Finding Purpose (Colorado Veterans Book 1)

by Tiffani Lynn

  “Carlo, look at me.” His big doe eyes, so sad, meet mine and I know whatever he faced here is bad. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what happened. I need to know everything.”

  He lays his head back on his knees, looking away from us and says, “Nothing. It was nothing.” He won’t look at either of us and he won’t say anything else.

  “Carlo, please tell us. If not, I’ll call the social worker and tell her you need a visit now.”

  “It won’t matter. She’ll leave me here and then I’ll be in trouble for having her come here. Just leave it alone.” He sounds defeated, like he’s done this dance before and knows the outcome.

  Dex finally sits down and shares, “Listen, kid, I grew up in the system and I’m not leaving this damn house until you tell me what happened. I know the code. You never rat on anyone, but I can’t leave you here looking like that since I have an idea how it happened. Start talking. Once I know the story we’ll decide how to proceed, but I’m finding out the story one way or another.” Carlo stares at him for what feels like an eternity but is really only a couple of minutes. I don’t move a muscle, afraid I’ll end the standoff.

  “This kid, Jeremy, he’s tough. He wanted to make sure I know whose house this is. He ain’t got no patience for new kids. Didn’t want me to get any ideas about being a favorite with the foster parents. He picked the fight and blamed it on me. Then all the kids backed him up because they are scared to go against him. I’ll be fine. If you make a big deal they’ll punish me more. Even the foster parents.”

  Dex swears under his breath and stands to pace the room. “Let me think,” he says. Carlo and I watch him go back and forth for five full minutes, not saying a word. Finally, Dex stops and asks, “You unpacked yet?”

  Carlo nods.

  “Okay, then grab what little you brought with you. You’re coming with us. I’m not leaving you here to deal with Jeremy or the foster parents.” Dex looks at me. “Call the social worker and tell her we’re on our way to her office and she needs to be prepared to place him somewhere else. We can explain when we get there. Don’t let her give you any lip. I’m not messing around with this shit. Someone should have been out here to document this. No kid should have to worry about this in his home, foster care of otherwise.” He shifts his focus to Carlo. “Grab your stuff and we’ll carry it out of here. Where’s your coat? It’s really cold outside. Probably going to snow later today.”

  “I ain’t got one. I only got a few things.”

  “No coat,” Dex huffs under his breath. I’ve seen Dex irritated but never pissed like this.

  Carlo crawls off the bed and winces as he twists his torso.

  “Stop,” I demand. He looks at me with weary eyes. “Why are you moving around awkwardly?”

  “I got hit in the side. It’s nothin’.”

  Dex doesn’t even blink. He strides over and lifts the side of Carlo’s shirt. There’s a purple and red bruise the size of a giant Denny’s pancake on his side, half on his ribs and half off. Dex swears and I feel the burn of tears at the back of my eyes. What went on here last night?

  I blink them back and tell him, “Okay, get your stuff. I’m going to step outside and call Ms. Winsted and have a word with the foster mother. It’s going to be okay.”

  Bounding up the stairs, my anger boils inside like seafood at a low country boil. I find the foster mother. “I’m calling the social worker now. We’re removing Carlo from the home. He’s in worse shape than we were led to believe. You’d better hope you filed the proper forms for this or you’ll have to answer for more than just what’s happened to him. I’m sure this isn’t the first incident in this house.”

  The terrified expression on her face tells me she didn’t do anything except tell the social worker there was a fight. She was going to push this under the rug and hope it went away. I wonder how many other kids have suffered at Jeremy’s hands and nothing has been done. Footsteps clump in behind me and Carlo slides up beside me. I place a gentle hand on his head.

  “Come here and let her see the bruise on your side.” His eyes echo the fear of earlier. “It’s okay, buddy. Just show her.”

  He lifts his shirt and the moment the full thing comes into view she gasps and slaps a hand to her mouth. She shakes her head in a quick jerky motion. “I didn’t know it was there. I didn’t know.”

