Between Friends

by D. L. Sparks

  “This is Trip, India. Is she okay?”

  “She’s doing better.”

  “How are you?” I asked.

  “I’m hanging in there. I’m watching TV with Cameron.”

  “Okay.”

  “How’s your mom? Do you guys need anything?”

  “No, we’re good. My mother is taking a nap. Are you gonna stop by? I know they would like to see you.”

  “I’m on my way.”

  “Thanks, Trip.”

  Twenty minutes later I was sitting in their mother’s living-room with Idalis. She and India had swapped places, and now she was upstairs taking a nap. Their mother had come down briefly for something to eat and to have some tea, and I was able to see her and offer my condolences.

  For the first time since I’d known the family, I felt uncomfortable sitting in their house. I watched as her son played in the middle of the living-room floor. Every so often, he would bring me one of his cars or trucks in an attempt to maintain our friendship.

  I looked at Idalis. A mirror image of India. Her eyes were rimmed in red. She fidgeted with the seam on the side of her Capri jeans. She was sitting with one leg folded under her, and her sockless foot was bouncing up and down.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  She shook her head and wiped a stray tear from her cheek. “No, but I have to be right?”

  “I wish there were something I could do.”

  She gave me a weak smile. “Yeah, me too.”

  I took a deep breath. “Look, I’m really sorry about the other day.”

  “It’s okay. I wouldn’t have expected anything less out of both of y’all being in the same room,” she said. The whole time she spoke, she never took her eyes off Cameron, who was now coloring.

  “You wanna talk?”

  “Not really. Not now.”

  I watched as her leg bounced up and down. She was unraveling right before my eyes, and I felt helpless to stop it.

  “Idalis, it’s me. You can talk to me. You know that, right?”

  She got up and started picking up toys from the middle of the floor. “I said I’m okay. Please, let’s not do this now. Ok?”

  “I’m just worried about you. Everyone is.”

  She stopped what she was doing and glared at me. “Everyone? Who is everyone, Trip?”

  “Wait. What are you getting upset about?” I asked.

  She stood up, hands on her hips. “So what are you saying? You and everyone have been having conversations about me behind my back?”

  “Come on now, it’s not like that, and you know it.”

  “Then what is it?” She stood there and looked at me as if I had two heads. I didn’t want to upset her. I knew she was dealing with a lot, but I couldn’t help what my gut was telling me.

  “You know what, Trip. Can you please just go?”

  “Idalis, I didn’t come over here to argue with you.”

  “I can’t tell. And you can tell Dionne she needs to mind her own business.”

  I let out a short laugh. “Oh, so now you mad at her? She just came to me out of concern. If you wanna be mad at anyone, you should be mad at—”

  She cut me off. “Myself!”

  “What?”

  “That’s what you were going to say, right?”

  I took a step toward her. “What are you talking about? Nobody is blaming you for anything.”

  Her eyes filled with tears. “Just go, Trip.”

  I stood there for a second. “Are you serious?”

  “Yes I am. I’m about to bury my grandmother, and you come at me with this?”

  “This is crazy.”

  “I can’t do this. You come back into town and turn my world upside down and ... and it’s too much.”

  “Wait a minute! You showed up at my hotel room, or did you forget that?”

  She bit her bottom lip as I watched anger flash across her face. “Wow, you had to go there.”

  “Yes, I did. You been pushing and pulling me ever since—”

  “You know what”—she bent down and picked up Cameron—“just go.”

  Part of me wanted to stay and try to figure out where all this was coming from, but I was too tired both emotionally and physically to argue with her. And she was right; she was about to bury her grandmother and I didn’t want to make it any harder for her.

  I headed toward the door. I grabbed the knob, but I didn’t turn it. She walked up behind me, ready to usher me out of her life.

  “When is the funeral?” I asked.

  When she didn’t answer me, I turned around and looked at her. The cold look in her eyes spoke volumes.

  She didn’t want me there.

  I shook my head and stepped out onto the porch.

  Before I could say anything, I heard the door close behind me.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Idalis

  I had been in a fog for the better part of a week.

  And when I wasn’t feeling my way through the day, I was riding some sleeping aid to dreamland. I vaguely remembered Dionne picking up Cameron and taking him to her house so we could get ready for the funeral. The funeral itself was surreal. I felt like a shell of myself as I navigated the mourners who flooded the church. I was completely numb through the whole thing. I could feel the squeeze of the hugs and barely focused on the words of encouragement being offered up. It was a good thing that India was standing next to me or I would’ve toppled over. I was even less clear on how I ended up sitting at my mom’s kitchen table, trying to decide what to do about my grandmother’s stuff.

  I watched my mother interact with the people who had gathered at the house, all bearing a different covered dish. As much as she tried to hide it, I could tell she was tired. I was happy when she was finally able to go and lie down. After the repast my mother went to her room and closed her door. I made sure she ate before she retreated into her own personal grief. India had ended up falling asleep on the couch.

  Trip respected my wishes and didn’t come to the funeral. I knew I couldn’t have handled him and Linc being in the same room again. After what had happened the last time they were together, I needed space to figure out how to right my wrongs.

