by Anna Antonia
Leon nodded, silent as was his way.
The door shut and I settled Risa on my lap. “I’m fine, Damian. I promise.”
“I know, love. Indulge me, please?”
She didn’t fight or pout. Instead, Risa wrapped her arms around my neck and said, “Always.”
66
RISA
It was as I assured Damian. I was fine. Bruised but okay. My love didn’t leave my side. He sat next to me, hovering about me like a worried hen whenever the doctor or attending nurse came in.
I never thought I’d see the day where my Damian was so free with his emotions. I loved it immensely.
We’d yet to have time to really talk about what we experienced, but I wasn’t worried. We had plenty of time now.
There was one extremely important thing I had to tell him though.
I thought about telling him about our baby after I got the test results back. It was so much to take in otherwise. Undecided, I still thought that might be the way to go.
I just wished my news could be delivered without regret for my ignorance.
“What’s wrong, little girl?” Damian gently stroked the side of my cheek. “Are you hurting? Do you need some pain medication?”
“No! I’m…I just got lost in thought.” Uncertainty settled at the base of my spine. He absolutely had a right to know, but was now the best time? Damian had gone through so much already.
“Mmm…well, I know one way to help. How about a brownie?”
I reached up for him and sighed when his strong arms slid around me. “I love you so much, Damian. I’m so lucky to have you.”
Damian’s warm lips pressed against the side of my neck. “Not as lucky as I am. Stay here, love, and I’ll be back.”
My gorgeous, wonderful, kind, thoughtful man walked out of the room, taking a little piece of myself with him. Suddenly, he poked his head back in. “Good. You listened.”
Laughing, I stuck my tongue out at him. Damian pounced on the opportunity to stride back to my side and take me by my chin.
“You know what happens to naughty girls who stick their tongues out?”
Breathless with anticipation, I did it again and said, “Nope.”
“This happens.” Damian gently took my mouth and kissed me for the first time since that awful night I had to leave him. Without words, he told me he forgave me my trespasses. Just as sweetly as I forgave his.
Several heart-pounding moments later, he released my lips. “I love you, Risa Kelly. Always and forever.”
“I love you too. More than you can ever fully know.”
Damian’s tender smile warmed me like the sun. Watching him walk out, I sat there in my little hospital bed and thanked all the stars in the sky. We made it. After all the heartache, suffering, doubts, and fears, we came out on the other side.
It was worth it. All of it.
A brisk knock came, breaking into my thoughts. “Miss Kelly? How are you doing this evening?”
A man in a white coat and scrubs strolled into the room. His hair was streaked liberally with gray, a beard covering most of his face. Brown eyes peered from behind dark-rimmed glasses.
He pulled out a stethoscope and listened to my heart. “I hope you don’t think me condescending to tell you how well you did tonight.”
Blinking rapidly, I leaned closer and studied his face. There was nothing to give it away, not even his voice. “Marcus?”
The man cocked his head and winked. “You wouldn’t have known it was me, would you?”
“No.”
Marcus stood up and walked to the front of my bed. He pulled my chart from the foot and studied it. No one looking in would think anything odd.
“Can I tell you something? I wasn’t always sure I’d get through it tonight,” I admitted in a low murmur.
“Thankfully, I didn’t suffer that problem. I always knew you could do it. You love Mr. Black-Price too much to fail. You’d move mountains for that man.” Marcus took the seat Damian vacated. “I’m hoping your love can extend to completing two final jobs for me.”
He placed my chart on the bed. A creamy envelope sat on top. Thick, black lines bespoke of a man with beautiful penmanship. Just one word.
Damian.
“The first is this letter. It’s from Grigor. Can you give this to Mr. Black-Price?”
Staring down at the pristine envelope, I tried to imagine the man who held this and wrote the one name he’d never been able to officially claim. I traced my love’s name with two fingers.
“Of course.”
“Can you explain to him why things were handled this way? I’m afraid Elaine wouldn’t necessarily wish to tell him. It’s important for him to know.”
I understood this wasn’t Marcus’s wish but rather Grigor’s. “Yes, I’d be more than happy to explain.”
He patted me once on the arm. “Now onto the second job.”
The sudden gravity in his tone caused me to look up. “What is it?”
“Your ink. It was necessary to orchestrate Grigor and Elaine’s plan. However, those two’s beliefs diverged. Elaine wanted you to have full power. Grigor wanted you to have a choice. You know what your mark is capable of doing, but what you don’t know is that you’re walking around with very sensitive and damning information.”
My eyes widened and I dropped the letter on my lap. “What kind of information?”
“The kind that deposes powerful people from very high places.”
Just the thought of scores of political figures gunning for me, and extension Damian and our child, made me ill. I didn’t want anything to do with that kind of life.
“Do they know?”
“No. Only four people do. One of them is dead, the other dying, and the next two are in this room. I’m telling you this not to scare you, but to encourage you to make an informed decision. You tell me you don’t want it anymore, I can corrupt the files and neutralize the nanos.
