Unmending the Veil

by Lisa Heaton

  “Tell me what happened.”

  Robin was standing at the foot of the staircase, trying to listen in on her dad and Mike’s conversation. Upon hearing his truck pull into the drive, and realizing it was nearly ten o’clock, she jumped from her desk and ran down the stairwell. Her father beat her to the door. With his hand he motioned for her to stay where she was.

  “Just a few minutes, I promise, that’s all. I just need to talk to her.”

  “You know how I feel about things like this.”

  Robin could hear the irritation in her dad’s voice.

  “Yes, sir. That’s why I have never done it before. Just ten minutes – please?”

  Stepping through the doorway, her dad motioned for her. “Just a few minutes. When I flick the light, you come in.”

  “I will, Daddy.” Kissing him on the cheek, she rushed out to find Mike sitting on the top step. When he turned around and looked up at her, she grinned and whispered, “What are you doing here?”

  “Come here and sit down.”

  Her heart began to pound. “What? Is something wrong?”

  Taking her hand, he pulled it over and rested it on his lap. For a moment, he was silent. Finally, he began, “I didn’t plan on going. When I went out with Tommy and Kevin, they wanted to go to Shelly’s party.”

  It was Sunday night, and Robin had a paper due in her first class. Even when the invitation to Shelly’s party began to circulate, she knew with it being a school night and church night, her dad would never allow her to go. So after church, she went home to finish her paper. She expected him to be at church as usual, but when Mike never arrived, she wondered if maybe he went to the party. If he decided to, it was not something that bothered her, until that moment anyway.

  Suspicious, his tone giving her cause for concern, she said, “Uh huh?” And there was a smell about him, something different. “Have you been drinking?”

  He nodded but then shrugged his shoulders indicating it was no big deal. “A little, earlier.”

  She sat there, unsure of what to say. He had never drunk anything as far as she knew. His dad used to, and Mike hated it.

  “What happened?” Immediately, she sensed she did not want to know.

  “Shelly kissed me.” After a slight delay, he added, “I guess I kissed her back.”

  Saying nothing, she simply sat there and stared ahead. He was still holding her hand, and she lacked the presence of mind to withdraw it.

  Turning to her, he whispered, “I promise, nothing like that will ever happen again. I swear it.”

  “Why did you do it?” Still, she did not look at him. Instead, she tried to fix her gaze on the mailbox at the end of the sidewalk. Her breathing had become shallow and she feared she might cry.

  “I don’t know. She just moved in on me, and at first, I was like, what the…? Then I don’t know, she kept pressing in on me.”

  She could think of nothing else to say or to ask. Pulling her hand from his, she mumbled, “I should go in.” At her words, the porch light flicked off and on again.

  He stood and caught her by the arms. “I don’t like her. Honestly, I don’t even know how it happened. I just knew I had to tell you and ask you to forgive me.”

  She tried to turn from him, but he held her firmly. “I can’t lose you. Robin, I love you, and I swear I will never do anything like this again. I will never hurt you again.”

  Her dad opened the door so he had to let her go.

  Moving up the stairwell as if in a daze, she mumbled, “Night, Daddy.”

  “Night, sugar.”

  The next morning, Robin was dressed and ready for school by the time her dad was leaving for work. Catching him at the door, she said, “I will need a ride to school this morning.”

  “Sure thing. Is everything all right?”

  She could tell he was puzzled. Since getting his license, Mike had taken her to and from school every day. “Yes. Just need a ride, that’s all.” During the ride, there were no more questions, though she knew he was curious.

  Walking up the steps on the east side of the building, she saw Mike pull in and park where he usually did. Across the yard, she could see that he was watching her, and was all but certain he had gone by her house to pick her up. Turning away from him, she hurried into the building and through the hallway to her locker. As she went along, she noticed people were watching her and whispering. Surely she was not imagining it. Settling the matter, her closest friends, Emily and Rachel, grabbed her and drug her into the restroom.

  “He is such a pig!” Emily spat.

  “I am so sorry. I wasn’t even in the same room, but I heard about it.” They began to discuss the details between the two of them, who saw what, who should have said what.

  “I’ve gotta go.” Moving around them, she tried again to make it to her locker. It became clear; it was not her imagination at all. All eyes remained on her throughout the morning. Plus, she heard several eyewitness accounts that painted a more disturbing picture than Mike’s simple, “She kissed me, and I guess I kissed her back.” The reports depicted more than mere kissing. They were groping all over each other.

  By lunchtime, she had heard all she wanted to hear. Whenever anyone approached, she threw up her hand and told them she knew. Mike had tried to talk to her on several occasions, but each time, she hurried off, too heartbroken to even hear what he had to say.

  Sitting at the lunch table with Emily and Rachel, she saw him approaching. By this point, with all she had heard, her mind was made up. Humiliated by the stories and hurt to her very core by his desire for someone else, she was determined to end things with him. Though she knew nothing else besides him, she had no choice. It was his doing, not hers.

  He straddled the bench next to her and moved in very close. For a minute, he just sat, looking at her.

