by Lila Rose
He’d stumbled over some words, but what he said was Knife through and through. A fuckin’ flirt no matter who he was doing it with. The room vibrated with a fist pounding into the table.
Dive stood and leaned over. “I saw enough of what you said. You say shit to my woman like that once more, you and I will have problems.”
Knife’s hands came up in front of him. “No harm, brother. No harm.”
“No harm my arse. Where’d you learn to sign anyway?”
A question I wanted to know also.
I suddenly realised as Dive and Knife spoke, they also fuckin’ signed what they were saying.
Shit and damn.
“Learned from the Internet.”
His words hit me in the gut. He’d learnt. For me.
And just when I knew I’d have to cut my love loose for the guy, he went and did shit like that. Fuckin’ prick was making it hard for me.
All eyes shifted to the door, so mine did also. Jason had poked his head in. “Hi.” He smiled. “There’s a lady here who wants to speak with Knife.”
Tension filled the room. Not sure why, could be just one of Knife’s hookups.
“You know who?” I saw Dodge ask our brother.
Knife shook his head, but got up from the table and started for the door. We followed behind, wanting to know what type of situation he was walkin’ into and seein’ if he needed our backs. Jason had led a woman into the common room. The woman, who was in her early forties, dressed in jeans and a blouse, looked our way. I could sense her fear. It came off her in waves. What probably didn’t help were the other brothers standing around glaring at her.
Mena stayed beside me to sign. I didn’t bother reading lips. I wanted to make sure I caught everything being said.
The woman licked her lips and said, “I’m after Jay Conger. My name is Sana.”
“That’s me.” Knife replied, stepping up front.
“C-can we have a private word?”
“Nope.” Knife shook his head, his arms crossing over his chest.
Her gaze swung around the room. “Please, it’s important.”
“Can’t see how it’s important when I don’t know you.”
Mena signed, and my eyes went wide as surprise flickered through them. She wasn’t one of his hookups, so her being there may have brought trouble in.
Her arms went around her middle, and she pulled in a breath through her nose. “I wasn’t asking for privacy for myself. I thought you’d want it when I tell you what I have to.”
“Don’t need it, so tell me.”
“Fine. You may remember my friend Stacey Montgomery?”
Knife shook his head.
Sana sighed, and it was a big one from the way her body moved. “She didn’t think you would either. Look, ah, she came to me the other day, told me you were a part of Hawks MC and that I had to find you to deliver something to you.”
His head jerked back. “What?”
“It’s, um, outside in the car.”
Knife sneered at the woman. “You think I’m that stupid? I don’t know you, lady. I ain’t following you outside. Just tell me now.”
Her eyes flicked around the room again. She may have noticed all brothers were on alert. Sana nodded. “Fine—”
I caught Mena’s hands moving, telling me Muff had just entered and said, “Yo, why is there a baby in the car outside?” Then Muff appeared in the doorway.
Knife tensed. Shit, the whole room did, and we looked to our brother, only his eyes were glued to the woman. I glanced at her in time to see her nod. “She’s your daughter.”
Knife shook his head. “Can’t be.”
Mena tapped my arm. I met her gaze, and she signed, Kalen’s sending me outside to the baby.
Nodding, I mouthed, “Go.” She quickly ran outta the room.
Knife took some steps towards the woman, his arm thrown out wide. I knew he was yelling something, but I couldn’t see his face any longer to know what it was and since he was in Sana’s face, I didn’t catch her response.
Dodge got close, placed a hand on Knife’s shoulder, but he shrugged it off.
The situation was one where I wished to Christ I knew what was going on. It sucked watching and missing shit when I couldn’t read the words on their lips when they faced away. Knew my brothers would fill me in, but it still goddamn sucked.
My eyes went to the doorway. Mena stood in it holding a girl, who looked not even one, in her arms. I flicked my eyes around to see the whole room had gone still, and all eyes were on the girl. Knife ran a hand through his hair once, twice. His body turned towards the doorway, the woman now forgotten.
Christ.
