lips. Without another word, we break apart and I hurry to my car, ready to never see the people that remind me of the man that will always hold my heart.

  Chapter Twelve

  Layla is patting my hair as I cry with my head in her lap. I just told her everything that went down between me and Damon and then his family and I try my hardest to keep quiet. She just fed and put to sleep the three-days-old Elijah. Dean is sitting at the other end of the couch with my feet on his lap, rubbing a hand on my shin and another on my back.

  “I’ve never felt so much pain in my life and I don’t know if I can handle it. I need to see him. I need to know that he’s okay. I need him to hold me in his arms again.”

  “Ssh, honey,” Layla coos. “I know it’s hard but there’s nothing you can do. You already did everything you could, even suggest staying with him – which I need to kill you for later by the way. Don’t forget that you knew everything about him long before you met him, which gave you the ground for you to fall so fast. But he obviously doesn’t feel that way for you, Cassie.”

  “Babe, I don’t think that’s the right thing to say right now,” Dean says skeptically.

  “I’m just saying so she’ll know there’s no point in crying for a man that doesn’t feel the same way about her. If he did, do you think he would really have been able to let her go?”

  “I think that any man would have to be a complete asshole to let go of Cassie,” Dean says firmly. “Which means the guy is an asshole since he did let her go.”

  “Now that is definitely not the right thing to say, jackass,” Layla says angrily.

  It’s weird but their argument calms me down even though they’re both saying things I don’t want to hear. I close my eyes, feeling my tears subside and Damon’s image immediately fills my mind’s eye. The way he looked naked under the waterfall or the way he stalked towards me in the hot spring. It all feels like it was from a dream and yet the feelings he caused me are still so potent in me.

  “Honey, you can’t do this,” Layla says to me softly. “You need to move on. No matter what you feel about him, you need to let it go because there’s nothing you can do about it. He’s not coming back and he doesn’t want you to go to him either. Just let it go, sweety. You need to forget about him.”

  “Never,” I say groggily. “I’ll try to move on but I will never forget about him.”

  “Get your butt in gear, sick person. I’m taking you out shopping and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

  I laugh as I bend down to shove my feet in my snickers. For the last two weeks or so I’ve been puking my guts nearly every night. I’ve put off my birth control shot until I felt better and yesterday I finally went to the doctor to give some blood for examination. Layla is afraid that I might have caught a nasty bug out in the wilderness that is slowly turning me to a werewolf or something. I told her that, if I had indeed caught a bug out there, the doctors at McCarthy would have found it when they did their own tests and I wouldn’t be suffering its effects nearly a month after getting infected. Of course, I add, you never know with the werewolf bug so I might as well throw in some more blood tests just to be safe. I need to know if I’m allergic to wolfsbane from now on.

  “Sorry, sweetie, but there is. I’m heading to the doctor’s for my shot, which I’ve delayed for two weeks. But I can meet you after if you’re not in a hurry.”

  She huffs. “I’m not in a hurry. I just don’t know for how long the baby will be sleeping. Forget about the shopping therapy and come over if you’re feeling better. I doubt whatever you have is contagious.”

  “Alright. But you should keep Elijah away from me just in case. And no kisses and stuff. In fact, I’ll pick up a surgical mask on my way to you.”

  “Fine, whatever. And why are you getting that shot anyway? It’s not like you’re having any sex these days.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate that,” I say in mock-annoyance. Truth is I’m nowhere near ready to date or be with anyone sexually. I’m not nearly even close to moving on from Damon. “I’ll see you after my shot!” The call-waiting tone beeps in my ear. “Gotta go, Layla. I have another call waiting. I’ll call you when I’ll be on my way.”

  As soon as she says goodbye, I pick up the other line. “Hello?”

  “Miss Hale, this is Anne from Dr. Sanchez’s office, calling for your blood-test results.”

  “Oh, hi. Thanks for calling back so soon. So what’s the verdict? Is it something contagious? Because I seriously hope I get to hug my godson today!”