  Others around, without any discretion at all, openly gawked in curiosity. Everyone knew about him and Shelly, and they seemed to be enjoying her pain. It was the juiciest piece of gossip the school had known all year, and ironically, those who gladly put them up on a pedestal, were just as happy to watch them topple over.

  “Please talk to me,” he pleaded.

  Turning to face him, she said in as low a voice as she could, “It was more than a simple kiss. Do you know how many people were watching you?”

  He nodded. “It was stupid, and I can’t do anything but tell you how sorry I am. Baby, I love you.” He moved his hand to the back of her neck and pulled her to him. “Please forgive me, please.” He rested his forehead on hers. “I have nothing but you. You know that. .”

  He was so close she could feel his breath on her face. His sad eyes revealed his desperation. But his eyes were not all she could think of. Literally, everyone was staring, watching this private encounter. Even more embarrassed than before, she whispered, “I think we need some time apart.” Amazed at the courage of her own words, she knew deep in her heart it would never be as easy as she made it sound. Their lives were so intertwined that she did not know where she ended and he began. Already having been together four years, he was all she knew, and still, even after all she heard about how he touched Shelly and how she touched him, he was all she wanted. Her weakness for him made her feel needy and pathetic.

  “No, no. Don’t say that.” He held her firmly to him. “I will do anything to make this up to you, anything.”

  “There’s nothing you can do.” Pulling away from him, she took her tray, food untouched, and dumped it into the barrel trashcan. Holding her head high, with feigned strength, she left the lunchroom. Alone in the hallway though, she ran all the way to the restroom, locked herself in a stall, and began to cry. Sitting there on the toilet, she went through half a roll of tissue before the end of lunch bell sounded.

  After school during cheerleading practice, Robin was near to where Mike practiced football. On several occasions, she heard his coach yell at him. “Where’s your head, McGarrett?” She tried not to look, but when she did, she found him sta
ring at her. Clearly, he was a mess, and it broke her heart for him. Once, when she had taken a fall during one of the stunts, she saw him begin to run toward her. Again, the coach yelled.

  When her practice was over, she caught a ride home and waited for him to call. She knew he would. While they spoke on the phone, he begged and pleaded, but she refused to relent. After their third conversation, her dad demanded he not call again. Undeniably, it was the worst night of her life up until that point.

  At school the next morning, Robin was at her locker before first period when a boy named Jeff approached her. Already, she was being propositioned, but did not take it seriously, as she knew Mike and Jeff had had a few clashes over the years. He was only talking to her to spite Mike.

  Catching sight of him there with her, Mike slammed his locker door and stormed toward them. The look of fury on his face sent Jeff moving away quickly. Spinning her around to face him, he demanded, “I know you better than this. You would never go out with him just to hurt me.”

  Looking up at him, aware that he was hurting just as badly as she was, Robin felt no sense of defiance. He was right; she would never do such a thing to him. Even though the hallway had gone virtually silent, as onlookers watched the exchange, she no longer felt embarrassed as she did the day before. Instead, she wanted the whole thing to be over, the argument, not the relationship. She loved him too and had come to conclude during the sleepless hours of the night, she would forgive him anything.

  Grasping her by the shoulders, he pressed her against the lockers and moved his face nearer to hers. “I swear to you, if he touches you, I’ll kill him!” At this, he slammed his fist into the locker next to hers multiple times.

  She jumped at the sound of the pounding next to her ear, but never once considered he might hit her. He stood there, towering over her, breathing hard and swearing under his breath. While she had never seen him so angry before, still, she felt no fear of him. Looking at his hand, noticing his knuckles were bloody, she reached for it, saying, “Look what you’ve done.”

  He never looked at his hand. Instead, his eyes were trained on hers. “I don’t care. I don’t care about anything else, only you. What happened will never, ever happen again. Please don’t leave me.”

  His voice was anything but quiet. His eyes were moist with tears, and she considered the fact that all of their friends were looking on still. Yet, he was unafraid to fight for her or plead with her, right there in front of them all. He loved her enough to make a fool of himself, and she loved him even more for that. Slipping her arms around his waist, she rested her head on his chest. “I could never leave you.”

  Sitting with Chris, as if reliving the moment even then, Robin could hear Mike as he whispered in her ear, “Never again. Do you hear me? No one but you.” And from then on, that was the way it remained.

  After hearing of her relationship with Mike, Chris felt a peculiar sense of jealousy. He had never known a love like the one she described and grieved the absence of it. Though he had been in what he would call “love,” it was never that deep and lasting kind of love he hoped for. There was a reason he was still unmarried at thirty seven.

  Obviously in her case, it was no more lasting than his had been. So having heard stories of their early relationship and how good things were, he was more than a bit curious to learn how things took such a drastic turn, leaving them divorced and her so damaged.

  “Tell me about your marriage.”

  She sat there, biting at her lip, trying to muddle through the onslaught of memories. Going back to the good times was like a journey home after being away for so many years. “Mike enlisted in the Marines right out of high school, so we married before he left for basic training. I stayed with my parents and started classes at a community college nearby. Immediately after, he was deployed to Afghanistan for a year. It certainly wasn’t easy, but we got through it.”

