Spec (Defenders M.C, Book 6)

by Anderson, Amanda

  He pushed the door to the kitchen open to find a few of the brothers sitting at one of the long low tables. Mike looked up from where he sat with his plate.

  “Spec.”

  “Vest.”

  Mike frowned as he always did when anyone used the moniker Angel had pegged him with. Spec hid a grin.

  “And what are you doing here this morning?”

  “Marty is grouchy as a she-bear and sick again. Didn’t feel like eating cereal again so I came here for something hot. She can’t stand to smell anything cooking.”

  Spec noticed Mike looked pale and worn. The stress of almost losing her had gotten to him along with the bullet he took to the back to save her.

  “How’s the back?”

  “Sore as fuck, but I had to get out for a while. She doesn’t need to be babying me.”

  Spec grinned. Marty had put Mike through the ringer since their first meeting and it looked like he was still suffering.

  “Ready to move back in upstairs yet?”

  Mike met his eyes then and he saw gut-wrenching sorrow. “No man. I’ll never leave her again. I could take this shit for years and never want to leave her again.” Mike sighed. “To be honest I’ve been watching the clock until I can go back.”

  Spec nodded. He was surprised Mike spoke to him at all after what had happened. It had been his fault Marty had been taken. He’d let personal issues get in the way of club business and it had almost cost Marty her life.

  “I’m sorry Mike…I…”

  Mike shook his head. “It turned out.” He shrugged. “And from what I heard you helped watch after her after we got her back. I know I don’t know all of it, but I know you did your part. That shit is on that asshole Dax, may he rot in hell. You’ve got to stop this shit every time I see you, it’s depressing.” Mike took a long drink of soda from the can he held.

  Absolution felt good even if he didn’t deserve it. “She doing alright with everything?”

  “She’s fine. The girls showed up an hour ago talking wedding shit and I got out while she had company.” He grinned. “Well, she kicked me out and said she needed an hour without me feeling her up.” He shrugged. “Damned sexy with that little baby bump growing and her tits getting bigger.

  Spec laughed, but took a minute to study Mike. Something was off. “You aren’t sleeping.”

  Mike’s eyes jerked to Spec. “How the fuck…” He shook his head. “Never mind. Not much, no. She’s having dreams and I can’t stand it. Every time I drift off she screams and scares the shit out of me so I try to sleep a little during the days, but my nerves are on edge still.”

  Spec nodded. After everything Marty had been through it wasn’t unusual. “She’ll settle. Too bad you can’t just get her drunk.”

  Mike cracked a grin. “That’s the fucking truth.”

  Spec nudged him with his elbow. “Dreams the only thing keeping her up nights?” He raised his brows. “Your dick stop workin’?”

  “Fuuuuuck you. Hell no my dick is just fine and there is plenty of that too.” His grin was evil when he met Spec’s eyes. “From what I hear yours is too.”

  Spec felt his brows raise. “Was there ever a question?”

  “Well since you and Lizzie…” Mike shrugged.

  “Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie….Lizzie was, is a friend. She needed something I was willing to give.” He shrugged as if it didn’t rip his heart out.

  “Yeah I bet it was real hard on you too.”

  Spec grinned. “Not for long. What the fuck did you hear about my dick that has you so excited?”

  Mike met his eyes. “Heard Pick is out for blood. Heard you fucked Candy and had her screamin’ so loud the brothers had to turn up the music.” He pointed to the wall roughly where Spec’s bedroom sat. “Walls ain’t that thick brother. Not when you’ve got a screamer.”

  Spec felt his ears heat. He was able to control every part of his body except his damned ears. He didn’t know what to say.

  Mike shrugged. “She’s a pretty good girl, you planning on keepin’ that? Making a claim?”

  “Yeah I am.” It felt strange admitting it, but he’d had this in his head for a while and after the heart she had shown last night in handling Pick’s stupidity, it had all fallen into place.

  Mike stood and clapped him on the shoulder. “Good. She’s a sweet girl, hope she makes you happy. Do it soon though. Now that she’s free you won’t be the only one with that idea. Glad Ace ain’t around to see that fucker treatin’ her like shit. The old man would have cut off Pick’s balls by now.”

  Spec watched Mike toss his plate in the trash and disappear through the door leading to the main room. Spec sat there for a few minutes trying to gather his thoughts. A few sweet butts wandered around half cleaning the place. He didn’t understand how they stood it. They were fucked like animals all night, sucked every dick in the house, and expected to get up and clean the place up before the brothers woke up. It was a shitty life. He was thankful Candy had never fallen into that category, or not for long at least. It did something to the women after a while.

  A woman stumbled through the door dragging a huge garbage bag. Her party make up was mostly gone and what was left was smeared. She looked like a horror movie and Spec shook his head. Her clothes were rumpled and he didn’t even want to think about what stained her red halter top. He tried to think of her name, but there were so many women that frequented the club that he couldn’t remember her specific name, just that he had cleared her to be there.

  She bent over in front of him to dig another bag out from under the kitchen sink and he got a bird’s eye view of everything she had to offer thanks to which ever brother had done away with her panties the night before.