  She laughs softly. “Well, hug away. Your condition is definitely not contagious, though it will take a while for you to get rid of it. Oh, say about seven to eight months?”

  I straighten up and stare at the closed door in front of me. “Excuse me?”

  I listen to her explanation and only have a moment to thank her again before I hang up and fly to the bathroom to empty the cup of coffee and slice of toast I just had for breakfast.

  “Hello, Cassandra. Good to see you again. Back for your shot?” Dr. Abney checks her computer and lifts an eyebrow. “You’re about two weeks later. Had any problems?”

  “You could say that,” I tell her blankly and then throw out, “I’m pregnant.”

  Dr. Abney’s eyes come up to look at me with raised eyebrows. “Pregnant? I see. Then I guess you’re not here for a shot then,” she adds with a bright smile.

  “Last time I had sex was two weeks before my scheduled shot, Dr. Abney. Two weeks before the effects of the previous one were supposed to end. How is that possible?”

  She frowns and removes her glasses, walking slowly towards me in thought. “Well, there is always 1% chance that the shot isn’t effective. The man’s sperm would have to be exceptionally strong and maybe your body had been weak. Were you under any antibiotics during the time?”

  A crazed laughter escapes me and I explain my situation during the time I was with Damon. Dr. Abney’s expression turns soft when she sees the tears that sneak out of my eyes as I do.

  “Cassandra, you have options. You don’t have to keep the baby if—”

  “No,” I cut her off a little harshly. “I’m not dropping my baby.” I put my hands over my lower belly in an unnecessary protective move. “I’m keeping it.”

  She nods and gives me an encouraging smile. “Well, then, there’s no reason for us to look further into the how but rather on what you do now. Let me do some blood-tests of my own and make sure everything is as it should be. I’ll give you some prenatal vitamins and suggest some books you can read to give you an idea of what you’ll be going through. I assure you that I’ll be with you every step of the way and you can literally call me any time at all.”

  “What the hell took you so long?” Layla gripes in a whisper when she opens the door for me. I don’t walk in though just stare at her back as she starts towards the living room, assuming I’m following right behind her. When she realizes I’m not, she turns and looks at me in confusion. “Are you coming in?”

  I swallow and shake my head. It’s all I can do.

  “Cass, what is it?” she asks in alarm. “Honey, you’re scaring me.”

  “I’m pregnant,” I blurt out and feel my chin starting to tremble with my admission.

  Layla’s mouth drops open and then the tears start along with the hard, body-shaking sobs and I can’t stop them. She wraps me in her arms and pulls me to the couch were I once again drop and cry on her lap until my throat is raw and my eyes are swollen.

  I don’t know when I fell asleep but I can feel warm arms surrounding me and a hard chest under my cheek. For a moment I think it’s Damon and my heart flutters anxiously but then I remember where I am and realize it’s Dean that’s patting my hair softly.

  “I don’t care what you’re saying,” Layla says in an angry whisper. “There’s no way she’s going through this alone. As soon as the baby is asle
ep, I’m calling that assholey family and telling them that she’s carrying Damon’s child. They need to help with the financial part.”

  “Are you even listening to what you’re saying?” Dean argues in an equal tone. “This is her decision to make, Layla and I doubt she would want them to know. I remember her clearly telling us that she despises them for being the reason Damon left in the first place. Do you really think she would want anything from them?”

  “And that’s exactly why I will call them and not Cass. She will say everything you just said and she’ll insist on having this baby without any help. You know how hard it is to have a baby as a single parent. Can you imagine what it would be like for me if I didn’t have you?”

  “Maybe I can but that doesn’t change this is Cassie’s decision to make, babe.” Dean’s voice has grown softer. “Can you honestly tell me that, were in her shoes, you would want her to go behind your back and do something like that? That you would ever forgive her?” Layla doesn’t answer and Dean goes on. “She won’t be alone, Layla. She’ll have us. There’s no way we are ever going to let her do this alone.”

