A Texas Soldier's Christmas

by Cathy Gillen Thacker

  This was new, Zane thought. And not in a good way.

  The tip of Nora’s tongue snaked out to wet her lower lip. “You don’t belong here in Laramie, Zane. And the truth is, you never have,” she said, holding all the tighter to his hands. “You know it. I know it...”

  He’d never seen her so overwrought or so incredibly, passionately, beautiful. He shifted her over onto his lap. Adjusted his posture to ease the pressure building at the front of his slacks and felt her begin to blissfully relax.

  He rubbed his thumb across the soft dampness of her lower lip. Looked deep into her eyes. “Where do you see me?”

  Nora wreathed one arm about his shoulders, splayed the other hand across the center of his chest. Her expressive brows lowering over her long-lashed eyes, she replied, “Where you have always belonged. With your unit in the Special Forces.”

  He stared at her, hardly able to believe she was pushing him away. The way she always did before any expected deployment.

  Again.

  He’d thought—hoped—with the connection they had forged, with Liam’s help, that they had gotten past all that.

  Still, he tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. “And here I thought I’d been making myself useful around here,” he deadpanned.

  For a second, Nora turned her glance away and the pink in her cheeks deepened. Her lips tightened. Slowly but surely, the walls around her heart began to go back up. With a contrite smile, she turned to look him in the eye. “That’s the hell of it. You have. With the Laramie Gardens residents. The ex-military guys over at the WTWA. Liam. Me. Your family.”

  Her pretty sky blue eyes began to fill with tears. “We’re all going to miss you terribly,” she admitted, her lush lower lip quivering. “But we can’t let our feelings dictate what you do or where you go.” She withdrew herself from his embrace, stood. And walked over to the fireplace. She fingered the less-than-pleasing photo of Liam, with Santa displayed there.

  As a reminder that life wasn’t always perfect? he wondered.

  Swallowing she turned back to face him. “And I know you realize it, too. Even if you’re not ready to admit it to me just yet.”

  His emotions in turmoil, too, he stood. “How do you figure that?”

  She waved an airy hand. “It’s why you’ve been putting off having any kind of serious talk until after Christmas Day. The same goes for your family. It’s why you are preparing to sell the ranch your father left you.”

  He joined her at the mantel. The heat emanating from the hearth was nothing compared to the fire roiling deep inside his gut.

  He lounged beside her. “How long since you deduced all this?”

  To his increasing frustration, his sarcasm seemed lost on her.

  Turning to face him, she angled her chin at him and continued blithely, “I realized what was going on the day I delivered the tabletop tree to the No Name.”

  He lifted his brow, wordlessly urging her to go on.

  “You had the most knowledgeable real estate broker in Laramie County out there. A group of surveyors. Sage’s friend Raquel, from Dallas.”

  He shook his head, hoping that would clear it. “So?”

  “You didn’t want to talk about any of it to me, Zane. You still don’t.”

  He rubbed at the tension gathering in the back of his neck, said wearily, “I had my reasons, Nora.” And I still do.

  “Yes,” she said, determined to keep her blinders on. Her lower lip slid out in a delicious pout. “Because you didn’t want our latest hookup to end the way it always does just yet.”

  “Hookup,” he echoed in shock, wondering how this conversation could get any more disappointing.

  “Or fling or reconnection. Whatever you want to call it.”

  Semantics weren’t what was bothering him here.

  “How about Part Two in Our Never Really Ending Relationship?”

  His sardonic humor was completely lost on her.

  She propped her hands on her hips. Clearly exasperated, said, “That’s exactly what I’m trying to tell you, Zane. Our relationship with each other doesn’t have to end.”

  She came close enough to take him in her arms again.

  Said with fierce finality, “I want to be on-again with you from here on out. I want you to know that Liam and I will be here, waiting for you and supporting you, no matter how long or how often you’re gone.”

  * * *

  NORA WASN’T SURE why her matter-of-fact declaration was being met with such stunned silence. She’d expected the knowledge that they would be here for him from this day forward would make him incredibly happy.

  Instead, he looked stunned. And wary. Too wary for comfort.

  “And you’ll be content with that?” he asked quietly, keeping his physical distance in a way she hadn’t expected. He rested an arm on the mantel. “Seeing each other only occasionally? Making do with what time the military gives us?”

  Of course not! But she’d finally found a way to be there for him. To be as honorable and duty driven as he was, deep down. And most especially, to be able to nobly sacrifice the way he did. “I promise, from here on out, I’m going to be a good military...”

  He frowned when she stumbled, trying to come up with the right word to categorize what they had yet to precisely define. “Girlfriend?” he asked mildly.

  Was he angry? Hard to tell, but it certainly seemed so.

  Aware this was all starting to go mysteriously awry, Nora swallowed. “I think—if you’re asking—that I prefer the term your woman. Or your significant other. But—” she drew another deep breath, still floundering under his steady regard “—if you’d like to say something more contemporary, we could always call me your...um...person...?”

