These Hollow Vows

by Lexi Ryan

  This morning he told me he’d been away for some important meetings. I think I believe him, but I can’t help but wonder what he thinks about the missing prisoner. I don’t want to believe he truly would’ve killed Jalek, but the uncertainty is getting to me.

  “Tell me your idea,” he prods.

  “The maids mentioned a beautiful seaside palace that your mother rarely uses. One that sits on the southern shore? I was thinking it might be nice for you and me to get away from all the pressures and demands of the court. To actually spend a couple of days where we can focus on each other.”

  He smirks and wriggles his brows. “Oh, really?”

  I nudge his side with my elbow. “That’s not what I’m talking about, and you know it.”

  “That’s a shame,” he says, chuckling.

  “Says the man who barely wants to kiss me,” I tease, and when the amusement falls off his face, I’m reminded that he’s not human. So strange that when we’re alone together it’s easy to forget. “Male, I mean. Sorry.” I cover the awkward moment with a smile.

  He sighs. “Man, male, whatever. After two years living as a human, the label hardly matters to me. It was the other part . . .” I frown, not understanding, and he explains. “You think I don’t want to kiss you?”

  “Well . . .” I bite my bottom lip, and his eyes follow.

  “Half the time I can’t think of anything else.”

  “But you don’t,” I say softly, thinking of my conversation with Finn, of his revelation that I do want Sebastian but I don’t want to risk his rejection when he finds out the truth. He was right, even if I don’t want to admit it.

  Sebastian smirks. “Can’t you tell I’m playing hard to get?”

  I laugh. “Oh, I noticed. Playing at it for two years, it seems.”

  He cups my jaw and drags his thumb across my lips. The contact is like the first sip of sparkling wine—sweet, heady, and leaving me wanting more. “Is it working?”

  I swallow. “Maybe.”

  “You really want to go away with me? Just the two of us?”

  “Wouldn’t it be nice to go to a place where there aren’t so many eyes on us all the time?”

  “Brie, the reality of my life is that there are always people watching. I’d like to tell you that I can give you anything, but the truth about ruling is that you don’t get a private life.”

  And if I’m going to stay with him, this is a reality I’m going to have to accept. That’s the least of our problems, Bash. “Even getting away from the hordes of courtiers would be something,” I say. “I always loved the ocean, and I’d love to see what it’s like in your world.”

  His eyes soften, and he presses a kiss to the top of my head. “If I’m honest, the idea of having you to myself for a couple of days is incredibly appealing. Let me see what I can work out. I have to leave first thing in the morning, and I expect to be away all day.”

  My heart sinks, but I don’t know if it’s because I’m that anxious to get to the book or because I don’t want him to go away again. “Where do you go this time?”

  “We’ve had some trouble at the eastern border.” He frowns. “Our security isn’t what it once was.”

  “You mean the camps?” When his expression hardens, I hesitate, but the words are already out there, so I go on. This is too important. “You don’t help them lock up those innocent people, do you?”

  “What do you know about the camps?”

  “I . . . not much. Just that it’s Unseelie who are trying to escape Mordeus’s oppressive rule and . . . They’re just trying to find a better life, Bash.” I can see in his eyes that there is no way I should know even half that much. “I didn’t believe you would have anything to do with it. I thought you wanted to help people—no matter what court they’re from.”

  “Of course I do. But you need to understand that—” He shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. You don’t need the details. Who told you about this?”

  “I’ve just . . . heard people talking.”

  “What people?”

  The anger in his eyes worries me—not for myself, but for anyone I might implicate. After seeing him with Jalek, I’m not entirely sure who I’m dealing with. “I don’t know.”

  “I can trust you, right, Brie?”

  You can never trust a thief you’ve welcomed into your home. “Of course.” The lie is bitter on my tongue.

  His shoulders relax. “I do, you know. For better or worse, I do.” He brings my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles before leading me back to the palace and my room.

  I lie awake half the night, the bitter taste in my mouth making my stomach cramp.

