“Deal.”
“Can I get you anything before I leave?” she asked.
I didn’t know how to ask for what I wanted without sounding vain, but I wanted to see how bad I looked.
“Is there a mirror I can use? And maybe get my brush out of my purse.” I looked around the room, not sure if my belongings had been retrieved from my car. “If it’s here.”
“Are you sure?”
Whoa. Her question gave me pause. What did she mean was I sure? Should I not have been? How bad did I look?
“Um, I thought I was.”
“Oh, sweetie, I didn’t mean the mirror. You’re beautiful. I meant, the brush. You have stitches right on your hairline. You’ll need to be careful not to tug them. Dr. Levine was very careful not to have to shave the area.” Betty pulled a hand mirror out of a drawer and handed it to me. “I think he did a great job. You should only have minimal scaring.”
I held the mirror with shaky hands. Come on, Honor, just look. I brought it up to face level and opened my eyes, the reflection staring back at me could’ve been worse—but it wasn’t all that great. Tiny, black stitches ran nearly an inch across my forehead. Betty was right, the doctor had done a great job staying as close as he could to my hairline. If I wanted to, I could always wear bangs and the scar would be hidden. There was a yellowish bruise around the area and a faint greenish hue on my right cheek and lower eyelid. All in all, it was better than I thought it would be. I looked back at the stitches and changed my mind about brushing my hair.
“Maybe just a hair tie. I’ll wait to brush it.”
“Okay, sweetie.” She opened up the same drawer she’d retrieved the mirror from and pulled a black, elastic hair band off the cardboard packaging. “We keep extras in all the rooms. You know how quickly these little buggers can break. Do you need me to help you? You can’t lift your right arm over your head with the tube in.”
Well, damn. I hadn’t thought about that. Not wanting to put Betty out, I was ready to refuse when the grandmotherly woman stepped to my side and started to gather my hair.
“Thank you,” I told her once she had my hair fastened in a low ponytail.
“Anything you need.”
Ethan opened the door but stopped when he saw Betty.
“Do you need me to wait outside?” His gaze darted between Betty and me.
“No, sir, we’re all done. Buzz me if you need anything.” She patted my shoulder and started for the door. Before she could step back into the hallway Betty snapped her fingers and turned back to us. “Your mother already called the nurses station this morning to check on our beautiful patient. She didn’t want to wake you but asked me to tell you, she’ll be by around three with your daughter. As I know you are aware, no children are allowed on this floor. I will be on break from three to three fifteen.” Then Betty lowered her voice. “Who am I to keep a cute little girl from her mama.”
“Thank you,” Ethan answered.
The door softly clicked behind Betty, and the room filled with trepidation. Mine—not Ethan’s.
“Why didn’t you correct Betty?”
“About what?”
“Come on, Ethan, you know about what.”
“What do you want to start with first?” he asked, ignoring my question.
I knew what he was asking, I just wasn’t sure how to answer. Chrissy following me or Chrissy showing up at the house and him shutting down, pushing me away, and acting like a sulking jerk?
With the ache on my left side intensifying I opted for the more to the point conversation about Chrissy behaving like a stalker and tailing me.
“The accident,” I told him.
“Chrissy was following you, so she could see Carson. That was because when she came to the house on Sunday, I told her no. Her plan was to follow you into the store and watch from a distance so she could see Carson.”
“See her? She didn’t want to take her?”
“No. And she didn’t even really want to talk to her. She just wanted to see her.”
I didn’t understand why Chrissy didn’t want to take Carson. Not that I wasn’t grateful she hadn’t planned on kidnapping her, but that would make more sense to me. Why would a mother only want to see her child?
“That’s crazy! What about Carson? Didn’t she stop to think about what it would do to her? A strange woman shows up and says hey, I’m your mom. I just wanted to stop by and see how pretty you are, but I don’t want anything to do with you. No fucking way!” Ethan’s smile took me off guard. “What?”
“That’s exactly what I said to her on Sunday before I told her to go home and never come back.”
