My Love Forever

by Anna Antonia

  “Because you loved him.”

  “Yes. My love for Grigor was doomed. Even if he never met Damian’s mother, I was once his property. He’d never be able to hold his head up if it ever got out he had feelings for me. Fuck the merchandise but never forget what it really is.”

  There were so many questions I wanted to ask. Did Grigor have feelings for her? Did he ever know of hers for him? Did she ever meet Damian’s mother? What was she like?

  I held them all in. It wasn’t my place to ask for anything. Elaine’s past was hers. Those precious memories weren’t up for consumption.

  Besides, how could Grigor not care for young Katja? He took her out of the brothel for a reason that had little to do with money and everything to do with the heart. He gave his precious son to her and Thomas because of his feelings. Grigor may not have loved her the same way he did Damian’s mother, but he cared for this woman.

  I’d stake my life on it.

  “Damian’s father cared for you.”

  “Yes, he did. I should’ve been satisfied with what he could give. But the human heart can be frail. One mistake can undo a life even when you never meant for it to happen. You can end up hurting the only man you ever loved and make it to where he can never look at your face again without remembering that pain. You live in fear of it, don’t you?”

  “Yes. Every second of the day since the beginning.”

  Her glassy gaze reflected mine. “Can I confess my sin to you, Risa, and tell you how I destroyed five lives in one afternoon?”

  46

  DAMIAN

  Three men guarding the entrance. No need to kill if I could simply disable them. Pistol butt to the temple of one, knee high to the thigh of the other and a kick to the jaw. The third one came for me, but not fast enough. Two arms around his neck and he was out in seven seconds.

  Why kick the door open when I could just enter using the card?

  Logic dictated the Volkovs were on the other side waiting for me with guns drawn. I yanked one of the downed men up onto his feet. One card slide and the panel lit green.

  A twist of the knob and then I shoved the soldier through the door while taking cover behind him.

  “Damian Konstantinov. You do not need your weapons here.”

  This came from none other than Iliya Volkov. He sat there, surrounded by his men, and visibly unfazed by my violent entrance.

  There was only one reason why I went straight into their den and I wasn’t leaving without her.

  “Where is she?”

  “She’s not here.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “I have no reason to lie to you.”

  My fist tightened on his soldier’s collar. “You’ve had no reason to keep her, but you have.”

  “We have not forced your woman to stay with us. She’s been here of her own free will.”

  Son of a bitch!

  “No. She’s been your prisoner all this time and everyone in this room knows it.”

  “I’m afraid you have things wrong, Damian. She’s been free to go back to you anytime she wanted. She’s chosen not to.”

  Grinding my teeth, I felt my jaw pop. Talking to this smug bastard was a waste of my time.

  “Bring her out now.”

  “I told you. Risa Kelly is not here.”

  I wanted to take his fat neck in my hands and squeeze until his head popped off. Iliya tried to make me believe Risa left me for another man, whether it be Marcus or Sascha.

  It wasn’t going to work. Risa loved me. She told me. She didn’t have to say it but she did.

  While she ran from me with Marcus.

  “If your woman ran from you that’s not our doing. That happened long before we got involved.”

  Rage ratcheted higher. My ears fucking rang from it. He didn’t know shit about me and Risa.

  The bedroom door opened. Sascha Volkov stepped out, attired all in black, and followed by his brother, Ivan. Immediately I shoved my human shield to the ground and raised one gun in his direction while keeping the other on Iliya.

  Every man cocked their weapons on me.

  47

  RISA

  “Grigor had been married for eleven months when Thomas and I were called back home. It was much easier back then to carry multiple identities and move about in relative obscurity. After debriefing, I sent word to Grigor. I wanted to show him how well I’d taken his mercy to improve my life. Maybe I wanted him to see me looking like a lady instead of what he knew me as.”

  Tragedy barreled towards me. Which was silly considering nearly three decades had passed. Still, I feared hearing what sins Elaine would confess to committing.

