Conan (Black Shamrocks MC: First Generation Book 1)

by Kylie Hillman

  “I never thought of it that way,” I reply. I’m dumbfounded. It never made sense for them to use me to pay off Uncle Greg’s debt once they found out that I was underage.

  “Shhh,” Bonnie chides. She puts a finger over my lips to stop me from speaking. “I’m not finished yet.”

  Looking at Shari for support doesn’t help. She just grins at me. “You wound her up so you have to hear her out.”

  Bonnie smirks. “Exactly. Now, onto your fifth complaint. Your uncle. He’s a loser, everyone knows that, but his issues with the Mavericks aren’t your problem. They know not to mess with you because you work,” she makes quotations in the air with her fingers when she says work. “For the Black Shamrocks. Which goes back to my previous point that maybe they aren’t the devil that you think they are.”

  The hard stare she gives me informs me that she thinks that she’s right about the Black Shamrocks intentions and I’m wrong. My response is a noncommittal shrug. I know better than to interrupt her again so I wait for Bonnie to find the flaws in my last reason why tonight is a dumb idea.

  “Cole’s an outlaw biker. We’ve all read the papers so we know what that means. It means he’s dangerous, which also means that he can protect you from all of your uncle’s drama.” An involuntary gasp escapes from my chest. Shari bumps into my side. I twist slightly to look at her, and it hits me. On her face is the same placid chiding that covers Bonnie’s. These two have discussed this already.

  Tonight, is an intervention.

  Bonnie retakes her spot next to me. I hear her draw in a deep breath and then expel it. She turns to me, sheer determination tinged with sadness filling her eyes. “Me and Shari have been forbidden from hanging with you outside of school now that you live over this side of the city. And once we graduate, our parents have said that we can’t see you at all. They’re worried that hanging out with someone like you is going to distract us from our dancing and the academies overseas won’t be interested in us.”

  Her words hurt my heart. I push my hand against the ache in my chest and try to breathe through it. We’ve been best friends since kindergarten. Every year we’ve been in the same classes. Before my parents died, all three of us even lived on the same block. I don’t know what my life looks like without Bonnie and Shari in it.

  “I can’t lose you,” I whimper. Tears run down my cheeks and shaking overtakes my body.

  “We don’t want to lose you either,” Shari wraps her arms around me. She’s crying as well. “That’s why we want you to use Cole to get out of here.”

  “He’s perfect, Colleen.” Bonnie swipes at her wet cheeks and shakes my bed with her little bounces of enthusiasm. “We already know that he’ll protect you. Plus, he has an entire motorcycle club at his back if this crap with your uncle blows up. That’s why I asked Vic out tonight—so we can suss them out properly.”

  “I don’t know.” My gut is churning at the thought of using Cole like this. “It feels wrong.”

  “What other choice do we have?”

  Shari squeezes me on last time before she lets me go. “Bonnie’s right. There’s no other way out of this. School finishes in a month. You’re not eighteen for another month after that, and even then, it’s not guaranteed that you’ll be able to leave with Kerry. Where are you going to get the money to contest your parent’s will if it comes to that? How are you going to afford a house and food and all those other—”

  “Shut up!” I jam my fingers into my ears. The rolling waves in my tummy are making me feel like I’m going to vomit. “Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.”

  Pushing Bonnie out of the way, I head for my bedroom door. It slams against the wall when I pull it open. I need space. Room. Air. Oxygen. A whole new life.

  Of course, it would be too easy for them to just let me go. Nope, Bonnie grabs my left arm and Shari takes hold of my right then they haul me back inside.

  “Calm down,” Bonnie hisses. “Kerry will hear you if you don’t shut up.”

  “Don’t be mean to her.” Shari snaps at Bonnie. She rubs my back, then continues, “I told you this would happen.”

  I shake them both off and plonk down on my desk chair. With my head in my hands, I stare at the floor between my fingers. The stained, threadbare carpet mocks me—a symbol of how far my standard of living has fallen. My mum would have had a heart attack if she saw the state of the room that I share with Kerry. The conniption fit that would happen if she found out that Uncle Greg is a drug dealer would have been heard on Mars.