  I push Carlo behind me protectively and say through clenched teeth, “That’s probably true, but you knew his eye is swollen shut, his lip is busted and he has bear claw type scratches down his face. He should’ve had a full exam after the fight, just by looking at his eye. He can barely open the damn thing. I’m not sure what punishment you gave Jeremy, but I’m not sure it was enough It’s now become my mission to see that someone will handle this properly. This kid was taken away from his mother yesterday and placed in a strange home with people he doesn’t know, and instead of trying to help him get acclimated you let him get the shit beat out of him. I’m not okay with it and neither is my partner. He happens to be a product of the system so he knows how this goes. Nothing gets by him so I’m thinking you might be a little screwed.” I turn to Dex and instruct, “Go load him up while I call.”

  Before he leads Carlo out the door he removes his coat and drapes the giant piece of clothing over him. “It’s too cold to take him out without a coat. He can use mine and I’ll get him one on the way to the social worker’s office.” He points at the foster mother and says, “That should have already been taken care of. If he didn’t get beat up, he’d be at school right now with no coat.”

  The foster mother says nothing.

  I call the social worker, who seems more bored than concerned, to inform her of the fact that we’ve pulled him from the home. By the time I get to the car I’m seething mad. Doesn’t anyone care what happens to Carlo? No wonder he was hiding in the closet when we came for him. I’m surprised he didn’t jump out the window and run.

  When I shuffle through the door of our home at the end of my shift, I find the table set with candlelight and soft music playing in the background. Judson’s in the kitchen in a well-worn T-shirt, threadbare blue jeans, and shoeless. His short hair is damp and a little messy, like he didn’t comb it after his shower, and the five o’clock shadow I left him with in bed this morning is a little heavier, almost making a full beard. A kitchen towel is thrown haphazardly over one shoulder and a spatula is in his hand. His smile is bright against his dark facial hair and the little crinkles in the corners of his eyes give his sexy smile even more character. A little bit of my shitty day fades away as he greets me with a kiss that would melt the panties off a Victoria’s Secret model. “Hey, Daisy, how was your day?”

  I sigh and drag off my coat, hanging it on the coatrack by the door. “Shitty. It was horrible. Carlo, that kid I told you about yesterday, he got beat up pretty bad at the foster home. I’m glad we checked on him because the foster parents were acting like nothing happened. We pulled him from the home and had him placed with an elderly couple who only take on special cases. Dex is pissed. He’s made this kid a priority and we’ll make sure he gets taken care of.”

  Judson squints as he studies me for a second. “Are you okay?”

  I shrug. “I’m not happy about any of it. You should’ve seen him. He looked like he’d been in an MMA fight. He’s 10 freakin’ years old. He should be protected, not used as a punching bag.”

  “I’m sorry your day was bad. I’ll do my best to make it better. Go get changed. Dinner will be on the table when you get back, then I’m taking you to see something amazing.”

  He looks like a little kid as he smiles at me, anxious to share something new.

  “Okay, I’ll be back out in a few minutes.” He brushes his lips against mine and turns back to the kitchen. It’s then I notice his pronounced limp, which only happens when his body is tired or he’s pushed himself too hard physically. I don’t say a word. I figure I’ll ask questions at dinner.

  Chapter Thirteen

 
; Quinn

  A couple of lovely hours later we are in the truck, bumping down the dirt road towards the pond. The snow flurries are floating down and melting to water droplets the instant they hit the warm windshield. It looks like something out of a movie filled with magical creatures and snowy meadows. He pulls up to the parking spot he cleared out when we first moved in, turns around and backs in. Once the keys are out of the ignition he says, “Come on, meet me around back.” I do as I’m told and when I reach the tailgate of the truck he’s spreading a heavy blanket across the bed. “Climb up here, Daisy.” He wiggles his gloved fingers at me and helps me to sit on the edge of the tailgate. “Let your eyes get acclimated to the dark.”