Anyone could see she was his girl. She had his eyes, his hair colour, and his mouth. I knew, hell, I knew, it was his mouth because I’d looked at it enough.
Knife had a child.
Slowly, he stepped over to Mena. She smiled up at him and I caught on her lips, “She just woke up, so she’s a little out of it.”
He nodded and stared down at his girl. Looking over his shoulder, he asked, “Her name?”
I shifted forward so I could see Sana’s lips clearly. “Nevaeh.”
Knife’s jaw clenched. He also knew, without a doubt, she was his. He glanced back to his girl. Mena asked, “Want to hold her?”
Knife’s shoulders lifted in a shrug, yet his hands came out in front of him. His girl looked at Knife like she wasn’t too sure of him. Still, she went into his arms. He turned with her, his eyes staying on her face as she studied her dad. She must have liked what she saw because she smiled and lifted her little fist to punch him on the jaw. Knife grinned, then chuckled, then blinked. His jaw clenched before he glanced back to Sana and I saw him ask, “What happened to the mother?”
Sana gave him a sad smile. Mena got close and signed what she said. “Stacey came to me in the middle of the night. I hadn’t seen her in months, and when I opened the door, she barged right in talking a mile a minute. Finally got her to slow down. She was ecstatic. The man she’d been after finally got a taste of her, but he didn’t like kids.”
“You’re fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” Knife bit out.
Sana shook her head. “No. She left Nevaeh with me stating I had to find you since you’re her daddy. Your name is on the birth certificate and all. Stacey said she never wanted kids because she knew her parents wouldn’t be happy about it. She’s always been a wild one, and her parents kicked her out for it. If they knew about Nevaeh… I’m not sure what they’ll do.”
“She left her girl for a piece of arse?” Knife asked.
“Yes.”
Disgust was written all over Knife’s face, his brows drawn and upper lip raised. “Fuck me.”
“She was sure you’d take Nevaeh in. I, um… I have three children of my own, so I can’t—”
“She’s mine.” Knife cut in. “But if you ever see Stacey again, tell her I better not see her fuckin’ face. It won’t be pretty if she even tries to pull shit for this girl. She gave me Nevaeh. She’s mine, and now I goddamn know about her, I won’t give her up for fuckin’ anything.”
Nevaeh took the break in him talking to smack him in the mouth again. Knife smiled and tipped his chin down. “Yeah, baby girl, you’re mine and Hawks. We take care of our own.”
Motherfuckin’ Christ.
I thought the man couldn’t get better. He just did.
Without too much thought, he’d claimed his girl, and I knew he’d fight through the thickness of hell to keep her. Only he wouldn’t be fighting alone.
We’d have his back.
Chapter Seven
Knife
Even as Sana left, leavin’ her number in case I needed help, and a bag of baby stuff, my new reality had yet to sink in. Still, I knew enough I wanted that little girl under Hawks protection. Especially if her slut of a mother took off for a man.
Fuckin’ twat.
As the brothers surrounded me and Nevaeh—a pretty name for a pretty girl—my mind was catching up with my act
ions.
I had a kid. A seven-month-old kid. A precious little girl.
I wanted to scream my joy to the room for the gorgeous little bundle. Then again, I also wanted to shit my pants in panic.
I had a kid.
A little girl.
What in the hell was I supposed to do with a baby?
Not sure if Dodge saw the fear on my face, but the room soon cleared except for Dodge, Mena, Dive, and Beast. “You doin’ okay, brother?” Dive asked, his lips twitching, and I wanted to punch him for it.
“I have a kid.” I stated the obvious and stared down at Nevaeh in my arms. She looked back and mumbled some baby talk before grabbing onto my ear and pulling it. “What am I supposed to do with you?” I asked her like she had all the answers I needed. Glancing up, I asked the people left, “What am I supposed to do with her?”
Mena stepped up, and as she spoke, her hands moved for Beast’s sake. “Just take care of her.”
My head tilted to the side. “How?”
She smiled. “I’ll help.”