  * * *

  Pretha gets me from my chambers shortly after breakfast, and guilt dogs me with every step to the carriage and every turn toward Finn’s.

  I can trust you, right, Brie?

  He can’t trust me, and I have to keep that secret until Jas is home safe. When I consider the choice between Sebastian’s feelings and Jas’s freedom, the choice is obvious. It’s easy. So why do I feel this way?

  “What’s wrong with you?” Pretha asks as the carriage stops in the village.

  “Nothing.” I climb out behind her and we walk along in silence toward the house.

  She stops at the front door. “Don’t lie to me, Brie. It’s a waste of time.”

  “I just want my sister back. I want to find the damn book so Mordeus can tell me what’s next. I’m sick of everyone acting like we have all the time in the world. I want to finish this and get my sister and go home.” But my voice cracks on the last word. Home? Is that what it is? We can’t stay in Fairscape. Gorst will never stop hunting me down for stealing from him, and going back to Elora in any capacity means saying goodbye to Sebastian . . . and to Finn and Pretha and the whole misfit faerie crew.

  When I look up, Pretha is studying me. Maybe it’s just the nature of Eurelody’s form, but her expression seems almost sympathetic. “Are you and Sebastian fighting?”

  “Not at all.” I shake my head and look away. Across the cobblestone street, a faerie with angelic translucent wings and curled horns sweeps her front porch. “The problem is that he trusts me and I need him to, but I feel like garbage every time I exploit that.”

  She frowns. “You’ve been put in an impossible situation.”

  I wait for her to give me some sage advice on helping said impossible situation, but she just pushes inside and gestures for me to close the door behind me. She shifts back into her own form and leads the way to the library.

  The doors at the back of the dark hall are closed, and Kane stands guard, arms crossed in front of him, his red eyes glowing in the dim corridor.

  Pretha looks between him and the closed doors and frowns. “My brother’s here early?”

  “The king and queen are speaking with Finn and Tynan now, but the queen is expecting you to join them for lunch.” Kane grimaces. “Do you want me to make excuses for you?”

  Pretha shakes her head. “I knew this was coming. Lunch, dinner? Does it really matter?” Her tone is causal, but her gait, as she turns on her heel and storms to the sitting room, is anything but.

  I look helplessly between Kane and the dark doorway where Pretha disappeared. “Should I leave her alone or . . .”

  Kane turns up his palms. “Can’t you do the female thing?”

  I arch a brow. “The female thing?”

  He waves a hand. “You know, where you say the nice things and make her feel better even though she’s heartbroken and love’s a bitch?”

  “Oh, I . . . Why’s that a female thing?”

  He grunts. “You think I’m a good candidate for that job? I can’t even tell someone to have a good day without sounding like I secretly wish they’d die.”

  He has a point. I frown, thinking this through. “She’s heartbroken? Over whom?”

  He rocks back on his heels. “If you want to know, you should go do the thing.” I can tell by the way he looks after her that he hates not b
eing able to be that kind of friend for her, but I’m not sure I’m a great candidate either.

  Nevertheless, I find myself heading into the sitting room. Pretha’s standing at the front window, staring out at the street, her face blank, her eyes cold.

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  She tenses. “To admit there’s anything to talk about feels like a betrayal to my husband.”

  Oh. Well, then . . . “When did Vexius die?”

  “Four years ago. He was injured while taking a group of Unseelie refugees to a portal to the Wild Fae territory.” She swallows. “He didn’t recover.”

  No wonder she looked so stricken when Finn was hurt under the same circumstances. “Four years is a long time. Surely you can forgive yourself for developing feelings for someone.”

  She tears her gaze off the street and meets my eyes. I’ve never seen her look so old or so tired. “What I feel for Amira I felt long before I met Vexius. Long before either of us married.”

  The name niggles at my memory. This is the meeting she’s been dreading. “Amira is the queen of the Wild Fae?”