“But she didn’t listen,” I said unnecessarily.
“She didn’t. And now I’m torn between being fucking furious and beyond grateful. Who knows what would’ve happened if Chrissy hadn’t been there. She was the first on the scene and was able to give you the medical care you needed on site as well as in the ambulance.”
Shit on a shingle. His feelings mirrored my own. I wished to God Chrissy would’ve never shown up at all, but if she hadn’t been there, I could’ve died.
“What about Carson? What did she say to her? Did she tell her?”
Anxiety crept in and threatened to choke me. Carson would have so many questions.
“Chrissy didn’t have any interaction with her other than treating her at the scene. When Chrissy came into the waiting area to tell everyone you were out of surgery, my mom took Carson out of the room.” Ethan stopped and inhaled, holding his breath for a moment before he blew it out. So much pain passed over his features before he began again. “Though, you should know, after she told me she’d witnessed the accident and was able to give the make and model, as well as, a partial plate, I offered her the opportunity to talk to Carson.”
“You what? Why, Ethan?”
“She saved your life,” he mumbled. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d lost you. I felt obligated. If there’s one feeling I hate, it’s guilt. And I’d rather you and I have to answer questions from Carson, rather than feel guilty for the rest of my life. Chrissy gave life to the two most important people to me. One she saved, one she bore. I felt like I owed it to her.”
I didn’t know what to say to Ethan. I was in the same predicament as him. I didn’t particularly like the woman and I really hated what this could mean for Carson, but the fact remained—Chrissy had been in the right place at the right time. And as much as I wanted to pretend she didn’t exist, she did. And if I was going to be in Carson’s and Ethan’s lives, I’d have to accept that fact.
“What did she say? Did Carson talk to her?” I held my breath waiting for his answer. I was pretty sure the answer was, no. Carson would’ve told me.
“No. Chrissy changed her mind. Upon further reflection, she agreed it was selfish of her to speak to Carson when she had no intention of being a part of her life. But she did have a request.”
“What kind of request?”
If Chrissy thought she was seeing Ethan again, she had another thing coming. As grateful as I was, I wasn’t that grateful. There was no way I was allowing her to spend any more time with him just so she could fuck with his head.
“She wants to check on you before she goes home.”
“Check on me?”
“That’s what she said.”
What the fuck? What was her game?
“What did you tell her?”
“That it was up to you and I’d talk to you about it.”
“Huh?”
“If you don’t want to, I’ll tell her to fuck off. If you’d like to talk to her, I’ll be here with you—or not. Whichever you prefer.”
“You’d let me talk to her?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
I was about to remind him of all the reasons I’d think he wouldn’t let me when a sharp, stabbing pain radiated from my left side.
“Time for your pain meds, smalls. We’ll continue this later.”
I didn’t bother
arguing with him, the pain was that bad. I knew I’d be out in a matter of minutes after the nurse gave me the medication, and I welcomed the dark abyss.
I was impressed Ethan had been so forthcoming. Not that he’d divulged any deep, dark secrets but at least he wasn’t shutting me out. I’d give him points for that, though he was still a long way away from earning my trust back. I was relieved we had a start. I didn’t want to lose Carson and Ethan, but I had to put myself first in this situation. Maybe I should’ve felt a little guilty, but I didn’t. If I didn’t value myself and my needs, how would he? And if he didn’t, how would we ever truly be happy?
Relationships were about give and take, and right now it was my turn to take. If he could give me this one small thing, I could spend the rest of my life making sure he and Carson were happy.
24
I was happy Honor had spent most of the day resting. She woke up when my mom and Carson came for a visit and stayed awake for the fifteen minutes the nurse was away and Carson could be in her room. Within minutes of their departure she fell back to sleep.
Dr. Levine had come in and checked the incision from her splenectomy and assured us it looked great and was healing. He was also happy with the progress her lung had made. She’d have another x-ray tomorrow, and he’d make the decision then about when he’d release her. Honor drifted in and out of sleep the whole time the doctor was examining her and she hadn’t woken up until dinner time. After complaining the food tasted like shit, I ignored her protests and called my dad. He dropped off a bowl of chicken soup and bread, along with some pre-approved snacks.
