by K. A. Linde
I cleared my throat. “So, uh, what did you think?”
“Not bad.”
“Not bad? Are you joking?”
“Pretty good.”
“I’ll show you pretty good when we get our targets back, and I kicked your ass.”
“So competitive.”
“Aren’t you?”
“Oh, absolutely,” he said. “But watching you makes me want to get out of here, Jules.”
“Does it?” I asked breathily. I placed my gun down and fully faced him.
“You know it does.”
“Is that what this is?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking. “Just sex…again?”
“No,” he answered automatically.
“Are you sure?” I was being combative for no reason.
“I’m here on your terms. You know I want you. But I’m fucking trying. Why can’t I want you without an argument?”
I held my hands up in surrender. He was right. Not that I wanted to say that out loud.
“It’s hard after what happened last time.”
“Living in the past is a surefire way to screw this up.”
“I know,” I whispered. But that was my life. I couldn’t stop living in the past. “Let’s start over. Hi, I’m Julia Banner.”
I extended my hand to him, and he firmly took it in his own.
“Austin Wright.”
He tugged me toward him so that we were between the lanes. Movement was going on all around us. It was loud as hell. And we probably were supposed to be focused on the shooting range. But none of that mattered.
My body was pressed against his, and everywhere he touched sent shivers straight through me. His hand tilted my chin up toward him. Our eyes locked, as if he was waiting for permission, making sure I wouldn’t snap at him, as I had in the past. But all he saw from me was compliance. Maybe I did need to live in the present more.
His lips touched down on mine, and I surrendered to him.
For a moment, the stars aligned. The world felt right. Just the taste of his lips and the incredible feel of him against me. The memories of days spent locked together flooded my conscience. As Austin took over, I released into a free fall.
Thirteen
Julia
A throat cleared behind us.
“If you’re going to make out, do it somewhere else.”
I laughed and pulled back from Austin. “Sorry,” I said with a shrug that showed how sorry I really was.
“We were just leaving anyway,” Austin said.
“We were?”
“Yeah. Let’s get out of here. We can come back another day.”
I arched an eyebrow. “Already planning a second date? You’re very confident.”
“You can pretend to hate that about me if you like.”
Cocky bastard.
Of course I didn’t hate his confidence. It had always been a huge turn-on. Even when everything about him drew me crazy, I still knew it was hot. And my body was torn halfway between relishing this date and wanting to push his buttons just for fun.
“But there are so many other things to pretend to hate about you,” I said, batting my eyelashes.
Austin shook his head at me. I could tell that he wanted to press his luck and inch closer to me again. That kiss had been…electric. A current of energy that had trapped us in a whirlwind. I hadn’t wanted to stop…and I wouldn’t have if we hadn’t been interrupted.
It was so easy to be caught up in Austin. I needed to be careful, or I wouldn’t make it through the night with my heart intact.
I carefully replaced my Glock in its case while Austin returned his to the front. Our targets were pulled down and handed to us as a souvenir. I grinned like a fool when it was clear that my aim was much better than Austin’s. Not that he was bad, but I was better.
“Luck,” Austin said as we left the shooting range.
“Ha! Sore loser!”
“Well, if I was there as often as you, then I’d be as good.”
“Yeah, but you’re not.”
I popped open my Tahoe and placed the case into a carrier under my seat, so it wouldn’t slip around. Then, I raised my hands over my head and stretched. I could feel Austin’s eyes on the bare strip of stomach I was revealing.
“So,” I said, dropping my arms, “where are we off to? Do I need to change?”
“Uh, yeah, no. You’re fine.” He gestured to the dark jeans and black polo he was wearing.
“Right.”
“And where we’re going is a surprise.”
I narrowed my eyes. A surprise from Austin. I wasn’t sure what that meant exactly.
“Let’s drop your car off first,” Austin said to keep me from arguing. “Then, I can drive you around all night.”
“Sure. Sounds good,” I agreed easily.
He raised his eyebrows at the ease of my compliance, but in that moment, I decided to go all in. No more hesitating at everything he did. No more second-guessing motives. I wasn’t going to have a good time if I didn’t relax and try to enjoy this date. Austin and I could fight like cats and dogs, but I wanted to prove to myself that we could do more than that. That we were capable of just being Austin and Julia…like we had at the art gallery. I wanted more of that Austin.
It was a quick drive to my apartment where I ditched my Tahoe and ran inside to secure my gun back in its safe in my closet. Then, I hurried back out and slid into the passenger seat of Austin’s Alfa Romeo. Being in his car again brought back a flood of memories. When we had been together before, everything had been so easy. So effortless. It was as if things were really supposed to be like this all the time.
I’d fooled myself into believing it. And I didn’t know why I was giving Austin a second chance. But I needed to toss the memories aside and live for today.
“So…dinner?” I asked. “I’m already starving.”
“Shooting takes it out of you, doesn’t it?”
“It’s like I ran a marathon.”
“Same. That was a total adrenaline rush though. I see why you do it so often.”
