by K. A. Linde
“So, where are you staying?”
“Jensen said I could stay with him.”
She nodded. “Smart. Well, are you ready to take her out for a ride?”
My eyes met hers. “More than anything.”
Julia’s cheeks heated. She knew I didn’t really mean the car.
We both got inside, and I turned over the engine. It purred to life. Then, I was pulling away from the airport and off onto the country back roads that would take me into Lubbock. The windows were rolled down, Julia’s hair whipped in the wind, and it was a perfect sort of freedom.
How had I taken this for granted before?
I had my car, my girl, and my freaking unicorn. Maybe I could have a life again.
We pulled up to Jensen’s house, and I parked in the driveway. I still didn’t know what I thought about my decision to stay with Jensen. I loved my brother, and he had a freaking mansion, but it wasn’t my place. I knew it was the right decision to get rid of the house. It was not the best place for me right now. Especially considering the last time I’d been in it and what had happened. I didn’t want those memories. It definitely wouldn’t assist my recovery.
“Let me help with the bags,” Julia said.
She grabbed the box where I kept all of her letters. It popped open when she adjusted it in her hands. Then, she froze, and a slow grin stretched her face. “Are all of these…mine?”
“Did you think I’d gotten rid of them?” I asked.
She shrugged. “I didn’t know.”
“They were the only other things of value I had with me. My therapist got me the box as a going-away present. It’s from a Buddhist healing temple or hippie community or something. Not sure, but it’s handmade.”
Julia laughed. “It’s perfect. Your therapist has good taste.”
“He knew how important the letters were to me.” I paused before adding, “How important you are to me.”
She smiled shyly, as if this were the first time I’d ever said something like that to her before. She touched my arm just briefly. I wondered what she was thinking. Was I pushing her? Going too fast? I felt like I was going slower than our snail mail. I didn’t want to fall back into old habits, but I would do anything to crash into her all over again.
“I kept all of yours, too,” she finally said. Then, she turned to walk through the front door.
A thrill ran through me. I felt like she was slowly acknowledging where this was going. When I followed her through the front door, suitcase in hand, my heart nearly beat out of my chest.
“Welcome home!” the roomful of people cheered.
She whirled around to stare at me with her mouth open and hand over her heart, as if to say that she hadn’t known either.
I laughed and dropped the suitcase as I took in the scene before me in awe. A giant Welcome Home sign was slung from one side of the living room to the other. Blue and green streamers hung from the fan way up above. A sheet cake was on a table in the center of the room with Welcome Home, Austin! in big blue and green letters. A handprint took up one side, and I noticed that Jensen’s son, Colton, had icing on his face.
And the best part of all, of course, was that my entire wonderful family was all together. Jensen had his arm around Emery, trying to restrain Colton. Kimber and Noah were standing together, holding a sleeping Bethany. Lilyanne was laughing at Colton’s face, and I suspected she might have had something to do with it.
Landon and Heidi were lounging on the couch with giant smiles on their faces. Patrick stood by Morgan. Neither of them looked as if they’d admit that they were drawn together. Next to Morgan, I was surprised to see the new CFO, David Calloway, in attendance. I supposed anyone that high up in the company was now a member of the Wright family. I hadn’t seen him since the Fourth of July when he was interviewed, but we’d been so caught up with Maverick’s death that I didn’t get that much time with him.
Then, my eyes landed on Sutton. She was still a shadow of her former self, and I knew no amount of therapy would help her with Maverick’s death. Her only link to her husband was toddling around at her ankles.
“Thank y’all so much. This means a lot to me,” I said to the crowd.
“We’re glad to have you back,” Jensen said. “We thought it would be nice to have everyone here to grill out and relax tonight.”
“I think it’s a great idea. Feel free to start with the cake,” I assured them. “I’m going to put my suitcase away.”
I hurried up the steps and found the guest bedroom. I stashed the suitcase in a corner and then sank onto the bed. Fuck, I loved having everyone together, but fear crept through me. Events like this had always involved alcohol. Not that they would now, but…it was hard not to worry. Not to wonder.
I’d prepared myself for this kind of thing. But it was a bit much.
“Knock, knock,” Julia said, leaning into the guest bedroom. “You okay?”
I opened my mouth to tell her that I was fine. But I wasn’t. “A little overwhelmed actually.”
“I can see that. Don’t feel bad for taking a minute. They all care about you and won’t mind.” She set the box of letters down on a dresser and then came to sit next to me.
“I feel like recovery has really just begun. Today, there’s a party, and tomorrow is Halloween. It’s a lot all at once.”
“You’re being hard on yourself. You’ve come a long way. The first weekend might be a challenge. Hell, it might always be a challenge,” she said, reaching out and threading our fingers together. “But you have people who care for you…people who want to help.”
My eyes bore into hers with all the intensity from our time apart. She bit her lip and then glanced down at my mouth. I was about to respond when she leaned forward and pressed her lips against mine. It was tentative at first. As if she couldn’t believe she had done it in the first place. Then, her hand knotted in my shirt, and she pulled me closer. My hands went into her hair, and I cupped her face.