  Because those sins were present in this room even now.

  “The apartment was empty. I still remember the crib in the corner. It was wooden with a little shepherd and shepherdess painted on each end. Sweet. Domestic. Perfect.”

  I tried to picture the scene she painted. How odd to think Damian might’ve been an entirely different person if things hadn’t taken a tragic turn.

  “His wife was gone running errands. Grigor shared she’d felt cooped up. She wanted to move about alone since she was soon going to give birth. I could barely believe this was the same man I’d known for years. Love had softened him. I should’ve been happy. I wanted to be.”

  Elaine’s face darkened.

  “But I wasn’t.”

  I empathized. I knew exactly how she felt when I saw Damian with Gretchen. Undoubtedly, Elaine’s situation was much worse.

  She lifted her chin, staring at me with something akin to defiant remorse. “Grigor’s wife hadn’t slept with him for five months because of her pregnancy. I took advantage, using our past to seduce him.”

  I tried to school my expression but failed. Of all the things she could’ve told me, this was not something I would’ve guessed in a million years.

  A warble of disgust deepened Elaine’s voice. “I wanted Grigor to see me as a lady, not a whore, and yet I turned right back into one. I slept with him, Risa, right as his wife died in an alley.”

  A single tear tracked down her face. She didn’t bother to wipe it away. “Grigor betrayed the one he loved for a quick fuck. He never forgave himself. He should’ve killed me and thrown me in the river. Instead, after his wife was buried, he begged me to take his son with me. Me—the woman who destroyed his life. Grigor trusted me with Damian, the only piece he had left of his beloved wife.”

  My gaze grew heavy with tears. I’d only known about my child for less than a day and I couldn’t even imagine having to ever give her up.

  “Even though I hated myself, hated what I had wrought about the man I loved, I did it. I left with his newborn, adopting Damian as my son, but fully in service to Grigor.”

  “That’s how you and Thomas became Damian’s parents.”

  “Parents? No. We were not his parents. We were and are his guardians.” She closed her eyes for a moment. Her next words filled me with pity. “I do not deserve the title of ‘mother’. Not after what I had done. The Cold War came to an end, the Soviet Union fell, but I still served the Konstantinovs. All to make up for my unforgivable sin.”

  Elaine’s suffering thickened the air. She practically vibrated with it, looking so broken, as if she expected me to condemn her. My steps quickened as I made my way to her. She might not have appreciated my sympathy, but I had to offer it nonetheless.

  I reached for Elaine’s hand, taking courage when she didn’t immediately pull it away. Poor Elaine. All she wanted was forgiveness but she believed she’d never get it. She believed she didn’t deserve it. So much made sense now.

  How she and Thomas deferred to Damian. Her formality with him and by extension, me.

  “Does Damian know?”

  She yanked her hand away, putting quite a bit of space between us. “No, and he must never know this while I still live!”

  A sinking suspicion crept over me. “Elaine, why are you telling me this now?”

  “Because you, Ris
a, are going to help me make this right.”

  48

  DAMIAN

  More people filled in the room, throwing gasoline on an already explosive situation.

  Wolffington and his men covered me from the entry. They had a clear shot on Iliya and both his sons. Unfortunately, the Volkovs had a better one on me.

  Sorry, guys. I couldn’t wait. Not after seeing Risa and knowing she’s here.

  I barely registered Iliya’s words. “Calm down, young Damian. There’s no need for violence. We’re two CEOs having a conversation, yes?”

  Iliya didn’t matter.

  “Where. Is. She?”

  This was directed to Sascha. His dark brow rose, but beyond that, nothing. In the far corners of my mind, I recognized how much of myself he reminded me.

  I was once cold, always observing the world but never allowing the baseness of emotions reach me. Now I fucked seethed in it.

  Sascha approached me slowly. Not a good move on his part considering how close I was to snapping.

