Rocker Boy

by Wendy Knight

  But it wouldn't be okay. There was no easy way out of this. She had to get over him.

  Her phone beeped.

  Sighing, she dug it out of her back pocket. Check this out. It was from a number she didn't recognize and had a Forum link attached. All smart girls know it's not a good idea to open a random attachment, but Levi Vasi caught her eye in the URL, and her finger one-clicked before her brain even okayed it.

  It was Levi. He was singing. His shirt was off, tossed over the leather couch, and his tattoos seemed to dance under the light as his hands moved seductively over the strings on his guitar. She'd forgotten how devastatingly gorgeous he was, and her hands ached to touch his skin.

  And the song. The song he sang nearly shattered her heart.

  I'd sell my soul to save you. I'd shred my heart to have you. Look at me wanting you. I'm burning in the most beautiful hell.

  "He's singing to you."

  "I sure hope so, Angela. I sure hope so."

  She slid her fingers over the strings of her guitar, the melody that had been haunting her all day long filling the silent room. She might have written the music for it, but the words were what shattered her. She played Levi's song, letting the blueprint in her head expand, adding melodies and harmonies. She played with her eyes closed, and in her head Levi sang with her.

  Levi: How is she?

  Jace: Why do you never wait until I'm home to bug me? We're not supposed to have our phones on in class. Why don't you ask her yourself?

  Levi: Because she blocked me, ass hat. How is she?

  Jace: Brandon's giving her trouble. I'm watching him.

  Levi: Is her mom gone?

  Jace: I don't know. PS-you're an ass. You could have given me warning about that song. It tore her apart.

  Levi: She heard it? Did she know?

  Jace: Since she's not an idiot, yes, she knew.

  Levi: What did she say?

  Jace: It's Harli, Levi. She didn't say anything.

  LEVI SET HIS PHONE down, running his hand through his short, spiky hair. He should have gone home. When they had the two day break, he should have told Michael to screw off, and he should have gone home to talk to her.

  His song, despite its lack of publicity or marketing of any kind, was doing amazingly well. Apparently, there was a niche for songs about how shattered one's heart is.

  Who knew?

  Now Michael was pestering him to write more songs. And Levi, for once, was happy to oblige. He was going crazy without her. He dreamed of her at night. She was the first thing he thought about when he woke up and she was the last conscious thought he had before he passed out. He'd even bought a bottle of her lilac lotion.

  Yeah, he was losing his mind.

  He had a concert the next day. The tour bus was quiet—everyone was asleep after being up so late the night before. But Levi couldn't sleep — when he closed his eyes, all he could see was her face that day before he left. So he wrote, instead. It was his salvation — writing about her as if it would keep her with him. He leaned back, staring at the ceiling and listening to the tires spin below him.

  "I need to go home." He wasn't even aware he'd spoken the words out loud until the sound of his own voice startled him. He rolled over and grabbed his phone. She'd blocked him from her Forum page. She'd blocked his calls and texts. But he still had almost a thousand pictures of her on his phone. It was all he had left.

  "That after-party last night was a bitch." Colin stumbled by, swaying dangerously as the bus went around a corner. "You missed out."

  Levi shook his head. "You look like shit. I don't think I missed out on much."

  Colin peered in the mirror, sticking his tongue out like he was inspecting it for germs. "Too much alcohol. The girls were hot, though."

  Levi rolled his eyes. "I saw the girls before I left."

  Colin flopped down next to him. "They get better with alcohol. Almost as hot as your Harli."

  Your Harli. She wasn't his anymore. He was losing time. Every minute that ticked by was another minute Harli could be forgetting him.

  Graham tumbled out of his bunk, pale and gray. Two girls fell out after him. "You left before things got good, Levi. You're missing out on all the fun."

  Levi cringed, staring at the floor and trying not to notice the girls squealing in embarrassment as they tried to find something to cover themselves. Graham left them standing in the aisle and went to the bathroom, scratching himself.

  "Yeah. Next stop, I'm outta here. I'm going home." Levi rolled onto his stomach and grabbed his notebook.