I frowned and glanced away. No one really knew why I went to the shooting range that often. But it for sure was not for the adrenaline rush. That was more of a bonus.
“Food then?”
“Don’t worry, Jules. I’ll take care of you.”
I leaned back against the leather seat, enjoying the sentiment. I’d thought he’d want to take me to a fancy dinner. It seemed like a Wright move. And, while we were in West Texas, where jeans, boots, and belt buckles were common dinner attire, I knew Austin preferred to dress up for such occasions. That likely ruled a fancy dinner out of the equation.
It felt nice, letting someone else take the lead for once. Even if nerves hit me, I liked the idea of Austin taking care of me. I had been in charge of my relationship with Trevor. One hundred fifty percent. And, already, I could feel myself handing over some of that control that I clung so desperately to. It was terrifying and refreshing.
We were past the loop and halfway out of town when I sat up to appreciate the flat farm fields on either side of us. The country? We are going into the country? Now, that was unexpected.
“Where the hell are you taking me, Wright?”
He laughed. “Well, your stipulations made it a little difficult.”
“I had one stipulation.”
“Sure, but I wanted to do it right.”
“Right or Wright?”
He rolled his eyes at my inflection. “Both.”
The first indication of where we were going was the Ferris wheel on the horizon. My jaw dropped, and I turned to face Austin in wonder. He had put some effort into all of this. I hadn’t even known there was a carnival happening right now. I would have thought it would be too hot.
“I hope you like carnival rides.”
“You are full of surprises,” I admitted.
He parked in the open field next to the carnival and helped me out of the passenger side. I glanced at the dirt on his shin
y car.
“We probably should have brought the Tahoe.”
His hand slowly slid into mine, and he tugged me close. “I don’t mind getting a little dirty.”
“You or the car?”
“Yes.”
I laughed. Of course.
Austin looked like he wanted to kiss me but instead locked our fingers together and walked me to the entrance. I sighed at the ease with which we were together. Hard to believe that I had been screaming at him only a couple of days ago.
Okay…it probably wasn’t that hard to believe. Austin and I were only extreme highs and extreme lows. It was why those weeks we’d dated were some of the best of my life…and any time I’d spent with him after were some of the worst.
We headed straight for the heavily caffeinated, fried, and sugary foods.
“What are you in for, Jules?” Austin said.
“Funnel cake!”
“You’re going for a sugar high?”
“Best high out there, trust me.”
Austin ordered us two cheeseburgers, two giant Cokes, and a hand-battered, powdered-sugar-covered, deep-fried funnel cake that made me bounce up and down with excitement.
We carried our food to a wooden picnic bench and plopped down. I saw Austin look up at a sign over my head with a wistful glance. I craned around to see what he was looking at. The stand next to the burger place had a sign offering ice-cold beers.
Oh.
“Are you doing okay?” I asked, picking at my burger.
“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”
I almost believed him. Except I didn’t. He might seem as if he was doing really good on the outside. Great even. But I knew better.
“You know the road ahead isn’t going to be easy.”
“The road ahead?”
“Withdrawal,” I said in a small voice. “It’s going to be really hard.”
“I suspect it will be.”
“You don’t have to do it alone. You have people who care about you, you know?”
Austin reached forward and took my hand. “I’m doing fine, Jules. It’s a slow process. I’m not going to go cold turkey. It’ll take time, but as long as I’m with you, I feel like I can do anything.”
I smiled shyly at him. A flush crept up my neck and flooded my cheeks. I wasn’t used to feeling this way. As if everything really was going to be all right. That, even though it was a hard road, we might be able to make it through together. The way I’d made it through all the shit that had happened to me with the help of a close friend. Maybe I could be that person for Austin.
I ignored the part of my brain that said it wasn’t possible.
That part of my brain was a bitch.
Fourteen
Austin
I actually believed that.
That I could change the world with Julia at my side. I’d been ignoring my feelings for her for a long time. Longer than she even knew. But, now that we were here together, that felt stupid. I wanted to keep my job, I wanted Julia, I wanted to live longer than my dad. If I had to give up alcohol for all of that…it was feasible. At least, I hoped so.
“Well, what about your art?” I asked, veering the conversation to safer territory, as she tore into the sticky funnel cake.
White powder coated her face, and she laughed as she tried to wipe the sugar from her mouth and fingers. She put one finger into her mouth and sucked it down to the end. She made a little pop sound as it left her lips. Her dark eyes met mine, and a seductive smile appeared. For a second, the carnival disappeared. All I could see was a fucking beautiful woman sucking off her own fingers like I knew she could suck off my cock. And I wanted it.
Goddamn control!
Why did I have to have some? Why did I want this to go right so bad? Fuck everything else; I would be happy to find the back of a booth or the open field or even my tiny little car. But I knew she deserved more.
“Austin?” she said in that throaty deep voice.
“Uh, yeah?” I had to shake myself out of my trance. I was glad that we were sitting down.
“I asked what you wanted to know about my art.”
“Right.” I picked myself out of the gutter. “What have you done lately?”