  Only the knowledge that Risa was close by kept me from completely losing my shit. I had to survive this so I could get to her.

  Remember your objective. You. Must. Not. Fail.

  “Risa is not here. She won’t be coming back.”

  “Wrong fucking thing to say to me!” I took three steps closer, gun still pointing dead in Sascha Volkov’s face. All the men in the room shifted their stances, simultaneously lurching towards me.

  Iliya stood up, hands held up and out.

  “You are free to search the rooms, Damian, but you will not find your woman here. My son speaks the truth.” He lowered his hands slightly. “But that doesn’t mean we don’t know where she is.”

  I gritted my teeth, despising the emotionless stare of his son and the smugness in the elder Volkov’s tone. Finally, we were getting somewhere.

  Money. It was always about money.

  Tired of the endless denials and word games, I narrowed my focus onto Sascha. He didn’t fear my instability. In fact, his cool gaze mocked me. He had the upper hand and knew it.

  Bastard.

  “I heard stories all my life about the great Damian Black-Price. A man without compare. Perfect in every way—education, wealth, connections, looks. Cunning. You are not what I expected.”

  My ego took the hit. Months ago this fucking asshole wouldn’t have been able to say this to me. I was constructed to be perfect. Yet, I wasn’t real.

  Standing there with two guns in my hands, facing a cadre of armed men, I never felt more unlike myself than right now.

  My world was not in perfect order.

  I controlled nothing.

  The outcome wasn’t predicted.

  “You and your family are exactly as I expected. Money-hungry thugs.”

  “I didn’t allow you to come here only to be threatened by my old rival’s son. We have not had your privileges. What would you know of our life?”

  Apparently, my very existence uncovered a sore spot. I represented everything Iliya didn’t have. Taking another look at Sascha, I smirked. No wonder he reminded me of myself. He’d been created in my mythical image.

  Perhaps I should push the point?

  What will that accomplish other than needlessly angering these wolves? Your ego doesn’t matter compared to Risa. Remember your fucking objective. All the deals you’ve brokered mean nothing compared to this one.

  True.

  But it was hard to let it go. Especially when every time I looked at Sascha’s arm, I remembered Risa clinging to it. I wanted to cut it off. Maybe if I left Sascha with a stump I’d be satisfied?

  As if he could see the bloodthirsty desire, Iliya cautioned, “We both want the same thing, Damian. Tell your men to stand down and I’ll tell mine. Then we’ll negotiate, yes?”

  “Tell yours first.”

  “No.”

  “Then here we stay.”

  “You shoot my son, my men shoot you, and yours shoot mine. Maybe we all die. Then what? Your woman is lost, you are dead, and none of this means anything.”

  My face contorted with rage I could no longer conceal. I wanted to bury a bullet in Sascha’s skull. This man paraded my Risa around like a pet. He dressed her up in clothes she would’ve never worn. This man touched Risa as if he had the right. He flaunted her and I would never forgive it.

  “You should listen to my father, Damian. You didn’t come all this way just to see it end here.”

  A sense of dark, twisted humor streaked through me. Was this what Risa felt when I invaded her emotions with my logic? No wonder I irritated her.

  I’d do better in the future.

  “It won’t end here. Not without me taking you with me first. Remember that, Sascha.”

  His brother, a towering giant larger than even me, sent me a mean-eyed glare. Good. At least I wasn’t the only one pissed off here.

  Sascha waved a languid hand, as if he couldn’t be bothered with the situation. “Your jealousy is unnecessary. It’s a waste of time.”

  “Then why her?”

  “She was a business transaction. Nothing more.”

  I stomped one step closer. Several clicks accompanied it. My mind raced in an endless loop between cunning and instinct.

  All my upbringing, my incessant need for precision and perfection, viewing the angles in every situation, all of it was designed to prevent me from being in this very position.

  None of it could save me now because I didn’t give a damn.