Some of the fear settled inside of me. Mena was good with kids. Hell, so were all the old ladies. I knew they’d rally behind me, but fuck, she was my little girl. I’d accept the help, but I needed to do a lot of it on my own.
Where that grown-up thought had come from, I didn’t have a clue.
I ran from kids. They scared the fuck outta me, yet there I was claiming one and wanting to be the father she could look up to as she grew. I wanted to be a good dad.
Hell, I still acted like a teen myself, but all of a sudden, since I held Nevaeh in my arms… no, it was before that, since I saw my eyes and mouth on her cute little face, I wanted to grow up.
At least I wasn’t alone. If I fucked up, I’d have the old women advising me, and I knew, the brothers who understood kids because they had their own, would also help me out.
I wasn’t alone.
“You need a place of your own. Can’t have her around here all the time,” Dodge suggested.
“Shit, yeah, of course.” Wouldn’t want her growing up thinking it was normal to see club sluts going at it in the common room. Shit, they wore next to nothing for clothing. There was no way in hell Nevaeh would do the same. She’d be clothed top to toe, right down to her wrists.
But where would we go? I didn’t have a home to call my own. I enjoyed living in the clubhouse. I couldn’t go to anyone’s place that already had kids, it’d be too packed, and then Nevaeh wouldn’t get the attention she needed. I couldn’t ask Vicious and Nary to put me up. They were just startin’ out, and Dallas was out since his woman was moving our way soon and he’d choked up about the word relationship in the first place. Throwing a kid on his doorstep with me would probably send him into a mental hospital.
My eyes sought out one person I thought could help. “You mind if we crash at your place?” He saw it. He read the question from my lips, not even glancing to Mena’s hands.
But shit, as soon as I asked, I knew I should’a thought it out more. We’d just gotten our friendship back and there I was asking if my daughter and I could move in. By the look of shock that passed over his face, Beast wasn’t sure he was the best choice either but still, he lifted his chin at me.
Nodding, I said, “Right. So, now all I gotta do is learn how to take care of a baby girl.”
“Mena and I’ll give you a lift to Beast’s since we got Koda’s car seat. I’ll leave Mena there and take off to grab some shit for Nevaeh while Mena guides you through some things. Sound good?” Dive asked.
“Perfect.” I nodded.
“Do you even remember Stacey, the mother?”
“Fuck yeah, just said I didn’t. She had the biggest titties… shit, sorry, baby girl.” I covered her ear and placed her other against my chest. “She was good in the sack. I always remember the good ones, but she was a nut. Liked snortin’ shit and feeling free and wild. Only had her a coupl’a times, but enough I knew I had to get rid of her.”
Nevaeh squirmed in my arms. I uncovered her ears, and she beat my chest, obviously hating I did that to her in the first place. Tough cookie.
Hell, a thought occurred to me. She liked me enough then, but would she always like me? Fuck me, could I actually take care of a kid? There was no other option anyway; she was mine. I had to man the fuck up and ignore the anxiety eating my gut.
She’d been dealt with a dumb-fuck mother.
I wouldn’t be a dumb-fuck father and pass up the opportunity of gettin’ to know and love my girl. She was a part of me.
Christ.
She was a part of me.
Even had my genes.
And she’d grow up.
She’d grow and be a looker like her papa…. I was totally screwed.
No, I wasn’t screwed; all the men would be if they tried shit with her.
We’d been at Beast’s, who was in the kitchen, for two hours and I was already thinkin’ I was totally outta my depth on anything to do with having a baby. She cried, I freaked. She made a noise, I freaked. She pooped, I freaked. She’d had a bottle, I freaked because I wanted to make sure she got the right amount of formula and then Mena went ahead and said she’d get wind from it which could cause her pain until she got it up.
Knowing my girl could get pain from having what she needed scared the fuck outta me.
Which was how I ended up pacing the floor with a screamin’ Nevaeh in my arms, patting her back trying to get the motherfuckin’ wind out so she’d be in peace again. I was near in tears when suddenly she let out the biggest burp I’d heard from any girl. If I hadn’t changed her diaper before, as Mena instructed, I could have sworn she was a dude just from that burp.
