A Lesson in Trust [A Dragon's Growl 8] (Siren Publishing Everlasting Classic ManLove)

by Marcy Jacks

  But then he had problems even bigger than that on his plate. He needed to know what Lucian thought of him. He needed to apologize. For all Sorin knew, Lucian came back for him only because they were still connected through their mating and he hadn’t wanted to leave Sorin back at Varrick’s mansion.

  Had it not been for their connection that very well could have been the case.

  He remembered Lucian calling him baby, and sweetie a couple of times, but how much did that mean when Sorin had been in such a horrible state? Those words could have just tumbled out of his mouth from guilt and habit.

  It made him sad to think about something like that. He didn’t want his mate to hate him, or to think badly of him, but Sorin couldn’t blame Lucian if he did, either.

  Sorin had known that keeping Lucian safe would depend on his ability to make Lucian believe he didn’t love him. If he had turned out to be a little better at that than even he would have thought, then it was all for the best, right?

  He had to get out of this bathroom. He had way too much quiet time to reflect in here, and it was freaking him out.

  When Sorin opened the door, ready to crawl back into bed and hopefully sleep some more so he wouldn’t have to think about any of this, he stopped short at the sight of Lucian standing right there.

  Chapter Eleven

  He was right there. He was standing, awake. Coherent.

  Lucian couldn’t believe his eyes. Two weeks of seeing his mate come in and out of consciousness, of not knowing where he was and babbling, crying out from the pain of his wounds, just to be standing there as if everything was normal.

  As if he was all right.

  Sorin’s face twisted painfully. He backed up a step. “Lucian, I—”

  Lucian grabbed him, yanking his mate forward and crushing the man to his chest, holding him tight because he had to. Especially after two weeks of handling him with the utmost care or watching him through the highs of his painkillers.

  Seeing his mate like that, hearing him rambling while coming in and out of consciousness, had broken Lucian’s heart one too many damned times for him to be comfortable with.

  He needed a hug.

  Sorin held him back after a moment of confusion, and then Lucian felt the man’s tears, felt his trembling shoulders and soft cries as they clutched at each other.

  “I’m sorry!” Sorin cried.

  Lucian shook his head. “God, stop saying that. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. The things I said to you…”

  That tore him up the worst of anything else. His mate had been trying to protect him, trying to keep Van and Varrick from outright killing him. Of course he had to pretend all that stuff. Of course he had to say and do things he didn’t want to do.

  Lucian had called him those horrible things, said those terrible things.

  Then nearly left him to die in the worst possible way.

  “I’m so fucking sorry. I love you so damned much.”

  Sorin shook his head, pulling back. “No, you don’t understand. I had to, but I need to explain.”

  “There’s nothing to explain. You already told me everything.”

  Sorin blinked, his eyes still swimming, but now he looked confused. Confused and disbelieving.

  “No, I need to tell you now. I didn’t want to whip your back, and I didn’t mean any of those things I said. I tried to not let them starve you. I tried—”

  “I know,” Lucian said gently, needing to get his mate’s attention. “Look at me. I know. Okay? I promise I know. You’ve been in and out of consciousness since you got here. The pain medication made you high as a kite. You told me everything. Multiple times.”

  “I did?”

  Lucian nodded, his own eyes burning now. “Yeah, you did. Broke my damned heart each and every time you did.”

  It was breaking his heart now. “We got a couple of the omegas out of there. The one with no tail, do you remember him?”

  Sorin seemed to think back on it. “Yeah?”

  Then a rush of panic took over his expression. “I wasn’t trying to scare him. I just had to make sure he fed you.”

  “I know, I know,” Lucian said. He let his hands slide up and down Sorin’s arms. He needed to touch the man everywhere. “He said you’d threatened to kill him if he didn’t make sure I was fed, and if he told me you were the one sending the food. I knew what it meant the second he told us that. I know you wouldn’t have done anything.”

  Sorin gripped Lucian’s shirt in a tight fist. He clenched his eyes shut, as though trying desperately to not cry. “I didn’t mean any of it.”

  Lucian kissed his mate quickly on the mouth, because he couldn’t hold it back anymore. He kissed his mate in what felt more like a crushing together of mouths, and then held him tight.

  “I love you.”

  Lucian’s heart clenched. He’d wanted to hear those words, while Sorin was awake and aware, for what felt like an eternity. Two of the longest weeks of his life. More painful than even the lashing Sorin had been forced to give him.

  “I love you, too. So much.”

  Every time Sorin opened his eyes and saw him there, he immediately went into a long, drawn-out explanation of why he’d done what he’d done, how sorry he was, how he didn’t mean it. The worst part was that, no matter how many times Lucian forgave him and told him it was all right, that he understood, Sorin never seemed capable of remembering he’d been forgiven. He slurred his words a lot, to the point where Lucian couldn’t always understand what he’d been saying, and sometimes he seemed to forget he’d been in the middle of explaining himself at all, and he’d start over.

  Rambling, raving, desperate for Lucian to not leave him.

  What little Lucian did understand, he got. His mate had been protecting him. He’d been put in a position that Lucian certainly didn’t think he would be able to maintain, and Lucian had zero faith in him.

  He’d left Sorin behind in that place. Lucian had fallen right into the trap Van had set up. He’d left his mate behind to be tortured and nearly killed.

  “I’ve been waiting for you to wake up, to really wake up, for the longest time. God, I’m so glad you’re all right, that you’re here.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Lucian clenched his eyes shut. This was going to be a pain he wouldn’t be able to save his mate from for a long time. This was going to follow them, this guilt they both carried. The only thing Lucian could do was be there for his mate.

  “Forgive me,” Lucian begged.

  Sorin shook his head. “There’s nothing—”

  “Yes there is.” Lucian couldn’t get this through Sorin’s head fast enough. “Even if you don’t think there’s anything that needs forgiving. Do it anyway. I need to hear it.”

  He did. God, he desperately needed to hear it.

  “I do,” Sorin said softly. “Do…do you…”

  “Of course I do. There’s nothing to forgive. I’m telling it to you because I know you want to hear it. I forgive you even though you didn’t do a damned thing wrong.”

  Sorin clenched his eyes shut, as though he were in real pain. Lucian wiped the man’s tears away with his thumbs. He leaned down, kissing him softly on the mouth.

  A sweeter, gentler kiss than the desperate thing he’d just given to the man.

  “I’m so glad you’re here with me.”

  “What happened?” Sorin asked, wiping his eyes but unable to dry them. “How did you…when did you come back?”

  There was so much in that simple question. Lucian was going to have a lot of explaining to do, the new people in the house, what happened to make Lucian want to go back for him, all of it.

  “I couldn’t leave you behind. I almost did. God, I hate that so much. I hate myself for almost leaving you there.”

  “Don’t hate yourself,” Sorin said. “Please don’t hate yourself. Just…stay here with me?”

  Lucian held his mate tighter, locking his arms around Sorin and holding him as if Sorin would disappear if he l
et the man go. “I’ll never leave your side ever again.”

  And he meant it.

  THE END

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