Leaving Oxford

by Janet W. Ferguson

  He stretched and let out a little groan.

  “I have to attend a big shindig with the higher-ups on Monday for this movie we’re marketing. Think you could be my date?”

  He rubbed his eyes and blinked. “Monday, there’s no way. I can’t switch shifts.”

  Pain snaked around her heart, squeezing tight. Was this always going to be how things were? Completely separate lives? “But you could make some great contacts at these parties. We’re talking high-dollar contributors for your cause.”

  “There won’t be anything to contribute to if I don’t work these long hours.”

  Right. Like one night would kill his career. Things were never going to change. The truth settled over her like a pile of stones. Her breath caught in her throat as she turned away.

  Moving from the couch, Adam approached from behind, solid arms encasing her. “You’ll do fine without me.”

  The embers of disappointment she’d been burying for years ignited into fury. She pulled away and spun around. “I don’t want to do without you. I’m sick and tired of doing without you. I want to do with you. People are starting to think I just made up my boyfriend Adam”—she made air quotes around the words—“And I can’t remember the last time we went anywhere together. Don’t even tell me you have to pay the rent. You were old enough to get your trust fund a while back, and you get two salaries from the hospital.”

  “Whoa.” Adam held one hand up like a stop sign, and the muscles in his jaw twitched. “You had to know that my medical career would take up a lot of time. My work is important, and I happen to love it.”

  “Obviously you love your career more than me.” She pushed past him, picked up her keys and bag, and threw open the door. “You can commit to school, the hospital, your research, but never to me.” A slam rattled the wall as she left.

  She ran to her SUV, got in, shut the door, and drove out of the lot. “What am I doing? I’ve been such an idiot.” Her thoughts accused her again and again. She’d been lying to herself for so long. Why? Minutes passed in a blur of frustration and tears. The roads jumbled before her. Where was she?

  Landmarks led her to Santa Monica and the beach, then she continued north toward Malibu. For miles, she drove. Soaring mountains towered along the ocean with the full moon illuminating the sky. Scanning the radio for a station, a song caught her attention. The words said something about God being a strong tower, a shelter. She pressed the volume higher to listen. An urge to look right turned her head. Pepperdine University clung to the mountains above, and she made a quick turn up to the guard gate.

  “Is there a place where I could sit for a while?”

  Nodding, the guard handed her a pass. “Here’s a map. There’s a chapel up the road.”

  She wound around the mountain until she found the white stone building, parked, and got out. Her heart yearned for the closeness her parents had shared with the Lord—the looks on their faces when they’d sung praise songs in church. She’d tried to replace God with all the wrong things, and the emptiness echoed through her soul. Why had she let them down? Let Gram down. And God. How could she ever make things right? How could she start over?

  The sky stretched for miles out over the Pacific. Peace descended on her. In the stillness, the phrase, I Am here, covered over her soul. She sat on a wooden bench staring at the ocean for a long while.

  The chirp of her phone broke into her thoughts. Mark. Adam must have called him. “Hello.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yes.”

  “Adam was worried about you. He said that he’d never seen you that angry. You’d never stormed out before. Why didn’t you call me?”

  “I was wrong about everything.” She let out a long sigh, holding back the storm of sorrow that threatened to spill out. “I needed to think about what a mess I’ve made. I pushed God away in college, and Adam’s never going to marry me.” Her voice broke. “I want a family—like we had growing up. I don’t know how to start over.”

  “Where are you?”

  “Malibu.”

  “Long way from home.” Concern etched his voice. “Do you want to come back to the Lord?”

  “I don’t know how.”

  “Wanting the Lord—that’s all it takes. Baby steps back to God. You take one step toward Him, and He’s running back to you like you’re His long lost child. Remember the story of the prodigal son?”

  She remembered the story from her childhood as tears welled in her eyes. “I do.”

  “Good. Why don’t you call one of your friends or get a motel. Let me know where you end up, or I’ll be calling the FBI office in Los Angeles.”

  She choked out a tiny laugh and sniffed. “Okay. I’m sorry Adam worried you. Thanks for always being here for me. Love you. Miss you.”