  “Isn’t it a little cold to hang out in the back of your truck tonight?” I don’t normally question him, but it’s cold, I’m tired and it’s already been a long day.

  His left cheek ticks up on the side with a half grin. “It’ll be worth it. I know after the day you had, you need some peace and this is as peaceful as it gets. Now scoot back and lie down facing the sky.”

  I do as I’m told and I feel the truck shake with the weight of his body adjustment. He covers me with an extra blanket and settles next to me. Our shoulders are touching and we’re both on our backs. I can feel cold little flakes landing on the exposed skin of my face. The air around us is silent, the way it gets when the snow is floating from the sky like it has all the time in the world to reach the ground. The wind isn’t even blowing tonight. The faint hint of Judson’s cologne and the evergreen scent from the pines all over the property permeate the air. I take a deep breath and soak it in. As I’m letting it out, a beam of light shines into the sky next to me. It’s a high-powered flashlight and it’s illuminating the snowflakes as they make their way down to cover us. It’s amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it. I grew up with snow in the winter but have never done this before.

  “Wow,” I whisper, afraid to be too loud and corrupt the peacefulness of the moment.

  “I knew you’d like it. My brother and I used to ride out to the field, away from the lights of the house and barn to do this. We always thought it was so cool. I wonder if he’s shown his kids this trick yet. Mom showed us this. She said it was like being in our own snow globe.”

  “She’s right! It’s like magic. I love it. Thank you.”

  After 10 minutes he passes me the flashlight and turns to his side. I adjust the beam so it’s aimed just right.

  “I love you more than anything, Quinn. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I realize I wasn’t the softest guy in the world before the Navy, but I was better at all of this relationship stuff and some days I wish I was still the man I was our last night in Columbus together.”

  “I don’t. I don’t want you any way but how you are right now. I want you to open up to me a little more, but I’m not disappointed in you, physically or emotionally. I love every part of you. I’m proud to have a warrior at my side.” He leans down and presses his cold lips to mine and for a moment I forget I’m lying in the back of his truck in the freezing weather as the snow falls all around us. I’m just a girl, in love with a boy, in a moment I wouldn’t trade for anything.

  “I’m going to spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you. So you’ll know I realize what I have with you is priceless and perfect.”

  “Judson,” I whisper, a little sad at his declaration. Even though I have Judson, I still don’t see the point in getting married. I don’t want to trap him with me in case he decides he does want kids. It’ll be easier for him to leave if it ever comes to that.

  Almost like he can read my mind he says, “Quinn, we don’t have to get married to be together forever. We just have to love each other and fight through the hard times together.” He kisses me breathless and then rolls to his back, taking the flashlight again. We lie there in silence for another half hour, enjoying our life-size snow globe as the peace consumes us both.

  On the ride back to the house I ask, “Did you really mean it when you said I could ask you anything?” I chew the side of my lip. It makes me nervous to ask him certain questions but I’m anxious to hear the answers.

  “Of course,” he replies, his eyes still on the road.

  “Since you ended up back in your hometown, are you sorry you gave up Jenny and the chance at a family?”

  He stops the truck right in the middle of the dirt road, throws it in park and rests his hands in his lap. The light from the dashboard illuminates his face enough I can see the strain in his eyes.

  He doesn’t hesitate to give me his answer. “No, I’m not. I needed to see the world and serve my country. I needed the escape and the challenge that the SEALs provided.”

  “What about Jenny?” I ask in a quiet voice. He turns to face me and reaches across the space of the cab. “I was in love with you before I broke up with Jenny. I told you that. I know it’s wrong, even now I feel bad about it, but it’s the truth. I was never meant to be with Jenny. I should have broken up with her the day after I woke up with you on my bathroom floor. I love you, I have for a long time, but I was such an emotional mess and going into a dangerous profession. I didn’t think it was fair to drag you into the military life. I wanted you to have a normal life with a husband who’d be home every night to love you and take care of you.”