A knock on the door drew my attention from the conversation my dad and Honor were having, and I found Lorenz standing in the doorway with a huge bouquet of flowers.
“Hope this isn’t a bad time” He entered the small room, walking towards me.
“Not at all.” I stood and shook my partner’s hand.
“I was gonna call but I wanted to bring these by.” He set the vase down on a side table and turned to Honor. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I slammed into a pole.” She smiled and laughed when Lorenz’s scowl matched mine. I hadn’t meant to allow the growl to slip past my lips, but I didn’t see anything funny about her almost dying. “Jeez. Lighten up. I feel fine. A little tired and sore. But I think I’ll live. Thank you for the flowers. They’re beautiful.”
“You’re welcome. Mind if I steal Ethan away for a minute?”
“Wait. Is this about the accident?” Honor asked.
Lorenz shifted his gaze to me, confirming he indeed had news. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, I didn’t want to discuss the case in front of Honor. Yet, I knew I had too. I couldn’t continue to keep things from her, even if I knew they were going to stress her out or scare her.
“It’s okay. Whatever it is, Honor needs to know.”
“All right, brother. But brace, this shit is whacked. We made an arrest this afternoon—Samuel Harris.”
“What? Why did you arrest Sam?” Honor asked.
“I knew there was something off about that motherfucker,” I spit out. “Did you get a confession?”
“No and we won’t need it. We ran the partial plate, and when Sam’s name came up, we went to interview him at the Gold Suites, where he and his father are staying. We found his car in the parking lot. Left front bumper is torn to hell and white paint from Honor’s Honda was clearly visible.”
“What?” Honor repeated horrified. “Sam ran me off the road?”
“I’m afraid it looks that way,” Lorenz told her.
Fuck. This was my fault, I should’ve done something to keep Sam and Frank away from Honor. I didn’t like the way Sam was eyeing her the night at the restaurant, and the congressman had out and out threatened her.
“What about Frank?”
“He has an alibi. His aide swears they were in his room all day going over budget cuts.”
“Shit. You know he’s involved.”
“You’ll never prove it,” Honor spoke up. “Jessica, his aide, will lie through her teeth for him. She’s one of his many mistresses. It’s been going on for years. She’ll swear to anything he tells her too. I can see Frank wanting me dead. But Sam? He’s too weak. He’s a puppet. But I guess if Frank ordered him to kill me, he obviously would. Or try at least.”
“Frank is distancing himself from his son. He sent a lawyer but has yet to go to central booking and see him.”
“Thank you for catching who did this to me.” Her tone was hushed. “I’m sorry, Ethan. Carson could’ve been injured, and it would’ve been my fault. He was trying to hurt me.”
“No, smalls. It would’ve been Sam’s fault. I should’ve taken their threats seriously.”
“He threatened Honor?” My dad had his hands tightly clinched, and the vein on the side of his neck pulsed. “Why didn’t you come to me?”
“I asked him not to.” Honor turned her head towards him, a pained look on her face. “I was embarrassed about my association with them. And then there was Frank’s plan. I didn’t want you and Lily to know.”
“Don’t make excuses for me, Honor. I should’ve known better. I told you, you don’t have anything to be embarrassed about. This is on me. I didn’t take him seriously.”
I spent the next thirty minutes explaining Frank’s desire to force Honor to marry Greg, the threats he’d made, however I did leave out the contract. That was something I’d tell my dad in private. Honor answered the questions my dad and Lorenz had, albeit with hesitation and rosy cheeks.
“I’ll ask Levi and Blake to comb through Frank’s life. Sam’s, too,” my dad announced when I was done filling them in.
“You don’t have to,” Honor told him.
“Yeah, I do. Neither of them will be a problem for you. From here on out, you’re protected. If you see Frank, you call one of us.”