  Colin sat up so fast he fell over. "You're quitting?"

  That hadn't been his plan, although the thought did cross his mind when he got particularly Harli-sick. The thought of leaving it all — the parties, the people, the pain — it was amazingly tempting.

  But the music. The creation. Colin and Dorian. They were part of him — part of his soul. He couldn't leave them. It would tear him apart.

  Worse than losing Harli?

  Well, that was the question, wasn't it?

  "Michael, we're stopping in the next major town. I'm going home." Levi glanced at Colin. "And no, I'm not quitting. I'll be back before the show tomorrow."

  "And you'll be effing exhausted, man. It isn't an option." Michael sat back in his chair, his fat overflowing around him. They were his only clients, and he watched them like hawks.

  But Levi was tired of being babysat. He shrugged. "Fine. I'll quit."

  Everyone, even the naked groupies wrapped awkwardly in blankets, froze. The bus driver watched him in the rearview mirror. Michael sat up, gasping for breath. "Don't be ridiculous. You can't quit."

  "Dude, you quit and she'll never take you back." Colin kept his voice low, so only Levi could hear him.

  Levi didn't look at him. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Michael. "This wasn't my dream. It was hers. Without her in it, I don't want it anymore."

  Michael sighed, pulling out a handkerchief to dab at his face. "Fine. You want to go home? Go ahead. And when you collapse on stage from exhaustion, don't say I didn't warn you."

  "The only reason I'd collapse on stage from exhaustion is because you have us working or mandatory partying in every spare second we have."

  "I'm making you rich, boy. So you can marry that stupid girl and live in a big house. You know damn well, without me, you wouldn't be able to give her anything but a shit-hole house and a druggie mother-in-law. And you know what they say about the apple."

  Levi swallowed hard as humiliation washed over him in icy-hot waves. "I'd never let that happen."

  "You think because she's some sort of musical genius that she'd make you rich? Is that what this is? She doesn't have what it takes. She's not cutthroat. She'll never be anything."

  Levi's fist slammed into the headrest next to Michael's face. He could barely see through the red haze of rage. "If you ever even breathe a word about her again, I'll fire you so fast you won't even have time to buy a Twinkie. Do you understand me?" he hissed, his face inches from Michael's.

  "You wouldn't last a week out there without me. And I could make it so no other manager would come near you."

  "Okay boys, let's all just calm down." Dorian pulled Levi back, giving him a gentle push toward his bunk. "Get some rest, Levi. We've got an hour until we hit Pittsburgh, and then you can go home." Dorian's gray eyes shifted to Michael, daring him to argue. But Michael crossed his arms and glared out the window, silent.

  Levi grabbed his phone off the couch and went to his bunk, booking the first flight out of Pittsburgh. His heart sped up with painful hope. Maybe, if he went home, she would forgive him. Maybe everything would be alright.

  Chapter Eleven

  Levi: Where is Sunshine?

  Jace: We're at a bonfire in the hills. Why?

  Levi: I just got off the plane. Need to see her.

  Jace: It's about freakin' time. We're at the usual spot. You remember it?

  Levi: I'm on my way.

 
; LEVI SLUNG HIS BAG OVER HIS shoulder and tugged his hat low over his eyes so no one would notice him. He hadn't told Michael when his plane left or landed, so there was no paparazzi waiting for him. He made it out of the airport and to his rental car before anyone had a chance to notice him. His heart beat her name, over and over, and he couldn't drive fast enough. Harli. Harli. Harli.

  He knew what would happen. He'd show up, and she would run. Because that's what Harli did. She ran from everything. Confrontation, pain. It was the only way she knew how to survive, and Levi didn't blame her. Her monster of a mother had taught her early — the only way to protect herself was to run.

  But Levi had a plan. He parked right behind her rusted-red truck. He'd tried to buy her a new one, but she wouldn't let him. She thought her car was just fine. He thought it was a death trap. If she ever took him back, that would be the first thing he did — buy her a great big, reinforced truck. So she'd be safe when she ran.

