I hear, “I found the gun. He’s taken all the bullets out but one’s chambered.”
“Hello?” A woman’s on the line.
“Yes, mam, this is Lilith Goodwill with the San Francisco Suicide Prevention Hotline. We called the situation in.”
“Just in time it looks like. You saved this guy’s life and anyone else who might have walked in. We’ve got it handled from here.” She pauses. “You guys do good work, Lilith.”
“Thank you, mam.”
Janet, my favorite supervisor, is hovering at this point. I click off and take my headphones off.
“Good job, Lily. That could have been a tragic situation.”
“Thanks. I’m glad the police showed up when they did. He had one bullet still in the chamber.”
“Thank goodness we won’t have to read about it in the papers tomorrow.”
“Yeah, well here’s another call, I better get back to it.”
“Okay, really outstanding work.” Janet pats my back and turns to leave before she turns back and asks, “How are you doing? You look well.”
“I’m fine. Thanks.”
“Did the police find out who mugged you?”
“No, but the guy ran away after he did it. I don’t have a lot of hope of them finding him.”
She pats me on the back again and walks away. Janet’s one of the good guys. A veteran of fifteen years—totally committed to helping people in crisis. Not like some supervisors, I know, Meredith to be specific. Meredith’s passion is paper and sterile work environments, and I don’t mean germ free.
The rest of my shift is quiet. I make some referrals for counseling appointments. There are calls from some lonely people just needing to talk. When it is over, I walk out with my little “beetle” hitchhiker.
Aidan assumes his human aspect as I cross the street. He is all over me. He always gets that way after he watches me work.
“I love when you save lives. You were amazing tonight. You stayed so calm and focused.”
“It’s my job, Aidan.”
“Yes, but you are such a giving person. I love that about you. I just want to soak up your energy when you do good things. It is very seductive.”
He tries to kiss me but I turn away. Loyal to my husband to be. I wish Sebastian could see my restraint.
“Behave yourself. What if Sebastian decided to come pick me up or something?”
“He would have been here by now. Relax. Maybe we should go and surprise him at the club? That would serve him right.” Adrian’s trying to stir something up, but it is a great idea.
“Oh let’s do that. I hate when we fight. Can you glam me up a bit?”
“Absolutely, my love—though I hate encouraging the competition.”
Aidan waves his hand and I am in a dazzling sea green flapper style beaded dress. He does the same thing to himself and he is in a beautiful pinstripe Italian suit. We pop outside of the club and walk in on the tail end of a set of songs. The band is going into their last set and then the club will be closing. I see Sebastian’s car outside but he isn’t anywhere in sight. I head to his office.
Aidan is right behind me as we wind our way through the crowd. We go through the employee only entrance. Sebastian’s door is closed. I don’t knock because, after all, I’m his fiancée. Sebastian is kissing a woman. He has his hand up her dress. She has long black hair. Gabrielle! He whirls around, angry, until he sees my face and then he looks shocked. His response is nothing compared to mine.
I can’t move. I just stand there. Sebastian pushes her away, as if he hadn’t been introducing his tongue to her tonsils. She gives me a smile and puts her hands on Sebastian’s arm, claiming him. He puts his arm around her and she pouts.
“Sebastian, introduce me,” she says as if we hadn’t met only a few days ago.
My mouth goes dry. This is not some simple kiss. This is not a barmaid. I slowly take my ring off and hand it to him and walk out. Aidan scoops me into his arms and once we are clear of Sebastian’s door we are back at the manse. I stumble into my room. His room. Aidan remains downstairs. Helena streaks into the room and takes me in her arms. I stand like a little tin soldier. Then I let out a strangled cry and fall to my knees. Helena goes down with me, hanging on. I bend over in dry wretches with nothing to heave. I want to roar into vamp mode and remove that woman’s sneering head, but my body turns traitor and stays limp. I sob. Nothing makes sense. How could he hold me this morning, when he was so ecstatic over my agreement to go forward with the wedding? What was real? How could he? My mind flashes back to my father and his mistresses. My mother quietly sobbing in her room. Those memories put some steel in my spine. I will not be my mother. I don’t know what to do or where to go but I know I can’t stay in this room. I don’t want to run to Aidan’s either. I can’t run to Hannah’s because she’ll take me in but I don’t want anyone to know. I don’t want anyone to see me this way.