Every day that I’d spent without her, I pushed into that kiss. Fear that I’d lost her forever. Regret that I’d probably deserved it. Hope that she’d changed her mind. Despair that I hadn’t thought she would. Lust…so much lust. And more…so much more.
I didn’t want to ever stop kissing her. She tasted like cherry and turned my world upside down. The way she used her tongue heated my blood. Her body under my practiced hands sent shivers up her skin.
This was paradise. Nothing more than that one perfect kiss.
When she finally drew back, pink-cheeked and breathless, she smiled and dropped another hasty kiss on my lips. “I’ve wanted to do that since I picked you up.”
“Same,” I admitted, just as short on breath.
“Then, why didn’t you?”
“I didn’t want you to think I was pushing you. I thought that maybe you didn’t want me at all.”
“Oh, Austin.” She leaned her forehead against mine. Our breath mingled in the short distance. “Our second chance destroyed us. I thought I wouldn’t want you…that I couldn’t want you again. But then…something happened.”
“What happened?”
“You and I…we’ve healed. Not completely,” she said, pulling back to look into my eyes. “But I’d rather work on fixing all those wounds with you than without you.”
“I want that with you, too. I want everything with you.”
“How about we just start over?”
“Do you think we can do that? After everything I did?”
“I don’t like how you reacted when you hit rock bottom or that I was hurt when you did it. But I can’t ignore that you’ve done everything to make yourself better, and that includes with me. I wasn’t sure how I felt, and then I saw you. Now, I know that I want to try again.”
“I’m going to be a better man for you, Julia,” I assured her, pulling her in for another kiss. “That’s a damn promise.”
Thirty-Eight
Julia
“I can’t believe you made me wear this,” A
ustin said.
We’d just pulled up in front of Sutton’s house. He got out of the car and tugged on the Captain America T-shirt I’d gotten him for Halloween when I went out that morning, looking for something to wear.
“Shove it, Wright. Walk around naked if you prefer.”
He laughed. “I just think I’m more of an Iron Man guy myself.”
“Of course you are,” I droned sarcastically.
“But maybe we should have gone with the Hulk. Doesn’t he end up with Black Widow?”
His eyes scanned the black leather pantsuit I’d stuffed my body into. It all fit once everything was in place, but it’d been ridiculous, getting to that moment.
“All right. Take off your clothes, and I’ll paint you green.”
He laughed as we walked up to Sutton’s front door. “Captain America, it is.”
“Smart choice.”
I knocked on the door, and I heard Sutton yell, “Coming!”
She pulled open the door to the house she and Maverick had lived in together. I couldn’t believe that she still lived here with all the memories. Or maybe she just couldn’t let go of it yet.
“Thanks for showing up, y’all,” Sutton said. “I’m still trying to get Jason into his costume. He loved it when he picked it out at the store, but now, it seems he’d rather be a streaker.”
“We’re happy to be here,” I said, pulling Austin inside.
We’d volunteered to walk Jason around the neighborhood with Sutton for Halloween. I’d known that she needed the company and that it would be hard for Austin to come right back to life in Lubbock on a party night. Halloween had always been a night to get wasted unless you had kids. So, the whole thing worked out for us.
“Yeah. I’m excited to steal some of Jason’s candy,” Austin said.
Sutton waved him off. “Be my guest. I don’t want to eat it, and he’ll be bouncing off the walls with all of that.”
She disappeared into one of the bedrooms and appeared a few minutes later with Jason decked out in a bright yellow Minion costume.
“Oh, he’s adorable,” I gushed.
Jason’s eyes lit up when he saw Austin and me. He toddled over to Austin and held his hands up. “Up!”
Austin laughed and pulled Jason into his arms. Seeing them like that made my heart swell. But one look at Sutton’s face, and I saw all the happy what-ifs flash before her eyes.
“Why don’t we get going?” I suggested.
“Your outfit is cute, Julia,” Sutton said. “I look like a mom. No time to do my hair or anything.”
“We can watch him if you want some time to get ready before we go,” I suggested.
“Who do I have to impress?” She turned away from us and took a steadying deep breath. “Okay, let’s go.”
She got out Jason’s stroller filled with goodies for him and a bag for the candy, and then we were off. Jason made it through three whole houses before being too tuckered out to walk. Austin threw him up onto his shoulders from there, and Jason squealed in delight at the attention. This was how it was supposed to be. This was how an uncle was supposed to act with his nephew.
By the time we made it to the last house on the street, Jason was fast asleep in the stroller with a bagful of candy that he’d never eat.
“He’s going to sleep so well tonight,” Sutton said.
“And then he’ll have a sugar high all day tomorrow,” I said.
“Oh, yeah, I’m so looking forward to that.”
Sutton got Jason into bed before coming back out to the living room.
“I just…I’m glad someone else was here for that. I didn’t know if I could do another thing alone.”
“Well,” Austin said, “if you ever need anything, even just a night off, then give me a call. You deserve it.”
“Really, we’d love to do it,” I said.
“I appreciate it. Most days, it’s okay. But holidays are the worst. So, it was good to have you here. I think I’m going to try to crash some while he’s actually asleep.” She sighed. “Pretty lame, huh?”