  “I love you, too. And remember—”

  “I know, God loves me more, and He will be with me until the end of time.”

  ~~~

  Sunday, the small congregation of inner-city residents welcomed Sarah Beth. Juan’s youngest daughter sat in her lap, and as the members sang, Sarah Beth played with the girl’s shiny dark hair, the way her mother had done when she was a little girl. She hadn’t allowed herself to think of that for years. The memories were too painful. Even now they pricked her heart. The minister spoke about a woman at a well—and how Jesus didn’t scorn the woman for her lifestyle, but rather confronted her with the truth. Jesus met her where she was—which happened to be living with a man who wasn’t her husband.

  Ironic.

  Juan took her arm as the service ended. “What did you think? Did you feel comfortable?”

  “The lesson was appropriate.” As if God had met her right where she was.

  Juan’s eyes held tenacity and kindness. “God knew what you needed to hear.”

  “Maybe so.” Was God speaking directly to her? Mark would say yes.

  ~~~

  “Hair and makeup appointment at one.” Jill rounded the door to Sarah Beth’s office, grinning.

  Sarah Beth gawked at her. “Hair and makeup? I mean, I can maybe see getting my hair styled, but makeup?”

  “I refuse to let you show up like you normally do, in just mascara and Chapstick.”

  “Hey, I’m trying to focus on my work, not my face. Makeup isn’t practical.”

  “Tonight we’re going for glamour, not practical.” Jill grabbed Sarah Beth’s fingers. “I can’t believe I forgot about these. Let’s get your nails done, too.”

  When the hair, makeup, and nails were complete, Sarah Beth went into the office restroom and slipped on her new dress. The A-line with silky blue fabric fitted to the waist flowed loosely to the floor.

  “Wow, you’re a knockout.” Circling her, Jill whistled. “I feel like I’m looking at a movie star.”

  Sarah Beth glanced at herself in the mirror. This wasn’t her, but Jill had been right. She couldn’t have gone in just lip balm and mascara. “I can’t believe they’re making me attend this thing.”

  “I’d take your place in a heartbeat. Sounds like fun, plus all those celebrities. I’m riding the elevator down with you. I can’t wait to see the expressions when the other guys see.”

  “I can.” They’d all have an escort, and she’d be alone.

  Bill and his wife, Carol, along with two other executives gathered in the office lobby to travel in the limos. Bill’s mouth dropped when he caught a glimpse of Sarah Beth. “I thought we were dragging along my little Mississippi prodigy. Who are you?” He grinned. “Carol, does this look like the college girl Greg Latham sent us?”

  An adoring smile filled Carol’s face. “You’re gonna knock ‘em dead.”

  Sarah Beth gave both of them a tight hug. “You’re the closest thing I have to parents here, and I’ll always be thankful you took a chance and hired me.”

  After the awards, the party dragged on for hours, and Sarah Beth massaged her cheeks. Who knew forcing herself to smile could hurt this much? She needed a break and caffeine. Excusing he
rself, she went to the bar. “Can I get a cola, please?”

  “Of course.” The bartender filled a glass and handed it back on a napkin.

  Eyes closed, she sipped the drink and let out a sigh. Someone sat down in the barstool next to her. She should probably open her eyes.

  A man rested his elbows on the bar to her left, then lifted his drink toward her. “You look like you’re having about as much fun as I am.”

  Famous green eyes stared at her. Was she really face-to-face with the movie star? Oh my stars. Literally. She wiped her mouth with a napkin.

  “Hi, I’m Dylan Conner.” He extended his hand.

  “Sarah Beth LeClair.”

  He cocked an eyebrow. “The Sarah Beth LeClair?”

  “Uh, then no. That’s not my name.” She took another sip of her drink.

  He chuckled. “You’re not the genius who designed the promo?”

  “Oh, that Sarah Beth LeClair. I wasn’t sure where you were going.”

  “Where would you like me to go?” The actor shot her his legendary wicked grin.

  The last thing she wanted to do was flirt. Staring into her drink, she stirred the ice around with a straw. “So, are you saying you liked my work?”

  “I love your work, and suddenly, I’m enthralled with the creative genius behind it. You’re an impressive lady—not just a pretty face.”

