Backward Blessings

by Rachel A Andersen

  A strange calm settled over her as she looked at Colin. In the light of the full moon and the lights on the Beautiful Blessings sign, Teresa caught the first sign of fear in his eyes. Something about how she’d changed in the last few months scared him.

  “Colin, I told you when you called that now wasn’t a good time to talk about Thanksgiving. You chose to come here instead of respecting my request. I think that says a lot about you.”

  Colin rolled his eyes. “Yeah? Like what?”

  “Like it bothers you that I’m moving on. I didn’t even have a date to the Harvest Ball, and you felt threatened by it.”

  Colin’s jaw flexed. She’d seen enough behavioral analysts on television dramas to know that was one of the signs of fear. It was just odd that the look led her to pity the man in front of her rather than fear him.

  For the first time in a long time, Teresa felt powerful again. She was still trembling like a leaf, but she was able to set that feeling aside to do what she needed to do. “Colin, you’re the one who asked for a divorce. You’re the one who thought I wasn’t enough for you. The least you can do is let me get on with my life, let me accept your decision.”

  “You’re trying to take my kid from me. I have a right to have my kid for Thanksgiving.”

  Teresa’s gaze hardened. “I’ve never stood between you and Logan. You and I renegotiated our Thanksgiving plans. What I was going to tell you later this week on the phone was that I emailed you the change and I forwarded a copy to both our divorce lawyers. Check your email. You acknowledged the response in an email.”

  “Why would I do that? New Year’s isn’t the kind of holiday you want to spend with your kid. I’ll bring this up at our next custody hearing.”

  Teresa just laughed. “You want to talk about custody hearings? I’m not sure that’s your best move. I have documentation backing up my recollection of the events in question.”

  Colin’s nostrils flared. “Don’t you laugh at me.”

  She shook her head. “Colin, why do you care about having Logan for Thanksgiving all of a sudden? Maybe if I can understand that, we can make other arrangements.”

  Colin threw his arms in the air. “Are you for real? Other arrangements? I have a legal document dictating when I get my kid, and I get him on Thanksgiving!”

  He moved toward Teresa, and Jake stepped in front of her. He didn’t say anything, just crossed his arms over his chest like a bodyguard.

  Colin glanced up at him and it exaggerated the slight height difference between them. Hatred stormed on his features. “Get out of my way or I will hurt you.”

  Teresa stepped forward. “Colin, please, you’re only going to make this worse if you start a fight. You’ve already got the deputy suspicious of you.”

  His eyes narrowed at her. “As I recall, she didn’t think there was anything wrong until she saw how you clung to Fabio over there.”

  “I imagine announcing your arrival with the loudest engine you could find was the reason she stepped out in the first place,” Jake said.

  Teresa put a hand on Jake’s biceps, trying to ask him to stop antagonizing Colin. She wasn’t the scared woman she’d been on the steps of the Town Hall. She could handle this. “If I recall, Jake and I both tried to tell her that everything was fine. The only thing I did was accept her request to come to my home for some refreshments in repayment for helping to get my grandmother’s best friend home after the dance.”

  Colin rolled his eyes. “Oh, please, you’d have thought I was waving a gun around from the way you were looking at me. Having your boyfriend’s arms around you like you were going to fall to pieces sure didn’t help. It’s a wonder she didn’t escort both of us from the premises.”

  Teresa stepped in front of Jake before the bigger man could make the situation worse. “Jake’s just a guest. He’s not my boyfriend.”

  Colin smirked. “You sure about that? Then, why do you feel the need to talk back to me, hm? I think it’s because you want to prove something to this new fella.”

  Teresa stared at him. Suddenly, that confident charisma melted away, and she could see him for what he was. “You don’t see it, do you? All your life you have been afraid of people walking out of your life, so afraid that you twist their love through manipulation into something unnatural and unhealthy. Colin, I wasn’t planning on going anywhere, but when you left me, you did me the biggest favor anyone has ever done. You freed me.”