“Nah,” I said. “You sound like a good mom.”
Sutton beamed at that. At this point, it was all she really had. “I’m going to take y’all up on babysitting. I could use a day off for real.”
We laughed and nodded before leaving Sutton’s house. Both of us sagged as soon as the door closed.
“That was…hard,” I admitted.
“I feel so bad for Sutton. I wish we could do more.”
“Time. That’s what she needs right now.”
“Yeah. And for us to be there for her.”
I nodded my head. “Agreed.”
“Also, that barely took any time at all,” Austin said as we walked to his car.
“Why don’t we…go back to my place?” I suggested hesitantly.
“We can do that,” he said. “If you want.”
“Yeah. Let’s do it.”
I tried not to second-guess inviting him into my personal space. I wanted him there. I wanted us to work. It was almost a little scary, how easy it was to be with him again. Almost as if his absence had made me fall for him even harder. Not to mention, there was the box of letters I had in my apartment. Those had brought us together more than anything else ever had. And I loved exploring the man those letters had helped me find.
We made it to my apartment fifteen minutes later. I quickly turned off the security system and then reactivated it once we were inside. Austin was quiet as he surveyed my new place.
“What?” I asked self-consciously.
“Oh, nothing. I like it. My head was just elsewhere.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“It’s not serious or anything.” He turned to face me.
I felt a sudden rush of emotions. Austin was here. In my apartment. We were together. Sober. Three months ago, I never would have thought that was possible.
“You know, you can still talk to me.”
“I was just thinking about Jason,” Austin said.
He took a seat on the couch, and I followed him, sitting next to him. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and held me close.
“What about Jason?”
“If I hadn’t gone to rehab, I never would have gotten tonight with him. I would have had some other stupid plans that involved getting drunk. I wouldn’t have remembered the night either. And…I wonder how many other things I missed because of alcohol.”
It was a sobering thought. He’d been a high-functioning alcoholic for so long that he definitely missed a lot of those kinds of moments.
“Even though I was present for shit, I only remember those things through a haze of alcohol. Like Sutton’s wedding. One of the most important days of her life, and I don’t have a recollection of anything past the ceremony.”
“That has to be hard.”
“I knew it would feel like this. Or at least, I was warned about it. But it’s one thing to talk about it in rehab and another thing to experience it in person. Just something I have to live with.”
“At least you’re making an effort to make new memories. Sober memories.”
“Yeah, I feel like I wasted most of the last ten years. I don’t want to miss anything else.”
I tilted my head up to meet his dark eyes. There was remorse there. True remorse. What I’d seen from him in the last two days wasn’t an act. Of course, I hadn’t thought it was. But seeing him torn up like this showed me how much he’d really changed. For him to even think about all the experiences he’d missed out on because of alcohol was self-reflective in a way that the old Austin never would have come to terms with.
“I’m so glad you’re here with me,” I whispered. My lips hovered an inch from his.
“Me, too.” His eyes darted to my lips and then back up. “You know something?”
“What’s that?” I whispered, aching for a kiss.
“I love you.”
My heart stopped, and butterflies erupted in my stomach. “You do?”
He nodded. “Should have told you that a long time ago.”
“Well, you know something?”
“No. What?” he asked, brushing his nose against mine.
“I love you, too.”
No other words had to be spoken. We’d both been holding that in for so long, neither willing to really dig into our feelings, that it was as if a dam had broken.
Austin and I cleared the distance between us at the same time. Our kiss was full of the love we’d been denying. His lips were soft and inviting. His tongue promised all the dirty things my mind drifted to with him this close. His hands roamed over my tight bodysuit.
He leaned me backward on the couch, covering my body with his. I wrapped one leg around his waist. Our hips pressed tightly together, and heat rushed through me.
“Fuck,” I groaned as he started to circle his hips in place against me.
All coherent thoughts fled my mind. There was just the feel of him against me and the desire to be in a hell of a lot less clothes.
One hand slid down the side of my suit and then reached around to grab my ass. He broke off the kiss to trail his mouth down my neck and across my collarbone. I could feel him, thick and ready for me, through his jeans. I couldn’t help myself as I pressed my pelvis up. He pushed back, sliding his dick against the thin material covering my body.
“How the hell do I get this off?” he asked. He slipped his hands up and down my sides, hoping to find an easy way to get me out of this suit.
I laughed and tossed my head back in exasperation. “This is the worst outfit ever for this.”
“It’s hot as fuck, but I’ll cut it off if I have to.”
Austin gripped my arm when I offered it to him, and he pulled me up off the couch. I dragged him into my bedroom and showed him the tiny zipper in the back. He tugged it down. He whistled softly through his teeth when the zipper rounded over my ass.
“Julia,” he groaned.
His lips touched the base of my neck and then slowly worked down my back, vertebra by vertebra. Then, he kissed my tailbone and lower. His hands splayed over my ass cheeks as he thoroughly kissed each of them.
I tugged my arms out of the sleeves of the suit in my haste to be naked. He helped me drag it the rest of the way down my body until it was in a crumpled pile on my floor.