  “For fuck’s sake, I don’t want to see that shit.” He spat in outrage. It was not a pretty sight and he hadn’t even had coffee yet.

  She looked over her shoulder and gifted him with a gruesome smile as she shook her ass.

  “Come on now baby, don’t you have anything for me this morning? I woke up all needy and everybody else is all passed out.”

  She stood and sauntered over to him, well he was sure she meant it to be seductive, but it just looked painful.

  “From what I saw, you have had enough.”

  “Well maybe you could give it another look. Heard you’re real smart, like some kind of genius or somethin’. I could use an exam.”

  She slid onto the table across from him and spread her legs. Spec was glad he hadn’t eaten yet. Her pussy looked like you could park a truck in it and she wouldn’t even feel it.

  She slid her long red tipped fingers down until they dipped into the cave she called a pussy. Spec wondered if he yelled in it if it might echo.

  “I have no doubt that you could benefit from a physician’s care, but I am actually unqualified as well as the fact that I lack the box of gloves I would need to feel safe enough to touch that.” He nodded toward her open thighs.

  “Oh come on now. I’m not sure I’m getting wet enough for my men. Want to come over here and see if you can fix that? I’m feeling wetter just thinking about your cock sliding into me.”

  “I’m pretty certain you wouldn’t know it if I stuck my whole arm in that.” He stood and waved his hand at her spread thighs. “Put that thing away. You are spoiling my breakfast.”

  He heard a giggle and turned to find Candy standing in the doorway all sleep ruffled and adorable. She wore her jeans, but had slipped on his one of his t-shirts. The pairing took his breath away. Even with her short hair standing up in all directions she was stunning.

  “God you’re beautiful in the morning.” He whispered without thinking and was gifted with a bright smile.

  He heard a curse and the rustling of fabric, but he didn’t care. All his thoughts were on Candy.

  Damn he was an idiot.

  She blushed and looked away. “I thought I would make you breakfast, but you were gone already.”

  He heard the uncertainty in her voice and rushed to
reassure her. “I wanted to make something for you, but there was nothing to fix.” He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. “Don’t sit there ever again. Pretty fucking sure that table needs to be burned…”

  She laughed and he heard the woman who had been sitting on said table curse.

  “We could go to my place…” Her cheeks pinked. “I could fix you something.”

  Spec was nodding before she finished her sentence. He pulled her from the room and noticed she shivered when the cool air hit her skin. He stepped back to his door and unlocked it. He grabbed his leather jacket and draped it over her shoulders. He rarely got cold and the way his blood was pumping today he was surprised his shirt wasn’t smoking.

  She grinned and slid her arms into the sleeves.

  “Thank you.”

  “Is your car here?”

  “Yeah, but it was making a horrible sound when I got here so I doubt it would make it home. I’ll just figure out what to do about it later.”

  “Let me take care of it.” He cut off her protest when he leaned over and kissed her lips. She tasted like mint and he smiled against her lips. “Did you use my toothpaste?”

  “Mhmm.” She said without breaking the kiss.

  He reached up and grasped her chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Good. Now open up and let me taste you.

  He kissed her like she was nectar from the gods. He sipped from her lips as if they held the very essence of life and he needed every drop. They were also standing in front of the club house in plain sight of anyone who might be looking. That gave Candy a thrill. Spec wasn’t ashamed to be with her. She wasn’t a dirty little secret to him.

  He led her to his big Harley and she got her first close up look at it. It wasn’t as flashy as some of the others. It was so dark green that it looked black until the sun hit it just right. There were subtle lines in gold on the paint and when Candy’s brows furrowed he grinned.

  “Ghosts.” He kissed her nose and helped her climb on behind him.

  Ghosts. She couldn’t help the shiver. She didn’t believe in them exactly, but the thought that she could be wrong always made her stay away from places they might want to hang around.

  She wrapped her arms around Spec and pressed her cheek to his warm back. She had heard stories of how he liked to drive and she felt her stomach do a little flip at the thought of him being dangerous on the road. His hand encased hers for a few beats as if to reassure her.

  He cranked the heavy machine under them and the vibration sent a tingle through Candy’s core. This was like a dream.

  Her fears were banished when Spec took to the road. Never once did he frighten her or do anything she could call dangerous. She felt safe snuggled behind him and that was a feeling she never took for granted.

  Four

  Damn he was going to rot in hell for this shit. Spec pulled on his boots and tried not to think about how good it had felt to slide into Candy. She was perfect for him and for some damned reason he couldn’t stop thinking with his dick long enough to show her she was something more to him than a fuck.

  “What are you doing?” She wore a little frown on her pink lips and Spec felt his dick go from sated to hard in an instant. He hissed as the traitorous organ swelled in his pants. She hadn’t done anything but step from the bathroom to the bedroom and wore simple pink panties with a white tank top. She didn’t even have to try and she had him worked up like a teenager.

  “I can’t do this!” He turned to leave the bedroom. Something like panic clawed at him as he reached the front door, but he couldn’t find his damned keys! Candy was making him into an idiot. He stomped back to her bedroom determined to find his keys and then find some space to get his head out of his ass, but when he opened the door he found her curled up on the bed. Her shoulders shook and her sniffles grated on his ears.