  Not just a pretty face. Adam’s line. She sighed. “I hate that you said that.”

  “Bad memory?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “Hate when I hear that one. How can we work to uncomplicate things?”

  “I’m not sure.” The million-dollar question. “I want to get right with the Lord. I’m thinking of getting my own place, maybe in Malibu. I rode up and did some serious thinking and praying there not long ago. I have stuff I need to work on, and the view of the ocean and mountains relaxed and inspired me.” Why did she just spill her guts to this movie star? He probably wished he never started this conversation. “I guess I overshared. Sorry.”

  “Don’t be.” His mouth quirked into a crooked grin. “Would you want to buy or lease? Because I was talking to my Realtor about selling my condo. I bought it after my first successful film and have been sentimental about letting it go. It seems kind of silly, but I love that condo. It was a symbol that I’d achieved my dream. I have a house a bit further down the coast. The condo’s furnished but vacant. If you’re serious, we can look into it.”

  “I might be interested. So you like the area?”

  “Love it. I grew up in the mountains of North Carolina. One of the few things I like to remember about home. When you said you want to ‘get right with the Lord,’ that reminded me of home, too. I don’t think I’ve heard that phrase since I left the South.”

  “In Mississippi, we don’t count you as being from the South unless you have a football team in the SEC.”

  “In North Carolina, we wouldn’t know Mississippi was anything but a river if it weren’t for the SEC.”

  Sarah Beth pushed her drink away and fiddled with her napkin. Could she actually leave Adam?

  “Whoever he is, he’s a fool to let you slip away.” Dylan took out his phone. “Can I get your number to call you about the condo?”

  Eyes squinting, she studied him. Could she trust this guy?