  His smile fell.

  She shook her head as she studied him, this shell of a man she’d imagined to be more powerful than she was. “Colin, you have only yourself to blame for your own unhappiness. You have this twisted way of trying to keep people coming back to you, but you always walk away from them first. If you keep that up, you’re going to lose Logan all by yourself, and it won’t take a court order to do it.”

  Colin’s eyes burned with hatred as he pounced at her. “Why, you little—”

  Jake’s arm flung out between Teresa and Colin with impressive speed, intercepting the angry man before he could touch Teresa. The air fell silent as Colin landed with a thud on his back.

  Jake knelt beside Colin, his arms resting on one knee. “I’d go home before I have to report this with the sheriff.”

  Colin’s eyes were wide as he waited for the breath to spring back to his lungs.

  Teresa leaned over Colin herself. “You let me know if you want to take this custody issue to court. I’ll be ready.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  Jake

  Adrenaline hummed through Jake’s body as Colin drove away. That could have gone worse. Much worse.

  Teresa’s shoulders visibly relaxed as Colin’s car sped out of sight. “I wish I could say that was over, but I have a feeling it’s just beginning.”

  Jake studied her face. It looked drawn and worn like this confrontation had drained every last drop of her energy. “That may be true, but you were good. I have a feeling he’ll think twice before he pulls a stunt like that again.”

  “Maybe.”

  Jake opened one arm to her, creating a space for her to step into his embrace. His senses surged with pleasure when she cuddled up against him in the evening breeze. After the encounter with her ex, he had a special pride that she considered him a safe enough place to be her whole self while she recovered. Maybe it was just the intensity of the evening, but it felt right to have her in his arms right now. It felt good.

  Teresa shivered in his arms, and he tightened his grip around her.

  “Are you okay?”

  She snuggled closer to him. “Tired but good. I know I should go in and relieve Penny, but I could use another minute out here.”

  Jake’s lips lifted into a half-smile. “Then take it. That didn’t take the whole fifteen minutes. You have time to take a breather and then send her a text.”

  Her eyes drifted closed as she stood with her arms around his waist. “I’m sorry you had to see that. Colin hasn’t ever gotten that bad before.”

  “Guys like him don’t like it when the balance of power shifts. It makes them uncomfortable.”

  She peered up at him, her brow crinkling as she studied him. “You’ve been in this situation before?”

  He shrugged. “I’m an ex-Marine. Most of the guys I worked with were good guys, but every now and then...”

  He let the sentence die on his lips. It was no secret that the military sometimes attracted and even created some unstable types. In theory, they got weeded out and treated, but it was a flawed process which involved reporting, follow-up, and personal determination. If even one of those things wasn’t solid, someone could slip through the cracks.

  Teresa pulled away from him, drawing his attention back to her. She patted her hips as if she expected to find pockets there, her eyes wild with panic. “Where’s my phone?”

  Jake put his hands on her arms and modeled a deep breath. As he’d expected, her chest heaved as she took a breath which helped to calm her body. “You left it in the car.”

&nb
sp; She must have remembered the mess she’d made of the contents of her purse because her cheeks turned pink. “Oh. Right.”

  He guided her back to the passenger side of the car, opening the door for her so that she could retrieve her belongings. Her thumbs flew over the virtual keyboard for a minute. Then, she ducked in and threw all her items back into the clutch purse.

  When she’d finished, she turned back to him. She slipped a strand of her hair behind her ear as if she was a nervous teenage girl. “You should get back to the dance. Georgie’s going to have heard about what happened. She’ll be worried.”

  Remembering the old matchmaker, Jake’s lips twitched. “I have a feeling she’ll be okay.”

  “Still, you’re supposed to be at the Harvest Ball.”

  Jake brushed that off. “My sister will understand. Trust me. No bet was worth letting this situation get any worse.”