  He shut the door quietly, although between the roar of the flames and the laughter and talking, he probably didn't need to bother. It was dark enough that nobody noticed him as he slid through the shadows, as close to the bonfire as he could get without being in the flickering light.

  Levi could feel her. He knew she was close because his blood pounded in his ears and his mouth went dry. He found her, his gaze moving anxiously through the flames until he caught her, sitting to the side of him, watching the fire. Kim and Jace sat with her, Jace's fingers strumming idly on his guitar.

  Levi's eyes devoured her with a desperation that made him shake. Her long brown hair was piled on top of her head, long waves escaping to frame her face. She had on a black hoodie — one of Jace's, if Levi remembered right, and jeans with holes in the knees. Anyone watching her would never realize her grandmother was one of the richest women in the country. They would also never suspect she'd been abused by her mother her entire life. Levi promised once to take her away from that forever. He still had every intention of doing that. He couldn't let her go. He couldn't get over her. Life without Harli was dark and cold.

  "Come on, guys, please play!" Kim hit them with her puppy dog eyes.

  "That's why I came," Brandon said. Levi had beat the shit out of him a year ago when he wouldn't leave Harli alone. Now he was sitting too close to her, watching her too intently, touching her every chance he got. Anger made Levi's blood roar, and he nearly left his hiding spot, his hands clenching in tight fists.

  "Please, Harli? You don't have to sing."

  Harli laughed. "I don't have any instruments." She held her hands up innocently, so adorable that Levi forgot his anger and nearly sobbed. His entire body ached to hold her, his fingers itched to run through her silky waves. He was about to step out of the shadows when Jace started playing.

  Jace, more than anyone in the world, knew how to work Harli. So when he started playing, he knew as well as Levi did that she wouldn't be able to resist. Harli hid from music, from her instruments, from her talent. But it was in her blood, entwined through her soul. It was her first love, and it only took one verse before she sighed, pulled the buckets closer, and flipped them over.

  She closed her eyes when she played. A smile, small and peaceful, spread across her face as her hands found the rhythm. Everyone stopped to watch her play, because watching her play was like magic, and she brought her music to life.

  Kim joined in the chorus, her sweet voice blending with Jace's smooth, deep one, twisting over and under the melody.

  When the song ended, Harli pushed the buckets away. "I so gotta find a snack right now," she said as she climbed over the log she was sitting on and started for her car. But Levi knew her better than that. She was running… before they'd ask her to play again.

  He backed up, weaving through the drunk high school kids with red plastic cups in their hands, and he made it to her truck just before she did. He leaned against the driver's side door and waited, trying to pretend his hands weren't shaking.

  "Levi." Her voice was barely a shocked whisper.

  "Hi, Sunshine."

  She narrowed her eyes, twisting her fingers together nervously. "What are you doing here? I thought you had a concert."

  "Not 'til tomorrow. I had to see you." His voice broke like a pre-pubescent kid, and he had to clear his throat before he trusted himself to speak. "I can't do this without you, Harli."

  She looked at her car and then those big, dark, dark brown eyes skipped to his rental car, and a rueful smile lit her face as she shook her head. "You blocked me in."

  "I didn't want you to run."

  Everything in him was screaming to be close to her. His hands trembled with the need to feel her skin. Her eyes dipped to his mouth and her pretty pink cheeks flushed.

  "I've been crazy without you, Sunshine. I can't do this. I need you too much." He caught her hand, because she'd moved closer to him almost like she couldn't help herself. His thumb slid over the smooth skin of her wrist and she sucked in a breath, swaying toward him.

  Shadows played across her face as her dark eyes slid again to his mouth and she bit her lip, meeting his gaze uncertainly. "Levi…" she whispered.