  Pretha nods and looks away again. “And my brother’s wife.”

  “Oh.” My stomach sinks as I try to imagine this. “Oh, Pretha, I’m so sorry.”

  “Yes, me too.” Her puff of breath leaves a foggy patch on the window.

  “Amira and I were both your age when she was brought to my family’s palace. She was there to prepare to be Misha’s bride, but I fell in love the first time I laid eyes on her.”

  “That’s beautiful.” My voice is heavy with sadness. I know where this story is going. “Then she chose him over you?” I wince at the sound of my own question. If Kane were here to witness my ineptitude, he may have handled this himself.

  Pretha scoffs. “Hardly. There wasn’t ever a choice given, not to either of us. The Wild Fae are more accepting than the Seelie of people like Amira and me. My parents raised us to believe that love is beautiful in all forms, but I always knew that this acceptance stopped at the palace doors. To be in the royal family means living by a different set of rules.”

  “Why?” I ask. “What’s the difference?”

  “They would tell you it’s about the power of bloodlines, but it’s really about appearances. And about their own discomfort with the idea of their daughter loving another female.” She sighs. “But for three years Amira and I got to be together while they groomed her for her life as the queen. Misha didn’t care. He wasn’t marrying her for love, only to strengthen the alliance between our families. But when our parents found out?” Her lips twitch—in amusement? Irritation? Old anger? Maybe a combination of all three. “You can imagine my horror when they sent me away to marry the young brother of the Unseelie Prince.”

  “Vexius,” I say softly. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be expected to marry someone for political reasons. Can’t imagine love having so little weight in the list of reasons you decide to spend your life with someone. Yet this is exactly what Sebastian will deal with if I decide not to stay with him. “But you eventually grew to care for him?”

  “Some days I wish I hadn’t,” she says, pressing a fist to her chest as if she’s trying to stave off the ache there. “But he was so damn easy to love.”

  * * *

  “You’re getting better,” Finn says.

  I gape at him. “Was that a compliment?”

  We’re upstairs while Pretha takes lunch with her brother and the queen of the Wild Fae. Although I didn’t expect to be welcomed to that meal, I assumed that Finn at least would be there for moral support for his sister-in-law. But no. The king and queen requested privacy.

  “Just focus,” Finn says.

  Tynan folds his arms and lifts his chin in an I-dare-you pose.

  The goal is to wrap him in shadow—not like I would to bring someone through a wall with me, but to trap him in my shadows. A defensive maneuver Jalek swears is my only hope in combat, since I’m pathetic with a sword.

  Unspooling my magic, I zero in on Tynan and wrap him in shadow—only to have it fall away when he shrugs.

  “Should work fine,” Tynan says, his eyes dancing. “As long as your enemies stay perfectly still.”

  I flash him a vulgar gesture but laugh. I might still suck at this, but I’m making progress.

  “Finn.” Kane stands in the bedroom doorway. “We have a problem. Prince Ronan’s at the door.”

  That one name, and my good mood is gone. My stomach clenches hard. This is what I was afraid of. He’s going to find out I’m betraying him. How did he find me here?

  Finn seems to have the same question. “Did you tell him where you’re spending your days?”

  I shake my head. “No. He just knows I’m with my tutor.”

  “We planned for this,” Finn tells Kane. “That’s why we’re here, right? So send Eurelody to talk to him. Amira and Misha will forgive the interruption.”

  “We would, but . . .” Kane clears his throat. “He has the real Eurelody with him. He tracked her down, and she admitted that she left the queen’s service years ago.”

  Finn mutters a curse.

  Tynan grimaces. “We need to get him out of here before he realizes that Misha and Amira are on the premises.”

  “I can go talk to him,” I offer, though I have no idea what I’ll say. I just want to get rid of this sick feeling in my stomach. What will happen to Jas if Sebastian sends me home?

  Finn’s brows disappear into his curls. “You want him to know without a doubt that you’re here? That you’re working with us?”

  I flinch.