  Even if Melissa didn’t understand, he wasn’t about to regret where he’d gone tonight. No, he’d been where he needed to be. He’d happily endure a thousand of Melissa’s attempts at prying into his love life in exchange for Teresa and Logan’s safety.

  Any sane person would.

  Teresa rocked up onto her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. A smile brightened her face after their evening. “I’ll fill out your end of date survey if Georgie doesn’t give you a stellar review.”

  Jake laughed. “I have a feeling that I get higher marks not only for ditching my date at the ball but also for rescuing you from your ex. Georgie’s funny like that.”

  Teresa’s eyes shone in the moonlight though she didn’t speak. If Jake’s experience had taught him anything, she was processing the latest exchange with Colin.

  Jake reached down and took her chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Not that you needed any rescuing. You did great.”

  Tears moistened her eyes, raising her trembling hands for him to see. “I’m still shaking.”

  “But you did it. You stood your ground. I’m proud of you.”

  She flicked a tear away from the corner of her eye, uncomfortable to be crying in front of him. “I’ve never admitted to anyone how he affects me. When we were married, I was always apologizing. If something happened, from dinner burning to the dog dying, I was sure it was my fault. He twisted my thoughts until I blamed myself for everything. People think it’s funny, but sometimes I catch myself apologizing to inanimate objects when I trip over them. I let Colin turn me into that.”

  Jake slid his hand down her arm until he could catch her fingers in his. He didn’t say anything, just held them. There wasn’t anything he could say.

  He guided her over to the steps at the front of the farmhouse. Then, he shrugged off his uniform jacket and slipped it over her shoulders.

  Teresa rested her elbows on her thighs. She looked like a teenager who had been picked up from a raucous party by a loving but stern father. She picked at her fingernails, her hands needing to stay busy.

  He knew that feeling. He took one hand in his and interlocked his fingers with hers.

  “The sad thing is that Colin left me, not the other way around. He ran away with a flight attendant. That’s why our marriage ended. Not because I realized that he was the author of my insecurities.” Mascara-tinged tears streaked down her cheeks as she looked up from her fingers. “Anyone who knew both Colin and me wouldn’t believe the story I’m telling you now. Like I said, he’s too charming for anyone to think he’s the one at fault.”

  Her voice wobbled on the word fault like she was about to release the emotion she’d been squelching inside.

  She brushed at her cheek, smearing mascara in a horizontal line from her eye.

  Jake leaned in. He brought his thumb up to her face, pausing only a moment when her breath hitched at his nearness. He searched her face for some evidence that he was or wasn’t welcome at this distance. His eyes darted down to her lips. It seemed wrong to think about kissing her when she was recovering from this kind of trauma. Maybe it would make sense if they’d been dating for any length of time, but for this to be the moment of their first kiss? It didn’t set right with him.

  He licked his thumb and brushed the line of mascara from her face. “There. When you go in to check on Logan, he won’t know anything was wrong.”

  She breathed out a self-deprecating laugh as her fingers brushed at her hair and face. “I must look a mess. I don’t usually wear makeup, so I didn’t have any waterproof mascara in the house. Of course, I cry almost as often as I wear makeup, so it’s not like I was expecting this either.”

  Jake caught her hands in his, and her gaze lifted to him. “You’re not a mess, Teresa. You’re strong. Speaking as a son of a strong woman, I’d be willing to bet that’s what your son admires about you more than anything.”

  Teresa dipped her head, embarrassed. She fingered the gold buttons on his jacket. “I know you haven’t been here long, but you’ve only talked about your sister and brother-in-law since you’ve been here. Not your mother.”

  Jake looked down at his hands. “Yeah. Well, she died a few years back.”

  Teresa cast a sidelong glance at him. “That wouldn’t be why your sister roped you into Thanksgiving in Blessings this year?”

  He shrugged as if to say that she might have a point. “When you’re deployed to Afghanistan for a year, you make peace with the idea that you might not be coming home. You say the things you’re afraid you might never get to say again. You make memories so your loved ones will have something more than the sadness to look back on.”