  “No, there’s not,” she agrees softly. “I just can’t think how she’s feeling right now. I asked you if you can imagine what it would be like but I don’t think I can. Will she be scared? Sad? Bitter? I don’t want her to be any of that, Dean.”

  “I’ll be okay,” I say groggily and clear my throat. Dean’s arms tighten around me and I feel his lips on the top of my head. “As you said, I’ll have you two.” I sit up and look at my best friend’s concerned face. “I want this baby, Layla. I know it sounds pathetic and corny but it’s all I have from him. And if I can’t have him with me, then you two are all I need. Not some strangers and definitely not for their money. Maybe I’ll one day tell them. Maybe I’ll even try to send a letter to Damon and let him know but right now, I just want the time to get used to the idea. Can you please accept that and stand by me?”

  “Of course I can, sweetie,” she says with tears in her eyes. “And I’m going to be the best aunt and godmother there is. Even better than you.”

  I laugh. “Alright. Even though you’re being presumptuous I’m going to let you get away with it. All three of us know I was always going to choose you for my baby’s godparents.”

  “We love you, sweetheart,” Dean says in a seldom show of outright affection. “We’ll be here for you every step of the way.”

  “Damn,” Layla mumbles as she wipes under her eyes. “I was actually hoping you would be turning into a werewolf. It would have been so awesome if my best friend was one. I guess we can rule that option out, huh?”

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Cass, where the fuck are you? This is the third time I’ve called. I was about to call Dean and tell him to check on you.”

  “Layla, I was in the bathtub. Seriously, can’t a woman have a bath without you filing a missing person’s report?”

  “That’s my niece and goddaughter you’re carrying in that belly, young lady. I don’t care what you’re saying. I want hourly reports on your wellbeing.”

  “Or you can put cameras in my house to check me without having to call all the time.”

  “Oh, don’t worry, I checked. It seems I’m not allowed to do that. Something about violation of your rights and shit.”

  “Jesus, you’re a menace.”

  “Thanks! You didn’t mention me insinuating the baby is a girl.”

  I laugh. “Well, I guessed yours correctly so I’ll humor you. I’m not keeping it a secret anyway. We’ll know when I reach my twentieth week.”

  “You have an appointment for a sonogram tomorrow, right? You want me to come?”

  “Yeah but no. I can go alone. I know Dean is working tomorrow and you can’t exactly bring my godson without him raising hell.”

  “Tell me about it,” she says with a groan. “But I can think of something if you want me with you.”

  My doorbell rings. “Seriously?” I yell at her.

  “What? I was just saying it’s okay if you want me with you.”

  I stomp towards the door. “Layla, I’m serious. If I pull that door open and it’s you, I’m going to—”

  I pull the door open and freeze.

  “What door? I’m not at your door. Is someone there?”

  “Damon…” I whisper as I lock my eyes with the grayish-green depths of his.

  And then everything turns black.

  I come to my senses slowly and blink my eyes open. Am I dreaming? How is it possibly Damon is really here? Is it really him? He has shaved, only a two-day’s worth of stubble is covering his jaw but there’s no mistaking those beautiful eyes that are anxiously scanning my face. It has to be him. Either that or it’s the most vivid fantasy I’ve ever had.

  “Damon?” I croak.

  “Cassandra,” he whispers and I realize my heart is beating frantically. It really is him. This is real.

  I sit up as if there were springs under my back and loop my arms around his neck. “Oh my God, you’re really here.” Tears fill my eyes and fall on my cheeks rapidly but for the first time in months they are tears of joy.

  He brings his own arms up and wraps them around me, smoothing his hands over my back in soothing circles. “I really am, baby. I really am.” There’s a tremble in his voice, a hesitance I’ve never heard before and I pull back to look at him.

  My God, he’s so gorgeous. I feel like my memory of him was all wrong now that I see him again. I run my hands over his stubble, feeling the prickly hair scratching my palms and bringing goose bumps all over my body. My fingertips trace every inch of his face, from his cheekbones down to his chin, across his jawline and up his dark eyebrows and his forehead. His eyes drift closed and he is breathing hard.