  “I’ll do it.”

  The thought of my mum’s reaction to our situation has caused the squiggly, dirty feeling that Bonnie’s plan created in my stomach to evaporate. In times of desperation, the rules go out the window. If Cole and his Club can protect me and Kerry, then that’s what I need to make happen.

  Getting to my feet, I begin picking through the pile of clothes we’d discarded on my bed. Shari comes over to help, nodding when I pull free the green dress that matches my eyes.

  “You’re doing the right thing.” Bonnie bumps against me, then stoops low to grab the black sandals that I’d tried on with it earlier. “He’ll want to eat you alive in this. It’s brilliant. A hint of boob, a bit of leg, but still casual enough if we end up playing pool.”

  I strip down to my underwear and start pulling the dress on. Bonnie grabs her own clothes and changes as well.

  Shari opens my bedroom door and calls for Kerry, “Hey, kiddo. They’re nearly ready to leave. Wanna go get pizza now?”

  Bonnie zips my dress up for me and I return the favour. Kerry stalks into the room and throws herself with dramatic flair and an audible huff onto her bed. She lays on her stomach and pulls her pillow over her head.

  Shari holds a hand in the air when I try to go to my sister. She sits on the edge of the bed and pats Kerry’s back. “Let me.”

  “Ouch,” I squeal when Bonnie comes up behind me and uses my hair to pull me toward the chair at my desk. She pushes me onto the chair and makes quick work of making up my face. Once she’s done, she spins the chair out of the way of my mirror and sets to work on her own face. Her stunning beauty—thick, dark brown eyelashes, plump red lips, and hazel eyes—doesn’t need much enhancement so she’s done in less than a minute.

  “Go,” she tells me, holding an imperial hand in the air and pointing in Kerry’s direction. “Make peace so we can leave.”

  “Kerry.” I approach my sister like a bomb that’s on the verge of detonating. “I’m leaving now, but before I go I want to tell you something.”

  She sticks her head out from under the pillow, just enough that I can see her eyes and nose. “What?”

  “I promise—no, I swear on our parent’s graves—that tonight is for us. This is going to help us get out of here.” Pulling the pillow away, I drop to my knees so I can look her in the eyes properly. “Please believe me. There is nothing in this world that could make me leave you behind.”

  Kerry holds out her hand with the pinkie bent. “Promise?”

  I hook my pinkie through hers. “I promise. Remember, as long as we stick together, we can get through anything. I’d be lost without my partner.”

  My little sister crawls onto the floor with me and wraps her arms around my neck.

  “I love you,” she whispers.

  “I love you, too.”

  Shari bends down until her mouth is level with Kerry’s ear. “I’m the one who’s staying back to babysit and I’m letting you have all the pizza you want. You better love me, too.”

  Her comment breaks the heaviness that’s filled the room. Kerry gives me a kiss on the cheek and then springs to her feet. She grabs Shari’s hand so she can drag her to the door. Just before they’re out of earshot, I hear my sister say, “If you let me drink coke, I’ll love you forever.”

  FIFTEEN

  Colin

  I wanted to pick the girls up. Vic insisted that we let them meet us here. As I watch Colleen walk into the dingy pool parlour that’s the current haunt for
my age group, I decide that he was right. Having a front row view of her entering the hall in that green dress is the stuff of wet dreams.

  “Fuck. Me. Dead.” I nudge Vic. He puts down his beer and holds his hand up. I slap my palm against his, then grab hold of it and pull him into me until our shoulders bump. “I owe you big time.”

  His eyes light up and he laughs, “I don’t think I’ve done too bad for myself.”

  Bonnie is leading Colleen toward us. I can see why Vic’s attracted to her—smooth, porcelain skin, long dancer legs, and a face that could be on the front of one of the magazines that my mum reads by the bucket load. She’s beautiful.