  However, no matter what my self-serving reasons were, I still couldn’t shake the look that his mother and sister kept giving me during the service. It wasn’t anger as much as it was pity. But the look that my mother gave me after finding out that I’d asked Trip not to come was anything but sympathetic. It was a look that would’ve made me pee my pants when I was kid.

  I made my way to the living-room and threw a blanket over my sleeping sister before heading upstairs to check on my mother. I pushed the door back and saw her sleeping peacefully, which made me feel a little better. It was coming up on eight and I needed to call and check on Cameron. Lincoln left the repast and said he was heading to the station. I was actually thankful that he was gone. I didn’t need his attitude around me either.

  After putting away the food, I sat down and called Dionne. I didn’t think Cameron needed to be at the funeral, around all the crying and sadness. He was too little to understand, and Dionne was sweet enough to keep him for me.

  “Hey, are you okay?” she asked when she answered.

  I sank onto one of the chairs in the kitchen. “Yeah. I’m good. Mom is asleep and India is taking a nap on the couch.”

  “Have you slept?”

  “Not yet. How’s Cameron?”

  “He’s fine. He just finished eating. He’s watching Wonder Pets.”

  I laughed a little. “You’re gonna get the song stuck in your head.”

  “Already there.”

  We both laughed a little.

  “I think I’m gonna head to my house tonight and drop off our dirty clothes and get some clean ones. I can come and get Cameron in the morning.”

  “That’s fine.”

  “Thank you so much.”

  As much as I wanted to be mad at her for talking to Trip behind my back, I knew it
was coming from a place of genuine concern, so I couldn’t be mad. I appreciated all she did for me, so I decided not to even bring it up.

  “I’m surprised that Trip and Lincoln made it through the funeral without choking each other,” she said.

  I swallowed hard. “Trip wasn’t there.”

  “What? Why?”

  “I asked him not to come.”

  She let out a sigh and got quiet.

  “Don’t do that, Dionne.”

  “Do what?”

  “I did what I thought was best for me and my family.”

  “No, you did what you thought was best for you and Lincoln.”

  “You know what. Since you wanna open that door, I would appreciate it if you’d stop going behind my back and telling Trip on me. I’m grown.”

  “Grown? Idalis that man had you in your office in tears. And I don’t care what you say I know he did something to you that night. I was just worried about you,” she countered.

  “Well you can stop worrying, I’m fine.”

  She didn’t say anything. I knew she was mad, but no one was as angry as I was. I wasn’t going to let anyone make me feel bad for doing what I believed in my heart to be the best thing.

  “Look, once this is over Trip’s going back to Louisiana. That’s the one point everyone seems to keep overlooking,” I pointed out.

  “So that’s what your problem is? You don’t want to open up because he’s gonna leave?”

  “That’s what he does. He bails.”

  “And what do you think you’re doing?”

  “Trying to be happy and build a stable home life for my son.”

  “With Lincoln?” She let out a sound of disgust. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “Don’t do that, please.”

  “Idalis, you really need to snap out from whatever it is you’re going through. Lincoln isn’t right for you, and you know it. You’ve known it longer than you want to admit. Your relationship hasn’t been right for a long time.”

  “We’re just going through something, that’s all.”

  “Dealing with things for a few weeks is going through something—y’all have been going at it off and on for the last few years.”

  “So what I guess you think that Trip is the answer?”

  “That’s not what I’m saying. But, honestly, I definitely know that Linc isn’t.”

  I got up and started pacing the small area in front of the kitchen sink. “You just don’t understand, Dionne.”

  “Well, help me understand.”

  I stopped dead in my tracks and focused on the tiny clock hanging above the door leading to the hallway. I watched the second hand sweep around the face of the clock. I wanted to help her understand, felt like maybe I would understand more myself if I talked it out. But I couldn’t. The words were stuck in my head, refusing to be put on display and ridiculed.

  I let out a heavy sigh. “Look, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I’m really tired.”

  “Fine, get some sleep.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Okay. Here’s Cameron.”

  I heard some fumbling around as she put my baby on the phone.

  “Hi, Mommy.”

  Hearing his tiny voice brought tears to my eyes. “Hey, baby. Are you having fun with Aunt Dionne?” I smiled.

  “Yes.”

  “Okay, it’s almost time for bed. I’ll be there to get you in the morning.”

  “Okay. Bye, Mommy.”

  There was more fumbling before Dionne’s voice came back on the line.

  “Thanks again, Dionne. I told him it was time for bed. Don’t let him sucker you into staying up all night.”

  She laughed. “I won’t. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Try to get some sleep.”

  “I will. Good night.”

  I disconnected the call and did one more check on my sister and mother. They were both still sleeping. I managed to drag a half-asleep India upstairs to bed, and she even seemed coherent when I told her I was gonna go home and I’d be back in the morning.

  I stepped into my empty house and felt like I didn’t belong. Not because it had been a couple days since I’d slept there, but mainly because everything about my life seemed wrong at this point. If I wanted, I could blame everyone from Trip to my mother for what I was dealing with, but that wouldn’t be right or fair.