  “And then?

  “When he came back, he was sent to Camp Pendleton, California. Things were great between us. It was really our beginning as a married couple. We had never been away from home, but somehow, being so far away from family caused us to become closer still.” Thinking about that time together was gut wrenching. He was all she had ever wanted, and at that time, she truly believed she was living out her happily-ever-after.

  “He was deployed again for another year. That year was much more difficult. I was all alone there in California. It was too expensive to fly home often and too far to drive. I got a job and continued taking classes, which helped me somewhat.”

  Naturally, his suspicion was leaning toward post-traumatic stress disorder. Some soldiers came back from war with it. For a man to transform from what she had described so far to a violent abuser, some event or series of them had to trigger it.

  “Once he returned home, he only had another six months left and decided not to re-enlist. We moved back home after that.”

  The look on her face when she spoke of Mike told the story of her love for him. He was surprised at how much more open she was; she seemed almost animated. Her eyes sparkled, danced even, as she recounted stories of their early years together. Only in rare moments, as if she suddenly remembered the love story she recounted no longer existed, her eyes would cloud over with that reality.

  “What was he like when he came home the second time?”

  “Different from the first time. He wasn’t sleeping well and often seemed agitated.” Feeling the need to defend him for some reason she could not understand, she added, “He was never ill with me. He just wasn’t like that. You would have to know him then to understand.” She sighed, filled with regret over what was lost. “He treated me as if I were his whole world. That’s how it always was.” She stopped for a moment, lost in the memory of how much he loved her. He did love her.

  Noticing how far away she seemed, he suggested, “Are you okay? Do you need a break?”

  “A break would be nice. Actually, can we pick back up tomorrow?” Something was stirring in her chest, something she needed time alone to process. A tidal wave of emotions washed over her, causing her to long for those days. No such longing had occurred in many years, and she was unsure how to filter out the good from the bad, the happy from the sad.

  “Your rules, remember?”

  “Again, sorry about yesterday. I shouldn’t have taken off like that. Thanks for not giving up on me.” Grateful, she realized how fortunate she was to have this opportunity. Opening the door to her past was painful and frightening, but necessary if she ever wanted to live again. He was giving her that chance, and she was more than appreciative of it.

  He smiled at her sweetness. “Oh, I imagine it won’t be the only time you try to run. I am patient, though.”

  “Thank you so much. I wonder how I could ever repay you for this.”

  “You don’t have to repay.” Then thinking better of it, he changed his reply. “Who knows, maybe I will think of some way. I’ll let you know.”

  “You do that, anything you say.”

  Cleaning one of the second story guest rooms, Robin was left alone to think. Her mind traveled from place to place, back in time. Giggling, she thought about the donuts. After all those years, it still made her smile.

  Sitting nervously on the side of the bed, Robin looked up at Mike. He was standing there before her, grinning awkwardly. “You know what this reminds me of?” He sat beside her and took her hand.

  “What?”

  “Seven Minutes in Heaven. Remember how we didn’t know what to do?

  “Are you saying you don’t know what to do?” She teased him. They had waited to be married before being together, and she trusted him that he was honest with her about waiting. She was sure of it. After what happened their junior year, she was easily able to trust him again. Something changed between them then. Out of his regret and her heartbreak, there developed a deeper level of intimacy. Their love had become stronger, and both felt a greater sense of commitment than ever before. Now, on their wedding night,
it was finally okay to make love, and there they sat, both nervous, afraid of not knowing what to do or how to please the other.

  “I think I will figure it out.” His grin broadened. Moving in to kiss her, he whispered, “I have waited years for this. You better believe I’ll figure it out.”

  It was sweet and beautiful, and at times, even funny. They giggled in the darkness as they explored each other and all that was finally open to them. It was worth the wait and something tremendously more than either anticipated. They shared something few people ever find, and both were aware of that fact. His love for her ran deep and wide, and she was certain nothing would ever change it.

  The next morning she woke up alone. The hotel room was small, so when she found he was not in the bathroom, she suspected he had gone out to get them something to eat. Wrapping herself in the sheet, she plopped down in the middle of the bed and turned on the TV. Within a few minutes, she heard the key slip into the lock, and he walked in carrying donuts and two jugs of milk. It was their first breakfast together as man and wife.

  When Mike returned home from overseas the first time, Robin picked him up at the bus station. Since she was living at her parents’ and desired privacy for his first night back, she booked them a room at the same hotel. On the way there, he pulled into the parking lot of the donut shop. Smiling mischievously, he admitted, “So we don’t have to get out in the morning.”

  Alone in their room, he knelt before her. “I want to tell you something. Married guys were hooking up with some of the women there. It happened all the time. But I never did. I would never do that to you. There is not another woman in the entire world for me.”

  Sliding her arms around his neck, she said, “Promise me.”

  “I promise, no one but you.”

  That night was different from their wedding night and the few weeks before his departure for basic training. There was an intensity in the way he made love to her that shook her all the way to her soul. Nothing could ever take that kind of love away. She was sure of it.