  His expression maddeningly impassive, Zane folded his arms. His gaze sifted over her face before returning with slow deliberation to her eyes. “How about love interest? Would that work?”

  Like she cared how others viewed them, she thought grumpily. Their relationship was theirs and theirs alone. She thought she had made that clear! Apparently not.

  She moved toward him, hands outspread. Suddenly feeling as piqued and out of sorts as he looked. “Why are you so ticked off, anyway? I’m finally giving you what you always wanted from me, Zane! My unwavering, unconditional support.”

  His dark silver eyes narrowed. He turned and walked away from her. “With one foot out the door, of course.”

  Tensing anxiously, she followed. “I’m giving you your freedom instead of boxing you in, the way you always hated.”

  He swung around to square off with her once again. His jaw set. He stared at her long and hard, then shook his head. “I really thought things had changed between us.”

  Nora took him by the arms. “They have!”

  His biceps were rock hard, resistant, beneath her compelling grip. “No,” he countered sternly, “they haven’t, Nora. My family. The guys in the unit. The fellows at Laramie Gardens and now, even you. You all have an opinion as to what I should do.”

  He stepped back and angled a thumb at the center of his chest.

  Anger vibrated in the air between them. “And yet...as much as you proclaim to care for me...you’ve never once asked me what I want! Or what I think would be good for us.”

  He was twisting things, deliberately misinterpreting her actions, the way he always did whenever they got too close. Or he risked having her ask too much of him.

  The heat of rejection pushed from her chest into her face. She’d thought things were different, too. But were they, after all?

  “I just did that,” she retorted evenly.

  He shook his head, regret etching the hard, uncompromising lines of his handsome face. “No, Nora, you made a huge assumption predicated on what you thought I was going to do between now and Janua
ry 15, when my current enlistment ends. And you let me know you were okay with your expectation.” He grimaced unhappily. “Especially now that you have your guard back up.”

  Nora dropped her hands as if she’d been stung. And to think, she’d been about to propose to this man! She stepped back, feeling as if the entire world were quaking beneath her feet.

  Hurt filled her low tone. “That wasn’t what I was doing!” Tears filled her eyes. She did her best to contain them.

  He quirked a dissenting brow.

  “I was finally being supportive in the best, the only way I know how,” she continued, feeling utterly humiliated.

  Even if he still had yet to be completely forthcoming with her. And maybe, she realized sadly, acutely aware of how he was still shutting her out, he never would be.

  But once again, Zane didn’t see it her way.

  “No, Nora,” he corrected bitterly, a muscle working in his jaw. “You were protecting your heart, once again. Valiantly pushing me out the door and out of your life—just in time for the first and only Christmas we’ve been blessed to actually spend together!” He turned on his heel and grabbed his coat. “And guess what? I’m going!”

  Chapter Sixteen

  “What’s wrong, dear?” Miss Mim asked Nora on the morning of Christmas Eve.

  Everything, Nora thought miserably. But wary of spoiling anyone else’s holiday, Nora continued setting out small gift baskets at every seat in the dining hall. “What could be wrong? Mr. Pierce is safe and sound and celebrating the holiday with his daughter, Lynn.” Plus, his medical mystery had been solved.

  She nodded at the community room, which was filled with laughter and music.

  “We’ve had children in and out all day, bringing gifts and spending time with residents as part of our new Adopt a Grandparent program.”

  A fact which had made Miss Isabella and others very happy.

  “And we’re set to have a wonderful holiday meal this evening, and another in the dining hall tomorrow afternoon.”

  Miss Mim moved behind Nora, adding poinsettia centerpieces. “Have you heard from your family?”

  Nora and Miss Mim went back to the storage area to replenish their pushcarts.

  “My mother and my sister, Davina, both called this morning to wish us a merry Christmas, and FaceTime with us a bit.” Which had been the one-and-only really bright spot of her day thus far.

  Miss Mim cast a fond look at Liam, who currently was nestled in Miss Patricia’s arms while Miss Sadie entertained him with an impromptu puppet show. “What about Zane?”

  Liam let out a belly laugh at the antics of the stuffed lamb and pig, which made everyone within earshot grin.

  Aware the retired librarian was awaiting an answer, Nora helped her finish loading her cart with more centerpieces. “He has a family thing this evening.”

  Together, they pushed their carts back out into the dining hall. Miss Mim slanted her a glance. “Are you going?”

  She had been. Until they’d quarreled. Now, given the way he’d stormed out on her, it didn’t seem like a good idea at all. Nora worked hard to suppress a self-conscious blush. “I was invited,” she informed truthfully.

  “But are you attending?” the older woman pressed.

  Nora only wished that were still possible. But not wanting to get into it, shrugged and murmured, “It depends on Liam.” She smiled as her son yawned. “He’s had a busy few days.”

  We all have.

  And though Nora wished she could blame her fight with Zane on the fact they were both worn-out and dreading the end of their time together, she knew it was more than that.

  She had given him every opportunity and he still didn’t trust her enough to tell her the truth about his plans.