  But, she doesn’t have the “thing” that Colleen does. Where Bonnie is picture perfect, Colleen is real. She’s soft and inviting; her freckled skin asks for your touch while her face telegraphs her every emotion. Every atom of my body screams for me to claim her. I want to dedicate my life to preserving her innocence and saving her from the harsh realities of the world.

  “Head in the game.” Vic smacks the back of his hand against my gut. He steps forward and greets the girls. “Bonnie. Colleen. You both look lovely.”

  He grabs Bonnie’s hand and tugs her toward the bar. She looks back over her shoulder, worry about Colleen in her expression, and I realise that I’m standing here gaping at her like a fool with my mouth open and my gaze looking anywhere but her.

  So smooth, Cole—you should give lessons.

  I close my mouth and force myself to look at her. Her face is red and I can see that I’ve hurt her feelings with my fuck up. Channelling a bit of Vic’s confidence, I take her hand. My thumb runs an unheeded pattern over her silky skin.

  “I’m glad you came tonight,” I say. For once, my voice doesn’t crack when I speak to her. “Would you like a drink?”

  Colleen manages to blush harder. She nods, her gaze never straying from the floor. I don’t know what to do to make this easier. Me and dating aren’t on friendly terms. I don’t have any experience outside of the Club. Usually, if I want to take someone to bed, I just ask.

  Which doesn’t help me any since taking Colleen to bed is at the bottom of my list. I want to talk to her. Get to know her. Find out what she wants from life.

  “Here ya go.” Vic all but slams my pint of beer against my chest. I steady it just in time to avoid the liquid sloshing over the rim and onto my shirt. He glares at me through narrowed eyes, then rearranges his face into something more pleasant when he passes a glass of something fizzy to Colleen. “For the lady.”

  Bonnie takes a sip of her drink. She smirks at me. Now it’s my turn to blush which makes her smirk widen. “So, Cole. Tell me a bit about yourself?”

  I drink down half my beer while I think about an answer. Nothing comes. My mind is a whirlpool of rushing thoughts. I’m so far out of my comfort zone that I’m practically drowning in the bloody Atlantic right now.

  “He pours a good beer,” Colleen speaks up.

  “That’s true,” I reply. We finally look each other in the eye and it’s glorious. The glimmer of cheekiness that greets me creates a twinkle that makes the jade in her eyes turn emerald. “And you can carry a mean tray.”

  Colleen raises her glass to me. “That is very true.”

  “Do you want to—” We blurt at the same time.

  We both laugh. I try again, but Colleen does as well. “We could—”

  “Oh, my Lord,” Bonnie grabs her stomach as she laughs. “They’re perfect for each other.”

  Vic shakes his head. He’s laughing too and I can’t decide if I want to join them or punch him. He could have told me that I’m socially inept before tonight. Then I could have practiced or something.

  “Want to grab a bite to eat?” I ask while our friends are having a laugh at our expense.

  “I do,” Colleen says.

  Flashes of her red hair covered by a white veil fly through my mind at those words. I need to shake my head to rid it of the vision before I can speak again.

  I hold out my arm and bow. “Shall we?”

  Colleen smiles and takes my arm. Bonnie walks next to Vic, who sends a shit-eating grin in my direction. I concede his point with a quick incline of my head. My old-time gentleman act with the arm and the bow was stolen straight out of his playbook. I don’t have my own moves so anything goes tonight.

  Once we’re seated—Colleen opposite me and Bonnie opposite Vic, my heart rate picks up speed. This is real now. I’m on a date with Colleen. My hand shakes when I pass her the menu. My head spins when she smiles at me like I’ve offered her something precious. I’m going to pass the fuck out if I don’t get my shit together.

  Thankfully, everyone decides what they want quickly and I see a way to catch my breath.

  “Hey, Vic,” I try to keep the tremor out of my voice when I speak. “You wanna help me with the drinks?”

  With the girl’s orders in hand, I make for the bar like I’ve just committed a crime and the cops are on my tail. Vic needs to adjust his stride to keep up with me.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

  I blink, then I blink again. My eyesight has gone fuzzy. I’ve only had one beer so I know I’m not drunk.