“However, if you decide you’d appreciate the insurance, I will leave you to it. The Volkovs are blood bound to you and Damian, so you can always count on them for protection. Keep the mark and all it entails, and the Queen will reign supreme on the board.”
Sitting there, I processed all he’d told me. I was glad he hadn’t told me earlier or I might’ve had a meltdown.
“What are you going to do, Miss Kelly? You have quite a bit of power there. The secrets in your body are worth trillions. You can keep it and amass more power and influence. You’ll be the gateway for Damian, opening up doors to the highest levels of influence. You can make your king a god.”
Temptation to do just that visited me for a microsecond.
“Disable it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Very.” I cocked my head. “Besides, I think Damian and I have had enough adventure in your world for a lifetime, don’t you think?”
Marcus smiled. “Very well then. Movement number seven please.”
I settled my palm over the mark, counting to ten. The skin warmed beneath my touch. Then I traced over Damian’s initials. Forwards two times. Back once. Traced the “K” forwards and backwards once. Traced the “V” backwards. Then back to Damian’s initials.
The skin grew hot.
“Turn on your side please.”
I did as he asked. Something cold slicked across my skin. The smell of alcohol hit the air.
“Grab onto the handrail for support. It will hurt, but not as badly as it did the first time around. Try not to let out a sound. We don’t want a well-meaning nurse to end up in the supply room or get your security detail trapped in the morgue.”
I wished he was joking but I knew better.
“Sure.” Letting out a cleansing breath, I abruptly stopped Marcus. “Wait! Is this going to be safe for my baby?”
He didn’t avoid my searching gaze. “Yes. Your child won’t be harmed or effected by this. I promise.”
“Okay.” I turned away and instantly felt the needle prick. Arching my back a bit, I let ou
t a couple of choice curses beneath my breath. My side burned, but he was right. It wasn’t as bad as it had been before.
“There you go, Miss Kelly. All done. You can get the ink removed like any normal tattoo. Just wait another month to make sure the connections are dead.”
I nodded, a little discombobulated that it was done so easily. “Marcus? Was I just a guinea pig for this?”
If I thought a month’s worth of time was enough to give Marcus a sense of remorse or shame, well, I would’ve been dreadfully disappointed.
“Absolutely. The ink was experimental. My employers wanted to know its potential and now they do.”
Speculation coiled within me. “And if I wanted to keep it? Would you have respected my wishes?”
“Of course. It just would’ve meant our interactions would’ve continued. But you made a different choice and that’s why my job has come to end.” Marcus stood up. “Don’t forget the letter, Miss Kelly.”
“Marcus?”
“Yes?”
“Don’t you think it’s past time you called me Risa?”
He didn’t have a quick and ready answer. Instead, he studied me from beneath a placid expression. “McGuire was right. I can be one of the meanest sumbitches around. I’m glad I didn’t have to show you that side of me, Risa.”
While not quite the answer I expected, I felt the same. “Me too, Marcus.”
He grinned, back to looking like the harmless lie he cultivated so well. “Congratulations on your new life with Mr. Black-Price and your lovely baby. I truly hope you two will be happy together until you leave this world.”
“Thank you.”
Marcus tipped his head. “This is goodbye, Risa. May we never cross paths again.”
And just like that, he left as quickly as he entered.
Damian walked in, gaze open with concern and curiosity. “The cafeteria is closed. I can send out for a brownie though.”
“It’s okay. Honestly, I’m not that hungry.”
“What did the doctor want?”
“Sit down, Damian. I have so much to tell you.”
67
DAMIAN
Fixated on Risa’s soft voice, I could scarcely credit everything I heard. Simply put—I was stunned. She explained how my father hired Marcus and Wolffington. The deals he cut with the Volkovs and the FBI to take out the faction against me. The plan he set in motion as soon as he learned I’d fallen in love with Risa.
I didn’t bother to hide my sorrow when I heard her explain how my father didn’t want me to walk his path. He wanted me to have a chance to live a life with Risa, to be completely free of the Konstantinov name.
However, none of his planning could have come to fruition without Elaine.
She’d been willing to sacrifice everything for me. She accepted I’d hate her, in fact welcomed it, all so I wouldn’t mourn her death.
Elaine, you’ve misunderstood me all these years. I would’ve mourned you for the rest of my life.
So many people protected me, loved me, and sacrificed for me. For me. All these years I prided myself on taking everything onto my shoulders. Not solely because I was self-sufficient, but because I believed I was alone in the world.
I was wrong.
I was never alone.
“Here. This is from your father.”
Taking the envelope from Risa’s hand, I stared at the handwriting. It struck me how I’d never seen my father’s handwriting until now.
Loss rolled through me. I imagined I’d always feel his absence in ways I couldn’t imagine now.
“My love, I’d like a moment alone to read this. Do you mind?”
“Of course not.” Risa held out her arms. I didn’t hesitate to step into them. Hugging her gently, I accepted the pure love she gave me. “I’ll be right here when you get back.”
My sadness faded a bit. Risa knew exactly what I needed to hear.
“Your security is right outside. They’ll come get me if you need me at all.”
“Okay. See you in a bit, Damian.”