  After I threw some fresh clothes for Cameron and me in a bag, I took a long, hot shower and pulled on an oversized pair of pajama pants and a T-shirt. In the kitchen I pieced together a small salad and warmed up some salmon, which was in the fridge. I had been so focused on my mother eating that I hadn’t had anything since breakfast.

  Just as I finished eating, my sister called. She barely remembered what I told her before I left.

  “Are you okay? When are you coming back over here?”

  “Twin, I told you before I left that I’d be back in the morning. I’ll probably go get Cameron first.”

  “Okay.”

  “Mama still asleep?”

  “Yeah.” She yawned.

  It was contagious.

  I did the same.

  “What are you doing?” she asked.

  I picked up the remote. “Watching TV. Trying to relax. It’s too quiet.”

  “You need to try to get some sleep.”

  I flipped past a rerun of The Office, settling on an even older episode of Grey’s Anatomy. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

  “You wanna talk?”

  I rubbed my temple. “No.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’ve had enough stress for one day.”

  There was a moment of silence before my sister did what she does best, try to fix everything and everyone around her, forcing her opinion on you even when you didn’t ask for it. She’d had that problem forever, and obviously had no intention of trying to break the annoying habit.

  “He’s like ... family. And you were wrong for not letting him come to the funeral. Grammie was like a grandmother to him too.”

  “Are you kidding me?” My defenses shot up like a steel trapdoor.

  “You heard me, Twin. You were dead-ass wrong, and you know it.”

  “The only thing I know is you have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Oh, I don’t?” she snapped back. “I’ve been carrying around this weight with you, Idalis! It’s a lot on me too. You’re being selfish.”

  I chewed on the inside of my mouth, used that as a counteraction to stop the tears that were stinging my eyes.

  “What do you want me to do, Twin? Huh? Since you know everything, tell me what to do!” I got up and grabbed some tissue from the bookcase. “You don’t think this is hard for me? You’re leaving, anyway, so what do you care?”

  “Oh, hell no! You’re not putting this shit on me. I have nothing to do with this. You’re playing this thing like a game—and, worst of all, you’re changing and making up rules to suit you.”

  “You need to keep your voice down before you wake up my mother.”

  “Whatever, Idalis.”

  “So now the girl who can’t, or rather won’t, hold down a job, and who hasn’t had a real relationship in years, is gonna tell me how to be a grown-up? Yeah, miss me with that.”

  She blew out some air. “You know what, Idalis? I may not have a nine-to-five gig, and yeah, I don’t have a man. But I know right from wrong, and you’re wrong. Trip doesn’t deserve this.”

  “I didn’t ask you for your opinion.”

  “Well, you need to ask somebody, because you are out of control! You can think for yourself, but instead you’re letting some dog-ass man dictate your life. That’s crazy, Idalis! What happened to the strong, older-by-three-minutes sister I always looked up to?”

  “I’m right here.”

  “No, you’re not. You’ve allowed Lincoln to turn you into some fuckin’ Stepford wife, who can’t go to the bathroom without checking with him first.”

  “That’s not true.”

  �
��Yes, it is. I know it, Mom sees it, and Grammie saw it before she died. You left that cushy job at the Four Seasons just because he bought you a damn club. What kind of shit is that?”

  “Did you ever think maybe I liked that club?”

  “Yeah, right. He only did that to keep tabs on you Idalis. I’m not stupid and neither are you.”

  “Well, once you move to California, you won’t have to worry about me or my club!”

  “You know what? Bye!”

  After I hung up, I tossed my phone onto the couch and stared at it for a few seconds. I wanted to call back and make her understand. I wanted to scream at her. I wanted to cry and beg her to stay. She’s my twin; she was my best friend, even before Trip.

  Why couldn’t she see that without her, I just didn’t feel I made sense?

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Trip

  My truck was wide open, slicing through traffic on I-20, headed east.

  We’d gotten a tip that Darius was hiding out at a cousin’s house, out in Decatur. Right now, a lot was hinging on what he could or couldn’t tell us. The fact that he was running had pissed me off. Lenny and two other agents were already set up at the house, where another agent on my team and I were headed. They’d been watching it since last night and were sure he was there.

  It had been almost a week and I hadn’t spoken to Idalis. Phil was intermittently conscious, but he wasn’t coherent enough to answer any questions yet. My mere presence in Georgia had ruined two lives so far; I was determined to right at least one wrong, and Darius was going to help me do it.

  Whether he wanted to do so or not.

  I jumped off at Memorial Drive and sped by the jail. I hooked a right onto Kensington and pulled into Avondale Estates. I stopped at the top of Kingstone.

  The streets were quiet. I radioed Lenny to let him know I was in the neighborhood.

  “We’re watching the address. Two females exited about twenty minutes ago, but no one has left since,” he chirped back.

  “Any movement in the house?”

  “Not yet.”

  I parked my truck around the corner, and Agent Michaels and I hopped out, making our way toward the address. I noticed another agent alongside the house. He moved closer to the front when he saw us.

  “Two pit bulls in the back. Sounds like there is at least one in the house,” he said.