“Helena is the new suite ready enough for me to move into?”
“Yes. I was just putting finishing touches in there.” Her face looks uncertain.
Aidan paces behind me. His face serious, his forehead creased.
“Aidan, can you move my things into the new room and help me move my other stuff? I don’t want anything left here.”
“Of course, love. Are you sure that you don’t want to stay with me?”
“I don’t think that will solve anything. This is my home now. I’m not letting him run me out of my home too.” My voice full of resolve I don’t feel. “If anything I’ll go back to my condo. But I’ve finally had an offer on it, so I need to sort that out.”
I leave the emerald necklace on his side of the bed. Perhaps he can give it to his new girlfriend.
It has only taken us a few minutes thanks to Aidan’s help. I hear Sebastian’s car pull up and him enter the manse. I hear him go to our room. I hear him enter his closet and the sound of hangers moving. Helena leaves me and goes after him. Aidan holds me close to him. His warmth keeps the chill at bay.
“What have you done?” Helena accuses—I hear her through the open doors.
“Stay out of this, Helena,” Sebastian warns.
“What are you doing?” she asks.
“Packing, I’ll be with Gabrielle. Lily can go to Aidan. I know that’s where she wants to be anyway.”
I’d heard enough. I hold onto Aidan for dear life and sob into his chest. He runs his hands across my back and I feel the heat increase in him as his anger rises.
“Love, I’ll be right back,” he whispers gently to me.
“No! Don’t do anything to him, Aidan. Please,” I beg him.
“Why?” he asks harshly. “So he can just walk away like this.” His eyes glow.
“Please,” I whisper. “It’s not like we haven’t pushed him.”
He kisses my forehead. “But you’ve done nothing.”
I don’t change for bed. I don’t know who I can trust. Aidan is trying to take care of me, but I know he has ulterior motives too. I can’t help thinking of my father. My fear of relationships—of trusting. I can’t believe I finally committed to plan our wedding and settle down. My worst fears realized. It’s probably my fault for loving Aidan at the same time. I’m no better than my father. Finally, before dawn I tell Aidan about my dad and what he did to my mother. Aidan tightens his arms around me and never once lets go. I fall asleep like this.
Lilith falls asleep and I take a moment. A cleansing breath. Helena comes in to check on her.
“How is she?” Helena asks. Her anger is evident.
“Terrible. She’s not in a good place, Helena. I’m very worried about her. Did you know that her father had a mistress?”
“No. Oh God, poor Lily, this must bring it all back.”
“Her mother’s shame and pain have haunted her,” I tell her. Helena lets out a quiet sigh and Julian comes in behind her and holds her.
“I don’t know what’s come over Sebastian. I’ve never seen him break his word in over two hundre
d years,” Julian says. “I’ve never seen him happier than when Lily agreed to marry him. I just don’t understand.”
“Where did this Gabrielle come from?” Helena asks.
“Sebastian met her at court. I never would have guessed this would be the result,” Julian says, shaking his head.
“I was ready to kill him tonight, but Lilith stopped me. He’s lucky she still loves him somehow.” I make an effort to reign in my heat.
“Please don’t kill him, Aidan,” Helena says. Real panic in her eyes.
“Why is Gabrielle travelling all the way out here to seduce Sebastian?” Julian poses.
“I don’t know, but I plan on finding out,” Helena says, a steely edge in her voice that makes me thankful I won’t be on the receiving end of it.
“Easy, Helena, don’t do anything you’ll regret,” Julian caresses her shoulder.
“Oh, I think she needs some kind of attitude adjustment, don’t you?” she says, whipping around to look Julian in the eye.
“I do,” I agree.
“I’m just saying I know what you’re capable of and I don’t want to see anyone permanently disfigured,” Julian says. “I don’t much care for her but I know how you’ll feel when you calm down.”