  “How?” I whisper and his eyes pop open. “How are you here?”

  His hands leave my back and come up to cup my face. “Are you really asking me that?” He runs his thumbs over my cheeks, wiping away the loose tears. “For you, Cassandra. For you.”

  A sob escapes me and then his mouth is on mine and I’m opening for him with a loud sigh. Or maybe it’s a moan, I don’t really know. I don’t because I’m feeling everything at once. His tongue thrusting in my mouth, his lips bruising mine, his hands gripping me tightly. His teeth scraping my lips and his strong body pressing into me as he pushes me to the couch and I’m so overwhelmed I want to cry out. But I can’t because I don’t want to stop. I don’t ever want to stop so I moan into his mouth, demanding more.

  He groans and pushes me back. His hands move from my face and come to the belt of my bathrobe and tug. I feel the cool air grazing my skin and then I lose his mouth as he starts trailing kisses down my chin, my neck, my chest. His mouth latches onto one of my nipples and I finally cry out as I arch my back to seek more. He runs his tongue over my other nipple and then he’s moving lower and lower until his mouth founds my sensitive nub and scrapes it with his teeth.

  I explode. I scream his name as I climax, the most wonderful sensation I’ve felt in months. I’m floating up with the clouds and ripples of ecstasy are smacking my body again and again until I fall limply back down to earth. Rustle of clothes, a zipper sliding down and then he’s pushing inside me and I whimper. God, I’m so full. So perfect right now. Please don’t let it end.

  “Fuck, Cassandra,” he grits out before bringing his lips to rest on mine. “Fuck, baby, you feel so amazing. So tight.” He starts thrusting hard in small movements but then jerks to a stop and I can tell he’s holding back. I can tell by the way he’s clenching his teeth and holding his eyes tightly closed. I can tell by the sweat trickling down his temple. I can tell by the way his hand is gripping the edge of the couch next to my hip.

  I bring my legs up and wrap them around his waist, lifting my hips up slightly and he hisses in a breath.

  “Stop, baby, stop. Please give me a second.”

  “No,” I whisper as I use my arms around his neck to lift the upper part of my body and kiss him. �
��I want you now. I want all of you. Let go.”

  His control snaps right in front of my eyes and his eyes open to lock with mine. He’s holding my gaze as his thrusts turn faster and harder, building the tension inside me fast. When he throws his head back and roars as he comes, I’m hit with a second orgasm, smaller in duration but equally strong as the first one. He falls on me and I feel his hard chest moving rapidly with his exerted breathing as my hands move softly over his back.

  When our breathing is once again calmer and he lifts off me, I’m surprised to see his eyes rimmed with red. My stomach clenches at the thought that I may have gotten this all wrong. Maybe he’s not here to stay. Maybe he’s not here to be with me.

  He brings his lips to mine and runs his fingertips down the side of my face. “I shouldn’t have lost control. I came to talk and I…” He suddenly pushes up further, dislodging himself from my body and his face takes a pained expression. I’m feeling so empty all of a sudden and I can’t help the shiver that runs through me. “Are you okay? Are you cold?”

  I shake my head and grab the edges of my bathrobe, covering my body. “No. Not cold. And don’t apologize. I should be the one apologizing. I was the one to…” I gesture between us as I trail off. Did I initiate things? Or did he? I honestly can’t remember. I clear my throat. “When… How long have you been in DC?”

  He tucks himself in his pants and sits properly on the other end of the couch as I sit up and redo the tie of my bathrobe. “Less than a day.” He clears his throat and looks down at his hands. “My flight landed at noon. I went by my old house – my brother’s house now – first.”

  I look up at him in surprise. “You went there on your own?”

  His lips tilt up at the corners in a small smirk. “I wasn’t exactly going to war, baby. I was just facing my past.”

  I smile and feel my insides soften a bit. He called me baby. That must mean something, right? “Still. I would have come with you if you wanted me to. For moral support.”