“Nothing,” she said with a nonchalant shrug that I knew was anything but.
“Why not? With your talent, you could have your own studio exhibit downtown.”
“I don’t feel inspired.”
I shot her an exasperated look. “Tell me what we have to do to inspire you. Because you cannot waste that talent.”
“Austin—”
“No, Jules, you need to be in classes. You need your own studio. Practice makes perfect and all that. If you’re helping me, then don’t think I’m going to sit back and let you ignore something that brings you joy.”
“Who the hell are you, and what have you done with Austin Wright?” she asked with a flirtatious smile.
I held my hands out to the sides. “Same person I’ve always been.”
She snorted. “We’ll see.”
We finished off the rest of our food and dumped it in a trash can before walking around the carnival. I reached for her hand, and she didn’t bite my head off when I took it.
“Oh, look, progress,” I muttered under my breath.
Her eyes shot to mine. “Don’t make me cut you.”
“Well, the last couple of times I’ve tried this, you almost did.”
“You were being a dick.”
I shrugged. “Can’t change the way we are together.”
“So, I should be jumping down your throat.”
“With your tongue preferably.”
“Pig.”
But her tone was light, and her eyes were sparkling. I was ready to get back to what we had started at the shooting range. As soon as I pushed, she’d pull back. She seemed determined for this to be a normal date. I thought it was interesting that she thought we could ever be normal. Hadn’t she dumped that boring douche from accounting because she didn’t want that shit?
“Take it or leave it, babe.”
“I’ll think on it.”
I’d take that.
We spent the next hour riding all of the rickety high-speed rides that made my heightened nausea grow. This no-drinking thing was already taking its toll. I was glad when we finally gave up on the fast rides.
“Ferris wheel?”
She shook her head. “Nah, let’s play games.”
“What? You’ve been on every other ride.”
“So?”
“You don’t want to make out on the top of the Ferris wheel? Are you really going to deny me this?”
Julia laughed. “I’m kind of afraid of heights.”
“What?” I gasped. “I thought you were fearless.”
“How could you possibly think that?” she asked seriously.
“You take on everything headfirst. You’re strong and smart. You kick ass.”
She glanced off in the distance, and once again, I was struck with the thought that there was something Julia wasn’t telling me. Something that just wasn’t right. I didn’t know what it was, but I wanted to find out.
“Everyone has to have a flaw,” she said after a minute, flicking her hair in a way I’d seen Heidi do. It was a good imitation of nonchalance.
“I haven’t found yours.”
“Oh, Austin,” she said with a shake of her head. “You must not be looking very hard.”
“I’d be happy to look later,” I said suggestively.
“Oh, I bet you would.”
She grabbed my hand and pulled me toward a row of games. Her eyes ran up and down all the games before settling on knocking over milk bottles with a cheap plastic ball. I knew the game was next to impossible. They really didn’t want people to win, but I paid and let her have at it anyway.
She lost miserably.
She held up a Tootsie Roll at the end. “How lucky am I? They give out consolation prizes.”
“Poor thing.”
<
br /> “Your turn,” she said, popping the Tootsie Roll into her mouth. “I want a giant stuffed animal.”
I glanced up at the massive pink flamingo next to a pink-sequined unicorn and an oversize poop emoji. I had never wanted an oversize poop emoji so much in my life.
I wished that I had played baseball or football or something. Or at least that the game wasn’t rigged. Unfortunately, I had been more into theater, girls, and parties—in no particular order. Landon and Sutton had always been the athletes in the family.
The guy took my money from me with a sympathetic look. Yeah, I was probably screwed. I wasted twenty dollars, failing miserably at this stupid fucking game. Julia had tears streaming down her face by the time I was ready to give up.
“You’re horrible at this game,” she said through her laughter.
“Can I just buy the goddamn stuffed animal?”
“Sorry, sir. They’re not for sale,” the guy said.
“That wouldn’t be any fun anyway. Where is your consolation-prize Tootsie Roll?” Julia asked.
“I’m not done!” My competitive streak was winning out, and I was not ready to give up on that damn stuffed animal. No matter how much of a sucker that made me.
“Seriously, Austin, it’s not a big deal. I don’t think anyone can knock that thing down.” She asked the guy behind the stand, “Does it actually even move?”
He pushed the bottles over with one hand, and Julia started laughing hysterically again.
“Oh, this is too good,” she crooned.
I shot her a glare and then aimed for the bottles again after the guy set them back up again. I tried to channel the two seasons of little league my dad had forced me in as a kid. Then, I aimed and threw the ball.
And missed.
Julia was doubled over, and her laughter was music to my ears. Despite the fact that I was losing horribly, she was so happy. I’d forgotten how much her laughter affected me.
“Fuck, I suck.”
“You do,” she crowed. “You really do.”
I finished off the rest of the balls I had to throw in a miraculously awful fashion, only managing to knock over one milk bottle despite all my throws. The guy in charge of the game shook his head and then pulled down the pink-sequined unicorn.
“I’ve never seen anything so pathetic in my life. You’ve earned this, dude.”