  His thoughts drifted to those days before his last deployment, from the whipped cream fight he and Melissa had started on the fourth of July to laughing with his mom as she splashed him with dishwater. A lump grew in his throat, threatening to render his voice unusable.

  Teresa wrapped one of his hands in hers, conveying to him the same sentiment he’d shared with her earlier. He wasn’t alone.

  He stared out over the bed and breakfast’s yard as if it was a field in his hometown in South Dakota. “You expect changes. Your ex-girlfriend might get married while you’re gone. Someone might buy the feed store.”

  He turned his palm over and grabbed her fingers in his hand.

  She squeezed his fingers back.

  His voice was husky with the threat of unshed tears. “Nobody tells you they might not be there when you get back.”

  Though he was caught up in his memories, he almost heard a gasp. “Oh, Jake...”

  “I caught a bullet in the arm during an evacuation three years ago. Nothing like the horror stories you might hear from over there, but it was enough to get me shipped to a base hospital for surgery. I was just excited because after surgery, I’d be able to call my family on Thanksgiving. I wouldn’t have to rely on spotty internet connections or worry about getting called away mid-call. But when I called, my sister told me that my mom had a stroke while she was making mashed potatoes. Died instantly. She and Dan got home from the town turkey bowl game to find her in the kitchen.”

  Teresa ran a hand up and down his arm.

  He looked at his feet, thinking for the first time in years about how his sister must have felt when she got home. He should have been there for her. “I haven’t been home since. I don’t think I could bear seeing how things have changed.”

  Teresa nodded. “Sometimes, Thanksgiving feels like it’s a reminder of all the things you don’t have anymore.”

  The breeze carried a hint of hardwood smoke, springing to mind ideas of curling up by a fireplace with a loved one. His heart squeezed with the unexpected desire to hold Teresa close and kiss her lips in the soft glow of a fireplace. It was all he could do not to pull her into the house and make the vision come true.

  Instead, he traced her hand with one finger. “Maybe Thanksgiving could become a symbol of new beginnings. Maybe instead of being filled with dread for the holiday, we could see it as a way to pay tribute to the year as it draws to a close.”

  Teresa’s eyes danced with amuse
ment. “According to my grandmother, that’s what the founders of Blessings did. They founded Blessings during the Civil War, a Union spy and his Southern bride. They built a haven in the center of the country, smack dab in the middle of the two territories which started it all in the first place. If it hadn’t been for Sarah Benedict’s difficult labor, they’d have continued to Oregon like they’d planned. I guess this town wouldn’t have been founded without a backward blessing.”

  Jake’s eyebrows knit together. “Backward blessing?”

  She grinned. “It’s a term Logan came up with. I just love it. I think it means something bad that happens but leads to something better than you imagined.”

  Jake nudged her shoulder. “Like a sister who bets that you won’t last a week in a town that worships your least favorite holiday.”

  Teresa giggled. “Have you found something better than you ever imagined?”

  He studied her features, taking in the way the porch light gleamed against her golden hair. Her eyes, so guarded when they’d first met, had become warm and inviting. He could spend a lifetime searching those eyes for their hidden secrets if he wasn’t careful.

  The laughter in her eyes dampened as if she sensed what he was thinking.

  This was it. This was the moment.

  He smoothed back her hair as he wrapped one hand behind her neck. His breath caught in his lungs. He had found something special here. Something far more precious than he could have imagined.

  “That depends on how you feel about long-distance relationships?”

  He breathed the words an inch from her lips, his eyes darting from her eyes to her lips with each passing second. Electricity crackled between them as if nature itself was sizzling in anticipation for this first, sweet kiss.

  She bit down on her bottom lip, tantalizing him with the knowledge that this emotion was getting too powerful, too strong to bear. “I could be persuaded to consider one if the offer was right.”

  His lip quirked up in a smile as he leaned in. A spark of determination simmered in his eyes. “Challenge accepted.”