  Normally, he had the will power of a saint. But not with Harli. His strength collapsed and he jerked her toward him, groaning as her body molded against his. Slowly, so slowly, she raised her face to him and he lowered his head, brushing his lips against hers. "I've missed you so much, Sunshine," he murmured against her mouth. He cupped her cheek, running his thumb over her cheek bone, staring down into her eyes. He could feel her pulse leap in her neck as her eyes darted from being caught in his gaze to his mouth and back again. He lowered his head, brushing a kiss against her mouth again. She moaned, her eyes fluttering closed. Harli raised on her toes, pressing herself against him. His arms slid around her waist, pulling her tighter. He couldn't seem to get her close enough. Her lips met his as his tongue skimmed hers, forcing his way into her mouth. Heat seared him as her body moved against his, and his hands, as if they had a will of their own, found their way under her hoodie to the smooth skin of her back. He shifted against her, pulling her to stand between his legs as he leaned against her truck. It had been so long. Too long since he'd felt her skin against his, and everything in him screamed how badly he wanted her. She trembled, rising on her toes to press herself against him. "Levi…" she sighed his name as he left her mouth to kiss her neck, sucking lightly against her pulse. Her hands locked behind his head, holding him there, her breathing ragged with the same need he was fighting.

  Her clothes were in his way. There were too many layers, too many things keeping her from him. He pulled the hoodie over her head and dropped it to the ground, and tangled his fingers in her hair, dragging it free so it tumbled down her back. He fisted his hands in the soft waves, pulling her head back so he could kiss the hollow of her neck as she whimpered.

  "Levi? I thought you were on tour. Guys!" One of the girls from Harli's class stumbled up to them, yelling over her shoulder. "Guys! Levi's here! He can sing to us!" She pressed herself against him as Harli jerked away, her hand against her mouth.

  "Now isn't a good time," he told the girl, setting her away from him but keeping one hand on her shoulder because she looked like she could topple over if the breeze hit her just right. The rest of the party had swarmed through the trees to the cars to see him. He caught sight of Jace on the fringes, shaking his head.

  "Take a picture with me." The girl leaned into him again, pulling her top down so he could see way too much skin.

  He sighed. "One quick picture. Then I really have to go."

  She squealed and jumped and fell over. He grabbed her arm, hauling her to her feet, sending an apologetic look toward Harli.

  But she was gone.

  "Shit." He scanned the crowd and then the surrounding trees. Harli was nowhere. "Jace!" he yelled.

  Jace, from the fringe of the crowd, raised an eyebrow in question, and then realizing Harli was gone, spun in a circle, searching too. "I'm on it!" he yelled o
ver his shoulder, jogging toward the trees.

  They looked all night. Jace called her; Kim went to her house. It was like she'd just disappeared.

  And Levi ran out of time. He didn't find her, and he didn't get to say goodbye, and he didn't get to beg her to take him back. He would have to get on the plane wondering if she was okay, wondering if she was hurt. And if leaving the first time had broken his heart, leaving the second time nearly destroyed him.

  A sudden thought hit him, and he spun around, running for his car.

  "I DON'T KNOW WHERE the hell you are, but I'm effing pissed, Harli. Answer the damn phone, or I'm calling the cops."

  Harli winced as she lowered her cell from her ear to delete Jace's message. Her entire body hurt from sleeping in the cemetery all night, curled up on Jace's hoodie that now smelled devastatingly like Levi. With exhausted, dirty fingers, she traced the engraving on the headstone. "I hurt your brother, Angie. I hurt Levi." Tears slowly snaked their way down her face, making trails in the dirt.

  Angela Vasi. Loving daughter, sister, and friend.

  "She'd tell you you've got to stop running." Harli froze, her finger on the a.

  "Sunshine, you can't do this. It's not safe." Levi knelt next to her, and she finally raised her head to meet those eyes she loved so much. "We looked everywhere for you. I don't know why it didn't occur to me to look for you here first." He shook his head ruefully, eyes full of pain, face pale and exhausted.

  "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I panicked. I didn't know where else to go."

  "Sleeping in a cemetery in April is not my first pick, but I'm sure Angie appreciated the company. Especially if you still talk in your sleep." Although he smiled, it didn't reach those beautiful eyes. "I'm surprised Jace didn't think to look here. You guys are pretty tight."