  Funny. It would seem I was human after all. Impulsive. Messy. Vulnerable.

  A business transaction. Fucking prick.

  I won’t lose to you because Risa isn’t a transaction. She’s priceless. And I’m about to prove it.

  Abruptly, I pointed the guns towards the ground. “Very well, Iliya. What do you want in exchange for Risa Kelly?”

  Iliya grinned. “Good. You’ve come to your senses.” He had one of his men hand him a cell phone. A few swipes later then a ringing echoed loudly on the speaker.

  I needed only one guess to know who was on the other side.

  49

  RISA

  “What do I need to do?”

  Elaine straightened. Her visible emotions receded, but I sensed them still lingering, hiding in plain sight.

  “Damian believes I hired Marcus to kidnap you. He also believes the Volkovs helped. They will act as the intermediate between us. Soon I will receive a call from them. I will demand $250 million dollars in exchange for you. Damian will agree and then we will meet him at the designated point.”

  Maybe this is the real reason for all of this and not what Elaine shared?

  I did a gut check. She was telling the truth. Guilt was eating her alive. Nobody could fake that kind of grief so well.

  “And then what?”

  “Then it’s over. You can go back to Damian and he’ll be free.”

  “Of all the ways to go about things, why this way? Lying to Damian, kidnapping me…I mean, you know he thinks you had him shot.”

  Pain deepened the corner of her mouth before it was gone. “I know. He needs to keep believing that. It’ll make all of this easier.”

  All of what? I’d come this far, hurt Damian immeasurably, and I still didn’t have the answers.

  Frustration sharpened my tongue into a blade. “Elaine, stop drawing this out. Tell me what the window of time Marcus needed was for. Tell me what this thing I have on my back is for. Tell. Me.”

  “Marcus told Damian about the code in the trackers. Do you remember?”

  I nodded.

  “I was furious when I found out that Grigor had accepted Damian’s help. Grigor knew better than to let there be a tie between them.” She let out an impatient puff of air. “I’m confident it had everything to do with living a future that ended as soon as Damian was born.”

  Elaine visibly composed herself.

  “A shipment was seized and the trackers taken. An enterprising agent discovered the code and matched the signatu
re to Damian. From there it unraveled. Grigor managed to get the agent killed, but not before he shared his findings with his superior.”

  I flinched at the thought of how casually Elaine mentioned the agent’s death. This didn’t go unnoticed by Elaine.

  “You think it cruel, Risa, but such is this life. If it makes you feel any better, that particular agent wasn’t a good man doing good work. He’d been on the take for years, as was his superior. That shipment they seized? They sold it to the Volkovs.”

  I didn’t dare ask what the shipment was, but I had a terrible suspicion it wasn’t drugs or guns, but rather flesh. My hand hovered above my tummy. I couldn’t have my child exposed to that kind of life. Silently, I thanked Grigor for his many sacrifices to keep the man I loved out of that world—even if he wasn’t perfect about it.

  “I understand. Please go on.”

  “The head of that particular FBI unit approached Grigor with the intent of blackmailing him. Of course, Grigor paid it but he wasn’t fooled. He knew it was only a matter of time before they turned their greedy eyes on Damian. Thomas discovered their surveillance and knew it wasn’t for long.”

  “Is that how they learned about me?”

  “Yes.” Elaine let out a sigh. “I tried to keep you off their grid. They only knew there was a woman with him in France. They didn’t know who because of how Damian transported you.”

  “I’m sorry that I couldn’t keep it together. I’m sorry I didn’t do better to help you.”

  Elaine softened a bit. “You would’ve if you knew. I simply couldn’t take that chance. Damian wasn’t completely healthy. He didn’t need the extra stress. Thomas and I tried to work behind the scenes for as long as we could, but…it all collapsed.

  “We failed. We just couldn’t have predicted how badly.” Elaine sniffed once. “Damian met Grigor in Clichy. We had everything under control, but that damned agent.”