Then, the cryin’ stopped. She stopped her restless movin’ in my arms and looked up at me like she’d just defeated a monster, and she was proud. Hell, I was as well.
“Good girl.” I smiled down at her and kissed her forehead.
Christ, she’d been in my life just over two hours and I was already a goner for my baby girl. A big soppy goner.
“Having a baby is scary all on its own, but I think you’re going to be okay, Knife,” Mena offered from her position on the couch.
“I’m seeing the scary part, and maybe I’ll believe the being okay part in a year or two. When I’m not freakin’ out over every little thing.”
Mena giggled. “You’ve been thrown into this, and you’ve never been a man who… how should I put it, liked children? I have noticed you run from the room every time the children are around, but look at you now. You’re doing amazing, and I’m very proud of you for claiming Nevaeh.”
“Can’t miss she’s my girl.”
“No, you can’t, and still, even though you knew she was yours, you didn’t have to claim her. You could have found other places for her, another family, you didn’t. You saw her and took to her straight away. You’re an amazing man, Knife.”
I had no words. What she was saying happened, but I didn’t see it was bein’ amazing for doing it. She was my daughter. She needed me more than I needed anything. To me, I had no choice, and I didn’t care that my choice was taken from me.
The front door came open, and Dive walked through first with his arms full of shit, followed by Pick and Billy.
“Did you buy out the store? Why in the fuck do we need all this?” I asked.
Dive chuckled. “You don’t know it yet, but kids need a lot of crap.” He placed some boxes on the floor beside Mena and then leaned in to kiss her.
“Which room we setting up the crib in?” Billy asked, then smirked at me. “Hell, never thought I’d see the day of Knife being tamed by a baby.”
Rolling my eyes, I replied, “Fuck off. Beast gave her the middle spare room. Dump the shit in there, and I’ll get to it soon.”
“All good, brother. You got your hands full. We’ll get this started,” Pick offered and then took off down the hall with Billy following.
“No sexual shit happenin’ in that room,” I called after them.
> Billy barked out a laugh and Pick scoffed. “We can restrain ourselves, dickhead.”
I snorted. “Sure.”
“Anyway, we’d better hit the road, gotta get Koda off Low,” Dive said with a clap of his hands.
My gut clenched. I wasn’t sure I was ready for Mena to leave me alone with my girl when I hardly knew shit about a baby, and she was the most experienced considering the rest of us in the house. “Yeah, ah, thanks for helpin’.”
Mena must have seen my fear. She smiled and got up from the couch. When she was in front of me, with a hand on my arm that held Nevaeh’s butt to me, she leaned in and said, “Stick to the schedule I wrote out and you’ll be fine. Don’t worry, Knife. You won’t break her.”
“Yeah, I got this.” Fuck, I hoped I had this.
“You do.” She nodded. “At least Beast is here to help.”
“It’s like the blind leading the fuckin’ blind. Neither of us have dealt with a kid before.”
“Then it will be good to learn together.”
Why did I have a feeling her eyes were trying to portray a different meaning than the one she’d said?
“Look, do you reckon you could drop in tomorrow?”
She grinned. “I’d love to, and I’ll bring Koda with me.”
“Good. Great.” I just had to survive around eighteen hours with my baby girl without fuckin’ anything up. “Also, you reckon you could teach me a few things in sign language?”
Her eyes warmed. She knew I was only asking ’cause Beast was a mate, right? Hell, the other brothers were wanting to learn also.
“I’d like that. You seem to know the basics already, and I think it’s amazing you taught yourself.”
“Yeah, it is,” Dive commented with a smirk. My eyes moved into slits. Why was the guy smirking? In fact, I’d forgotten he was even in the room since my girl had curled her head against my chest and was content to just sit in my arms.
“It’s nothing,” I stated. Because it wasn’t.
“Sunshine, we gotta get gone.”
“Right.” She nodded. “If you need anything, Beast has my number, program it into your phone. But I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
Fuck. I seriously hoped so.