“Aidan, as soon as Lily is well enough to be left alone, I want you to pop me to where this Gabrielle is. I’ll deal with it from there.” Never mess with a woman scorned or the friend of that woman when she has magickal powers, a vampire woman, to boot. Gabrielle is in for a world of hurt.
I am disappointed as well as angry. I thought I had a better idea of who Sebastian was after the time we spent together. His life seemed to revolve around his love for Lilith. It’s not often I am wrong about a person. I honestly wanted him out of her life but not this way. I never wanted her pain. Especially this.
It’s almost noon and she will be waking soon. I hope her heart and mind have rested with her body. She stirs.
My mind takes a moment to realize where it is. I don’t recognize any of the things in this room or the warmth that surrounds me. I remember. I sit up. Aidan pushes my hair off my forehead. I give him a weak smile. It’s the best I can do, but it’s one step on the road to the new me. The me that takes no shit and asks names later. Hannah would be proud.
The door slowly opens and muffled footsteps in the deep pile rug announce that Helena and Julian are in the room too.
“Lily, child, I’m so sorry,” Julian says as he sits on the edge of the bed and kisses the top of my head.
“Dear heart, Andrew has made you some coffee. Why don’t you come down and have some?” Helena asks me.
I pull the blanket up. Though I know this is Sebastian’s fault, I have too many regrets about my own behavior. Looking down at my hands, I try to come up with an excuse to hang out in my new room for the day.
“I’ll summon some coffee for you. You don’t have to move for now,” Aidan says. My Djinn, my strength when I have none of my own.
My friends circle me, gathering me in their arms before they leave. Aidan takes my face and turns it up to his.
“Feeling like this is all your fault?” His voice is somewhere between teasing and serious. I look down. Realize I am hunched in like I am protecting a vital organ.
“I want to kick some ass, but I also feel so cheap and dirty. He just brushed me off. He barely knows her. He left without even trying to explain. How long was this going on? What makes her special?” I thought of all the time he spent at the club.
“He is blind,” Aidan says hoarsely. He slowly lowers his face and I see the intent in his eyes. God help me I don’t stop him. I need to feel loved by someone right now. I let him kiss me.
It is the sweetest kiss, soft and tentative. Full of electricity like all of Aidan’s kisses. I kiss him back but he pulls away.
“Not yet, love. You are too fragile. I love you with all that I am, but not yet,” he says as he smiles down at me. I nod and his eyes sparkle.
“That’s my girl,” he says as he cups my chin and kisses me again gently. “Do you feel up to a shower?”
“Yes. I need one desperately. Then coffee.”
“I’ll summon you something new to wear, too. I feel like spoiling you today,” Aidan says as he starts pulling things from the air.
He hands me a new Givenchy outfit that is oh so right for my mood. Dark and elegant. Prada stilettos and beautiful pearls to go with it all. The idea of getting dressed up lifts my spirits—at least I’ll look strong and confident on the outside.
I get in the new shower built for two, plenty too big now. I wipe my eyes then I shake my head and make myself stop. Not going there. I set the shower heads to hit me from all directions with hot steamy water until I can’t see across the room. When I get out I should have been shriveled but because I’m vampire I’m not. I dry off and start to get dressed in my new outfit. My mood lifts with every layer of clothing. I brush my fangsters and put my earrings in. When I leave the bathroom, Aidan stares.
“You look so beautiful. I don’t give you enough clothes and jewelry. I need to do it more often,” he says.
“Thank you so much for the outfit, Aidan, but I need to dress myself, from time to time too. Or I’ll never get to go shopping. It’s a perfect fit. I don’t want to know how you do that,” I say. I give him a half-hearted smile that eventually turns into a real one.