  “Dude, I’m fucked up,” I reply. “I’m all sweaty, my head won’t stop spinning, now my eyes have gone funny.”

  Vic turns so that I’m blocked from the two girls view. “Did you take something?”

  “No. Course not.”

  He runs an assessing glance over me. I expect him to help me instead he starts laughing.

  “You’re a fucking pansy. You’re having a bloody meltdown over a date with a girl.” I glare at him. He turns serious when he realises that I’m not kidding around. “Mate, just try to breathe properly. You’re working yourself up, that’s all.”

  I’m out of options so I try what he suggests. It takes a minute, but a dozen deep breaths later, and I’m starting to feel better. My eyesight returns and the clammy feeling on my skin goes away.

  “Fucking hell,” I groan. “That was intense.”

  This time, at least, Vic tries to hide his humour at my predicament. “Brian’s mum has these things called panic attacks. Pretty sure she takes Xanax or something for them. Maybe you need to get your hands on some if you want to see Colleen again?”

  If I wasn’t feeling like a dickhead already, his smartassed comment would have sent me over the edge. Rather than give him anything else to make fun of me over, I turn to the bartender who’s been a silent spectator during my meltdown and order our meals.

  When I’m done, I slap a twenty down on the bar and leave Vic to get the drinks. Colleen and Bonnie are deep in conversation when I return to our table. It immediately ceases and I assume that my weirdness before was the topic. I’ve got my shit back together and I’m determined to get this date back on the right foot.

  Tomorrow night, Colleen will be back at the Clubhouse serving food and drinks and then tidying up. It’s impossible to talk to her when my watchful father is around so I can’t let a bad case of the nerves get the better of me and ruin my one chance to get to know her better.

  “Dinner shouldn’t be long,” I announce when I sit down. “There wasn’t too much of a line up.”

  “I wouldn’t hold my breath,” Bonnie says. “It took you a while to order. If there wasn’t a line, what took so long?”

  Ignoring her baited question, I concentrate on Colleen. “Are you excited to graduate soon?”

  “Yes,” she answers after a telling pause.

  “I was shitting myself when the end started to get closer. I had nothing but footy training to keep me busy. It was hard until I worked out what I wanted to do.” I trail off when I remember Colleen’s dislike of the Black Shamrocks.

  I thank God for the reprieve when it doesn’t seem to bother her. Her eyes light up and the first real glimpse of her personality shines through. “Tell me about it. I’m ready to finish school, but I don’t have a clue what to do next. Plus, I have no money so uni is out
of the question. Then there’s Kerry. It’s a mess. Being a kid is so much easier.”

  Her cheeks have flushed—not from embarrassment for once—because she’s passionate about what she’s saying. I lean forward, propping my elbows on the table. She’s even prettier when she stops overthinking everything.

  “Absolutely. I thought it was hard when I was twelve and had chores.” She nods at what I’m saying. “Nowadays, I wish I could go back to those days and enjoy them properly.”

  “Oh, me too!” Colleen beams. “How silly were we?”

  Vic returns to the table with a fresh round of drinks. He slides them in front of everyone before engaging Bonnie—who’s been silent while me and Colleen have been chatting—in conversation.

  “Did you enjoy your ride the other night?” I have an ulterior motive for bringing this topic up. It’s a gamble, but I have nothing to lose after the way tonight started so I’m happy to challenge the odds.

  Colleen blushes, a brilliant pink flush that starts at her neck and races up her face. Score one for Cole. She’s thinking of our kiss. I reach across the table and grab her hand.

  “I did.”

  “So, did I,” I admit with ease. “I really enjoyed what happened when you got off my bike. That was even better than the ride.”

  “I’m sorry for what I said afterward,” Colleen’s words emerge in a rush, tripping over themselves in a way that makes me smile. “I was mad about everything and I took it out on you.”

  “I get it. I would’ve been pissed, too.” Locking eyes with her, I let my thumb wander over the thin skin at her wrist. “I’m glad that you gave a second chance tonight.”