  “That’s what I thought. Stay put.” He follows Tynan out of the room and shuts the door behind him.

  I listen to the muffled sounds of the males downstairs.

  I hear Finn’s low voice and Sebastian’s, but I can’t make out their words.

  There’s another low rumble, and then suddenly silence. I can’t stand it anymore.

  The bedroom door squeaks as I open it, and I flinch and quietly pad toward the top of the stairs.

  “Let me in—” Sebastian’s growl practically shakes the house. He stands toe to toe with Finn, who has Tynan at his side. The two princes are a formidable sight, broad-shouldered and menacing, glowering at each other. “I know you have her here.”

  “Maybe your magic is failing you, Prince. I’m sure you’ll fix that soon enough, what with all those ripe opportunities waiting at your palace.” I can’t see Finn’s face, but I can hear the sneer in his voice.

  “Shut up,” Sebastian snarls. “Don’t act like you’re any better than I am.”

  “Leave, boy. Go back to the castle and your doting mother. Go back to your herd of human women desperate to hand their lives over to you.” Finn takes two steps back, retreating into the house, but Tynan stays put, his chest puffed out like he’s ready to strike.

  “Finnian, you’re a bigger ass than I remember.”

  Finn gives a mocking half bow, and Sebastian turns on his heel and stomps away. Tynan slams the door shut behind him and turns to Finn with a tight jaw. “I thought we could trust her.”

  “We can,” Finn says.

  “Then how do you explain that?”

  Finn shakes his head. “Don’t assume anything. I’ll take care of it.”

  I realize that Finn’s headed to the stairs, and I rush back to the bedroom, pulling the door shut behind me. At the window, I search the street for Sebastian, but he’s not there. He must have come here with his goblin and had him take him back to the castle.

  The bedroom door creaks as it opens. “Trying to catch a glimpse of your true love?” Finn asks.

  I don’t turn around. “Do you knock?”

  “Not in my own house.”

  “Then maybe I should just—” I don’t get the chance to finish my empty threat before he spins me around and pulls my amulet from where I keep it tucked beneath my dress.

  “Why didn’t you tell me about this?” Finn spends more time irritat
ed and moody than happy, but I’ve never seen him like this. Anger blazes in his eyes and turns the silver nearly white around his pupils.

  “It’s none of your business.”

  “Bullshit. If I’m going to keep you here, if I’m going to risk my people to protect you, this is completely my business. Where did you get it?”

  I can’t risk giving this up. I’ve nearly died twice since arriving in this godsforsaken realm. Any protection Sebastian’s amulet offers me, I need. “My mother gave it to me.”

  He makes a fist around the amulet and yanks hard, breaking the chain before turning on his heel and heading toward the door.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I stalk toward him. His friends might be afraid of him, but I’m not. “That’s mine. You have no right—”

  “No right to destroy Prince Ronan’s tracking amulet? No right to keep him and the queen from knowing where you’ve been spending your time?” He grips the amulet so tightly his knuckles whiten.

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s an amulet of protection.”

  “Is it? How well did it protect you when the Sluagh got you in their claws? How do you think your prince found you the night the Barghest caught you in the forest?”

  “I—” The fight drains out of me and I’m shaking as I lower myself to sit on the bed. I never questioned how Sebastian found me that night. I was just so relieved to be saved, and I figured . . . I figured he was a magical creature, and it wasn’t so hard to believe he’d be able to track me.

  Finn opens his palm so I can see the amulet. Once lustrous and sparkling, it’s turned the color of dirty water since Finn tore it off my neck. “He was tracking you with this, and he followed you right to my door.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper. Tracking me. He’d told me it would protect me, but all he’d intended to do was keep tabs on me. A terrible thought occurs to me, and I snap my gaze to Finn’s. “The Unseelie Court. I was wearing the amulet both times I went to speak with Mordeus.” If Sebastian realizes I’m tricking him, if he knows I’m working for Mordeus to steal from his court—