“It’s a trade secret.” He winks at me as he takes my hand. He leads me out of my sanctuary and into the hall. I hesitate at the doorway. I’m still not sure I’m ready to face the world. “A baby step, one at a time. Julian and Helena both love you,” he says. “Andrew adores and respects you. Hannah would kill for you, maybe that isn’t the best thing…”
I laugh. Hannah would kill on command. But I get a shot of confidence because she does love me. I shake my hair out of my eyes and square my shoulders as we descend the stairs. My heels clicking on the marble. Helena hears me coming and meets us before we reach the library. She gathers me up in a motherly embrace. She’s been magick crafting so she smells of lemon verbena and herbs. It’s soothing. I inhale her scent. Patting me on the back she says, “You look gorgeous. Is that a new outfit?”
“Yes, Aidan gave it to me this morning, the jewelry too.”
“Aidan has exquisite taste,” she says. She leads me and Aidan into the library. Julian stands up and approaches me.
“My sweet child, you look beautiful this afternoon. How do you feel?” Julian places his hand briefly on my cheek.
“Like I would like yesterday to have never have happened. But it did, and now I need to move on.”
He hugs me and returns to his computer. The affectionate look on his handsome face reassures me. Aidan is right.
Andrew and Liam enter giving me a hug. Andrew’s eyes fill and I start to cry again. He holds me tight.
“Miss Lily, something isn’t right here. There is no one better than you and Mr. Sebastian is crazy about you. I don’t know what is going on,” Andrew says.
“Thank you, Andrew.” I can’t say anything more because I don’t know what to say. It doesn’t make sense to me either. I can’t get past the fact that Bast stopped loving me and that pain is too raw.
“Are we still planning on turning the boys tonight?” I turn to Julian.
“Yes, it will be more difficult without Sebastian, but we can do it and I see no reason to delay it. We want to make sure that Liam is well protected for the next moon phase,” Julian adds.
“Aidan, why don’t we grab Hannah and go to that little beach in Greece again? I could use some girl time and sun and then we can be back in time for this evening.”
“Sounds perfect, love. When do you want us back, Julian?”
“How about six? We’ll start soon after that.”
“We’ll see you then.” And with that Aidan scoops me into his lap and pops us to Greece.
We land on the beach with Aidan holding me in his arms and the sun shining down on us. The cerulean blue water rivals the clear blue
skies. The sandy beach is awash with shells of every shape and color and drift wood. Aidan nods his head and a full changing house appears. He sets me down on the wooden deck, thoughtfully, so my shoes won’t get ruined.
“I put a swim suit in there for you, lover. I’m going to summon some chairs, drinks and sunglasses while you change. Take your time,” he says. “I’ll also pop over to Berkeley and talk to Hannah, bring her and Hades back with me, I know she’ll want to be here.”
“Okay, Aidan.”
I find a little white bikini in the changing tent. The minute I let my toes sink into the warm soft sand I know this is a good idea. The sun on my shoulders warms my perpetually cold skin. I sink into the hot sand as I twist my toes in deeper on my way to the edge of the water. Taking my time, enjoying the serene landscape. Aidan has set up three lounge chairs and a table with a pitcher of what looks like strawberry daiquiris on it.
I splash my toes in the frothy, Mediterranean water and jump when a screaming Hannah pops into existence. Hades comes bounding up to me and knocks me into the water. Between the two of them I come up sputtering and laughing. This is exactly what I was hoping for. Aidan transmanifests to my side and helps me up, laughing himself.
Hannah tackles me with a hug. Aidan persuades her to change her clothes, while Hades splashes in the turf, chasing gulls and digging up shells.
I lower myself onto the chair and Aidan joins me in the chair next to me and pours me an icy sweet daiquiri. He hands me a pair of sunglasses and I hide behind them sipping my drink.
Aidan glances at me out of the corner of his eye. Without warning he leans towards me and kisses me. When I tentatively taste his lips he moves away and rubs his hand over his eyes.
“I can’t do this, Lilith. I can’t take advantage of you. You still love Sebastian and I want you to be with me completely. Before I was up for tweaking him and causing a little mischief.. Stealing kisses, trying to win you over. Now… I don’t want to confuse you even more. I’m being selfish now. I want you for myself. Just you and me and nothing between us.”
Sucking Bites (San Francisco Vampires Series #3) Page 20