I quickly kissed her on the mouth, not daring to deepen it without a proper way to see to our ensuing passion. Besides, now wasn’t the time. Not when I held this first and last letter from my father.
I walked out and headed to the empty visitor’s lounge. Sitting in one of the small, uncomfortable chairs, I opened up the letter with careful motions. Grigor Konstantinov’s handwriting was much like the man had been.
Striking, precise, and bold.
My Dearest Damian,
There is much to say to you, but I fear if I wrote all my thoughts it would turn into a book. Know this—I loved you from the first moment I learned of you. I loved you when I held you in my arms. I loved you when I let you go.
I have done my best by you, but no matter how hard I tried, I am simply a man. Imperfect. I have lived my life in anger for this imperfection and it is only now that I understand the true tragedy I welcomed into my life.
It was not the mistakes but rather the inability to forgive myself that kept me in a dark hole. Remorse and guilt are not the same. Remorse ensures we recognize our wrongdoings and do better. Guilt keeps us reliving our wrongs and never moving forward.
I lived with guilt, Damian, because I let you and your mother down. In a moment of selfishness, I betrayed my vows to my wife as she was murdered in the street. I almost lost you because of it too. Even now I don’t believe I would’ve survived it if I had lost you both.
It is difficult to write the words, but you deserve to know the full truth. I was with Elaine that day and Leon is the result. I had the privilege of raising him, but I would’ve wished for Elaine to raise you both. Not because I loved Leon less, but because he deserved the same freedom as you.
I was selfish, Damian, because I missed you so. Leon was a second chance at the life I might’ve had, but my guilt was such I couldn’t even enjoy him as a father should.
I made him hard even though he was such a sweet little boy. Leon never wanted to hurt anyone or anything and I eliminated that trait for fear it was weakness. I was wrong. I miss that child and always will. Tell him that for me.
You were not supposed to live in my image. You are your own man.
Only now at the end can I forgive myself. It is my hopes that you can forgive me as well. It is also my hope that you can build a relationship with Leon. He was raised to lead the Konstantinovs and I have taken his birthright.
Help him if you can. Be there for him. There is much you can teach each other.
As far as Elaine goes, I beg you to forgive her, Damian. She trespassed, but it was not done with maliciousness. She loved me for many years and while I couldn’t return that love as she deserved, I did and do care for her. Elaine never forgave herself for that day, going so far as to give up her only biological child as repentance.
We were both wrong to give into temptation that terrible day, but I take the majority of responsibility on my shoulders. I knew how she felt about me and because of my lies and inability to be honest with your mother, I fell into the temptation of being with someone who knew my darkness and still accepted me.
Your mother never knew the truth about me because I wasn’t brave enough to tell her. Learn from my mistakes, Damian, and trust the woman you love to accept you as you are.
In many ways, you are naturally like me. You are discerning with your heart. Trust in it. Trust her.
I thank God every day that you are my son. I love you and know I am happy to finally be with your mother. Do not feel guilt. We could not both live in the same world anymore but know I made my decision with a glad heart. I will watch over you, Damian, just as I will Leon. While I would’ve wished our life’s paths to have been closer, I regret nothing because you have made me so proud of the man you’ve become.
Live your life, son, as you’ve always wished. Your path is yours to fashion as you please. Live it well.
Your loving father,
Grigor
Carefully, I folded up the
letter. The world blurred. He paid the ultimate price so I could be free. Elaine would’ve too. I lost Grigor, but I didn’t lose Elaine because of Risa and Marcus.
I definitely owed that man a debt. I only wished I could tell him.
Where was Elaine?
I pulled my phone out and called her. I perked up when I heard her familiar ringtone only a few doors away. Slowly, I followed the sound.
I saw her standing there by the window. Every line of her slender body, always so regal and in control, screamed vulnerability. Elaine looked at me, shoulders squared and chin tilted up in her familiar angle.
But her eyes told a different story.
Resignation, fear, and a tiny speck of hope clouded her gaze. It was the hope that encouraged me to walk across the room without a word and pull her into my arms.
I only had two words to say. “Thank you.”
Her rigid body slackened. She melted and it was all I could do to hold her up.
“I tried my best, Damian. Always for you.”
“I know. I am sorry for the burden you carried upon your shoulders all these years.”
Elaine shook her head. “It was never a burden, Damian. I have served you your entire life because I wanted to.”
I pulled back just far enough so that she could look up at me. “You have not been a servant, Elaine. Never.” My throat worked as I tried to keep the trembling out of my voice. “You have been the mother I always needed. I will never forget nor will I ever stop loving the woman who gave birth to me, but my love for her doesn’t make my love for you any less. You are my mother, Elaine. The best mother I could have ever hoped for. You made me strong and gave me all the tools I’d need to survive in this world.”
“Do you know what I’ve done? Did Risa tell you?”
“No. My father wrote me a letter and explained enough.”
Elaine stared up at me with a mixture of sadness and disbelief. She opened her mouth once and then closed it. Then her shoulders drew up, her head dropped down, and great sobs tore out of her throat. I held Elaine tightly against me as she wept.