  He pushed both hands through his hair and just watched her.

  “Candy?”

  She looked up, her wide green eyes were filled with tears and her look was guarded.

  “Fuck.” He stepped closer and she gripped the sheet as if it would somehow protect her.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.” He ran his hands through his hair again and adjusted his glasses.

  “It’s ok. I know what I am. After last night I knew it was only a matter of time before…” She choked on a sob and Spec lost the last shred of his resolve. He sat on the side of her bed and pulled her into his arms, pink sheet and all.

  “Listen to me. I have been waiting a damned long time for you to be free of that asshole. I know you loved him, or thought you did, and I wanted to give you time to get over him without giving you room to get away, but I wanted to wait for all this until you were sure, but fuck if I could wait.” He leaned down and kissed her tears away. “I don’t want to mess this up Candy. I want more than just sex.”

  A sob wrenched from her throat and he pulled her closer, resting his chin on her head.

  “I don’t love him Spec. I just loved the thought of him is all. I don’t know. I’m so screwed up. Things weren’t supposed to be like this. This is not what I expected at all. I thought I mattered to him, but I never really did. It was all in my head wasn’t it? I made it all up and he wasn’t here to show me the truth. I’m such an idiot.”

  He kissed her head. “We are all screwed up Candy. This shit has to be hard on you and I wanted to be here for you, be your friend for a while, but damn it I wanted you. I’ve wanted you for more than two years. I’ve got shit in my past, in my life that I don’t know how to handle, but I know that I want you and I know that I can do everything to make you happy.” He leaned back and looked at her. “And this is not in your head. This is me telling you that I want you. I’m not playing games here. I may not act the way men usually do, but I don’t want you to doubt that I want you.” He took a deep breath. “I may not be here all the time and I may get wrapped up in shit that makes me crazy, but I want this.” He held her tight and kissed her head.

  “I can’t believe this right now Spec. I don’t know how to believe it. I don’t know how to trust anything I feel. What if it fades away and we are both stuck?”

  He sighed. “First off we have to keep our clothes on.” He looked down in time to see hurt flash across her face. “We have to give you time to heal and to be able to trust me.”

  “I would fuck you all the damned time Candy and I want more than that. Sex feeds something in me. It silences something, but I won’t use you that way. I want more than that and we will take things slow. We will get to know each other and if things cool between us then we will still have a friendship to hang onto. I will always be here for you.”

  “I thought you didn’t think much of me. You never were too friendly.”

  Spec shook his head and looked down into her heart shaped face. She reminded him of a pixie, a bad assed bicker chick pixie. He grinned and kissed her nose.

  “I liked you more than I knew what to do with Pixie. I wanted to do the right thing, but now I want…”

  “What do you want Spec?”

  He closed his eyes. “First I want you to call me by my name, not all the time because most of the brothers don’t even know it and I kind of like that. Keeps me mysterious, dangerous.” He grinned and shrugged.

  “What is your name?”

  “Adam. When it’s just us I want to just be Adam, like we’re normal people. Like I’m just a man loving a woman.”

  Her arms wrapped around him and this time she gave him comfort he had needed for too long.

  “Have you ever asked anyone to call you by your name?”

  He shook his head feeling like a fool.

  “Not even Lizzie?”

  He shook his head. That made her feel special.

  “What else do you want Adam?”

  Shit. He felt moisture gathering in his eyes. No woman had used his name in so long, not one who held him and talked to him in that sweet voice. He couldn’t seem to find his voice. He felt his dick go hard
and he slid his hands down Candy’s back until he grasped her ass. He lifted her until she straddled his hips.

  “I need to fuck you Candy.” He closed his eyes as shame burned through him. He couldn’t control this part of himself, he’d never been able to. This was the only escape he had found in his life that had brought him a measure of peace.

  She just nodded and lifted her shirt letting it fall to the bedroom floor. Her hands unbuckled his belt as she pushed him to his back and stood. He let her pull his pants to his knees before she slipped out of her panties.

  “One more time Adam and then we are going to go find something to eat and we are going to talk. I don’t know if I can tell you no next time, but I will try if it’s what you need me to do.”

  She slid his dick into her body and he let his eyes roll back in his head. Nothing ever felt like this. Nothing ever silenced the demons like this, but this time it was different somehow. He wanted Candy for more than a quick fuck, he wanted to stay with her.

  He groaned as she set a fast pace. He opened his eyes to watch her wondrous tits bounce as she rode him. His hands captured the perfect globes and squeezed.

  She threw her head back and moaned his name and something snapped inside of him. He rolled her to her back and pulled out of her. Her mouth opened in question, but he shook his and undressed. There would be no more fucking with Candy, there would be something more with her or nothing.

  He climbed back on the bed and kissed his way from her hip to her hard, pink nipples. His mouth watered as he touched one taught tip with his tongue. Then he groaned. She tasted like heaven. He couldn’t help himself. He felt like a starving man and she was his only nourishment. He suckled at her breasts until she writhed on the bed and clawed at his back. His dick slid against her thigh, still slick from her juices.