  “Or I can give you my number.” A confident chuckle shook his chest. “Call me if you’re interested in the condo—or anything else.”

  ~~~

  Sarah Beth yawned and dug around in her bag for her keys. She finally grabbed them and started to let herself in.

  The lock barely turned before Adam yanked the door open. “Hey, how did it go?” His head jutted forward, eyes wide. “Whoa.”

  She slipped off the high heels that had been killing her feet for the last three hours. “Same old me, just wearing all this glamour Jill made me put on.”

  “You look— Wow, I’m speechless.”

  He tried to pull her into his arms, but she stiffened. “I’m tired, Adam. It was a long night. I’m going to sleep.” Leaving him there gawking, she pushed away and turned to climb the stairs.

  Chapter 16

  The first to arrive for family night at Chris and Kim’s, Sarah Beth headed to the backyard with the puppy wiggling in her arms. The dog had grown so much in a week. No more bottles, and she ate all the time. People said God answered prayers in mysterious ways. But really? She was lonely, and now she had this little dog. Not exactly what she’d expected, but the sweet pet kept her company.

  Questions nibbled at her as she waited for answers to other prayers. Would Nick and Katie or Jess actually come to Chris’ house tonight? What would she say to Jess if he did come?

  Minutes later, Camilla jogged out into the fenced yard and joined Sarah Beth in the grass, her attention focused on the puppy. Students trickled onto the deck, and Sarah Beth’s eyes drifted toward the back door. Again.

  At last, Katie came running toward her, leaving Nick on the deck. Yes. They’d shown up. At least Nick and Katie had.

  “I’m so glad you made it, Katie. This is Camilla. I’ve told her about you.”

  The girls became fast friends and ran around giggling with the dog. Before long, they decided to play in Camilla’s room and lugged the puppy toward the house.

  Sarah Beth caught up with them before they reached the deck. “Your mom said no dogs inside. You’ll have to leave the puppy with me.” Reluctant, they complied.

  The back door opened, and Jess walked onto the deck. Thank you, Lord. Peace washed over Sarah Beth as she returned to her grassy spot in the shade of an old oak tree.

  Wearing shorts, he stepped off the wooden planks heading her way. “Surprised to see me?”

  She glanced at him, then back at her puppy. “Hmm, somewhere between surprised and not surprised. If that makes sense.”

  “No. It doesn’t.” He plopped down on the grass beside her and reached to rub the little dog’s belly. “You still have this thing.”

  “Of course. When I commit, I’m all in.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.” One side of his lips lifted as he leaned back on his elbows with his legs stretched out in front of him. He crossed his feet.

  Bits of conversation drifted down from the deck. His presence felt comfortable. Except for the urge to stare at his muscular legs.

  The puppy ambled onto Jess’s lap. “Did you give it a name?”

  “I call her Ewok.”

  Throwing back his head, Jess laughed loud and hard. “I can’t wait to tell Nick.”

  “What? She looks like an Ewok from Star Wars.”

  “I can see a resemblance.” The breeze shifted, floating the scent of grilled meat their way. “Those burgers smell great. Can I bring you one?”

  “Sure. I normally eat with Camilla, but I think I’ve been replaced by Katie.”

  “It happens. I’ll take her place if you let me.” His fingers trailed across her back as he stood. Sarah Beth looked up at him. He held her gaze and smiled.

  A log seemed to lodge in her throat. She squeaked out, “Thanks.”

  “Be right back.”

  Not long after he left, Chris and Nick carried lawn chairs from the porch. Chris unfolded one and patted the seat. “You don’t have to sit on the ground.” He bent forward. “And I’ve got to see this animal I’ve heard so much about.” He picked up Ewok and inspected her. “She’s...cute...in the way that all God’s creatures are.” Scrunching his face, he pressed his lips together as if holding back what he really wanted to say.

  Nick let out a snort, and Chris laughed as he put the puppy back down. “I’m not laughing at her. Nick is making me laugh.”

  “Yeah, blame it on the guest.” Nick gave Chris a friendly punch.

  Sarah Beth nodded. “No one’s a guest for long around here. They treat you like family—for better or worse.”

  “That’s cool with me. Katie’s made a friend.”

  The night passed quickly, and Sarah Beth said a si
lent prayer about finishing her testimony to Jess. It would only get harder to delve into those emotional times, but God could use her pain to redeem other prodigals like her. No matter their past.

  Just after sundown, Nick pulled his keys from his pocket. “It’s Katie’s bedtime.”

  Camilla’s lips formed a pout. “Can’t she stay a little longer?”

  As he lifted his daughter, Nick gave her a kind smile. “We’ll make a playdate, but we have to get up early for daycare.” He shook hands with Chris and Kim. “We had a great time. Thanks for inviting us.”

  Kim rubbed Katie’s back before they exited. “We’ll have you over to play again soon, sweetie.”

  Steeling herself, Sarah Beth rehearsed what she’d say to Jess. She could do this.

  The door had barely shut when Nick reappeared.

  “What happened?” Jess stepped toward him.

  “Truck problem. Needs a new starter, I think, but I’ve been putting it off.” He shook his head. “A bit too long, apparently.”

  “I’ll take you home so you can get Katie to bed.” Jess rattled his keys. “We can come back tomorrow and get it to a mechanic.”

  “That’d be great, if you don’t mind.”

  “Not a problem.” Jess thanked everyone and put a hand on Sarah Beth’s shoulder. “See you soon, Sarah Beth. Maybe we can hit the water again Saturday or Sunday.” He winked as he turned and walked away.

  So much for worrying about what to say—until next time anyway.

  ~~~

  Fifteen minutes later, Jess opened the door to his uncluttered home. He toyed with the idea of going back to Chris’s to talk to Sarah Beth. That might seem weird, though. Too needy. A knock at his door pulled him from his internal debate.

  Through the window, he spotted Teddy Conrad’s Mercedes in the driveway. Crud. Should’ve gone back. He slung the door open a bit harder than he meant to. “Hey, what brings you by?”

  Teddy looked back over his shoulder. “Let’s talk inside.” He slithered in the house toward the living room. “Mind if I sit down?”

  Jess waved his arm toward the leather couch. He knew what was coming. Teddy thought money was the answer to everything, like a lot of fans he’d met over the years. They thought they could buy this player or that player for the team. Tell the coaches how to get more wins. The pressure always out in front of a coach like the pass no one could catch. The team had a winning season, but there’d never be enough wins for fans like Teddy. Jess sat on the edge of the brown leather chair, his elbows on his knees.