  I turn away as I confess, “I saw you with her on the porch during your recovery. It made me wonder if you wish there had been more. If you wish you made different choices. She’s still beautiful.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me you were jealous all this time?” he teases me, his tone different from a moment ago. I keep my eyes turned away so he can’t see what’s brewing in them.

  “Hey. Look at me, Quincy.” I hesitate before I turn to face him. “I love you. You aren’t my consolation prize because Jenny didn’t wait for me. You are the prize. She even told me that day on the back porch that she thought we, you and I, belong together. Even she knows. I don’t need a family, other than you. If you don’t want to get married we won’t, but you’re still mine. Always will be. Don’t ever doubt it.”

  Judson

  Three months have passed since we bought this property and I can’t help but be proud of the finished barn, which is now safe and functional. Every piece of rotting wood has been replaced and the whole thing has been painted on the outside. The finished product is a big red barn like something you might find in a children’s picture book.

  I have a man named Connor coming by to check out the property and discuss fees. He bought a horse for his daughter and needs to board him somewhere. I’m hoping he chooses us so we’ll have some income to help us afford more of the renovations we want to make on the house and the landscaping in the spring. I’d love to surprise Quinn with the news.

  A heavy-duty black pickup truck pulls into the driveway and parks. A tall, middle-aged man wearing a tan cowboy hat, jeans, a flannel shirt, and boots hops out of the truck and rounds the hood. I step through the gate and leave it open behind me. We shake hands and I introduce myself and usher him towards the barn.

  “Connor, I just replaced all of the beams and updated the equipment. We have a pond on the back part of the property and plenty of trails to take the horses on. Our plan is to add some help after we get a few horses, but for now I’ll be handling the care. My lady is a police officer on shift work, but she’ll help when she’s here. I grew up around here and raised horses on a farm with my family so I know all that’s needed. We have a friend who’s a large animal vet and willing to make house calls for us if need be. If we plan to leave town for any reason, I’ve got someone I trust willing to stay while we’re gone.”

  He looks me over once with a thoughtful expression and finally says, “I’m not trying to be an asshole, but I have to ask if you’re physically up for this task. I’m not sure what caused that…” he gestures to my prosthesis, which is only visible at the foot and ankle right now, and continues, “but I don’t want to go to all the trouble of paperwork and i
nsurance and transport if this is doomed from the start.”

  I stand up straighter for a second and mull over what he’s just said. “Sir, I’m a former Navy SEAL, had this happen while on patrol in Afghanistan almost two years ago. Although it looks bad I can assure you I’m in top physical condition. I did all of the renovations on this place myself. I only had help with things requiring two sets of hands. I work out every day and can probably handle more physical exertion than you can with both legs, to be quite honest. I understand if your concern keeps you from boarding your horse here, but I think you’re making a mistake. The attention your horse will get here will have no comparison at other stables.” I keep my shoulders squared and my eyes locked on his. I understand his worry, but there’s no way I’ll buckle under that kind of scrutiny. I’ve fought long and hard to get back in shape, both physically and mentally.

  There’s a long pause while Connor studies me, eyes squinted in thought.

  “Afghanistan?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I served in Desert Storm. I was Army, but I get it. I’m sure you’re right by saying our horse will get more attention here so we’ll try it out. I can deliver him this weekend if that works for you.”

  “That’s fine. We can fill out the paperwork when you drop off. You’ll be able to meet Quinn at that time too, she’s off this weekend.”

  He shakes my hand and smiles at me. “Good doin’ business with you, man.”

  When he pulls out of the driveway I breathe a sigh of relief and grin, knowing all of my hard work on that barn is about to pay off.

  Two hours later, Quinn pulls up. I remove the chicken breasts from the grill and place them on a plate as she makes her way up the porch stairs and through the door.

  “Hey, Daisy,” I say as I kiss her forehead.

  She peers up at me through her long dark lashes and asks, “Isn’t it a little cold out here to be grilling?”