  Mistaking the reason behind Nora’s contemplative silence, Miss Mim patted her hand. “I’m sorry if the other ladies and I have given you too much advice,” she said kindly, pausing to take a seat.

  Nora did the same.

  “It’s just we don’t want you to make our mistakes.” Miss Mim shook her head. “Time passes so quickly. When you get to be our age, you realize how fleeting it is. How some opportunities only come once and even if we’re wise enough not to squander them, the moments are fleeting anyway.”

  Sadly, Nora knew how true that was.

  Zane had been in Texas for almost a month now, and it seemed like their time together had passed in an instant.

  Quietly, the older woman insisted, “Whatever is keeping you and Zane apart can be fixed, Nora.”

  Could it?

  She wondered.

  “If only you’re brave enough to open up your heart and try...”

  * * *

  ZANE WAS CHOPPING wood when Sage arrived at the No Name ranch, already dressed for the Lockharts’ Christmas Eve celebration.

  He wasn’t surprised to see his meddlesome only sister arrive. Nor was he shocked at what she had to say, as she made her way carefully over the rough terrain. “I can’t believe you blew it with Nora. Again.”

  “She’s the one who pushed me out the door with both hands.”

  “Only because she had no clue what you’ve been up to for the past month. Face it. You made a mistake, not telling Nora what you were doing out here.”

  He had wanted to. Numerous times. But... “She set the rules, Sage.” No more broken promises.

  And since there had been no way he could guarantee how it would all work out, he’d had to ignore every romantic impulse he had and remain silent about that part of his future.

  “It’s not as if I didn’t let her know how I felt about her and Liam a dozen other ways.”

  “Such as...?”

  “I set up a little nursery out here for Liam.”

  “So she could spend the night with you.”

  He clenched his jaw. “So they both could spend the night out here.” What he had hoped would be the start of many.

  Sage shivered in the cold December air.

  “I took steps to provide for them financially.”

  His sister persisted doggedly. “But did you tell her you love her?”

  “She knows she’s the only woman in the world for me.”

  “So you didn’t mention love.”

  “Listen, Dear Abby...”

  She propped her hands on her hips. “I know you think they are just words, Zane. But women need to hear them.”

  Zane found it hard to believe that Nora would have shoved him out the door over a few unsaid words. “We were more than that, Sage.” At least he’d thought they were.

  She lifted a brow. “More than love?”

  Zane picked up a load of split logs and carried them toward the ranch house. He stacked them neatly on the porch, then went back for another half dozen. “I wanted things to work out.”

  “Really?” As determined as ever to make him see the wisdom of her words, Sage dogged his every step. “Because it looked to me like it wasn’t just Nora who has had her doubts. You haven’t been sure you could be happy with her, either.”

  Zane exhaled. Had he ever seen a gloomier Christmas Eve? He didn’t think so.

  “It’s true.” He carried the last of the split logs to the porch. “I’ve never been the kind of guy who could sit still for even a day.”

  Sage followed him inside. Watched as he washed up. “And now, thanks to all your very hard work putting together a very big endeavor in a very short time, you won’t have to worry you’ll get bored in Laramie County. Because every day is likely to be as different and challenging and important to everyone involved as the next.”

  Zane dried his hands. “Yeah—” he shrugged, discouragement flooding his soul “—but will any of it matter to Nora?”

  Would it make her want what he wanted most of al
l?

  Sage took him by the arms and forced him to look at her. “Listen to me, Zane,” she said softly. “You’re not the first couple to find yourself in a potentially heartbreaking situation. Nick and I went through the same thing.”

  Hard to imagine, they were so happy now. But what did he know about what had gone down between them? He’d been with his unit, overseas during most of the courtships of all four of his siblings.

  Calmly, he pointed out what he did know. “You never disapproved of Nick’s life work.”

  “But I worried I wouldn’t fit into his life. And as it turns out—” Sage paused to let her words sink in “—he was just as worried about making me happy. We didn’t know that, though, because we were so busy trying to keep it casual and hide what we were really thinking and feeling that we almost lost each other.” Tears sparkled in her eyes. “We would have if we hadn’t found the courage to tell each other what was in our hearts.”

  Zane inhaled deeply. “You’re saying I should go to Nora?”

  “And make it the merriest Christmas of all, by telling her all you’ve been doing behind the scenes to see that you will have the kind of future together that will make you-all blissfully happy.”

  * * *

  AS ZANE SHOWERED and got ready for the family party, he realized his sister was right. Mistakes had been made. Lots of them. But there was still time to fix everything.

  And it had to be done in person.

  As he was walking out the door, he saw a familiar red minivan coming up the drive. Nora. She was the last person he expected to see and the person he most wanted to connect with, too.

  He stood, hands in his pockets, waiting, until the van stopped and Nora got out. She came toward him, her chin held high, her expression so resolute it set his heart to pounding.

  He glanced inquiringly at the rear passenger seat.

  “Liam is with your mother at the Circle H.”

  Which meant what? His mother had been involved in the last-minute matchmaking efforts, too? Or Nora and Liam intended to attend the party with him, after all?