Honor assessed the situation and came to the right decision. Arguing with my dad wasn’t going to get her anywhere. Lorenz made his exit, and my dad stood to follow. Before he left the room, he gave Honor some truths about my family.
“I hope you don’t think I’m stepping out of bounds here, but there are a few things you need to understand. We protect what’s ours. And not just me and Ethan. Jasper, Clark, and Levi will protect you as well. It’s what we do. You’re family, Honor, one of us. That means you fall under the umbrella of protection. You never, and I mean never, feel ashamed or too embarrassed to come to us. Ethan loves you, and that’s all we need to know about what kind of woman you are.”
Honor didn’t answer, instead her lips pinched together, tears filled her eyes, and she nodded her understanding.
“Thanks, Dad.” I reached out my hand to shake his, and he pulled me in for a hug and whispered, “Do whatever you have to do to make sure she doesn’t walk away. Now is the time to grovel. And son, it doesn’t make you less of a man—it makes you a smart one.”
“I plan to.”
“Good.” He stepped away from me and opened the door. “I’m out of here. My granddaughter has requested mint chocolate chip ice cream.”
“Dad—”
“Son, there’s nothing you can say that’s going to stop me from spoiling her. Save your breath.”
“Right.”
“See you both tomorrow.”
My dad left, leaving me with a crying Honor. I carefully sat on the bed and gathered both her hands in mine and waited for her to look at me.
“You okay?” I asked.
“I can’t believe Sam tried to kill me.”
“I can. I knew there was something wrong with the way he was staring at you at the restaurant. Combine that with all the stalkerish shit he did when you were teenagers—I should’ve been more careful.
“This isn’t your fault.”
“Sure it is.”
“You mean like it would’ve been my fault if Carson got hurt?”
I clenched my jaw to prevent myself from sounding like a misogynist pig. I doubted she want
ed to hear how it was my job, as the man, to protect her—and I’d failed. Not to mention, Carson had been in the car. It was absolutely my job to keep her safe.
“Point taken. How’s your pain level? Tired?”
“I’m fine. Will you tell me about last Sunday?” she asked.
I wished we were at home, so I could lie next her and gather her in my arms. I didn’t want to talk to her about Chrissy, but if I had to, I’d prefer it be done while I could hold her close.
“I was so scared to tell my parents. Did I tell you where we were when I told them?” She shook her head and I chuckled at the memory. “My cousin Nick’s housewarming party. Everyone was there. I’d kept the secret for like a week, and it was eating away at me. I had to get it off my chest so I could breathe. I think I told them there so my dad couldn’t kill me, too many witnesses. Which was stupid, my uncles would have helped him bury my body and never ask questions. I was most afraid to see the disappointment on their faces. But, as mad as they were, they supported me. My mom’s only request was that I finish school. And my dad actually told me he was proud I’d decided to step up and be a father. But I was still scared and doubted I could do it.”
“But you had your family, Ethan. You know they’d never let you fail.”
“I knew that. But I was still secretly pissed I was willing to own my responsibilities, but Chrissy was going to walk away.” I stopped to contemplate my next words. I had to tell Honor everything, even the ugly parts, if I wanted her to understand. I hoped like hell she wouldn’t think less of me once she knew the type of person I was. “When I brought Carson home from the hospital my world changed. My friends disappeared, my opportunities, my goals, my dreams—all gone. I was no longer living for myself but for Carson. That’s what a parent does. But a sixteen-year-old parent who never had a chance to grow up starts to become resentful. I resented Chrissy’s ability to realize every dream she ever had. The military was no longer an option for me. Something I’d wanted since I was a little boy. I always knew I’d follow in my dad’s footsteps. But I felt like Chrissy had stolen that from me. I hated her for it. Then there was no more going to regular school for me. I isolated myself because I was so different from all my old friends. I had a baby and all the responsibility that came with her. I refused to let her down. I threw myself into homeschool and then found a career where I could still protect and serve, even if it wasn’t in the way I’d always dreamt of.”
Chasing Honor (The Next Generation Book 2) Page 18